Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

I received this in the mail yesterday—

I only have one comment to make about this for now, and anything further will be in a court paper I might file related to this motion. Here’s my comment: I thought that the Cabin Boy™ said that he had surrendered his driver’s license for a state ID card, so what’s that pictured at the bottom of page 8 of his filing?

166 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. “…had surrendered his driver’s license for a state ID card, so what’s that pictured at the bottom of page 8 of his filing?”




    (all together…)


    • Not only that, but we all pointed out how he would magically get worse and worse symptoms as court day approached. Biwwy really needs to be studied by scientists, because when he’s not required to be in court he is healed by the power of washing dishes, but as soon as it’s time to go to court he wastes away into nothing and is too feeble to crap on the toilet without assistance again.

      • It’s a progressive disease. Just because he drove 3300 miles in April, and took a bus ride last month, doesn’t mean he isn’t totally dying now.

        It just progresses real fast before court dates. Then it amazingly goes into remission.

    • It will certainly be interesting to see how the judge responds to this, since it appears to be a direct insult to the judge.

      • “It will certainly be interesting to see how the judge responds to this, since it appears to be a direct insult to the judge.”

        Indeed, Jorg.



        😂 Nope. No reason whatsoever… OTHER THAN A FREAKING DIRECT ORDER FROM THE JUDGE! #derpityderpderpderp

        “A judge who feels someone is improperly challenging or ignoring the court’s authority has the power to declare the defiant person in contempt of court.”

        Purdy much. *smh*

        Interesting how the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt goes into detail concerning “recording his own face via iPhone and his own voice during a previous Skype-hearing” – however, he totally avoids mentioning how he then proceeded to upload his recording to the internet for the sole purpose of ridiculing and taunting the Plaintiff.

        Lies by omission… are still lies.

    • No, Bill Schmalfeldt thinks the judge is stupider than him. Submitting a brochure describing “end stage Parkinson’s Disease” with notes from a medical exam that indicate his facial expression is normal, that he can walk, that he does not suffer from tremors, and, that he still responds to medication, apparently (which he also claimed previously stopped working.)

      Or to put in layman’s terms, he was referred for a mobility scooter, not hospice.

  2. Bill can’t drive because he has Stage 485 Porkey-son’s, so he can’t go from his Maryland trailer to the Maryland courthouse. Suddenly, Bill can drive because his Porkey-son’s disappeared or got better. Then, just as suddenly, Bill can’t drive again because his Porkey-son’s is coming to an end.

    IANAL or Judge, but I don’t think it’s common practice to use ad homs in court filings, nor do I think it’s common practice to tell the Judge that he (the Judge) didn’t do his job right the first time and he better have a good excuse.

    If he doesn’t want a Bench Warrant, he better book the trip.

    • Amazing, innit? The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt basically says, “Prove by citation I’m in contempt, Mr. Judge, or I’m clearly not. So there!”

      Wow. Just wow.

      That is a mega-ton of some serious stoopid right there. *smfh*

  3. He still hasn’t explained how this progressive condition went so far into remission that he was able to drive again, until it became inconvenient for him.

    There’s also the fact that an 8 hour bus ride is uncomfortable for most people. Two eight hour bus trips within 24 hours would probably land me in bed for a day too. But somehow, I’d manage to make a court appearance if so ordered. Has Unca Biwwy considered Amtrak? You can get a ticket from Florence to Baltimore for $70 according to Google.

  4. Not shocked at all his health is now an issue and he wants to refuse to go to trial.

    A little late now, innit? His “anticipation” should have included foreseeing that he needed special accommodations for travel and planned accordingly.

    His health evaluation shows he’s capable of travel. The lies continue.

    • Again with the old sayings… I’m thinking of the one that goes “a failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” Or something to that effect.

  5. I’m also wondering how he can deliver this document to TK by email. Has she provided one to the court and all parties?

    • Hypertechnical!

      Everyone knows she’s in Kimberlin’s backyard, right beneath the daisies. I believe Kimberlin calls that patch of compost “Ukraine.”

