Breaking: I am informed that a restraining order was granted in Palmer v. Schmalfeldt.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE—I’m informed that the Cabin Boy™ was present at the hearing.

More later.

UPDATE 2—Here is the Restraining Order:

UPDATE 3—Sarah Palmer talks about today’s events over at the Artisan Craft Blog.

169 thoughts on “Qapla’

  1. I wonder if the Diminished Capacity Kid was asked to spell his name for the record … and if he got it right on the first try.

  2. Think about it for a sec. Who, in a world that hasn’t lost its mind, really needs to show up to defend against getting an RO? It’s tantamount to saying “I really need to maintain my unwanted contact with this person” isn’t it? Wouldn’t a normal person who isn’t harassing just say “go ahead and take one out because I have no desire or need to contact this person”?
    A case that comes to mind would be like BK trying to take one out on WJJH or AW and then you would want to show up not necessarily to argue against getting one released but to get it on record your objection that you have done nothing to merit such a ruling regardless of whether one is issued or not. And I don’t see DF arguing that way at all.

  3. The baliff made him remove his stupid hat, it went downhill from there

    Now he has this right to question anayone…

    Did work out so well….

    The court and the entire galeery laughed at him according to hoge cultists in attendance

  4. You know, @redheadturkey, people warned you to distract him away from his perseverations. My sympathies if you tried, now you know what you are up against.

  5. I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like South Carolina landlords are going to read about this.

  6. The address for Mr. Fakinsons on the restraining order is WRONG!!!

    And he was there and did not offer to correct it!!

    ZOMG TEH PURJERY!!1!1!!1!1!1!1!1!

    • Unless…

      The “kicked out of the hotel” claim was a head-fake, just like “ho-hum, let me know how the hearing goes” was – he only know a few tricks, and uses them repeatedly.

  7. Gee, it sure looks like the court found he stalked and harassed, jusging by that update.

  8. I see the actual order requires DUMBFUCK, and I quote, to “cease stalking the plaintiff” and also to “cease harassment the plaintiff.”

    How does one “cease” doing something unless they were doing it in the first place?

    Stalker. Harasser. Schmalfeldt.

    Now on paper in plain black and white language. Congratulations.

    • The Truth:
      “Bill Schmalfeldt and I had a discussion immediately after the settlement conference for the copyright infringement suit I filed against him. During that discussion, he made representations to me about his plan for his Internet presence going forward. I told him that, if he followed that plan, there would be no reason to follow through with my peace order petition. I encouraged him to pursue the course he outlined. I asked him to give me a reason to drop the matter, and we shook hands.

      While he seemed to be following his plan for a week or so, Schmalfeldt quickly began giving me reasons to question his sincerity. His behavior over the past week convinced me that I should not withdraw my petition.”

  9. I’d been having a rather crappy week (non-TK-related), but this news makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m sure it’s making others feel that way too (like Sarah!).

    So, we have an office pool on how long before we start reading/hearing this from a certain hotel in SC?

  10. I wonder if DF realizes the magnitude of this order. Right now I’m in a bind I want to mock the DF and point out how we had him pegged and how he stumbled into a courtroom and totally f***ed him self. On the other hand I don’t want to point out why because I don’t want to educate the blob so when he realizes how F***ed he the lulz will be non stop.

  11. My initial thought on hearing he’d actually made an appearance was “Wow! Testicular fortitude for once!” But then I realized that of course he’d showed because it was the stupidest choice he could have made. And never let it be said that Unca Biwwy doesn’t know how to reach the bottom of the stupid hole and then Keep. On. Digging. (Can we safely assume he’s well into the mantle by now?)

  12. Ash, I am very sorry it had to reach this level for you… but very happy you are made of sterner stuff and are willing to defend yourself against evil (and 12 judges agree you ARE EVIL, Moobs McStalkerazz).

    So suck it, Fatty… you racist stalker.

  13. Breitbit News
    Myrtle Beach, SC·
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    someone got his hat handed to him in court today

    I got served and my lawyer is going to make the rubble bounce

    • Rhut Rhowww……….Thats the 2nd confirmation of an attorney in Bill’s latest LulzSuit. What happens when Bill is dealing with 4 attorneys, from 4 different states and he is NOT allowed to contact the defendants in any way?? No more Twitter and Blog taunting because this is a real case. Imagine having to answer all those motions. The amount of legal related work the Cabin Boy has decided to take on is enormous.

    • “someone got his hat handed to him in court today”

      I’m still hoping someone delivers a butter sculpture of his rear end to him so that he can be handed his fat ass in court.

    • What’s getting truly remarkable is the amount of lawyer fees that Slick Willy will have to pay.

    • ROFL at making his crap private.

      As if everything hasn’t been archived by multiple sources.

      Too late stolen valor Parkinson’s faking abjudicated cyberstalker. You’re screwed and the ram has touched the wall so kiss a settlement goodbye.

      • AS soon as he gets back to the flophouse from his eight hour bus ride and gets himself good and drunk, he’ll go public again.

        He can’t help himself.

        • I thought the quality buslines had onboard WiFi these days.

