Breaking: I am informed that a restraining order was granted in Palmer v. Schmalfeldt.
Stay tuned.
UPDATE—I’m informed that the Cabin Boy™ was present at the hearing.
More later.
UPDATE 2—Here is the Restraining Order:
UPDATE 3—Sarah Palmer talks about today’s events over at the Artisan Craft Blog.
Double digit restraining orders! Who does such a thing? Oh, yeah: William M. Schmalfeldt.
Your renewal made it 10. This is 11. Thank the good Lord for a sensible judge.
It’s always hard to keep track of the total. At least ten judges in 5 different states came to the same conclusion.
Rats, 12:
Hoge – 3
Causeys – 2
Grady – 1
AgileDog – 2
LT – 1 that covered more than one person, IIRC
Ashterah – 2
= 11
+ 1 today
_________
=12
Wow.
Grady’s covered more than one person too. I guess IL is willing to have ROs covering multiple targets whereas other states want each person to get their own RO.
If we just go by number of people covered it’s still 12.
I wonder if the Diminished Capacity Kid was asked to spell his name for the record … and if he got it right on the first try.
I look forward to seeing the victory spin at Cabin Boy Unread.
“LIES! PERJURY! GOOGLY EYES! FAT! ADULTERY! (Pause to roll poop and film it) FEDERAL MARSHALS! POSTAL INSPECTOR! CHRISTMAS EVE CLERK!”
How was that?
Seems legit.
“KRENDLERRRRR! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!”
ADA!
Yeah, I don’t think anybody will be letting that one go anytime soon.
TETSUOOOOOOOOOOO!!
KANEDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
ASHITAKAAAAA!
I’m pretty sure that his appearance actually hurt him more than if he’d failed to appear.
And I’m sure that Judge Hecker will be pleased with his renewed interest in – and ability to – travel.
And you notice that since he appeared, he has notice of the RO. No need for service of the order. ROFL
You would be right.
Ashterah:
Magnificent job!
You rock Ash!! Stay safe out there!!!
Wait, he was there? That’s the headline.
And he screwed up the office pool.
Not for me! I WON! I think there were 2 of us who said he would show up. I’m the only one that predicted [REDACTED] so I won. I’ll treat to a bottle of the good stuff at the next meeting.
I’m filing a protest with the Stewards.
Don’t bother, the fix is in…Maryland, ya know.
Better get to them before TOLF and his good stuff do. Otherwise, it’s a lost cause.
We have reviewed the pool and your entry; while we sympathize with your position, the rules are clear.
Think about it for a sec. Who, in a world that hasn’t lost its mind, really needs to show up to defend against getting an RO? It’s tantamount to saying “I really need to maintain my unwanted contact with this person” isn’t it? Wouldn’t a normal person who isn’t harassing just say “go ahead and take one out because I have no desire or need to contact this person”?
A case that comes to mind would be like BK trying to take one out on WJJH or AW and then you would want to show up not necessarily to argue against getting one released but to get it on record your objection that you have done nothing to merit such a ruling regardless of whether one is issued or not. And I don’t see DF arguing that way at all.
yeah but that is the difference between decent men, like Hoge and Walker and dumbf5cks like Schmalfeldt and BK
Neither Hoge nor Walker did anything they were accused of when BK tried to take one out.
Fat Bastard did EVERYTHING he was accused of with plenty of evidence to prove it which is what caused the latest one to be asked for.
The judge agreed (obviously) and granted it.
Yep, essentially what I was trying to say, the behavior is confirmation of the quality of the person.
Kyle, no, because it shows up on your record and may impact other rights.
Right. If it’s domestic, you can kiss your 2nd Amendment rights goodbye.
I can think of many scenarios where a person would want to show up for such a hearing. They do impact your rights and there may be reasons to dispute claims of if the relief requested would negatively impact you.
. His presence was not completely stupid.
Fair enough. Sounds reasonable.
The problem is — he argued that he had a perfect right to contact her. That is not the reasonable person’s position.
Evan though the defendant is provably so …
Malignant Narcissists’ only pleasure is causing pain to others, particularly through nasty words. A restraining order denies them that pleasure.
