Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Cabin Boy™ didn’t file a timely motion in limine in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit, but he did file an opposition to mine—

The Rules require that all paper filings to be considered before a trial must be submitted to the Clerk of the Court not later than close of business on the court’s second business day before a trial. That window closed yesterday afternoon in Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. The docket files will be sent to Judge Hecker’s chambers first thing this morning.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

126 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. If xers girlfriend/fiance can’t proofread Schmalfeldts’ work for simple grammatical errors what good is xe?

    Keep it clean-

  2. Doesn’t read like it was written by BS but it certainly is the other kind of BS.

    That spider line in particular is much more in line with BK prose.

    • That was my impression. Very BK, and he always overdoes the forgeries… extra grammatical,errors thrown in for diminished capacity effect.

        • I shall depart from the shakey pier of WAG and venture into the uncharted territory of speculation…
          The monkey wrote this, to put in a few licks that, on afterthought (and upon reading comments at Hogewash) seemed to him to be yet lacking.

          The monkey’s inner demons could not resist attesting their presence, thus the Freudian slip about his deranged mind.

          The motion in limine for the manatee, to exclude such things as would, by their admission, weaken the manatee’s defense, was to be delivered to the court in a timely fashion by monkeymail, yet somehow a deadline was missed. (The lemonade would have failed anyhow, but a particular party is being very particular that if at all possible, all blame will be shifted to the patsy.)

          Denial is only a river in Egypt; it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with [redacted]’s the refusal to believe that [redacted] is throwing him under the bus.
          Disclaimer: The above is purely speculation, which in the opinion of the author represents only one of many possible explanations for the travesty recently submitted to the court.

    • That combination of snarl and whine, you mean? Plus cliched metaphors and similes? Maybe. Or maybe there was some copypasta being consumed.

      Home, laptop.

      How the hell does one mis-deliver a refrigerator?

  3. His Twitter postings of the exact same events he mentions in this motion contradict themselves. The fabulous and brilliant William S. Schmalfeldt, Twitter Attorney at Law loves to proclaim Hoge’s “mistakes” in Twitter Court. However, when dealing with an actual court the brilliant pro se Schmalfeldt becomes a victim who has suffered at the hand of the brilliantly evil Mr Hoge for decades. His Parkinson’s Disease has taken over his life, as he can no longer defend himself in court against the evil Space Scientist. I love the contradictions!!!!!

  4. Bill, Bill, Bill… you don’t have to actually label yourself pro se in every filing. One reading of any of your filings would make that patently obvious.

  5. If I didn’t know the shit dumb fuck has done I could see myself feeling sorry for him. Having read this pleading I imagine a mentally handicap man standing on train tracks while a train racing down towards him. All the while yelling at the train to change course because it’s not fair for it to drive on the tracks.

  6. bill you have not submitted any evidence that you have Parkinson’s hearsay does not court. It is not the responsibly of the Plaintiff to tell the defendant when he is getting late for filing motions, if fact YOU know this because all you could talk about in your Wisconsin law suit was the defendants were gonna default if they did not file in time.

    • It would be really interesting if this pleading were to find it’s way into the hands of a certain magistrate in South Carolina. DUMBF*CK goes to great lengths to describe how incompetent he is to manage a lawsuit.

  7. That was ….. Hilarious.

    He really has no clue what is going on. That responsive to nothing in Hoge’s motion, absolutely nothing. And he can’t figure out why he admitted the elements of the counts.

  8. “…didn’t file a timely…”
    “…That window closed…”

    Is our gentle host saying that there was a temporal oopsie by his largest opponent?

    If I wasn’t obligated elsewhere I would want to swing by the courthouse again and inquire.
    I am most curious.

    I fear that the lemonade may not be the only thing that is discovered to be late next week.

  9. “The defendants in this case are not attorneys are are doing their best to keep up with this flurry of motions…”
    “This is another attempt by Hoge to use technicalities he knows from his dealings with his best friend, a practicing attorney.”

