43 thoughts on “I’m Not Making This Up, You Know

  1. Wassa matter Bill, couldn’t figure out how to turn it into Thank Heavens for Little Boys or do you just sing that to yourself during your monthly shower?

    • No…. You really AREN’T worth thinking about you frikken waste of carbon.

      An unemployed, adjudacted rapist, purveyor of child porn “parody,” living in your inflataskank’s sister’s house, and all around stolen valor POS.

      Yeah… if it weren’t for the PLM, nobody on this planet would give you a second thought.

      Pond scum deserves more consideration than you do, Fatboy.

        • The only reason I think about Bill Schmalfeldt is for the entertainment. His love of the Internet and his inability to behave like a decent human being is a perfect formula for lulz and PLM. We even take pity and try to help and coach him at times, because we are decent human beings. But nope, he just keeps doing what he wants. No thought of muzzling himself or removing himself from the PLM spotlight.

          Ya know, as his living arrangements keep deteriorating, how long does he expect to keep the fancy toys that keep him on the Internet? I’m surprised nobody has relieved him of his toys already. Oh, there is the fact that he’s NEVER more than fifteen feet from them….

  2. You would think that Cabin Boy ‘s good friend wouldn’t appreciate Cabin Boy picking up themes that remind their tiny audience of The Dread Pedo’s infamy.

  3. This person, Bill Schmalfeldt, has been hit with 12 restraining orders, including one to protect a toddler. He makes and sells recordings of skits dealing with the sexual abuse of Cub Scouts. He calls this “comedy.”

    • No, DUMBF*CK, it’s because your serial bomber friend is a pedophile. I think we’ll all blow a credulity gasket if you manage (for the first time in history) to sell enough of your “comedy” to generate reportable income.

  4. Only a fool would sue a man he claims has no money.

    • Awfully rich coming from a broke, government teat-sucking douchebag who is 0-for-7 (currently) in court, and has had upwards of a dozen restraining orders against him. But do, please, Schmalballz, go on and tell us how you didn’t waste your life and money pursuing legal actions for butthurt and PLM.

      Why is it that Dumbfuck leftists always accuse their enemies of things the leftists are actually doing? Asking for a friend…

    • Yep. You sued on something your cousin said about you being a rapist. You dismissed with prejudice. That means that you are an adjudicated rapist, fatass.

      Truth is an absolute defense, perv.

      Go play in traffic, stolen valor asshole.

      • Voluntary dismissal with prejudice = adjudication on the merits = Dumbfuck admitted whatever Cousin Roy said about him is true.

        Yes, it bears repeating. Yes, Dumbfuck needs it spelled out for him. No, it will not matter to Dumbfuck.

  5. http://archive.is/0cUGc
    “How do I put this delicately?
    …immediately noticed I was “filling up my diaper.”
    There was no urge. There was no “need to go.” I just stood up, walked to the door, bent over to put a chain around a dog’s neck, opened the door, and…
    Pooped ’em… just a bit before my Parkinson’s addled brain realized the horror that was being perpetrated in my underwear and snapped everything shut.”

  6. So sad. Doesn’t even remember including the dialogue in one of his failed lawsuits.

    • It’s not just that he included the lyrics in one of his federal LOLsuits, but back when they were Maryland state cases, he included a defense where he described, in loving (and nauseating) detail precisely why the were (probably) not porn. Those descriptions were creepier than the “skit” themselves.

      Oh, and DumbF5ck is still too stupid to realize, when he referred to them as Boy Scouts, he specified ages which put them in the Cub Scout category. Yeah, that last sentence could have ended sooner.

    • “The best way to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt is to quote Bill Schmalfeldt.”- R. S. McCain

      Truer words were never typed on the Internet.

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