Dammit WP.
Heh. I knew he was going to show. He shut up during prime Feldtdown hours.
I wonder if there’s a real Johnny Atsign.
Johnny didn’t fall for this. Just speculation on my part, of course.
Also, I’m sure tweets @mentioning Ash and talking about furry and bald whatsits made him look really normal.
Maybe not.
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Bwahahaha
REBRANDING!!!!
You probably don’t believe in Santa Claus either, you heathen.
Everybody a’knows there no such thing as a Sanity Clause!
+1000 for a Marx Brothers reference
The baliff made him remove his stupid hat, it went downhill from there
Now he has this right to question anayone…
Did work out so well….
The court and the entire galeery laughed at him according to hoge cultists in attendance
Which hat? The cowboy with the pleather jacket one , or the porkpie hat?
The porkpie is the stupidest I hope it was that one.
Yhe pork pir one
Did he arrive in a wheelchair and on a respirator?
Forklift
He needs a suspensor harness, like the Baron Harkonnen in Dune.
The cat would pull his heart plug in an instant.
Commander Pike’s chair.
DAmmit; pictures of this war canoe.

For reals? He didn’t have respect enough for the court to take his hat off?
I wonder when Schmalfeldt will be releasing the video.
As soon as he gets the audio, then he can tell us all about her lies.
You know, @redheadturkey, people warned you to distract him away from his perseverations. My sympathies if you tried, now you know what you are up against.
He will always need us more than he needs you…
Evergreen
Streisand Effect. nice tie-in. (But I really, reeally hate that song.)
Lol that never gets old.
I’m curious if he actually tried to make a perjury argument or if that was just for Internet’s sake.
was waiting for this
apparently that is EXACTLY what he did….Again.
That’s one of his stand-by arguments.
“Your honor, I logged on around noon….”
“LIES! PERJURY! It was 11:59!!!!!!!!!”
I actually think its brain damage that makes him do this. He just cannot recognize when a course of conduct or line of argument has diminishing returns or counterproductive effects.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_alcohol_spectrum_disorder
Well, of course he did.
I wonder if he really had the notion that Guilford county would not grant a RO for the same nutty behavior as Rockingham. I know he’s that dumb, but that’s not dispositive. He’s so utterly dishonest AND stupid that pretending to believe the ridiculous is completely plausible.
He’s not dumb; he’s deranged, see his own admissions.
Por que no los dos?
I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like South Carolina landlords are going to read about this.
You mean South Carolina landlord might Google William Schmalfeldt and find out he has 12 Restraining Orders? Or they might find out that William Schmalfeldt has told multiple courts he is a pauper?
Well, actually a ” No Contact Order For Stalking Or Nonconsensual Sexual Conduct”
I am sure that all the landlords associations in both N. Carolina and S. Carolina have publicly available e-mail addresses …
In a situation like this, it’s far better to let them make the discovery on their own. They’ll enjoy it. Eventually.
Not until the email arrives, anyway…
I do wonder about the mode of transportation. Excellent friends might have helped out.
or lying liars that lie, lied about not having any transportation.
I think Johnny Atsign may have been on this.
Sara deserves full credit for defending herself today. There will be nothing more than legal failures from now on for Team Kimberlin.
Yes she does….
Golf clap!
(clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap)
No,

Bill F5cking Murray:
Let’s give the Fail Wail some credit too.
Let’s not diminish his capacity: It’s tough to earn 12 Restraining Orders. He’s probably worked harder for that than anything else in his career.
There may be a typo in that last sentence.
Sometimes, thoughts are frivolous and passing.
The address for Mr. Fakinsons on the restraining order is WRONG!!!
And he was there and did not offer to correct it!!
ZOMG TEH PURJERY!!1!1!!1!1!1!1!1!
Unless…
The “kicked out of the hotel” claim was a head-fake, just like “ho-hum, let me know how the hearing goes” was – he only know a few tricks, and uses them repeatedly.
The best way to discredit something Bill Schmalfeldt says, is to know he said it.
