140 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Now why would someone need to get a No Contact order against benevolent Bill Schmalfeldt? I’m sure this is being emailed to all kinds of South Carolina landlords.

  2. Bill, Bill, Bill….

    You know what the first rule of holes is, right Cabin Boy?
    When you find yourself in one, STOP DIGGING.

  3. Well, he has to show up for this. Otherwise, all his railing about how having a hearing in Rockingham county violated his rights to have it in Guilford…or something. If he doesn’t show, that’ll prove he was just being an obsessive creep, again. Odd, that.

  4. I seriously doubt he cares one whit about this. He won’t bother to show, of course. And he thinks it won’t hurt him at all in any of his vexatious lawfare or his stalkings. A fool thinks himself wise and refuses to learn from the wisdom of others.

  5. Cabin Boy is moving again:

    Wait. He thinks where he IS is a nice motel?

  6. I suspect that this is going to getting better. So very much better.

    Understand that this is just a theory of mine and I have no background knowledge whatsoever.

    But it seems to me that if you present yourself as a pro se litigant, exactly like a lawyer, you’re held to the same code of conduct that lawyers are in relation to communication with the other side.

    Maybe Canada’s different, but I’m pretty sure lawyers aren’t supposed to act like Schmaleldt has the last few days.

    I’d expect a motion for sanctions to accompany Ash’s motion to dismiss. How that impacts a DUMBFUCK’s IFP status should be fun to watch.

    • FRCP Rule 26(d)(1)
      Timing. A party may not seek discovery from any source before the parties have conferred as required by Rule 26(f), except in a proceeding exempted from initial disclosure under Rule 26(a)(1)(B), or when authorized by these rules, by stipulation, or by court order.

  7. The Twitter Attorney at Law has revealed his 5 year plan to work hard, save and wisely invest his money so he can become a homeowner, like the rest of us. Except, his fat ass is uneducated, unemployed, and only has a few years left on this earth. Without educating the monkey too much, Bill should be much more worried about his government handouts being garnished going forward.

    • That would be rough…

      Sleeping on the streets, having all his cool toys stolen or hocked, eating out of trash cans, bellowing at his fate (and the clouds – HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!!!!), regular beat downs from the other streetfolk…

      Yeah, this is gunna be gud!!!

      (Ya ever wonder where stewbums come from, Cousin? You should be getting a warm feeling, right about now, as you circle the drain…)

  8. Hmmmm, “Transient” Bill seems to be melting down over jurisdiction concerns.

    RE: this alleged landlord denying him. He should sue Google for crawling the internet. They have deeper pockets. Hey, and who knows, it’s the 9th circuit.

    99% of websites on the internet allow Google to crawl and that doesn’t create jurisdiction. + Hoge and other lickspittle sites aren’t responsible for google’s algorithms. Granted, Hoge is a great engineer but I doubt he had a hand in Google search.

    Hey Bill, will you ever tell us what proof or residency paperwork you provided SC DMV for form MV-94?

    PLEASE NOTE: IANAL but believe because Bill won’t answer my questions about form MV-94 he is a transient person in South Carolina and not a resident. The above “Transient Bill” is hyperbole and not a statement of fact.

    • Offer not valid without a Doom Clock, BadgerBob-

      Govern yourself accordingly. Because you know Bill is a very busy man deadlines help him prioritize.

  9. My money is on him moving state.

    And the while “landlords use google too”… Lol.

    Thing is blob, even if you successfully sue every person in the US who writes about you now, you are never going to rehabilitate your image.

    Of course the way out is obvious, but its the one thing you will never do.

      • From what I’ve seen on the Telly, there’s a place in Alaska where he and his imaginary friends could live in peace and solitude.

        ‘Course, even the locals would probably think he’s crazy, but that just ups the rep out in the backwoods. And he’d have to find someone to hunt, cut firewood, and all the rest.

    • Well, maybe they do it differently in SC, but I recall last time we rented (admittedly 15 years ago) we had to fill out an application which listed our last x residences, or maybe it was where we’d lived during the last x years. Just a thought, but they might have contacted the landlords that way.