    For the first bid, that’s why lawyers exist. God didn’t create them, but if you want your facts represented in a way that compels a judge, they’re extremely helpful. Apparently even if they’re merely serving as a “friend.”

    For the second, he’s in the past disparaged Aaron in any number of ways, and now he claims that a few tips as a friend has turned his adversary into T-1000 Ace Attorney.

    • I have no idea if Aaron is helping John Hoge. I know Bill Schmalfeldt is not helping Bill Schmalfeldt.

      And for the umpteenth time, Parkinson’s cannot be diagnosed with a single doctor visit, and the judge will know this. If you want evidence of something like a “disability,” there is an actual process and definition. At minimum, a doctor will need to address the court. And no MD will write a letter without being sure of the diagnosis. And no, selling your car because it broke down is not a qualifying event.

      Accommodations are things which demand proof, even under ADA. Especially under ADA. He had months to get this done.

    • “The defendants in this case are not attorneys are are doing their best”…

      After my fellow Lickspittles are done with the PLM…rather odd that Biwwy is presuming to speak on behalf of ALL the defendants, as if he’s council for everyone. Or psychic and knows things.

      Or is he acknowledging that he IS in a conspiracy with them after all and they’re acting as one unit? Hmmm…wonder what he’ll say under oath on that.

      Don’t worry, Biwwy. We all know you didn’t write this line (and probably not the rest of it–although you will find yourself hoist upon it in the end anyway).

      Brett likes writing third person universal statements because Brett really does think he knows everyone’s mind. That’s a trait of psychopaths, you know. Another trait? They like letting guys like Biwwy take the fall so they can watch the bounce.

    • Even more revealing is the next statement.

      If Schmalfeldt ever wanted to cause mental distress to Hoge or anyone else, Schmalfeldt would want that person to be fully aware of who was making the statement.

      Of course, it does NOT offer an apology for causing mental distress. It’s far better to make clear who is delivering it.

      And giant mangina chicken hiding-under-the-porch Bill Schmalfeldt lies AGAIN!

      Just ask Lester Klemper, Bill Munko, Bill Matthews and Matthew Lillefieldt.

  10. “Like a spider waiting patiently for the fly to catch itself in the web, Hoge waited until after the deadline for response had passed before saying anything about it, hoping this Court would allow him to use a technicality to abuse a pro-se defendant with prove and demonstrated neurological and memory difficulties.”

    Apparently, Our Gracious Host is somehow obligated to serve as Fail Whale’s personal assistant, reminding him of his various obligations and duties and deadlines.

    Which is interesting, as Our Gracious Host is also acting pro se, as his own attorney, and such actions would be unethical, as it would be harmful to Our Gracious Host’s best interests.

    • “Your honor, opposing party did not inform me of my duties, and should be penalized!”

      this is the attitude that got Bill where he is today: unemployable, homeless, and in deep legal trouble.

    • A mental exercise:

      Imagine that in American civil courts such an obligation to inform opponents did exist.
      Following the logic, the situation becomes even more absurd than the ranting posted above.

      “I am required to inform you that the deadline for filing a fraudulent application for ADA accommodation of your nonexistent affliction is approaching….”

    • No No No…. the best part of that is NOT the whining how his lack of response is somehow Hoge’s fault. It’s the part where he impeaches the credibility of any and all testimony he’d give. “demonstrated neurological and memory difficulties”

      Every filing and word out of his mouth should now be followed up with “And as someone with demonstrated neurological and memory difficulties, how can you be sure you are remembering that correctly?”

    • Yes, the logic alone charms, doesn’t it?

      The guy who’s suing me for conspiracy and defamation and breach of contract didn’t help me!

      Laptop, home.