Gee, it sure looks like the court found he stalked and harassed, jusging by that update.
Bill Schmalfeldt: adjudicated stalker
Hoge had one, too.
Did that one say ‘cease stalking?’
No, it had different language. Have to dig it up, unless WJJH has it handy.
That’s why I like this one. The box to ‘cease stalking’ is clearly checked. He couldn’t ‘cease’ doing something if he weren’t already doing it.
Also, I think it’s kinda odd to sue folks for saying ine is a deranged cyberstalker, when one has recorded and sold stuff like this:
I see the actual order requires DUMBFUCK, and I quote, to “cease stalking the plaintiff” and also to “cease harassment the plaintiff.”
How does one “cease” doing something unless they were doing it in the first place?
Stalker. Harasser. Schmalfeldt.
Now on paper in plain black and white language. Congratulations.
It even specified that he had done so using several means.
One of which happened to be through the internet making him, you guessed it, a cyberstalker.
Bazinga!
And signed by a judge of competent jurisdiction that a DUMBFUCK submitted himself to.
No longer can Schmaleldt argue that the restraining orders were uncontested. No longer can he argue that anyone “cheated.”
Drunkenstein lost on the merits, Christ, that’s gotta chap his ass.
5 gallons of chap
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the moooo-oooo-ooorning!
Sipping a little champagne 🥂 from my res judicata mug. Here’s to you Ash, nicely done.
Oh, and he’s fat. Maybe not morbidly obese, but sure as hell obese.
I’m sure DF will blame the female judge. Wait for it…
A story in two parts.
The Lie:
The Truth:
“Bill Schmalfeldt and I had a discussion immediately after the settlement conference for the copyright infringement suit I filed against him. During that discussion, he made representations to me about his plan for his Internet presence going forward. I told him that, if he followed that plan, there would be no reason to follow through with my peace order petition. I encouraged him to pursue the course he outlined. I asked him to give me a reason to drop the matter, and we shook hands.
While he seemed to be following his plan for a week or so, Schmalfeldt quickly began giving me reasons to question his sincerity. His behavior over the past week convinced me that I should not withdraw my petition.”
https://hogewash.com/2014/08/27/in-re-a-peace-order/
Verdi smiles.
I’d been having a rather crappy week (non-TK-related), but this news makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m sure it’s making others feel that way too (like Sarah!).
So, we have an office pool on how long before we start reading/hearing this from a certain hotel in SC?

Another for the Google bomb. Well done, Shakes.
Don’t ever change.
I wonder if DF realizes the magnitude of this order. Right now I’m in a bind I want to mock the DF and point out how we had him pegged and how he stumbled into a courtroom and totally f***ed him self. On the other hand I don’t want to point out why because I don’t want to educate the blob so when he realizes how F***ed he the lulz will be non stop.
Nah, let him think its no big deal. He’ll stumble onto the real problem soon enough.
Here’s a song about contempt hearings in Maryland.
He thinks he doesn’t have to show in August because the Diddler requested it. Something about Ninotchka meeting with DJT Jr. or something….
OH MAN!
So very many things make more sense now!!!
You nailed it Howard.
My initial thought on hearing he’d actually made an appearance was “Wow! Testicular fortitude for once!” But then I realized that of course he’d showed because it was the stupidest choice he could have made. And never let it be said that Unca Biwwy doesn’t know how to reach the bottom of the stupid hole and then Keep. On. Digging. (Can we safely assume he’s well into the mantle by now?)
Honestly there was no good option. The good option got lost when he couldn’t check himself when told no.
I’m not sayin’; I’m just sayin’:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kola_Superdeep_Borehole
Ash, I am very sorry it had to reach this level for you… but very happy you are made of sterner stuff and are willing to defend yourself against evil (and 12 judges agree you ARE EVIL, Moobs McStalkerazz).
So suck it, Fatty… you racist stalker.
Oh…. I see the raging “Lyin’ of Lebanon” skulked behind a protective skirt on the twitterz like the raging coward he is.
Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!11!1!1eleventy!!1!