  6. The muscle loss he is describing are also indications of alcohol abuse or meth abuse.

    The user feels more energetic, does not sleep for long periods, usually several days, and loses his or her appetite. It is common for meth addicts to lose large amounts of weight and look gaunt, thin and undernourished. He or she will probably appear unusually active but may also act nervous and anxious.

    • It is also the case with people who are just too damn lazy to walk to the refrigerator. They lose an enabler, and lose weight as a result.

    • Man, I love that movie! And, I LOL every time anyone posts a meme of it!

      That’s one of the best! I may need to fire-up Netflix and let it play in the background while I’m putzing around the house this afternoon. 🙂

  7. Everything is proceeding not only as absolutely everybody has foreseen but also as many have predicted since his recent humiliation in North Carolina.

  8. If his condition is as bad as he says it is then why doesn’t he have a statement from his current doctor stating such?

    Or a statement from his current doctor detailing exactly how bad his Parkinson’s is currently?

    How about any medical proof from a current doctor to substantiate any of the claims he made in that filing??

      • ^^^^^THIS X 1,000,000^^^^^

        Why can’t Bill be bothered to follow the rules? You don’t attempt to contact a Judge directly to beg a favor. And why didn’t he file a motion months ago making this request? He should have gotten some sworn statements from his team of Parkinson’s physicians on his current weakened condition. Let the professionals make his case for him.

        The Cabin Boy has now made his medical condition front and center in Hoge v. Kimberlin. Now it’s time to subpoena his medical records to determine the level of perjury he has committed in this motion.

        • I’m pretty sure that there’s a First Amendment right to get answers to these important questions to find out if DUMBF*CK is violating John’s civil rights by lying about his current address health status. I saw that in Twitter court.

        • Why can’t Bill be bothered to follow the rules?

          Because the courts don’t require him to do so. They have given in to his ridiculous requests and failed to punish him for his buffonery and effrontery. So far.

          You don’t attempt to contact a Judge directly to beg a favor.

          Well, you don’t, but he sure does. And it has worked, mostly, until someone tells him to stop doing it. If no one says stop, he keeps on keeping on. Why not? Don’t cost nothing.

          For Maryland, it is nut cutting time. Fat Bastard laid out his cards from the outset in this motion: you haven’t made me follow the rules before, what, you are all of a sudden going to make me follow them now? If you can’t show me exactly what “rules” I have broken, then go piss up a rope.

          This is a challenge, Maryland courts.

          Let’s see how it plays out.

          • Once again, I’m torn; my reflexive reaction is to agree with your base position that Maryland won’t live up to its rules. BUT, Bill has done an excellent job of painting Hizzonor into a corner; unlike his pedo-terrorist buddy, Bill hasn’t given Hizzonor a way out.

            This should be interesting.

          • “If you can’t show me exactly what “rules” I have broken, then go piss up a rope.”
            To be fair, that’s a perfectly reasonable position for anyone to take. The problem with that being there IS a specific rule he broke about recording courtroom proceedings. He wants to be cute by claiming the explicit text says no recording devices “in” the courtroom and that his appearance “in” court wasn’t actually “in” court. But somehow I doubt that’s an interpretation the court will want to humor, lest they want to allow recording by every fool with a parabolic mic and a telephoto lens set up across the street, because they’re not “in” the courtroom.

            The other point of fairness I’d make is there’s no way to tell when that photocopy of the driver’s license was taken… could have been done before surrendering it. On the other hand, given his assertions in discovery (or lack thereof), I’m not sure its wise to contradict himself by suddenly claiming/demonstrating he’s just a meticulous records keeper, able to readily summon copies of documents that had no other value for months once it suddenly became convenient to do so.

  9. I thought the “other than the judge’s order” was a nice touch.

    And IMO once the judge sees the signed physician’s letter indicating that after examining the patient he determined that travel is medically contraindicated, that he should consider alternate methods of appearance… maybe over Skype from the local courthouse?

    • Show cause orders carry with them the potential for jail time, usually a suspended sentence conditioned on future obeying the rules, but the person has to be present incase the judge wants to give them a night or to to think over the rest of their suspended sentence.

  10. So if a 14 hour trip leaves you in dread because of “pain and discomfort” as the result of stage umptymillion Porkyson’s Disease, Fatboy….

