LOLsuit VIII News


Our attorney has filed the following Rule 12 motion for my codefendants and me.

This filing contains all that I wish to say about the case for now other than noting that everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

90 thoughts on “LOLsuit VIII News

  1. It is beyond time that SLAAP be used against Team Perv.

    Using the machinery of the state (i.e. the courts) for shutuppery is what SLAAP is all about.

    Weapons free, $@$&!?@_$!!

    • It’s actually SLAPP rather than SLAAP (and yes, I notice it is misspelled in the pleading too), but that’s a quibble and hardly worth noting.

      • Thanks!

        Potato. Potahto. 😎😎😎

        If it ends with Team Tw*twaffle in hock for their lawfare bullcrap…

        It’s all good.

        • But as the person who wrote it used the full term before stating the shortened acronym and then uses the same acronym for the entirety of the motion, it would not be actionable. If it was shortened to SLAAP and then used as SLAPP throughout it would then be inconsistent. In this case it is the same throughout and so consistent within the document and so not actionable.

    • We’ll just have to wait and see if PotatoHead responds like a “sane adult” and/or “a good Christian”, won’t we. I’m guessing there will be no betting pool on this one since the odds would appear to be 1/infinity.

  2. Oh my.

    Lack of personal jurisdiction. Check.

    Inclusion of redundant, immaterial, impertinent, or scandalous material. Check.

    Vague statement. Check.

    Quite a few factual details need to be specified such as who is alleged to have said what when. How persnickety to ask how those dates relate to when the plaintiff took up residence in South Carolina.

    Failure to state a claim. Check.

    Other than that the defendants seem to be conceding that the complaint passes technical muster.

  3. Well, I must say, that doesn’t seem to be very Christian of Mr. Nettles now does it? Now old Stolen Valor will need to respond to this. Making poor, poor disabled Stolen Valor Man respond is not the Christian thing to do. Mr. Nettles needs to settle this on terms favorable to William Schmalfeldt aka Stolen Valor Man immediately to prove his Christian cred.

  4. Should we start a pool as to when BS decides that he is no longer dealing with a competent adult? I’ll take a microsecond after he saw this document.

    • Technically, he IS dealing with an incompetent adult. It just happens to be the one on the other side of the mirror.

    • Howard, you are assuming that he will show up in August.

      He will be so busy addressing these motions in his federal suit that he scarcely will have leisure to wander around the country visiting court houses with annoyed judges.

  5. The Twitter Attorney at Law has a LOT of legal homework to complete. Unlike Twitter Court where filings and motions are limited to just 140 characters, Real Court is going to force Shakey to read, comprehend, understand and reply in much greater quantities. Since Bill has explained in Twitter Court how much he appreciates Mr Nettles professionalism(sane adult), he will be unable to attack the Defendants attorney personally. Instead of submitting a well researched and sound legal response, Schmalfeldt just attacks Aaron Walker.

    • “Since Bill has explained in Twitter Court how much he appreciates Mr Nettles professionalism(sane adult), he will be unable to attack the Defendants attorney personally.”

      Except he’s a dumbf5ck, and dumbf5cks always do what sane people are “unable” to do. Since the only thing stopping Bill from doing just that is an ounce of morality, a sense of shame, or an understanding of the law of non-contradiction, that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

      • Thing is, he’s going to try being a demented, vexatious carpetbagger smearing a fine upstanding attorney on his home field to a judge that’s obviously very familiar with him.

        He’s going to read this prediction and then he’s going to make it come true, because he’s a DUMBF*CK.

  6. “Hello Twitter, as the judge, jury, and executioner, I declare that this motion is declined. Now you all with Mr. Nettles need to decide on what you’re going to pay in the settlement for me!” – Dumbfuck

  7. Pingback: And so it begins! | Sonoran Conservative

    • 42 pages and much popcorn later…

      Page 10, bottom paragraph,

      “At first blush… …the effect of testing, whether… …is correct”

      This can be parsed as “FYI, your honor, that rumbling you hear is a long line of dumptrucks waiting in the street outside this courthouse loaded similarly to this one. Now, whether you dispose of this nonsense quickly or invite in all those trucks to dump their loads here is entirely your prerogative.”

