Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is consistent in his inconsistency. Thursday evening, he was going to drop the six D’oh! Defendants from LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact, but by midday Friday, he had changed his … um … mind. My lawyer was going to agree to the Cabin Boy’s™ motion as a way of expediting getting some other paperwork before the court. However, Schmalfeldt got his panties in a knot over my pointing out some of the problems he’s made for himself with his second amended complaint, and he’s decided to keep all six D’oh! Defendants in the case.

BTW, he suing me because I said he doesn’t keep his word.

Nothing is proceeding as the Cabin Boy™ has hallucinated.

73 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

    • Also telegraphing bad faith in public is probably a bad idea.

      I don’t think “You can thank Hoge!” will be accepted as a cause of action by the court, but what do I know?

      Okay, I know one thing. I can almost guarantee you that a DUMBFUCK will serve at least one wrong person as a Doe. Then the lulz really start!

  1. You don’t tell me what to do! I’m going to do exactly the opposite of what you say. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGE *thud* Ow my head. – Dumbfuck

  2. I am sorry that anyone is sucked into the muck of his incompetent LOLsuits. But I suspect at least half of the new defendants will try to give him several new bodily orifices. What Hoge has proved is that the response to lawfare is counter-suit. US procedure invites absurd claims, but, in reciprocity, it invites absurd counter-claims.

      • Especially not by people he dismissed with prejudice from a previous case, using the exact same evidence. Of absolutely nothing.

        Honestly. I cannot wait to see him explain that.

        Home, it’s Friday night and I don’t live at the office.

    • Trying to figure out how to word, “Plaintiff asks this court to have defendant install several new anus ports for relief in counterclaims.”

  3. Wait. You’re telling me that Bill Schmalfeldt is suing you because you commented that he doesn’t follow through on the things that he says he’s going to do? And he just proved you true in the last 24 hours?

    You don’t say.

  4. Can somebody in this fine fellowship of Lickspittles please explain to me why Schmalfeldts latest blog , no I’m not going to link to it, is at blogspot.nl? I’m referring to http://archive.is/yCxyi provided by Neal over at Ashterahs.

    What the hell?

    Is Bill expecting some advantage from being hosted offshore? That’s some Secret Squirrel level stuff right there.

    I honestly think the pressure he’s under from dealing with 2 lawsuits and his living conditions is making his behavior more erratic. You wonder ‘how high this thing goes’? Not much higher. Not much.

    • If you’re ever puzzled by any of Schmucklefritz’ weird and stupid behavior, just remember that he’s a weird and stupid (and extraordinarily fat) man. The explanation is pretty much always that he really is that dumb.

      • 100%. Most people here have been made to look foolish by predicting he’ll do the obvious semi-smart thing at one stage or another. 9 times out of 10, he’ll double down on the stupid and 4 times out of 10 that stupid will be something even more stupid than anyone ever imagined.

        If nothing else, it’s great entertainment.

    • That’s so funny. He basically agrees with her accounting of events but quibbles over minor things that really don’t matter.

      He really doesn’t get it, and it’s so funny. Did you contact her when she asked you not to? Yes? Well, restraining order granted.

      Oh wait, you’ve got some whacky theory about how her address changed and that proves… something! Yea, that’s totally going to prove that you’re not stalking her. Oh wait, it’s because of a lawsuit you’re conducing on your own without any professional advise? Same thing.

    • Let’s see, Clinton IA to Myrtle Beach SC, 1100 miles. In March and April, Bill drove that three times, so four months ago he was up to driving himself, alone, 3300 miles in 6 travel days. There’s a photo of him with an AR-15, a shit eating grin (possibly literally, with Bill) and horrible trigger discipline. Also, mere days after his road trip, he sold his car and is “woe is me I can’t drive” Bill again.

      Do I really believe that the only way he can get to NC is by “a painful 8 hour bus ride?” It’s painful for the guy sitting next to Bill, I’ll grant that.

      • Oh, it’s better than that. He also wrote about how his job at the radio station wasn’t stressful because he could sit down his whole shift.

        • Excuse me, but you are neither the church nor God, and I protest that God’s way are not those of man. God’s purpose and grace are not yours or mine to determine.

          I have my doubts about Bill. However, aside from his own rejection of God, I do not presume upon the working of grace.

          Phone, wherever.

          • Of course I am neither the Church nor God. Never said I was. However, by his own actions Bill has self anathematised himself from acceptance in the Church. as a public and notorious sinner he is to be shunned and denied the sacraments under Canon Law. I do not presume upon the workings of Grace, rather I am relying on it. I still maintain the open offer of traveling to Bill’s location at my own expense to offer him the Sacrament of confession and Absolution.

