Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Here’s a quick summary of the lawsuits that Team Kimberlin has filed against me—

Kimberlin v. Walker, et al., summary judgment in my favor on 5 counts and a directed verdict in my favor on 2 counts at trial, affirmed by the Court of Special Appeals.

Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al. (I), all federal claims dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted.

Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al., voluntarily dismissed after 2 days.

Schmalfeldt v. Johnson, et al., dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction.

Kimberlin v. Hunton & Williams LLP, et al., dismissed for lack of subject matter jurisdiction and for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted, affirmed by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals.

Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al., dismissed for improper venue.

Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al. (II), dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted because of res judicata.

Scmalfeldt v. Grady, et al. (IV), service of process not yet effected.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Meanwhile, in Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. and Palmer v. Schmalfeldt, it’s T-minus 4 days and counting.

52 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Funny. I don’t see any of those results listed on Bunny .. um.. Billy Boy Unread.

    Must have been an oversight on their fair reporting.

  2. Running up the score. Is the some sort of Lawfare Slaughter Rule that kicks in when the score gets too great in favor of one team?

    • It makes one wonder.

      Did he outline his situation to the online lawyer and thus learn how totally #$%^%# he is?

      Did he try to call the midget and got the “Bill who?” reply indicative of total and complete under-bus throwing?

      The power of “and”?

      • I really do think it’s a true Meltdown this time and not just the standard Schmaldeldt hysteria. I think he’s totally cracking.

  3. The Council is considering formalizing terminology since a common understanding across all cultures and points of view provides shorthand which is in the interest of brevity. Conveying concepts in a way that maximizes information while requiring the least amount of words is in the interests of all who have a real life. This is EXACTLY the kind of reasoning behind ISO standards. Maximum understanding documented so you can spend the least amount of time working through said understanding.

    Par example (a little French lingo there; please voice that last with the appropriate accent as you’re reading to yourself. Go back if you need to. I can wait. See? Much better-):

    ‘Doom Clock’ is shorthand for threats conveyed implicitly in conjunction with a stated deadline (generally 12 to 24 hours). Vague consequences may or may not be tied to declaration of a Doom Clock. Said consequences never come true. Doom Clocks expire without effect and are not referenced at any later point in time by the one tossing them around. Doom Clocks are generally stated in local time, not GMT, so make sure you do the math.

    That’s the example.

    Note that ‘DUMBF5CK’, ‘Fat Bastard’, ‘Shakes’, ‘Shakey’, ‘Excellent Friend’ and ‘PedoBomber’ have all be previously agreed upon and formalized. You’re all exactly familiar with those terms and concepts. They mean the same to anybody and everybody who reads them. No explanation or backstory required.

    Current matter before The Council, currently, is ‘What constitutes a Feldtdown?’

    As of 1AM Eastern Monday morning, 10 July 2017, we note 26 tweets over the last hour. 26 tweets at midnight or after- That’s a Feldtdown.

    Question is: How many tweets over what duration constitutes a Feldtdown?

    The Council understands the 140 character limit AND stream of consciousness AND incoherent ranting AND verbal diarrhea and is leaning towards declaring 20 tweets per hour (roughly one every three seconds) a Feltdown.

    We are accepting your comments and suggestions now if you think the limit should be different.. Comment period closes 2400Z on 16 July 2017. Results will likely be announced at KIMBERFEST ’17. These things take time. You know how careful we are.

    Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

    • Errata.

      And a correction-

      Should read, ‘one every three minutes’ NOT ‘one every three seconds’.

      How that got through our multiple layers of editors and fact checkers I don’t know. Probably Kyles’ fault.


    • I think one every three minutes for an hour is good for a ‘fast burn’ Schmeldtdown. But what about the ones where he does one every ten minutes or so for 6-8 hours are more? I would categorize that as a type B, BBQ style (slow and low. IQ, that is) slow burn Scmeldtdown. Equally valid and entertaining.

      And of course it’s Kyle’s fault.

    • It’s not a Feltdown without at least:
      2)some weird word-snorting kind of noise like “yibble bibble”!!!!


  4. So what are all of our Star Trek titles:

    LOLSUIT I – The Motion for Directed Verdict
    LOLSUIT II – The Wrath of Akbar?
    LOLSUIT III – The Search for Respect?
    LOLSUIT IV – The Voyage to Milwaukee?
    LOLSUIT V – The Themis Frontier?
    LOLSUIT VI – The Undiscovered Krendler
    LOLSUIT VII – Degenerations
    LOLSUIT VIII – Avoiding Contact

    Well, we know we won’t have to change the title for his last lawsuit. He is really overdue for Nemesis.

