Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny is out on an assignment, so we’re recycling this episode from a couple of years ago—

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Good morning. It’ been a while since you called. What’s up these days?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Nothing much with me, but The Bomber’s finally filed his opposition to the motions to dismiss his RICO suit.

JOHNNY: Oh, yeah. That was due yesterday.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) I just saw it on PACER.

JOHNNY: I guess I’ll take a look.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of The Short Fused Dude Matter.

AARON TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JohnnyAtsign Give me a call.

SOUND: Road noise, car interior POV.

JOHNNY: Aaron was one of the defendants in The Bomber’s RICO lawsuit. He had downloaded the opposition and had found several points that he thought needed investigating. He lives in Northern Virginia, and I’m based in Northern Maryland, so we arranged to meet roughly half-way between near DC.

SOUND: Cross fade from road noise to restaurant background.

AARON: (Fade in) … isn’t the only new claim he’s making, but it strikes me as the easiest to debunk.

JOHNNY: Uh, huh. It’s a pretty lame claim anyway. What was he thinking?

AARON: There’s no telling.

JOHNNY: Also, why bother debunking it? This is a new allegation. Didn’t the judge say he couldn’t offer any further amendments to his complaint? Why not just move to strike it and the other new stuff?

AARON: I may, but that may not be the best strategy. If the judge does let it come in, I’ll need the evidence to shoot it down. Even if the judge throws it out, The Bomber’s PR flacks like Bunny Boy and Cannoli will try to use it to create sympathy for him. If it’s been properly debunked, that will make it harder for the lie to get traction. The more we can …

WAITRESS: OK, your order’s up. Let’s see, you had the burger.

JOHNNY: Yeah. Thanks.

WAITRESS: And here’s your salad.

AARON: Umm, hmmm.

WAITRESS: Can I get you anything else?

AARON: Another unsweetened ice tea.

JOHNNY: No, thanks. I’m fine.

SOUND: Fade out restaurant background.

ANNOUNCER: I just got the last of my Christmas shopping done. Most of the gifts are coming from Amazon, but the stocking stuffers are coming from The Hogewash Store. There’s all sorts of interesting goodies available there. Stop by today, and spend some cash to support Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support Team Lickspittle by hitting the Tip Jar or by doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

JOHNNY: OK, I’m sure you’re wondering what that easily debunked claim was. Here it is—The Bomber claimed that, ever since the mean, nasty bloggers had been telling the truth about him, he had been unable to create any songs or videos. He claimed that their truth telling made it impossible for him to work.

Of course, that was an easy enough claim to check. The Bomber and his house band Op-Comical inflict their various caterwaulings on the public via YouTube. Doing a search on the band’s YouTube page showed several “music” videos that were posted in 2011 and 2012.

So when did The Bomber claim that the defamation by truth telling began? His rambling opposition was a bit unclear, but it was either August or October of 2010. Yet, right there on YouTube were video showing ©2011 and ©2012 by BomberSongs.

Some jobs are just too easy.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @Aaron You were right. 2012 came after 2010.

MUSIC: Theme up and under

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? It’s the Christmas season—let’s enjoy the holidays. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

One thought on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

  1. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 12.04.17 : The Other McCain

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