      And if he’s so positive his “cutting edge satire” (/sarc) isn’t porn, he should run it past an SC judge or two and see what they think. It certainly meets the popular definition, even if not the legal one.

      He might just want to check his and his fiance’s credit scores. That could have far more to do with things than anything he’s put on the net.

      Or it could be that he knows it’s their credit ratings, but he’s trying to set up another thing to add to LulzSuit VIII.

      • I only rent for two years and it was so long ago I don’t even remember what if any application I filled. I prolly did I just don’t remember. I always owned my homes. I started to save for my frist home when I was 15.

    • Well, let’s see. YOU’VE PUT EVERY BIT OF THAT ON THE INTERNET, DUMBF*CK! Perhaps one day you’ll learn to STFU once in a while.

    • Isn’t the IFP status public record? And Bill, you posted the letter from MSFT and put a transcript of one of your “skits” into court records.

  10. Alright, Shakey, I’m going to lay this down, not because I expect you to be educated, but because I want to establish a record that can be referred to.

    No one is directing anything towards South Carolina landlords. That would be far less ambitious than reality. No, we are directing the truth toward EVERY HUMAN BEING THAT MIGHT POSSIBLY SUFFER THE INDIGNITY OF HAVING TO DEAL WITH YOU. It is an honorable duty to ensure that anyone that can do a Google search knows the truth about you.

    I only hope that somebody at the Social Security Administration sees a Team Free Speech thread and realizes that you are scamming the taxpayers to feed your corpulent self. I want that gone. I want your fraudulent government “mincome” to be revoked. I want your survival to be dependent upon the kindness of strangers. I want you to debase yourself to abandon any conceit of arrogance, and literally beg for sustenance. I want you to come to the realization that you are a parasite whose very survival depends on the tolerance of your hosts.

    I only want that because then might you find redemption. Because your idiotic revenge fantasies will NEVER come true. EVER.

    You could have redemption. God guaranteed it by becoming a man and dying for you, personally. But you vomit on that promise every day. Your petty arrogance and lashing out only proves that you reject that gift. You are unworthy. And you will pay the price for denying God.

    You know this, but you deny anyway.

    God desperately wants you to change. He will forgive you.

    Spend some time in prayer. You have little time left.

    Imagine a Bill Schmalfeldt, a William Schmalfeldt, a Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt that spent his life caring only for what is physically around him. A man that is meek, and giving. A man that sacrifices for others.This sounds awesome, but it means a Bill that:

    1. Doesn’t lash out at critics.
    2. Does not seek revenge.
    3. Does seek to make the lives of everybody around him better, WITHOUT concern for his own objectives.
    4. That puts the lives of people, including strangers and “enemies” in such high regard that you do not seek revenge, but an opportunity to minister,

    I fear the opposite is the reality:
    You aren’t man enough,
    You aren’t intellectually honest enough.
    You don’t actually believe enough, it at all.
    I fear that you do not know Jesus AT ALL.

    Your move, Bill. Choose wisely. The consequences are dire and eternal. Pray and fear.

    • And I want a pony.

      No offense, man, but that opportunity’s WELL past for Bill. I was among the folks imploring him to change his tune — that it wasn’t too late to find redemption — a year or so ago.

      Now? Our Gracious Host says it best: murum aries attigit.

    • I have said the same to Bill endless timrs, I have offered to go to him in person to hear his confession and grant him absolution at my own expense. Good luck, Bill hates God and His creation … Sucks to be Bill.

  11. “Lady Di and I got rejected as tenants for a very nice residence today. I asked why. ‘All the negative info about you on Google,’ was reply,”

    I call BULL$H!T. While it’s quite plausible that a landlord would Google his name and NOPE NOPE NOPE that application into the trashcan, I really really doubt they’d give that reason (which oh-so-conveniently supports his current narrative of Schmalfeldt-the-Victim!) to a nutjob they supposedly just researched and discovered is a vexatious serial pro-se litigant, and target of several peace orders.. That’s as believable as his forged transcript of Amazon customer service “confirming” his fail-dox back in 2014.