    How did you make TWO trips to South Cacalakee from IOWA to see/swap spit/[REDACTED] with the blow up boyfriend?

    I hope and pray that every lie that comes out of your stinking gob (or makes into the train wrecks you call legal pleadings) comes back to bite you on your ample backside.

  11. Well well look at this said the blind man:

    PSYCHIATRIC: (checked)The patient is oriented to person, place and time. (checked)Speech is fluent and words are clear. (checked)Thought processes are coherent, insight is good (checked)There are no obsessive, compulsive, phobic or delusional thoughts, there are no illusions or hallucinations. (checked)Recent and remote memory intact.

    Head (checked)The skull is normocephalic, atraumatic and without masses. (checked)The patients facial expression and facial contours and normal, the parotid glands are not enlarged. (checked) the sinuses are non-tender. (checked)There is symmetry of the nasolabial folds. (checked)There is no facial droop.

    –from page 10 of exhibits.

    Sure sound like a man with “Parkinson’s”.

  12. This fat sob has been bragging of his recent weight loss as though it was the result of exercise. He tweeted that as a result of his weightloss he had increased energy and felt generally better. Now that Mr Hoge has successfully navigated the courts and followed all its rules, he has forced Schmaifeldt to attend a trail. I’ll note that the Cabin Boy has attempted this more than 7 times, failing in each of them. Bill can see the writing on the wall in this case against him and he knows he is in serious jeopardy. What does he do when he feels threatened………… Parkinson’s Disease Stage Elevntyyyyy is all Hoges fault……. and its killing me…….

    • Oh boy if someone had screenshots of that bragging.
      I don’t know much about Parkinsons, but I myself am on a diet and have lost 29 lbs so far (from 236 to 207). My waste has gone down in pant size, but it’s still clearly holding fat. I have the proverbial “spare tire” and it’s just as apparent as it was 4 months ago when I started the diet.
      Most people who ask if I’ve lost weight comment on my thinner face. So I don’t think you can just infer muscle loss from still having a belly. (I confess I’ve let up on my lifting, so I probably have lost some muscle).

  13. Goll-ee, but wouldn’t all them fancy medical words carry a lot more weight if they wuz attached to one’a them affidavits from a real life doctor-type person, like?

  14. Bill has made so many statements against interest in the last several months, he didn’t realize the hole we were saying was to China, was actually the grave for his case . He dug it big and he dug it deep.

    Brava ,you fat assed putz.


    And I foresee that the judge will SUMMARILY DENY the DUMBFUCK’S motion for reconsideration before WJJ HOGE III files an opposition.

  16. Why is Bill using a WI drivers license? Isn’t he a SC resident these days??? I suspect SC requires new residents to get updated drivers license or state ID within 30 days of moving into the state.

    • Actually within 90 days. Since he moved there back in May/April, he’s now past the date required by law. By possessing a WI driver’s license, he is in violation of South Carolina law. Most states punches a hole in the driver’s license but in South Carolina, they actually physically take your driver’s license from you and shred it on the spot immediately when you are issued your new SC driver’s license. I moved out of SC and went to another state where that new state cut a corner of my SC driver’s license off to invalidate it and let me keep the remainder. Then I moved to my final state recently and they punched a hole. I’ve moved to 5 states in the last 5 years. I’m done moving.

      Now based on my law education, now that Dumbfuck showed his driver’s license, he’s declaring that he still resides in the Eastern District of Wisconsin where the suit must be filed or one of the states where the defendants resides. However that’s kind of moot at this point since they have a South Carolina lawyer representing them all.

      • I’ll again throw out the possibility that this was an old photocopy of the license, included only as evidence of his weight at the time it was issued (though if WI is anything like it is here in MI, they don’t actually weigh you and just write down whatever guestimate you give them)…. but again I’ll note that’s some conveniently meticulous record keeping of an otherwise useless document for someone who claims he keeps nothing worth discovering.

