143 thoughts on “Vonlu’

    • it’s easy to forget, out here in the cheap seats, that there was a lot more at issue today than just Bill’s shenanigans.

      • Billy has always been the sideshow. Prior to Kimberlin, he had been ineffectually annoying people and threatening lawsuits for years. Kimberlin saw fit to weaponize the moron, probably in an attempt to distract and throw off John, Aaron, and others. What he didn’t realize is that the galluping goofus served to be an entertaining target of PLM that kept people glued to the more important story going on with an unrepentant bomber, possible murderer, and unable to prove he’s not a pedophile, Brett Kimberlin.

        • “unable to prove he’s not a pedophile, Brett Kimberlin” that name has such a great ring to it. I could hear it over and over and over and . . .

      • True, but if I were the judge and seeing his flagrant disregard for the court, if I had even a whif he was in MD I would be issuing a bench warrant. It takes 5 minutes then on to other matters.

        If Mr fakinsons was indeed in maryland, I’m sure the trail of fear pee is already in another state.

  1. I predict that by December 31st of this year “Cabin Boy™ failed” will be the most commonly spoken phrase in the English speaking world, replacing even “The president said what?”

  2. So, no bench warrant then. Figured if he wanted a shot at getting Mr fakinsons to appear he should have struck while the iron was hot.

    It must have brutal the way his most excellent friend threw him under the bus.

    • As a proper noun [a name], shouldn’t “the fat potatoheaded freak”be rendered as “The Fat Potatoheaded Freak”? I’m asking for a Grammar Nazi friend.

      • A Grammer Nazi would call it “der GrosseKartoffelKopfFreak”

        An American Nazi from the deep south would say “Hold my beer* I got this.”

        * Beer being Nazi for Bud Light, Miller Light, Keystone Ice or similar. Any resemblance to actual beer is running about 4 hours late.

  3. By “failure” did he mean the non-appearance or the defendant himself? It works either way, I’m just wondering.

  4. “Hold your fire until you see their bayonets sticking out of your heart.”

    Great strategy.

  5. I (along with half of Team Free Speech) had The Johnnie Walker Red Baron as a No Show. What I need to know, to salvage a small portion of the Lunch Room pool is,
    1. Did the Fail Whale attempt to Skype into the court?
    2. Was there any contact with the court saying why he was not going to show?
    Oh, and last time I checked, I was the only one with “Re-Branding before the 25th.”
    Waiting with bated breath…

  6. If you take the time and effort to go to a hearing for a restraining order that you aren’t required to attend, why the hell would you not show up for an actual trial WITH a show cause hearing you skipped on earlier?

    This makes no sense at all.

    • Think of the dumbest way to handle a situation, the dumbest way you can imagine.

      Schmalfeldt will do something dumber.

      1) showed up in NC despite whining about his “condition”, showing he CAN travel and CAN attend court
      2) utterly failed to follow court rules about accommodations for the disabled
      3) violated court rules about recording proceedings
      4) published the illegal recordings
      5) ignored a court order to appear

      He’ll find something dumber to do. Just wait.

      • Don’t forget, in this same case where he’s suddenly virtually bedridden he’s also complained to the judge that his car (which he moved/drove interstate more than once) was vandalized.

        Even within this case he’s a walking contradiction. Heck, what about that licence he provided – without even needing to – after having told Hoge in discovery he couldn’t provide it.

    • Not wanting to be picky, but since I’ve only been following his antics for 4+ years or so, does anyone have an example of any of his court-related behaviors or actions, or even other his behaviors and actions in other areas, that made much sense? I mean, even going to NC for that hearing the way he did made no sense.

      • It makes perfect sense if you understand that Drunkenstein’s entire life is based on convincing himself of things that are profoundly silly.

        Dipshit thought that he was going to win in Greensboro, vanquish Ash, and probably turn her against the remaining defendants in Florence.

        Instead he got humiliated and a purported case of the owies. Everybody knew that was going to happen but a DUMBFUCK.

        I hope that answers your question.

        • I thought his life was based on his believing he is better than other people which is why he can’t keep a job etc. They’re jealous of his superior intellect which is why woman dont want him around (Gail doesn’t count because he even said she was an emotionally damaged when he banged her that 1st night), his children don’t want anything to do with him; and his employers usually kick him out as quickly as possible. Even free blog sites toss his fat ass.

          • Like I said, Drunkenstein’s entire life is based on convincing himself of things that are profoundly silly.

    • Yeah, I had to look that one up online as well.

