Blogsmoke


SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3

SOUND: Footsteps coming down hall and into room.

BRAIN: Good afternoon, Sheriff.

JOHN: Hello, Brain. I’m going to guess that there’s a fresh pot of coffee if you’re taking a break.

BRAIN: Yes. Blue Mountain.

SOUND: Coffee poured. Foot steps. Chair pulled out.

JOHN: Mmmmm. At least we have decent coffee around here.

BRAIN: It was kind of disappointing the way that case with The Bomber and The Grouch turned out.

JOHN: In some ways. In others, maybe not.

BRAIN: How’s that?

JOHN: Of course, it’s always nice to win, but sometimes a loss can set the stage for a bigger win.

BRAIN: You mean when the other guy’s win is a Pyrrhic victory?

JOHN: Or when someone loses in a lower court but winds up with a bigger win as a result of an appeal. There could be a bit of both in that case.

BRAIN: So what makes the case a Pyrrhic victory for The Bomber or The Grouch?

JOHN: It was the second case in which the finders of fact, the jury in the first case and the judge this time, found that The Bomber had lied. That can’t be helpful for him, …

BRAIN: No, it can’t.

JOHN: … and the judge found that the contract that The Grouch breached was a valid contract and that he did breach it.

BRAIN: Yeah, but the judge didn’t award damages.

JOHN: I think he was unfamiliar with some of the aspects of how damages are determined in cases related to intellectual property. I’ve asked him to reconsider the verdict in the light of some case law. If the verdict isn’t amended, I have other options.

BRAIN: An appeal?

JOHN: (Fading out) The obvious option is an appeal, but …

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4

ANNOUNCER: Hats are cool, and the Team Lickspittle Trucker Hat is very cool. It’s just one of the interesting things you can spend your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, spend some money, and support Team Lickspittle. You can also support us by hitting the Tip Jar or by doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home Page.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5

JOHN: (Fading in …) … and the ruling probably gives me standing to file that sort of case. I’ve got a lawyer working on it already.

BRAIN: Wow. There’re more layers to this that I imagined.

JOHN: Hey, I’m not the one would said that lawsuits would last for a lifetime. I’m just following up on the details of something someone else started.

SOUND: Footsteps coming down hall and into room.

SMITH: Howdy, Sheriff, Brain.

JOHN: Hi, Liz.

BRAIN: Grab a cup of coffee. It’s fresh.

SMITH: It smells good, but I came down to get a Coke.

SOUND: Coins fed into vending machine. Button pressed. Drink delivered.

SMITH: Mind if I join you?

BRAIN: Please do.

SOUND: Chair pulled out. Can pop top opened.

BRAIN: The Sheriff was just going over some of his options in the case against The Bomber and The Grouch.

SMITH: Uh, huh. Joe and I are glad that they been kept busy and off our radar.

JOHN: That may be changing. Depending on what happens in the next few weeks, we may have to open another investigation.

SMITH: Oh?

JOHN: (Fading out) As I was telling The Brain, one of the options …

MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Even with a good imagination, we can’t come up with stories as strange as The Bomber and his buddies provide for episodes of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT

ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign,” and join us again every Friday at 6 for alternating episodes “BLOGSMOKE” and “Blognet.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

8 thoughts on “Blogsmoke

  1. It seems that a Twitter Tantrum is ongoing…

    What’s the matter, Fatboy? Me. Nettles wasn’t just convinced to drop Team Free Speech (NOT referring to your unoriginal idea stealing arse… OR your inflated insignificant other) and worship the ground you walk on due to your awesome GS-Umptygazillion prose?

    What’s that?

    He very professionally told you to pound sand?

    AS I HAD FORSEEN?

    And it’s not even my birthday…

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  2. Ya know, someone needs to do something about the director who keeps playing ads over the important parts. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was intentional.

  3. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 09.08.17 : The Other McCain

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