  17. Our Gentle Host should file a very short opposition tomorrow noting the failure of The Oaf to get a doctor’s opinion and move the court simultaneously for an independent medical evaluation on shortened time. The Oaf should be required to provide all records of medical treatment he has received for the past seven years, along with pharmacy prescription records, to the evaluating physician. That will cost John several hundred dollars- perhaps a thousand. I would chip in $100, and I hope others would too. It’s time to lay Bill Schmalfeldt’s on again-off again Parkinson’s to rest. I hope that the court is grossly offended by this sort of “eve of trial” shenanigan. There’s no reason, if The Oaf has been so steadily losing weight, that the motion could not have been made a month ago.

    Oh, and I’ll take this up at the ACB tomorrow at greater length, but the court does not give a good Goddam about a litigant having to take an uncomfortable mode of transportation to attend trial because he’s poor. When it all comes down to it, a plane would probably be not quite, but reasonably close to as cheap as the bus, but so what? The economic status of a litigant when it comes to attending a duly and long noticed trial is NOT a proper thing for the court to take into account. This sort of thing is just sickening.

  18. To be fair, there’s no way to tell when the photocopy of that license was taken. On the other hand, given the claimed inability to comply with discovery, I’d be careful before implying a contrary habit of meticulous record keeping.

  19. Called it! I said he never turned it in.
    Rumor has it (hi, Johnny Atsign!) that someone has been seen driving rental cars. Nah, Johnny doesn’t exist.

  20. Heh, Called it! I said he never turned it in.
    Rumor has it (hi, Johnny Atsign!) that someone has been seen driving rental cars. Nah, Johnny doesn’t exist.

  21. I foresee… proceedings.
    Lulz inducing pleadings.
    Hilarious legal misreadings.
    Self served internet beatings.

    And cake.

  22. As others have pointed out, he lied to the court when he said he no longer had a license. Those lies should be included in an opposition.

  23. Your pain or lack thereof is irrelevant, DUMBF*CK. Hie thee to the courthouse.

    • The court doesn’t give a tinker’s damn about “travel pain.” Not one bit. It hurts me to travel. Do you think the court would give me an ounce of concern if I have to physically appear for Bill’s suit? That would be a no.

      Bill’s gonna have to suck it up. Or default. Like he’s crowed that all of us were going to do. Who would have thought he was far seeing…

      So really, all is proceeding as he tried to foresee, except reversed. 😂😂😂

    • Actually the WJJHoge Board of Legal Review has deemed him a prevaricating, uneducable idiot of a stalker and pedo. But that happened years ago, not recently. And the Board doesn’t care about his pain. It’s irrelevant to the situation.

  24. Well, he’s not going walk into court and fuck himself over. He wants to do that via Skype. Either way, ewwwww.

    I wonder if the court will summarily deny this motion before John submits his response?

  25. What a lying, kiniving scumbag.

    NO, Mr. Fakinsons, the judge isn’t going to let you appear via Skype after what you did last time via Skype, then blow off a hearing no matter how you spin it.

    This is all a setup for a default followed by an appeal, a “good luck collecting” or embracing the power.

    Boy is he in for a surprise!!

    • What I really like is the beginning of the heading in Item 1 – “Other than the Judge’s order….”

      Other possible suggested closings to this sentence:

      Other than the Judge’s order, there’s no reason at all for me to pay any damages to anyone!

      Other than the Judge’s order, there’s no reason at all I’m banned from filing further lawsuits!

      Other than the Judge’s order, there’s no way I’d be spending 30 years in this joint!

    • and as I read through that document, did he really just say to the court “Please, don’t make me go because I’m too fat!!!” ???

  26. “….Plaintiff claims Schmalfeldt is guilty of contempt of court for recording his own face via iPhone and his own voice during a previous Skyp-hearing.”

    Opening paragraph and he is already lying to the court. He also recorded the judge, John Hoge, and everyone else that spoke at the hearing. And then posted it all to YouTube. I don’t have the energy to fsck all the other lies in that garbage motion. Bill, you should have begged for mercy long ago. You should have done whatever John asked to get out of this mess you made for yourself but you didn’t. Why? Because you remain the

    World’s Stupidest Man™

    • “He also recorded the judge, John Hoge, and everyone else that spoke at the hearing. And then posted it all to YouTube. ” And for the express purpose that others might hear the judge, John Hoge, and everyone else. They weren’t rumblings in the background he meant listeners to ignore, the recorded court proceedings were the point of his publishing.