  11. Would not an official written opinion by a Twitter official need to have been submitted to the court already to be brought up at trial? Or is Bill going to call the person as a witness? Do not remember him or her on the witness list. Not a Lawyer so I do not know but is there a procedure for submitting legal opinions at the last minute in a civil court case in Maryland? Seems to me if you want someone to discuss the legal ramifications of the Twitter TOS, perhaps hiring a lawyer would have been a good idea. Also is Hoge’s, possible violation of Bill’s copyright, even germane to this case? Hoge is suing Bill for violations, Bill is not countersuing.

    I can see Bill having issues finding a lawyer willing to file one of his cases, but he should be able to find one to defend him. Given his mental issues and lack of legal knowledge it certainly would have benefited him to do so. I think the Judge is going to, assuming a Hoge win, award amounts towards the minimum levels for copyright violations, but that would still be more than the cost of a lawyer.

    Brett and Bill also have a perfect defenses for Defamation, I wish they would use it in court, but it is very unlikely given the egos involved.

  12. I wonder what exactly team pedo expected other than a “flurry of motions” when they promised “…lawsuits for the rest of their lives…”

    Careful what you wish for.

    I’ll still take the triple no show square, but if I lose that and Mr. Fakinsons shows up, I have the “rent a car to get to the hotel, then use public transit to the courthouse to keep up the appearance of fakinsons” square.

    Finally, I’ve never seen ANYONE disparage Gail. All I’ve seen is people chastising YOU for the way YOU treated Gail and depriving her of any dignity in her final hours and after death. Big difference, scumbag.

    • Gail has been disparaged. But she has always been disparaged in the exact manner that Bill has disparaged his enemies wives. That is, in fact, the point of it. The malignant monster accused Stranahan’s wife of being a prostitute, so Gail was called a truck stop dolly.

      Krendler is Bill Schmalfeldt’s accurate REFLECTION. Turn about is fair play to him.

  13. Looking forward to Monday afternoon.

    Hopefully “because maryland” doesnt ruin my chance to finally open this Chateau Montrose 2005 I’ve been saving.

  14. LOL. It is hugely amusing that in the first paragraph of “Bill’s” motion that it says it will address only the portion of John’s motion that deals with Bill, and then in the final paragraph asks that John’s motion be denied in full. Billogic at its finest!

    I put “Bill’s” in quotes because, despite a few typos, this motion was too grammatically correct to have been written by Bill.

  15. 1. How does the alleged pain involved in one defendant’s travel punish “all defendants”?
    2. This motion objects to a subset of plaintiff’s motion in limine. Assuming that those objections are valid, how do they justify dismissing plaintiff’s motion in full?

  16. I wonder if the DUMBFUCK now regrets his choice not to participate sincerely and fully in the discovery process.

    I await, with well-stretched LULZ muscles and much anticipation, DUMBFUCK’S brilliant efforts to shift blame for his failure to observe the rules onto Our Gracious Host or myself.

    Especially since it was all Cousin Roy’s doind.

    • No way The World’s Stupidest Man [who knows absolutely everything he needs to know] regrets anything. He just keeps getting screwed over by a system that allows Hoge, et al an unfair hypertechnical advantage.

      • Yeah, it is rather unfair that HOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!eleventy!!! is actually following the same rules that the judge told the Fail Whale to get acquainted with and which has been public knowledge and all anyone has to do is be literate to understand them. I mean, who could possibly except a GS-13 who types all day on Twitter to be literate? That’s just so unfair. Are they going to expect Biwwy to know how to read fire exit charts at motels now too? Sheesh. Where will the madness end?

  17. I can imagine Fat Bastard going to court Monday stating that if he is innocent, God will blot out the sun and then stand there pointing at the sky, dramatically.

  18. Pingback: News Flash!! | The Artisan Craft Blog — Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey

  19. Just had an epiphany!

    If this motion was indeed written by the midget pedo (grammatical, stylistic, and the ad hominem attacks match him to a T), this is a subtlety brilliant way to add more speed to the bus under which the pedo will throw Mr Fakinsons. Fakinsons will believe that his “master” wrote this for his benefit, and will convince fakinsons that his “master” is looking out for him despite the lack of substance in the motion (along with being late). So when its crushed midget pedo can say “well I tried” and Mr fakinsons will buy it hook line and sinker.

