Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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There are show cause hearings and a trial scheduled for today in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit beginning at 8:45 this morning in the Circuit Court for Carroll County. My ability to foresee how things will go ends at 8:45 am today. After that, the results depend on the findings made by Judge Hecker.

193 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day”


  13. Asking Sts John of Capistrano and Thomas More for intercession and to add their prayers for you and for good judgment for his honor.

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  17. Even with Justice being blind, I believe the Judge should be able see through the piles of jetsam claimed as discovery supplied by those who should be taking a toothbrush to this courthouse.

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  27. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
    but the way of the wicked leads to destruction

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  28. Finally, old DUMBF*CK is gonna give that mean old judge a lesson on the law and on basic human decency.

    Try not to laugh out loud, John.

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  32. Good luck today John. And may there be no cause for use to say “But Maryland” and justice is finally done.

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  37. Almighty God, who sittest in the throne judging right: We humbly beseech thee to bless the courts of justice and the magistrates in all this land and especially Judge Hecker; and give unto them the spirit of wisdom and understanding, that they may discern the truth, and impartially administer the law in the fear of thee alone; through him who shall come to be our Judge, thy Son our Savior Jesus Christ.
    Amen.

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  44. You know, it says something when someone who is most assuredly not seeking to be a public figure gets 50+ unrelated folks to show up on the Internet and wish him well while the guy who has been trying mightily to gain a following on the ‘net for somewhere close to 10 years hears from absolutely nobody. The war of ideas is over. The Oaf lost.

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  45. It is confirmed from teh horse’s keyboard put on your shields and go to BU!

    After nearly two years of harassing motions and attempts to get a Carroll County, Maryland, Judge to see what’s actually motivating Hoge’s actions, the TRIAL OF THE CENTURY (in WJJ Hoge III’s mind) begins today. Of course, victory is assured as far as Hoge and his readers are concerned, and given the way this Judge has ruled in the past I can understand his reason for hubris.

    I, of course, am not there. My co-defendant, Brett Kimberlin, will attempt to read this statement of mine into the record. I doubt the judge will allow it. But here it is, for posterity.

    DEFENDANT SCHMALFELDT’S WRITTEN TESTIMONY IN LIEU OF PERSONAL APPEARANCE

    With all due respect, this defendant will depart from the traditional third-person writing scheme for this testimony, but will instead address this Court directly and personally. I thank my friend and co-defendant Brett Kimberlin for at least attempting to enter this into the record, and in the event that he is prevented from reading this in Court, I ask leave that this statement be entered into the official record in this case. A copy is hereby provided to the Court and to the Plaintiff.

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    • So he admits to 2 years of harassing motions?

      Unbelievable. He really is that stupid. I guess his defeat at the hands of a “dim girl” has shaken his confidence to the core.

      All those years of promises of DOOM!!! ELEVENTY! upon his enemies when he finally gets the chance to humiliate them in court…and he hikes his skirt and hides under the porch. Bill. You are now and for all times. Officially. A. Loser.

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    • HA HA! NO SHOW!!!!

      Of course the odds were pretty close to even on that one, so no big payoff for those of us who put our markers down on it.

      p.s. BK is not a lawyer, even though you think he is. BK does not have the right to represent you, fathead. And you can’t give him that right.

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      • In lieu of a defense, or showing up, or learning the rules, or facing up to the fact that I recorded a previous hearing, threatened the court with a lawsuit under the ADA…allow me to write this court a letter. Please let my non-lawyer and felonious co-defendant read into the record.
        Speaking of record…

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        • Thank God for medical marijuana. If I hadn’t been filling myself up with it for the last three weeks, my lulz muscles would have been destroyed this morning and I’d need ADA accommodations, which would be mighty awkward on account of my being Canadian, and all.

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          • What I’m really looking forward to is when he attempts to file a pro-se lawsuit against Judge Hecker personally, for having the temerity to rule against him.


          • My question is if you handed a document to someone with convictions related to document forgery and he even selectively edited law itself to fit his needs despite the ease with which the court has access to actual law, why would you think that if the document reached the Court’s hands, that it would actually be the same one you gave him?