    • What else was predictable was the lack of medical evidence stating Fakinsons (no monkey, I’m not educating you. I’ll let you find out the hard way for the lulz)

  27. There are many reasons for an internet account to be suspended, some of them innocuous.

    There are very many reasons why a gravitar might point to a suspended account, many of them innocuous.

    None the less, when (quite by accident) I stumble upon a suspended account gravitar, and the opinion expressed is an elaborate contradiction of the conclusions of the consensus, I say to myself “Hmmm…”

  28. Strange how he wants the judge to play doctor, instead of you know, getting one to attest to whatever condition he wants the judge to diagnose based on Feldtchart internet clips. There are many other conditions to account for weight loss and muscle wasting, ranging from decidedly not rare diabetic changes to having to walk to get anything to eat, to alcoholism and/or drug use, not to mention several other unmentioned causes.
    He was moving around well enough a month ago, and after making claims to the contrary on many occasions previous, most of those related to things he just didn’t want to face.

    • The patient hx/intake notes above are dated from June, and all he got was a referral, not a diagnosis.

      BTW they don’t usually make me step on a scale at the DMV, and don’t usually check up on how well the whole paleo thing is going,

      • I guess I should note that the assessment, based on hx and cursory exam was PD, hypertension, anxiety and obesity. However this has to be qualified by the evaluator’s complete unfamiliarity with DF and reliance on history presented, and the necessity of passing off any specialist treatment or evaluation.

        Obviously he has deep brain stimulation dents and the PA or doc (not doing a very entensive neuro exam) would not be doing any intensive neuro exam let alone a big fat faker exam. It’s clear DF has given his usual narrative and is presenting the PD identity he inhabits.

  29. He really doesn’t get it, does he?

    His problem isn’t what Hoge asked, its what the Judge already decided. And the fact he ignored that. Oh, and he made the judge look like a fool.

    Dude, Hoge is the least of your worries.

  30. I’m amused that he is seeing a doctor, to get a referral to a specialist, to get a scooty-puff. Didn’t he just get rid of one of those? And how’s the GoFundMe thing going?

  31. I love how Bill Schmalfeldt says that he had to have violated a “Maryland Statute or Rule” to be held in Contempt of Court, and then proceeds to explain in the whole next paragraph that he can be found in Contempt of Court for a whole other wide range of things – basically pissing off a judge. Crazy and evil. Uneducated, as well.

    I am continuously amused by Bill Schmalfeldt’s attempts to appear intelligent and educated in his court filings, when all he really accomplishes is to demonstrate that he has neither knowledge or writing skills. Bill really should be charged with torturing the English language, but I’m afraid this court doesn’t have jurisdiction over that.

  32. Witless affirmed under penalty of perjury that he took to his bed for a day after a dim girl figuratively stomped his ass in North Carolina. That affirmation is plausible because the beat down he received was magnificent. Absent publication today before noon Pacific time of eyewitness testimony rebutting that affirmation, I shall pronounce this to be a credible statement.

    We must give credit where it is due. I shall object to any future statement that Witless has never made a credible assertion.

  33. LOL. Now he’s got around to visiting TMZ’s website. Not surprising to see he’s so fixated on the Grady = Krendler conspiracy theory. When Grady states he’s not Krendler, what then Dumbuck? You’re going to hold court on Twitter and declare Grady to be lying and threaten him with the cuffs?

  34. Since Twitter clinical rounds are in progress, it’s probably fair to note the Lisinopril script.
    (a drug given for hypertension, which is noted in the assessment)
    Lisinopril is associated with some of the symptoms DF noted this spring and is associated with marked weight loss in some patients.

    LOOK: a clip from the internet. I haz solved his disease /s

    “Eating Less

    Lisinopril can cause a number of symptoms that prompt you to eat less than you normally world. It can cause mild nausea, dizziness, sore throat and difficulty swallowing. When faced with these symptoms each day, you may decline eating as much as normal. Because you are consuming less food, weight loss may result.”

  35. He seems capable of looking things up he wants to look up. Doesn’t he check for common side effects of the meds he takes?

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