This week marked the beginning of the end for the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact as the magistrate judge assigned to the case recommended dismissal for the court’s lack of personal jurisdiction over any of the defendants.
LOLsuit: The Emotional Picture—Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, McCain, Gilly, Lemmen, Haper, Heather, Kiernan, Dykes, Sheiko, and Krendler, Case No. 14-CV-01685-CCB (D.Md. 2104); filed 20 May, 2014; withdrawn by Plaintiff 22 May, 2014.
LOLsuit II: The Wrath of Copyrights—Hoge v. Schmalfeldt, Case No. 14-CV-01683-ELH (D.Md. 2014); counterclaims against Hoge, Heather, and Krendler filed on 3 June, 2014; amended counterclaims against Hoge and Krendler filed on 5 June, 2014; counterclaims dismissed with prejudice 15 August, 2014.
LOLsuit III: The Search for Schlock—Schmalfeldt v. Johnson, Hoge, Krendler, and Earl, Case No. 15-CV-00315-RDB (D.Md. 2015); filed 2 February, 2015; motion to proceed in forma pauperis denied 18 February, 2015; dismissed for lack of jurisdiction 18 February, 2015.
LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion—Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, Johnson, Krendler, and Earl, Case No. 13-C-15-102498 (Md.Cir.Ct. Howard Co. 2015); filed 23 February, 2015; dismissed for lack of service of process and improper venue 18 June, 2015.
LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland—Schmalfeldt v. Grady, Case No. 15-CV-01241-RDB (D.Md. 2015), filed 27 April, 2015; amended complaint against Grady, Hinckley, Edgren, Roy Schmalfeldt, “Grace,” “Ashterah,” and Earl filed 2 July, 2015; voluntarily dismissed with prejudice 19 August, 2015
LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler—Schmalfeldt v. Grady, Johnson, Palmer, Deeley, The William G. Irwin Charitable Foundation, Gilly, John Does, and Jane Does, Case No. 15-CV-1516 (E.D.Wi., 2015); filed 18 December, 2015; voluntarily dismissed against Grady, Gilly, Deeley, and Irwin Foundation 1 February 2016; dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction for remaining defendants 1 July, 2016.
LOLsuit VII: Degenerations—Schmalfeldt v. Grady and Palmer, Case No. 16-CV-7150 (N.D.Il.); filed 11 July, 2016; voluntarily dismissed dismissed 23 September, 2016.
And now LOLsuit VIII bites the dust. One of these days, his unbroken record of failure will break through The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s delusions of adequacy, and he will stop filing these LOLsuits. Perhaps that day has come, but perhaps not. Just in case, the signup sheet to pick dates for the LOLsuit IX filing pool is posted in the break area.