    • Every time I think Dumbfuck can’t get any stupider, he goes out and proves me wrong…again…and again…and again….and again…

      Never gets old, I must say.

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      • and right after that, the whole section of “am I less of a citizen…?”

        I know it gets old, but its always astounding when he puts his idiocy on total display like this. Any citizen has to obey a COURT ORDER. Court’s make orders every day that people don’t like. Court’s take away or otherwise restrict people’s rights every day. (what did you think jails were for?)

        And when you ignore the Court, and start going off like a 4 year old saying “You’re not the boss of me!!!” Courts have this little tool called “CONTEMPT OF COURT” just to show you that yes, they ARE the boss of you.

        I think BIlly is going to get a real good firsthand lesson in how all that works startin today.

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      • He’s misrepresenting the ADA greatly. A person with a disability for example who fails a test can’t claim ADA at the last minute to override that failing score. Arrangements have to be made ahead of time. There’s absolutely no indication that Dumbfuck filed that Maryland Court ADA request form which was posted publicly for everyone to see. All I see is Dumbfuck’s just invoking it on the spot which is not legally possible. A number of CFR’s requires that requests must be made from at least 30 days before a start of an event.

        Feel free to file a complaint, Dumbfuck. You’re not going to like the result.

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    • How in the world can you verify the fail wailer actually wrote this, and it isn’t just BK posting to BU to throw the wailer under the bus? Asking for a resting, er, nesting doll, pining for the fjords of Ukraine.

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  46. Dumbf5ck done f5cked it up again. ROFL!!! I hope this time there is FINALLY jail for the f5cktarded manatee. Please, please, please. The whiny self-righteous twit won’t last 10 seconds.

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  48. The beauty is that Biwwy doesn’t realize how badly he screwed up here. And not just in this particular case (where he will be holding the bag for everything Brett wants to push off on him to protect his own ass).

    Because he can’t stop F5ing, I know Schmallballz is reading this. I’m going to leave it as a surprise how else this is going to affect you, your [redacted], your [redacted], and your ability to [redacted].

    In other words, Biwwy: .!..

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  49. oh gawd that is hilarious to read that long screechy whine-fest on his website, about how he was guaranteed to win at trial, and listing all of his “evidence”.

    Guess what, Fathead? TODAY is the TRIAL. And NONE of all of your butthurt is admissible because YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP and YOU DIDN’T EVEN HIRE A LAWYER!!!

    The Judge is NOT going to read your crap, and he is not going to let any else read your crap in court, and he is NOT going to allow it to be placed in the record. (Meaning no appeal based on anything you have said is going to be allowed) You want to know why??? BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP!!!!

    LOLOLOL!!!!!

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  51. The only thing team free speech has to decide would.be this:

    Will letting it be admitted hurt the Parkinson’s FAKING scumbag more than not being admitted?

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    • I don’t think this is something TFS gets to decide. It’s clearly not permitted under the rules that Biwwy never bothered to acquaint himself with, so the judge has no option but to not allow it to be admitted.

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      • A shame really. There is so much evidence to destroy the feeble amount of credibility he attempted to create it would have been fun to see the aftermath.

        Meanwhile Mr. Fakinsons, if you thought it would be “painful” to attend, wait and see what a bench warrant feels like.

        Hoping and praying “because Maryland” is suspended.

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    • It cannot be admitted as evidence against John because Bill is not available to be cross examined. However… Being admitted as admission against interest? Possibly.

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  52. We are going to need an edit. I suggest “You clever boys had me pegged. I am just so stupid that I’m going to fail to follow court rules and refuse to show up in the courtroom and totally fuck myself over.” Or maybe a nice homily about what a pathetic coward he is.

    http://i.imgur.com/5tTnYaO.png

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    • you could simply add “not even” before “going to stumble” and it works. For added clarity, adding “still” after “and” works too. In other words: “I am just so stupid [unnecessary comma from the GS-13] that I am not even going to stumble into the courtroom and still totally fuck myself over.”