    If he’s getting rejected by landlords, I’d suspect it’s because his name is in a legitimate landlord database due to an eviction or two he’s failed to mention, despite his chronic oversharing. Equally plausible, they’re seeing public records of his lawsuits… and what landlord on the planet wants a tenant that sues over butthurt?

    Did he and his “lady” meet with the landlord personally? Does he have the foggiest clue the alarm bells that their demeanors and appearances set off? Sorry, but to a socially conservative person (South Carolina, HELLO?!?!) they give off serious psycho and drug addict vibes.

    He’d never admit it, lacking even a tiny mote of self-awareness… But if William “Bill” Schmalfeldt were a landlord, he’d RUN SCREAMING from tenants such as Broadway Bill and Lady Di, without having to dive into the uncounted THOUSANDS of hits that Googling “Bill Schmalfeldt” will generate.

  12. So when you lose your case, what are you going to do then? Get a van and live down by the Waccamaw River? Wait, I don’t think a VW van or any type of van will fit you and your fat ass. You might need to get a trailer and ask some guy with a semi to move you around.

  13. Does the ‘Twitter Attorney at Law’ realize if he attempts to use this alleged negative landlord interaction against the defendants, that landlord will testify about the encounter. When he testifies in court that he did NOT refuse Bill/Die because of things on Google, they will be in serious trouble.

    • First he would have to amend his complaint. That’s not a given. He surely wouldn’t get agreement of the parties, and leave from the court is no sure thing. But if he were to clear that hurdle, then he could make this claim and open the door to every bit of the Bill Schmalfeldt sewage the internet contains coming into evidence. LOL!

    • And it’s sweet Karma that that story is at the top of the Google search.

      It’s all the truth, Bill. No hiding from that. If I were a landlord and read that, I’d want nothing to do with you.

  14. OK Bill. I’ll accept the challenge and google your name.

    Well, looky there. Only ONE Lickspittle blog on the first page (uh, you people need to step things up), two if you include Stacy. Looking further, my first 100 results have each TFS blog only once (as would be expected). The other 90ish are other people documenting Bill’s bad behavior.

    Yet another in a long line of fails for Schmalfaildt.

    • The best ones, Lee Stranahan and Ken White, are beyond the statute of limitations.

      But Cabin Boy just made every old Google result about him admissible . …. 😂 😂 😂

  15. 1. How is pauper status a lie? He has filed for IFP 4 or 5 times, hasn’t he? And it has been granted?
    2. What “lies about Lady Di”?
    3. People can read and listen to what he wrote – and sells on Amazon – and make up their own minds. There’s a reason a lot of his stuff carries a content warning.
    4. Landlords CONTACT past landlords, especially when a person has moved twice in four months. Innuendos are unecessary, given that would-be tenants sign background check agreements.

  16. Looks like Bill’s attention is now focused on “The Landlord Situation”. What an absolute joke!! Can he be anymore pathetic with his idiotic accusations and false anger. Grow up Bill, you disgusting fatbody, nobody believes your obvious lies.

    If he continues along these lines, then he MUST provide proof and name the landlord. I can think of several South Carolina attorneys who will want to speak to this landlord.

    It will be in the Cabin Boys best interest to provide the correct name, address, phone number and email address so this matter can be resolved quickly. Bill stands accused of perjury in The Twitter Court of Law. As an officer of The Court he has a duty to clear up all suspected falsehoods and misunderstandings.

  17. He really does NOT understand how this works. Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that he does win his case. Now what?
    1. Just because you ask for a bunch of money, doesn’t mean you get it. The judge awarded BK $100 against Seth Allen. That’s it.
    2. Let’s assume, however, that BS gets a larger judgment. Then what? APPEALS. Lots of them. It has been almost three (?) years, and one or more of BK’s suits against Hoge, et al, are still winding their way through the courts.
    3. Let’s assume that after several YEARS, BS prevails on appeal. Now he has to [REDACTED] judgment, and collect. Ask Mrs. DeLong how that has worked out.