          Oh, he was traveling UNDER the bus? Guess he may as well get comfortable with that.

  14. Did he just sue someone who just got a restraining order against him?

    Is he going for all US States and territories?

    What about Europe?

    • He’s got one in Beijing! I doubt he’ll show to contest it. It’s a lockup at Border Control.

  15. Let’s see. Was there something in his complaint against John about not being a cyberstalker? I wonder how all these RO’s play into that claim.

    Well done Ash.

  16. I’m going to imitate the Dumbfuck here for his next rant in violation of the restraining order.

    “So when did Ms. Palmer move to Greensboro? This is important for the people to know! I just purchased all these information about her history that does not corroborate Ms. Palmer’s moving to Greensboro. Tell me now or I will sue you! Oh, no response? Then I will issue a summon forcing you to testify to this information for Brett’s website that no one reads. No, this isn’t stalking, I’m a GS-13 reporter! That’s like equivalent to a 5-star admiral in the United States Navy because I landed on the beach of Lebanon for all of 1 minute. I don’t even recognize that restraining order because I do not reside in North Carolina ergo it does not apply to me!”

    Anyways good job Sarah.

  17. I wonder why ol’ Ferguson the Cat Lady hasn’t chimed in. Last time I checked, wasn’t he going all “Jaysus!” & such on the stupidity of Ash pursuing this RO?? I’m pretty sure Willy’s record of loserdom is approaching that of the girthy Bill.
    He has it pretty easy, though. He eggs Billy on with no skin in the game, then he sits back and giggles as Billy has to put more salve on his butthurt.

    • I don’t know Ferguson and can only guess as to his motivation. But I agree, I’ve always got the sense he enjoys watching Bill flail around. Bill is just an entertaining dope to both liberals and conservatives and all those in between. Good for lots of lulz.

      Bill could always test his friendship with Ferguson since he might be short of cash this month and ask him for a loan.

  18. Sarah could change her twitter and blog header to:

    North Carolina orders Bill Schmalfeldt to cease stalking me.

    Maybe one of our skilled photoshop people could make some nice graphics for Sarah if she desires.

  19. Pingback: Sara Palmer Talks About Today’s Events | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

  20. As a sufferer of a severe brain disorder (epilepsy), but one that thankfully educated guesswork has managed to control, I’d like to point out that even with some advances in modern medicine, a suffere of my condition is is dire straits: Double the medication, and they are so powerful that they’s kill you; halve the medication, and the underlying problem would re-emerge, and each time I have a seizure, there’s a real risk of permanent brain damage, and a documented increased vulnerability to seizures in the future.

    The main route for these drugs into the brain is via the liver, so I am totally banned from having alcohol, and my professionals are continually monitoring my liver to see how much stress it is under. One side-effect I’ve been warned about is that, because so much of the liver’s capacity is being taken up by the meds, that one standard drink to an average person might effectively be 3-4 standard drinks for me (untested in practice, but possible).

    The side-effects of the drugs are, and continue to be, agonising in indirect ways; sometimes I wished to do myself in, because, while the drugs stopped the seizures, they left the rest of my social and physical life so far in tatters, that I believed that the cure was worse than the disease, and was willing to do myself in rather than stay in no-man’s-land.

    It’s infuriating when so many areas where you try to access, are closed off, because people do not know how much liability they might be opening themselves up to, because of your past history of epilepsy.

    The leap from one side of the fence, from believing that you’re sane and rational, young and bullet-proof, to the other side, realising that your brain is a contradiction-riddled, unreliable piece of tissue, was a real eye-opener for me. Think how hard it is to trust getting into bed one night, having been rushed to hospital after going to bed, apparently normal, the previous night. When you must stop trusting your brain (and your body) from keeping you safe, the whole world can become a nightmarishly-paranoid place for you to inhabit.


    With that personal starting point, I note in particular WJJ Hoge’s opinion that he genuinely thought that Schmalfeldt had Parkinson’s, when he saw him at some previous point.

    Someone mentioned that drugs to control Parkinsons’ sometimes have a side-effect of generating grandiosity. There is a plethora of grandiosity in Bill’s various labels:

    Lord of Satire

    King Leonidas [? spelling?]

    Music Unshackled

    The Clinton Iconoclast


    There are real delusions of grandeur up there.

    Respect is a commodity that can only be earned, not demanded.

    I see that the trouble with Bill is that he has no choice but to stay on his meds, and I would be willing to cut him miles of slack on his lack of self-awareness of the grandiosity. Except, unfortunately, that he launches from that position into much dangerous territory, the damage done to others is real, and they have legitimate cause to fight back.

    At a personal level, I would go back to the “Respect” comment above, remind Bill early often when he starts going off the rails, and note that the first step in earning is respect comes from measuring, tempering, modulating and moulding HIS BEHAVIOUR AND LANGUAGE in social settings, including electronic media, to find and know his personal boundaries, and be VERY careful about how he acts outside of those boundaries.

    On place I worked at had a succinct way of putting this: “Any sentence starting with the word ‘You’ is fraught with potential danger.”

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