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    • D4runkenstin has a point. He can’t stumble into court and fuck himself over if he doesn’t come out of his porch.

      What he doesn’t understand that he’s fucked himself over in innumerable other ways.

      1. I generally agree that this stunt very probably torched his South Carolina lulzsuit on two grounds; frivolity and vexatious litigation. If a DUMBFUCK can’t sit around in a courtroom all day, he has no business filing lulzsuits that he has no intention of participating in. This is compounded by the fact that Oliver Wendell Jones, to the best of my knowledge, still hasn’t filed an ADA accommodation request with the federal court, months after filing.

      2. Then there’s the very strong probability that a bench warrant will be issued for failing to appear. Twice.

      3. Schmaleldt likely can’t successfully sue under the ADA because if he didn’t show up, he didn’t suffer any harm.

      4. The Yokohoma Casanova intends to appeal a judgement when he didn’t participate in the trial.

      And there’s probably much, much more.

      When betting on what Bill Schmaleldt is going to do in a given situation, always go with the dumbest, most self-destructive option available. It’s almost like printing money.

      Speaking of printing money, you good people better get to that. I won the bet!

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  55. He sued in Federal court in South Carolina. This was a very bad move.
    He failed to show up for his contempt hearing in Maryland. This was a very bad move.

    To summarize, he did two things, each of which, separately, was a very bad move.

    What is not yet full appreciated is that doing both of these things was a thermonuclear bad move.

    How this is so, will, I believe, soon become apparent.

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  56. Thanks John “Minemyown” Doe for the safe link!

    This thing would take WAY TOO LONG to Fisk properly but preliminary analysis indicates DumbF5cks document contains:

    – Picture of the Judge; a semi-doxx?
    – Education on ‘Parkinsons for Dummies’
    – ‘Hoge lies…’
    – Hypertechnical(ities)
    – Admissions against interest
    – Pleas for sympathy
    – Defense
    – Advance notice that the Kimber-daughter will sue when she turns 18
    – Psychopathy
    – Copyright and Twitter TOS
    – Emotional appeals regarding the nature of citizenship
    – ADA, ADA and ADA
    – And in a final flourish of stupidity, a threat to sue the Judge personally. And the state.

    As you read this thing you should be hearing music in the background:

    – Dixie (yeah, THAT’S RACIST)
    – Battle Hymn of the Republic
    – 1812 Overture
    – Darth Vaders March

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        • This is an analysis without all the facts, caveat emptor.

          This much I have gleaned from comments above:

          —Bill has left S C, announcing his intent to be in court.

          —Bill was seen (or thought to have been seen) in Maryland.

          —Bill’s “good friend” in Maryland came into possession of a document “from Bill”.

          —In that document, Bill throws himself under the bus to help his friend’s case.

          —That document, in one outburst of bile, reveals inside knowledge of the friend’s ligation strategy.

          —The document was published online, using Bill’s account, a few minutes before a reduced Team Shutuppery assembled in the courtroom.

          —There has been no further tweets from Bill while the other Team Shutuppery members have been present in the courtroom.

          Now I admit, there may be small omissions in the above. Especially, if there is unreported knowledge contradicting the final point, the entire picture changes.

          However, if the above is accurate and complete, the picture it paints is somewhat ominous.

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        • crawford: thanks for the clarification.

          To misquote Goldwater, “Chain-yanking in the cause of rattling Team Shutuppery is no vice.”

          That leaves Heisenberg knowing Bill’s momentum with a high degree of certainty.

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      • It’s an unflattering picture taken from an odd angle, doesn’t look posed.

        So I’m betting “yes” on your question, and also “yes” on the question, “Could Bill possibly do anything more to cause this Judge Hecker to find him in contempt?”

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          • Well, pissing on the 1st Sergeant’s desk is supposed to be the fastest way to get out of the Army.

            Maybe there’s a parallel here.


        • Keep in mind that Shaky doesn’t expect anything that he’s actually said online in blogs or on Twitter to actually make it before the judge

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          • Maybe not, but you know who’ll see all of a DUMBFUCK’s antics today? South Carolina landlords. Schmaleldt keeps telling everyone that’ll listen that they can’t stop reading about him.

