Blognet


NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

MUSIC: Up, then under …

NARRATOR: You’re a Detective Sergeant. You’re assigned to Internet Detail. A copyright troll has attempted to register a copyright on a work consisting of material plagiarized from bloggers. Your job … get the facts.

MUSIC: Up then under …

ANNOUNCER: Blognet … the documented drama of an actual case. For the next few minutes, in cooperation with the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department, you will travel step by step on the side of the good guys through an actual case transcribed from official files. From beginning to end, from crime to punishment, Blognet is the story of the good guys in action.

MUSIC: Up and out.

SOUND: Footsteps in hallway.

FRIDAY: It was Tuesday, October 27th. It was pleasant autumn weather in Westminster. We were working the overnight watch out of Internet Detail. My partner is Liz Smith. The Boss is Twitter Town Sheriff W. J. J. Hoge. My name’s Friday. It was 12:27 am when I entered Room S-140. Internet Detail.

SOUND: Door opens and closes. Footsteps across room.

SMITH: … He’s tried this kind of nonsense before …

SOUND: (In background as SMITH continues) Chair pulled out. Paper bag rustles. Microwave oven door opens and closes. Microwave oven starts

SMITH: … He’s claiming what? … That’s even stranger than some of his audio skits … Does he really expect that anyone would believe that? … So what do you think he’s trying to do? … Uh, huh … Uh, huh … Yeah, right, The Zombie isn’t likely to fall for it … Yes, we’ll review it and let you know … OK, Goodbye.

SOUND: Telephone receiver hung up. Microwave oven beeps. Microwave oven door opens and closes.

SMITH: What’s for lunch, Joe?

FRIDAY: Leftover Chinese food. Chicken vegetable deluxe and Moo Shoo pork.

SOUND: Chair pulled out.

SMITH: I’ll take some of each.

FRIDAY: OK. Here you go.

SMITH: Thanks. Mmmm.

FRIDAY: What was that all about?

SMITH: Parvocampus. More copyright nonsense.

FRIDAY: What now?

SMITH: That was the Boss on the phone. He’s emailing a pdf of Parvocampus’ new book. He wants us to go over it and catalog what’s been plagiarized.

FRIDAY: Oh?

SMITH: Yeah. The book is supposed to be the story of how Parvocampus is really The Zombie. The Sheriff says that it’s mostly a copy-and-paste job stolen from The Zombie’s blog and that Parvocampus says he’s applied to register the copyright.

FRIDAY: Ah, that’s his angle.

SMITH: Huh?

FRIDAY: Any copyright registration would be bogus. I’ll bet Parvocampus expects that The Zombie will take some sort of action against the infringement and that in the course of doing so will have to use his real name.

SMITH: The Sheriff agrees that he’s trying to get The Zombie to react.

FRIDAY: Won’t happen. We don’t know exactly what yet, but there’s sure to be a gaping hole in Parvocampus’ plan.

SMITH: Ya’ think?

FRIDAY: Given his past performance, what are the odds?

MUSIC: Stinger and under.

FRIDAY: I lost the toss and spent a couple of hours going over the new Parvocampus book.

3:49 am.

Well, this thing really is mostly cut-and-paste. I’ve tagged the parts that are ripped off from The Zombie. That’s most of the book.

SMITH: UH, huh. So The Zombie does have grounds to go after Parvocampus.

FRIDAY: Yeah, but he won’t need to.

SMITH: How’s that?

FRIDAY: I didn’t get ten pages into this mess before I read something that sounded familiar. I looked back through the Boss’ blogs and found that Parvocampus had ripped him off too.

SMITH: [quiet laughter]

FRIDAY: Yeah. The Sheriff has standing to go after Parvocampus on this one.

SMITH: The Zombie won’t have to do a thing.

FRIDAY: I think we’ve found the hole in his plan.

MUSIC: Up and under.

NARRATOR: On October 26th, Willy Parvocampus filed an Application for Registration of the copyright on the book in question. In a moment the status of that application.

MUSIC: Stinger.

ANNOUNCER: Are you a loyal supporter of Team Lickspittle? While there’s a lot of neat stuff to spend your money on at The Hogewash Store, sometimes you have to buy something useful. When that happens, there’s still a way to support Team Lickspittle. Simply use the Amazon link in the sidebar on the Home page. When you shop at Amazon via that link, you’ll pay the same great price, and Hogewash! will get a cut of the action. The Hogewash Store and Amazon—two great ways to support Team Lickspittle. And did you know that there’s a third way as well? Feel free to hit the Tip Jar.

NARRATOR: On October 26th, Willy Parvocampus filed an Application for Registration of the copyright on the book in question. Registration as not been granted, and there is no longer any record of a pending application.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: You have just heard Blognet, a series of authentic cases from official files. Technical advice comes from the office of the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Blognet is a work of fiction. Anyone who thinks it’s about him should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in on Monday evenings at 6 pm Eastern Time for the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous Internet investigator—Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

8 thoughts on “Blognet

  1. Details. details it is always the details that trip dishonest people–like good ol’ Willy Parvocampus–up.

  2. You know what would be REALLY funny? If unbeknownst to BS, PK has actually sold all the rights to his works to WJJH.

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