      When this is all over, I wonder if our gracious host would be interested in attending a convention? DragonCon is quite noisy and crowded, but it’s got something for everyone.

      Hell, Alton Brown’s doing a Good Eats panel this year at the convention. There’s something you don’t see every day.

  7. BTW, if the rules for plaintiffs and defendants are anything like they are for jurors, then based on my jury duty it’s quite probable that Mr. Hoge isn’t permitted to say anything directly about the trial until after it’s concluded.

    • They’re not. Parties can talk all they like, but it generally isn’t prudent. For instance, publishing a picture of the judge and then ragging on him would be an exceedingly stupid thing for a party to do.

  8. Rumor has it that every request for admissions that BS played games with was deemed admitted. That’s just a rumor, I haven’t spoken to the Christmas Eve clerk yet or the Underpants Gnome.

    • Parse (I think I’ve got this right):

      Each item “William… …has admitted…” in the document linked below has been deemed an actual admission against interest by Bill. As in, Bill says “yeah, yeah, ok, I said that, I did that”

      • Let this be a lesson: Do not play about with discovery! When one receives requests for admission, answer them promptly. Produce the documents you have. It’s not going to help to respond with obscene insults, either

        Phone, train.

        • “It’s not going to help to respond with obscene insults, either” You sure about that? The world’s greatest Twitter Attorney-at-law seems to disagree.

        • You might as well just say, Don’t screw around with Court and court procedures in general. It’s a fast way to get in more trouble than you ever knew existed.

          in reference to some previous conversations we’ve had here – THIS is why you hire a lawyer. Not because the actual mechanics of the trial procedure are so hard, but because the costs of a mistake are so incredibly high.

          Lawyers can cost a lot. Not hiring a lawyer can cost a whole lot more.

    • I have spoken in the mirror with someone who was in attendance today, and I can confirm that Judge Hecker did indeed rule, according to the very same Maryland Rules that Hecker told DUMBFUCK to read and understand, that any interrogatory not answered in a timely manner is deemed ADMITTED.

      Fucked, is what Schmalfeldt is. Well and truly.

      Ha Ha Ha.

      That dry powder will come in handy…

  9. Fakinsons playbook relies on the following:

    1) he has a case in SC and is going to win
    2) he is “judgement proof” in the MD suit (and hence doesn’t care if the pedo throws him under the bus.. Hell I’ll put money on the pedo actually convincing him that’s a good strategy!)
    3) He has an ADA case so he can get out of contempt (and appeal)

    Boy is that sand packed vagina in for a lulzy surprise on all counts!

    • I wish his Downfall would be captured on video and turned into a YouTube meme, just like Hitler’s. Because when reality bitchslaps Shakey, it’s going to be epic.

    • Actually, he does NOT have an ADA case, simply because he did not bother, at any time between the filing of Hoge’s complaint and today, the start of the trial, to do anything that was required in order to have accommodations for his so-called “disability” granted, beyond whining that he suffers from Parkinson’s and should not have to do a damn thing he didn’t want to.

  10. How much more dense does he have to become before he collapses into a black hole? Wouldn’t it be prudent to fire him into space on a path that leaves the solar system before that happens?

    • Didn’t you hear?

      He’s bringing down the thunder
      He’s bringing up the hellfire
      He’s loading the bomb on the enola gay
      He’s heading for Hiroshima
      You won’t know when
      You won’t know where
      You won’t know who
      But you will know why
      HE’LL SEE YOU IN COURT!!!

      Baaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahabahabab

    • According to Chandrasekhar,
      A fully degenerate star,
      Continues to glimmer,
      Forever dimmer,
      Disdaining what’s brusque and bizarre.

      But a star that has greater than one,
      And four-tenths the mass of the sun,
      Folds space in around it,
      (Which is why no one’s found it)
      With nuclear fusion all done.

      Fortunately for us, the huge one doesn’t quite make it, so all he has in his future is a warm brown mass of degenerate matter.

      • Have you heard about the American/Russian joint engine venture? The Russians had an engine design based on engineering technology that all American expert had said “That is just too f’in’ crazy; it will never work”. But work it did – until the Russians ran out of money – and out of manufacturing quality control. Then some Americans came up with the money and the manufacturing quality control, and booster technology is moving into a whole new realm of thrust to weight ratio, and thus of dollars per pound in orbit. Russian engines bolted to the bottoms of tried and true American spacecraft booster airframes.

      • I’m OK with shipping and not launcing, but the Russians are raising treaty questions.

        Never heard the term “Witless of Mass DumbF5cktion” before. That’s really weird in Russian.