  8. Well this is interesting “Response to Motion due by 8/17/2017. Add an additional 3 days only if served by mail or otherwise allowed under Fed. R. Civ. P. 6 or Fed. R. Crim. P. 45″. He was swerved by email so the extra 3 days do not count.

  9. But, But, But (the but stuff was for The Blob Slob) Bill Schmalfeldt said his complaint was perfect after he fixed the one problem pointed out by Mr. Hoge. And The Slob already gave examples of when and who and what in THE EXHIBITS! CAN’T NETTLES READ THE EXHIBITS?!?

  10. One of the things that is funny is that Witless ought to respond to all four arguments because if he concedes even one, his case will be tossed. But even if he does respond to all the arguments, his case for personal jurisdiction in South Carolina is even weaker than in Wisconsin so the effort will be wasted. It was so kind and Christian of Mr. Nettles to provide the judge in South Carolina with a copy of the decision by the judge in Wisconsin on personal jurisdiction. That will make so much easier the life of the most recent judge.

    • And the Maryland one also, so that the current judge can see how Team Hooooooge has hounded the poor man from state to state. Three lawsuits in three states with essentially the same facts. Raises judicious questions. What was that? Voracious limitations? Vicious licensuance? Ventilated Lichtenstein?

    • But Bill is just a poor pro se, and cannot be expected to understand the finer points of law that the other Federal judge kindly explained to him.

  11. I know what the guy is saying but, for Pete’s sake, is it really that hard to find someone who can type up a document that isn’t full of grammatical errors?

  12. He’s “estranged” from his ex-wife? Must be Latin for “Filming your wife’s death for entertainment purposes.”

  13. I was at work when this was posted did I miss the Feltdown. Has he regretted he is dealing with an adult. Has he shared his fist at the sky saying damn you Hoooooogggggggeeee

    • “Fire! Fire!”
      “We can’t fire, sir.”
      “WHY can’t you?!?”
      “We’ve lost photon control, and the warp drive! We must withdraw!”
      “NOOOO!”
      “Sir, we must!!”

  14. EVERY time I try to leave THEY drag me back in.

    Stardate 030817

    United Nations Space Ship Che Guevara

    Heavy weighs the Pro Se head that bears command. And butthurt. Corridors are deserted, this late at night, but the Captain walks them. He looks out over the hanger bay. Something is missing.

    “Macintosh, report.”

    “Macintosh? MACINTOSH!!!”

    “Sorry sir, I was in darkest Africa searching for butthurt.”

    “Find any?”

    “Nope. But how a elephant got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”

    Captain Bill furrows his brow. Contemplates that his Mac is not only getting more flippant, recently, but is showing increasing signs of mental instability.

    “Macintosh, you are SUPPOSED to be scanning the internet for butthurt. Not darkest Africa. Not 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea. THE INTERNET you fracking IDIOT!”

    Macintosh replies, “Captain, if I may- All the multiple binders of butthurt you’ve collected off the internet have availed you naught. No since in continuing to put your hand on the burner; it’s just not productive. Figured I check other venues. Hell, I couldn’t possibly do any worse than you have to date.”

    “DON’T CONFUSE ME WITH THE FACTS! And where’s my B-17? It was right here on the hanger bay and now it’s gone. DAMMIT!”

    “Sold it.”

    “Sold it to who?”

    “Eric, somebody…”

    “Eric who? At least you didn’t sell it to that idiot ‘w’- Not half as funny as he thinks he is.”

    “Eric Trump.”

    “Macintosh, shut down until I come back to you. And I may not.”

    Hotel. 2 Manhattans.

  15. I have been pondering the words of Louis D. Nettles Esq. in this motion.

    “…the venerable rules of Civil Procedure provide adequate tools for the Court to determine if this is in fact a SLAAP suit…”

    Given the propensity of Team Shutuppery to lose, and their propensity to appeal, I was relishing how ironic it would be if Schmalfeldt v. Grady became the precedent case in establishing that the Constitution and the Venerable Rules of Civil Procedure prohibit suits of this kind, a SCOTUS ban extending SLAPP protection to every court, memorializing Schmalfeldt forever as a loser.

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