    • keep in mind that Shakey himself said Hoge “won’t get a penny!!” or words to that effect, along with claiming that while he wasn’t saying he would refuse to pay any judgement, none of his income is garnishable.

      OH but he’s gonna win his case and collect $$$$, enough to buy a house!!11!!

      um…
      Nope.

  18. His Google reputation hurt him? How about his credit report? He just filed for, and was granted pauper status in a court case. He hasn’t had a steady job in years. If his credit score is over 300, I’d be amazed. And what references did he provide? Either of the last two landlords who evicted him? He’s lying again – he was denied because he is a financial cesspit – no private landlord who does an adequate reference/credit/background check would take him. Cheap-ass motels or publlic housing for him for the remainder of his days.

  19. Hey, remember when Bill was writing daily about MJ being a “KIDDIE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKERRRRRRR”? Good times. Of course Bill doesn’t have to follow the rules he wants everyone else to follow.

  20. Bill, I know you are exceedingly stupid but could you point out the lie in my statement? You lived in Clinton. You had a roof over your head. You published the words “These are my people” did you not? You said they knew you there and you could live there in peace for the rest of your life. But you fled the state. Why? Nothing was compelling you to move. You claim to have a girlfriend in SC. Fine, live out that fantasy in your head. Why couldn’t she move to you? You…I mean she….claims to have no kids. No job. Apparently she had no roof over her head or you would have moved in with her. So where is the lie in what I wrote? Are you that desperate to be the victim that you have to lie about lies? SMDH, you need mental health counseling for these delusions of yours. They seem to be getting worse.

    • Cabin Boy shares The Dread Pedo’s delusion that he can convince a court that truthful recitation of facts and Cabin Boy’s own words are “lies”. Not happening.

      And he still doesn’t get that opinions are protected and are not defamation.

    • yeah, Iowa is nice in the summer, the cost of living lower than Myrtle Beach in high season. Why not have family scout you a place in SC if the long-term was for the pair of you to marry and stick around (her) family – and move there when all is settled? Why couldn’t she come stay with you? Why did you pull up stakes when you were in a place of “your people” ?

  21. BS once said that his late wife bought the trailer in Elkridge, and that he had never been able to purchase a home. Now, he’s hitching his home ownership dream to the amorphous success of his lawsuit.

    This home ownership thing has always puzzled me. BS is a vet, right? VA loans are NO MONEY DOWN. He doesn’t need a down payment. Why hasn’t he ever taken advantage of this veterans’ benefit, or the GI Bill, etc..? I am not very knowledgeable in this area, but perhaps some vets here can fill me in.

      • Exactly. He was, indeed, *honorably* discharged. He posted his discharge papers. There are all sorts of veterans groups that help with this. His mortgage payment would be less than what he is paying the motel.

        • Well,there are some people who never own property in their own name, mainly to shield assets from creditors or judgments (see also excellent friends.) I don’t actually know anything about his financial history that he hasn’t published himself, it always struck me as peculiar he was retired from a decently paying job and had no present, on paper property interest in his home, or any home. I figured he was hiding from judgements or had really bad credit, or spent impulsively.

          • GS-13 pay is between $70K and $93K as I recall. I agree with you Bill gave up a fair amount of money not to work.

            But- Tradeoffs and all that.

  22. Isn’t there something in the vaults from Bill to the effect of “Go ahead. Let them Google me. They’ll see that ALL the lies come from right wing nutjobs!” in reply to the 10 millionth person who said “Google ‘Bill Schmalfeldt'”? How’s that working out, Nostradumbass?

    But those who say he just made up the conversation–yep. Oh, I believe he got rejected. I even believe it was a “nice place”, at least compared to the Motel Hell he’s in now. Maybe the new place has walls that won’t crumble if the roaches stop holding hands. I mean, anything would be a step up, right?