            Now, I’m hardly a business genius, but I’m pretty sure that ignoring two court summonses, effectively telling a judge to go fuck himself and then threatening to sue him probably isn’t the ideal way to convince landlords that you’re going to be a quiet, reliable tenant.

            Could I be wrong about that? Sure. Stranger things have happened.


    • you and everyone else it seems.

      mainly cause no person with functional cognitive abilities would insist that a court ignore the legal rules of civil litigation simply because that person demands it.

      IF Bill had bothered to look up and learn the rules, as the judge admonished him to MONTHS AGO, he’d know that he was always required to physically appear OR have representation appear on his behalf for the trial, other accomodations made earlier not withstading.

      IF Bill had bothered to look up and learn the rules, he’d have known that blowing off discover (as he did) allows for the plaintiff to insist his allegations to be deemed as admitted AND by blowing off document production (as he did), he severely limits his own ability to introduce evidence for his own defense.

      INSTEAD, Bill decided to blow off his responsibilities, ignore civil procedure and double down on insulting the court.
      Demanding the court to ignore it’s own rules in civil procedures in order accomodate you while you ignore/insult them is not a wise legal move.

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  58. I am in awe of so much stupid in one document – a document that is only being read by a group looking for the entertainment value, as I guarantee no court will ever see it. IANAL, and even I know this is one of the dumbest things BillyBoy has ever done.

    I am getting a sprained neck from the back and forth volley of “I’ll reign over HOOOOGGGE!!!” and “I never thought I could win, and if I actually beat Hoge, it will be defying the odds”.

    The consistent worsening of PD when tracked with court cases would be a fascinating little graph to see. As for the “muscle wasting”, how interesting it has begun with startling speed only 4 months ago! Hint: That ain’t how it works, DF. If funds were irrelevant, hiring a medical professional to outline the stupidity of DF’s improving and then declining PD symptoms would make for an interesting read!

    As for the condemnation of lickspittles outlined in that unfortunate essay DF thinks can be admitted to court, he has only surpassed my expectations of stupidity, and those expectations were lofty to begin with.

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  59. Bill is not even phoning it in. He think h can have Brett submit a document for him. Brett is not his lawyer so, no, he can’t.

    Heavens, that was one whiny screed he posted. There’s just one word for it: Billshit.

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      • If this was going to a jury, I would agree,

        However, this is a bench trial.

        In which case, it could be that his honor has decided to take the trouble of writing a detailed decision that is so airtight that not even the Archangel Michael could appeal it.

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          • Which makes me wonder – does not showing up for a civil trial count as contempt? Because that would be 4. Getting a non-lawyer to try to read a letter can’t help either, nor can putting that on the internet, nor would putting the judge’s face above it.

            Well, he’s certainly done his best to get thrown in jail on this one. We’ll see.


  62. I wonder if Bill has considered trying to invoke marital privilege too. Brett has done things to him that Biblically only apply to marriage, after all….

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    • I hear tell most married women make husbands sleep on davenports or go to their mother’s house, or both, for the mere hint of a suggestion of an intimation of the possibility of… while the diminutive Pedoketeer went straight to the act itself.

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    • Could be.

      Something I’ve mused on: declaring someone a vexatious litigant is a fairly strong limitation of their rights (specifically, access to the courts). So it’s not the sort of thing that should be done from the hip; there needs to be a clear and consistent pattern laid out before the judge, with the opportunity given for the accused in question to defend themselves. Due process, natch.

      Of course, Bill being Bill, he managed to shit the bed (in a legal sense) AGAIN.

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  65. 1st contempt, failure to answer discovery
    2nd contempt, failure to abide by courts orders against taping proceedings
    3rd contempt, failure to appear on first two contempt charges
    4th contempt, failure to appear for hearing on contempt charges 1,2 and now 4
    5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th contempt potential charges:
    number 5, failure to abide by judges orders on service, impertinent material
    number 6, disrespecting the courts authority
    number 7, threatening a presiding judge
    number 8, using a non attorney to serve papers in a court of law

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