  20. Pingback: The Mournful Wail of the Cry-Bully | BILLY SEZ – Adventures in Bill Schmalfeldt's Pretendy Land Internet Courtroom. All Rise!

  21. “Schmalfeldt intends to show the Court that Hoge approaches this Court with unclean hands…”

    A guy who rolls his own sh!t and sniffs it is complaining about unclean hands?

  22. I wonder if Johnny Atsign will be at a trial to authenticate video showing an allegedly disabled man walking easily into the local Waffle House and Cracker Barrel.

  23. Dumbfuck: Hello, is this Twitter headquarters?
    Twitter Front Desk: No this is the front desk. Who are you calling for?
    Dumbfuck: I need to talk to your CEO pronto! I got a case of defamation and I need him to assist me with his case.
    Twitter Front Desk: I can direct you to the legal department?
    Dumbfuck: No, I need to talk to the CEO!
    Twitter Front Desk: One moment please.
    Dumbfuck: Hello?
    911: Hello, we received a call from Twitter that you may be an escaped mental patient from the local hospital?
    *hangs up*

    • How ironic.
      Carroll County is the original venue of the Three Phone Calls “urban legend”.
      There is reason to believe that it stems from an actual prank back when there was still an REA agent at the Sykesville station of the B&O, and the nearby Springfield State Hospital was fully operational.

  24. “Schmalfeldt intends to show…”

    An interesting statement, a curious statement. There are numerous odd grammatical constructions, each easily explained away individually, yet taken as a whole suggesting a chilling picture, as if a third party ghostwriting the document were hinting at an outcome more sinister than the metaphorical “throwing under the bus”.

    So let us then explore the possibilities of what Monday may bring, or, more broadly, what may transpire this weekend.

    It is true that a defendant may perhaps make his ponderous appearance in the courtroom, bluster randomly as the above travesty indicates, and lose his case in a thunderous trainwreck.
    I would, personally, rate this as the least likely outcome.
    It is more likely that the “appearance” will be a Skype call from Myrtle Beach, which the court will refuse, and the dumbstruck defendant will lose gracefully, having afforded himself the evidence of judicial oppression to rant so satisfyingly about until the Circuit Court and the Sheriffs Department afford him with safe transportation to his Maryland vacation.
    (Before you say “But Maryland!”, remember that the destination is Westminster, not Baltimore.)
    Bill, this is actually your safest option.
    Most likely, sadly, is that there will be an announcement of the departure to Maryland, followed by silence.

  25. Hi bill, remember this:

    Doc No./Seq No.: 176/0
    File Date: 07/05/2017Entered Date:07/05/2017Decision:
    Document Name: Order for Sanctions for Failire to Provide Discovery: Defendant William Schmalfeldt shall be precluded from introducing into evidence at the trial any evidence which the Court determines should have been provided in response to Plaintiffs Request for Production of Documents. Copies to Hoge, Schmalfeldt, B. Kimberlin, T. Kimberlin, Osborne, Breitbart Unmasked, and Almighty Media.

  26. Doc No./Seq No.: 193/0
    File Date: 08/18/2017Entered Date:08/18/2017Decision:
    Document Name: Order of Court: Motion for Reconsideration is denied
    Copies to Hoge/Kimberlin/Kimberlin/Osborne/Schmalfeldt/Breitbart Unmasked/Almighty Media

  27. as you’re sitting there, at the defense table, with your hero pedo, don’t stare at his pants, keep your hands out of your lap, don’t Leer at the court reporter, and for goodness sakes, bathe, shave.

    also rolling a turd during the trial could be prejudicial

    don’t make child porn references or jokes and don’t make those googly eyes

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