Time for some scrubbing, followed by a quick rebranding…
Of course he doesn’t realize all his tweets have been archived in multiple locations. That cloth he’s using just isn’t big enough.
How can that be? Bill said only cowards block their accounts.
Honestly I think he’s in a fury anting and plottiing half baked complaints forwarded to DAs.
It’s still a four hour drive back to Florence.
Honestly I think he’s in a fury ranting and plottiing half baked complaints forwarded to DAs.
Sure, why not? I guess that can’t hurt.
Oh, wait. Yes, it actually can hurt quite a bit. If I’m not mistaken, a DUMBFUCK’s tiny master and his erstwhile bride are being sued for just that.
Ooooooo post the butthurt here for the lulz plz.
Congrats Ash!!!!!
Rebranding underway. Perhaps a foray into clickbait promotion. SC LANDLORDS HATE HIM.
I think we can just use this for all of the Diminished Capacity Kid’s legal antics.
That is one very pneumatic and expressive blonde…
The finest kind.
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awhawhaw
someone got his hat handed to him in court today
I got served and my lawyer is going to make the rubble bounce
Rhut Rhowww……….Thats the 2nd confirmation of an attorney in Bill’s latest LulzSuit. What happens when Bill is dealing with 4 attorneys, from 4 different states and he is NOT allowed to contact the defendants in any way?? No more Twitter and Blog taunting because this is a real case. Imagine having to answer all those motions. The amount of legal related work the Cabin Boy has decided to take on is enormous.
“someone got his hat handed to him in court today”
I’m still hoping someone delivers a butter sculpture of his rear end to him so that he can be handed his fat ass in court.
What’s getting truly remarkable is the amount of lawyer fees that Slick Willy will have to pay.
LOL
ROFL at making his crap private.
As if everything hasn’t been archived by multiple sources.
Too late stolen valor Parkinson’s faking abjudicated cyberstalker. You’re screwed and the ram has touched the wall so kiss a settlement goodbye.
AS soon as he gets back to the flophouse from his eight hour bus ride and gets himself good and drunk, he’ll go public again.
He can’t help himself.
I thought the quality buslines had onboard WiFi these days.
Oh, he was traveling UNDER the bus? Guess he may as well get comfortable with that.
You misspelled ass.
Did he just sue someone who just got a restraining order against him?
Is he going for all US States and territories?
What about Europe?
He’s got one in Beijing! I doubt he’ll show to contest it. It’s a lockup at Border Control.
Let’s see. Was there something in his complaint against John about not being a cyberstalker? I wonder how all these RO’s play into that claim.
Well done Ash.
I’m going to imitate the Dumbfuck here for his next rant in violation of the restraining order.
“So when did Ms. Palmer move to Greensboro? This is important for the people to know! I just purchased all these information about her history that does not corroborate Ms. Palmer’s moving to Greensboro. Tell me now or I will sue you! Oh, no response? Then I will issue a summon forcing you to testify to this information for Brett’s website that no one reads. No, this isn’t stalking, I’m a GS-13 reporter! That’s like equivalent to a 5-star admiral in the United States Navy because I landed on the beach of Lebanon for all of 1 minute. I don’t even recognize that restraining order because I do not reside in North Carolina ergo it does not apply to me!”
Anyways good job Sarah.
He submitted himself to the jurisdiction of NC.
ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE HATE COMMENTS FOR EVIDENCE!!!
That’s what I’m talkin’ about!
So are you saying we should be commenting even more to mock the DF
Oh, heck, let’s make it 126.
Have a beer.
I wonder why ol’ Ferguson the Cat Lady hasn’t chimed in. Last time I checked, wasn’t he going all “Jaysus!” & such on the stupidity of Ash pursuing this RO?? I’m pretty sure Willy’s record of loserdom is approaching that of the girthy Bill.
He has it pretty easy, though. He eggs Billy on with no skin in the game, then he sits back and giggles as Billy has to put more salve on his butthurt.
I don’t know Ferguson and can only guess as to his motivation. But I agree, I’ve always got the sense he enjoys watching Bill flail around. Bill is just an entertaining dope to both liberals and conservatives and all those in between. Good for lots of lulz.