      • There was a team I heard about that reverse engineered the F-1 engines used in the Saturn 5, partcount reduced and 3d printed, which I believe is part of NASA’s SLS program, with a goal of being able to lift north of 100 metric tons into orbit. It’d only need 4 trips to get a 747 into orbit. Though what you’d do with a disassembled orbiting 747 is anyone’s guess.

  11. One pie from Baugher’s (Meringue, Custard or any fruit) says that (1) Billy will show tomorrow or Wednesday (2) will attempt to rescue his case, and (3) will get a psych referral.

  12. When the ADA suit pays off, Judge H AND the State of Maryland will hand over more than enough quatloos that Bill can live a life of comfortable leisure with this years soulmate.

    Travel, yes- All across this great country he has served so ably and loves so much (except all them jerks who voted for Trump)… The condo in Hawaii next to where Brett is staying… Yes. A little golf? Maybe. Depends on how or if the Fakinsons is acting up on any given day. But them little drinks with the umbrellas in ’em, for sure- Several. If you know what I mean.

    A new Macintosh? Yep. Current one is getting more and more uppity.

    Donate to the Democrat party? Well, assumes that Fauxcahontas and Kamala Harris run as Democrats (vs. running as the full-blown Socialists that they are (BE PROUD!); can’t be too sure that Debbie Wasserman Schultz won’t find a way to pull Her-self out of the geosynch orbit over DC to run AGAIN). But sure. And you know- IF you donate ENOUGH money you can become a mover and shaker in the party. That’ll show Kos.

    UNSS Che Guevara needs a new warp core. Shipyards are expensive but what the hell.

    What to do with Hoge? Could pay him off and ensure he just goes away.

    Or. OR…

    Pay for a crack legal team to put him down once and for all. What was the name of that firm on LA Law? Matlock available? How about Caffey? He’s out of the Navy by now, right? Just think of the subpoenas! All the Lickspittles and Zombies UNMASKED!!!

    An ankle bracelet for the Zombie Mistress. Will never have to pursue her for a address again. Ever.

    And finally, a squadron of Vampire Hunters to run Krendler down. Two squadrons! The other to go after Cousin Roy.

    Oh yeah. ‘Dis gonna’ be good.

    So good that Bill will spring for the more expensive $5 cigar tonight.

  13. The one thing I’m still curious about….

    How fast did it go from:

    “Your honor, I would like to read this letter from Bill–”

    To:

    “Objection.”

    “Sustained.”

    Inquiring minds want to know!

    I think it would be even funnier if Brett didn’t even bother bringing up the letter at all. Not that that’s what he’d tell Biwwy, of course. “Oh, we tried to enter it into evidence, but the judge said he hated fat cows with the shakes. You should sue him.”

    • That assumes BK actually tried. I imagine the conversation between the defendants went something like:

      BS: “Brett, will you pleeeeeeeze give this to the judge?”
      BK: “Sure, Bill. Suuuuure. You betcha. Absolutely. Without fail.”
      BS: “We’re gonna be rich, huh boss?”
      BK: [sotto voce] What a maroon.

  14. Newsflash, BillyBoy – The “If I can actually win this” strategy was all you, and only after you bragged for weeks that you would beat HOOOOGGGE!
    Just take a peak at your life … You drove Gail to her grave, making her slave over your fat ass. She actually seemed like a nice lady, unlike that he/she cow you’re shacking up with. Your kids think you’re scum. You’ll die poor with the reputation of a stalker who needs restraining orders in several states. The Internet is forever.

    Mock Hoge & his blog followers all you want. It’s all you have. If you really wanted to be left alone, you would have walked away long ago. This sick fascination you have, the craving you have for the drama – that’s the definition of sociopath, fat ass.

    Congrats. If you set out in life to be a totally fucked up failure, you’ve succeeded.

  15. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 08.21.17 : The Other McCain

  16. Long ago I had a friend named Madeline; Billy reminds me a lot of her. She was as smart as Billy is stupid, but the have the same trust of the wrong people, the same alcoholism, and the same “I don’t have to follow the rules”attitude, all of which got them in trouble. Madeline came to a bad end, and I expect Billy will as well.

    • In the ways that count for most of us he’s already come to a bad end. I’ve been poor and I can handle that, but to have no loving family at all . . .

      • Yes, his life is pretty miserable. I read some of the comments on one of his kos posts, and people gave him credit for his work on the left… But he had to spit on them anyway. So outside this nonsense he’s got very little of anything.

        And he’s doing his best to get rid of even that.

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