      • I think it means the Inflataskank will have to have his posts read to her from his screen.

      • Let’s see. He has no vehicle. He can’t really walk. He has to lie down every 10 minutes. He’s too broke to go to court to defend himself. So he probably can’t rent a Uhaul or hire even cheap movers. I’ve probably missed something. Does all this mean the noble “Lady Di” will walk back and forth moving has/their sh*t and then, what, get a refrigerator dolly and haul his fat *ss to the new place?
        Yje logistics are just mind boggling.

  5. Much twitter whining recently that Blobbert has apologized for his inappropriate behavior in the past, and that he has done most of us no harm so we have no business butting in.

    So what? I am well within my rights to relate my opinion on any subject I choose. Anyone else can choose to read it, ignore it, respond, elaborate, whatever. If it’s someone else blog, they are free to moderate as they see fit.
    All of this applies to Blobbert, as well. He is as free to stick up for a domestic terrorist pedophile as I am to criticize him for it.

    • I seem to remember ole Billy suggesting that he had numerous people that might intervene on his behalf despite no harm having been done to them.

      Same as it ever was with The Fail Wail: “Rules for thee…”

      • Were those the folks who “owed his old man a favor”?

        If so, most of them are in their eighties or nineties, and the rest are pushing up daisies.

        Quakin’ in our boots, we were, last time that threat was trotted out…

        I expect to hear it again, soon. LULZy!

        • Well, despite his fearsome claims that some would take care of things without even bothering to contact him, the only ones he managed to russle up were a very polite in-law (who made only one appearance) and couple of not-so-polite skirts to hide behind (who gave up after just a couple of days).

          I’ve long since forgotten their names and if only Billy showed that level of intelligence, few here would remember his.

          But when you spend years trying to piss people off, it works. Who knew?

    • Yes, AJ. Also, He should recognize that all those he named have a special journamalism exemption, to boot.

    • Blobbert also seems to think any opinion about him and his behavior that he dislikes must be proven true to avoid defamation. No, Fatsack, you must prove by a preponderance of the evidence that not only is the statement in question false, but that the speaker knew it was false or recklessly disregarded whether it was true. Everything that makes us think, for example, that you’re faking PD, comes straight from you. This a hurdle you will never surmount.

  6. “tomorrow morning, this blog will go private until Friday.”

    Promises, promises.

    Pool is up in the breakroom, $5 per 30 minute slot, slots available through 12:01am Friday!

  7. At first I thought that _I_ was going to be able to claim credit for driving Bill Schmalfeldt OFF THE INTERNET because I documented last nights Feldtdown. But- He’s on twitter this morning…

    I see it’s his blog he’s taking private. Somewhere I never ever go since it serves primary as a doxx trap-

  8. Another pool is up in the break room. Will Bill show up for court on Friday? I’ve already put my vote in as YES. I really think he’ll actually nut up for once is his cowardly existence and act like a man. Of course he’ll have less luck this time then he had even against the 3 year old.

    • I think he’s already stated his intention to call the courthouse to request appearing by Skype.

      If the court allows it he will appear that way. If not he won’t show up at all and then claim his poor pitiful self is having his disability used against him unfairly. Maybe he’ll even add NC to his threatened ADA lawsuit.

      • I tend to agree with this. He’ll appear remotely if he’s allowed, but not at all if he has to be there in person.

        Is there a side bet for him presenting a bill for his travels to either the court or Ash?

  9. “See You Friday! Or will I?”

    First reaction was, “Who gives a rat’s ass?”

    Second reaction was, “You should go, Bill. It’s in you own best interests.”

    Third reaction was, “Hey, Deb Frisch always spoke in veiled threats, just like this. Of course, she’s a convicted felon now, so…”

      • So I know what the Romans think of that. What is the opinion of the Eastern Orthodox?

        FWIW, I think the Jews would refer to it as a mitzvah.

      • sad fact of warped psychologies is that narcissists and psychopaths rarely, rarely do that. Manic depressives, on the other hand…

        • That’s because malignant Narcissists constantly reminded that their victims want them gone, and suicide would be giving their victims what the victims wanted.

          Perhaps that could be flipped with a little reverse psychology? Never express any hope or desire for the Narcissist to suicide. Instead, articulate in graphic detail how miserable the person would be who found their body, all the guilt their targets would feel, and what a burden the death would be on their heirs and the probate court.

          Paradoxically, could Cousin Roy be the only reason DF is still alive?

  10. 6m

    Please let it be Walker. Please let it be Walker. It doesn’t matter, but PLEASE let it be Walker.

    Said the guy who ended up face down in the gutter after he curb stomped him in Wisconsin


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