Bill could always test his friendship with Ferguson since he might be short of cash this month and ask him for a loan.
Sarah could change her twitter and blog header to:
North Carolina orders Bill Schmalfeldt to cease stalking me.
Maybe one of our skilled photoshop people could make some nice graphics for Sarah if she desires.
Doesn’t this mean the big dummy has to drop Sara from the case OR hire an attorney?
Pro per service of copies of legal pleadings and of discovery requests by mail or by hand by unrelated third party would be a privileged act and thus not considered to be contact proscribed by the restraining order.
Doxy, David said “no,”
But … if the owner of an RO retains a lawyer in a case brought by a pro se, the pro se has to deal with the lawyer, not the victim or his/her stalking and/or harassment.
I hope all of the defendants get lawyers (I know John and Eric have), and then Poor, Poor Unca Biwwy won’t be able to use his LulzSuit as an excuse to harass them.
Cabin Boy is too stupid, too impulsive and too psychopathic to stay in bounds.
Maybe Pinky Tusks- adaros will try and rein him in like Gail did. She needs to if she wants him to have any money for their luxury lifestyle.
Maybe she will.
On the other hand…
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
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As a sufferer of a severe brain disorder (epilepsy), but one that thankfully educated guesswork has managed to control, I’d like to point out that even with some advances in modern medicine, a suffere of my condition is is dire straits: Double the medication, and they are so powerful that they’s kill you; halve the medication, and the underlying problem would re-emerge, and each time I have a seizure, there’s a real risk of permanent brain damage, and a documented increased vulnerability to seizures in the future.
The main route for these drugs into the brain is via the liver, so I am totally banned from having alcohol, and my professionals are continually monitoring my liver to see how much stress it is under. One side-effect I’ve been warned about is that, because so much of the liver’s capacity is being taken up by the meds, that one standard drink to an average person might effectively be 3-4 standard drinks for me (untested in practice, but possible).
The side-effects of the drugs are, and continue to be, agonising in indirect ways; sometimes I wished to do myself in, because, while the drugs stopped the seizures, they left the rest of my social and physical life so far in tatters, that I believed that the cure was worse than the disease, and was willing to do myself in rather than stay in no-man’s-land.
It’s infuriating when so many areas where you try to access, are closed off, because people do not know how much liability they might be opening themselves up to, because of your past history of epilepsy.
The leap from one side of the fence, from believing that you’re sane and rational, young and bullet-proof, to the other side, realising that your brain is a contradiction-riddled, unreliable piece of tissue, was a real eye-opener for me. Think how hard it is to trust getting into bed one night, having been rushed to hospital after going to bed, apparently normal, the previous night. When you must stop trusting your brain (and your body) from keeping you safe, the whole world can become a nightmarishly-paranoid place for you to inhabit.
—-
With that personal starting point, I note in particular WJJ Hoge’s opinion that he genuinely thought that Schmalfeldt had Parkinson’s, when he saw him at some previous point.
Someone mentioned that drugs to control Parkinsons’ sometimes have a side-effect of generating grandiosity. There is a plethora of grandiosity in Bill’s various labels:
Lord of Satire
King Leonidas [? spelling?]
Music Unshackled
The Clinton Iconoclast
—-
There are real delusions of grandeur up there.
Respect is a commodity that can only be earned, not demanded.
I see that the trouble with Bill is that he has no choice but to stay on his meds, and I would be willing to cut him miles of slack on his lack of self-awareness of the grandiosity. Except, unfortunately, that he launches from that position into much dangerous territory, the damage done to others is real, and they have legitimate cause to fight back.
At a personal level, I would go back to the “Respect” comment above, remind Bill early often when he starts going off the rails, and note that the first step in earning is respect comes from measuring, tempering, modulating and moulding HIS BEHAVIOUR AND LANGUAGE in social settings, including electronic media, to find and know his personal boundaries, and be VERY careful about how he acts outside of those boundaries.
On place I worked at had a succinct way of putting this: “Any sentence starting with the word ‘You’ is fraught with potential danger.”