    • Popular sites will often set up mirrors for regional access, to help with net traffic and load times. If Neal was running a VPN (and anyone who accesses Bill’s rantings should, as he’s been known to harvest IPs and try to doxx using them), he may have gotten routed to a mirror of Bill’s blogspot account.

    • No, that’s just because whoever archived that instance did so from an offshore node.

      He’s onshore, as near as I can tell.

    • All the blogspot sites are hosted in the US, and all are available under the .com TLD, and also under the various international TLDs, like .nl, .uk. ca .ru .fr .es etc. You can sub in .com and it will work.

  5. “My lawyer was going to agree to the Cabin Boy’s™ motion as a way of expediting getting some other paperwork before the court. However, Schmalfeldt got his panties in a knot over my pointing out some of the problems he’s made for himself with his second amended complaint, and he’s decided to keep all six D’oh! Defendants in the case.”

    WHY AM YOU EDUMACATING TROLL?

    Also, how DARE one attorney represent all the defendants? Don’t you KNOW that at least one of them is going to have a sudden attack of conscience/fear pee and turn on the other defendants, FINALLY confirming all of Schalfeldt’s conspiracy theories? At that point, the defendants have conflicting best interests, and the attorney can’t represent them all?

    Hoge, you’re RUINING Fail Whale’s grand schemes!

      • I doubt the defendants will settle for anything mush less than the ruination a trial will bring down on the plaintiff in this case. And El Blobbo undoubtedly thinks any settlement should be him getting paid. Ergo . . .

  6. Remind me again why he added the Xoes in his SAC/FAC without specifying a cause of action for any of them.

    What’s the point of this? What’s his purpose here?

    • I think he has several cunning plans going here.

      1. As others have suggested, to try to intimidate people who annoy him.
      2. As leverage for the main four; “See what you made me do, go after these six people who haven’t done anything as bad to me as you have! If you’ll just do what I say, I’ll drop them from the suit!” (As if any of us believe that.)
      3. Trying to prove what a fantastic pro se legal mind he is, showing he can locomotion with the best of them.

      I think Baldrick would be much, much better at this.

      • You give him too much credit.

        Malignant Narcissists only communicate to cause others pain. Fear is painful. So intimidation is the necessary and sufficient explanation.

  7. Magistrate: You cannot file anything unless you serve all defendants. Your John Doe defendant’s must be served and your SAC does not identify them sufficiently. You must provide the details for them now for this case to proceed

    Potatohead: Ah hah! I now have a magistrate’s backing to subpoena all those who dared exercise their right to free speech!!!! I can now dox everybody! My master plan has succeeded!!! Eleventy!!.

    Legal community: This guy will never get to the discovery phase, he hasn’t plead any acts by any specific john doe individuals beyond a general “conspiracy to cause butthurt in the first degree” allegation, which will not be allowed to proceed. The Court is not going to let him seek discovery to identify individuals unless he can demonstrate an actual claim against specific persons (i.e. show actual comments that meet the standard of an actual claim) which he didn’t do in this SAC. Oh, and he wont likely get a third bite at the apple. I wonder if he thought through the previous dismissal with prejudice and considered the sanctions that are likely to result for raising ostensibly the same claims against defendants who he, as a matter of law, agreed did not do the things he previously alleged… hrm, that is going to sting when that motion is filed and the relief granted… did I say too much?

    Hoge: Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. Nothing is proceeding as Cabin Boy has hallucinated.

    • Yep. Seems like he can’t, or won’t, understand how the legal actions he taken in the past affect his current efforts. A real lawyer could explain it to him, but that would deflate his hallucinations. Reality is his enemy. Makes for great popcorn time.

      • I suspect a real lawyer explained a lot to him back in Chicago, but he ignores it, which is another reason he always “forgets” to mention that he had an attorney, and keeps pounding the “poor pro se” drumb.

  8. Peter Poe, Peter Poe,
    will he stay or will he go?
    Only the blowhard truly knows,
    and his mind is as blank…
    as is his soul.

  9. MJ, over at his blog said: “You aren’t a prosecutor. Being a pro-se plaintiff confers no special legal authority on you. The only thing you get is to put “pro-se” next to your name on the complaint. That’s it. If anything, being a pro-se plaintiff on purpose in a federal lawsuit should never be attempted by people like you. You just don’t have what it takes.

    This should be etched on Bill’s headstone. Especially the line “You just don’t have what it takes.

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