    But one reason this new place would have been better it because the owner does not rent out to every gross couple of paupers who show up. If the gruesome twosome showed up at my door I would take one look and immediately need to hear some class A conversation to overcome my initial judge-a-book-by-its-cover revulsion. When lady Di opened her mouth I’m not sure I’d hear a word she said over the sound of my eyes screaming. When Bill opened his maw and started talking…well, despite his claim to be “a charming fellow when he wants to be”, I doubt that my initial impression would not be validated.

    And having googled him I would fall to my knees and thank St Amand, the patron saint of innkeepers, for inventing such a wonderful way to weed out the vermin. But would I TELL him that? No, I wouldn’t. Nobody would. Tell a victim of chronic butthurt who loves to sue for torts that don’t exist that I turned him down because he’s a victim of chronic butthurt who loves to sue for torts that don’t exist? I’m an innkeeper, not a moron or member of Team Kimberlin but I repeat myself.

    Who would need that grief? Sure, being a horrible human being is not a protected class. He would have no case. But that doesn’t slow him down, does it? Bill’s imaginary conversations always validate his obsession du jour. Strange how the ones that can be verified, say, in court, do not go quite so swimmingly. Huh. Odd.

  23. One possible solution would be to quit South Carolina and leave no forwarding address. I believe that is known in certain circles as the Wisconsin Slip Sliding Away. Of course that might create a problem with Diseased Willy’s most recently filed complaint because I seem to recollect him being on record as saying that South Carolina is the appropriate forum for those claims.

    Another possible solution would be to claim that Bulbous Bill’s most recent flare up of DISEASE excuses him from attending court anywhere except his motel room, which is never a courtroom except when he wants it to be. This is known as the Maryland Self-Destruction Trick.

    Finally, Witless could just forget to show up (his faulty memory you know) to argue his case. This North Carolina No Show Tactic may be why he was defeated by a three year old (though I am told that this particular toddler is very articulate and makes very googly eyes at the judge). I believe failing to appear has never failed to achieve results.

    However, Diseased Willie is guaranteed to win (in Twitter court).

    • Oops This was supposed to be a reply to a post WAY UP the thread.

      Given Diseased Willy’s little landlord problem, he may not want to give up his current residence. Landlords have found it easier never to let a problem in the door than to throw one out.

      Let’s see. To sue for defamation, the statements must be false (among other requirements). Questions to ponder.

      Some things a landlord might find as practical grounds for refusing to rent? Serial litigant? Court recognized pauper? Income protected from garnishment? Multiple peace orders? Just what induced the prospective landlord to say nay? None of the preceding? Some of the preceding? All of the preceding? Is it reckless disregard for the truth to allege such things? Can Bulbous Bill keep straight the rules of procedure for the federal, Maryland, and South Carolina courts?

  24. Such statements are defensible, as truth is an absolute defense. The first is defensible by Maryland law, which includes DUMBF*CK’s audio depections of cub scouts being anally raped in their definition of child pornography.

    §11–207. Child pornography

    (a) A person may not:
    (1) cause, induce, solicit, or knowingly allow a minor to engage as a subject in the production of obscene matter or a visual representation or performance that depicts a minor engaged as a subject in sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct;
    (2) photograph or film a minor engaging in an obscene act, sadomasochistic abuse, or sexual conduct;
    (3) use a computer to depict or describe a minor engaging in an obscene act, sadomasochistic abuse, or sexual conduct;

    Bolding mine. You did that repeatedly, Blob. Fact: The statement “Bill Schmalfeldt produced numerous pieces of child pornography” is true.

    The second statement is defensible by noting DUMBF*CK’s amazing, miraculous improvement, something that just doesn’t happen to people with Parkinson’s. DUMBF*CK’s letter to Judge Grimm in which he describes himself as wheelchair bound and facing imminent death 3 years ago versus his happily jaunting about America today is all the evidence one would need to reasonably conclude and subsequently claim that “Bill Schmalfeldt is faking having Parkinson’s disease.”

    You can stomp your nutfeet all you like, Blob, but you have no case.

  25. Bill is on record as saying that if Hoge wins it won;t matter because he has not intention of paying his court ordered fines and nobody can garnish his pauper’s handouts from Uncle Sam.

    “Hey, let’s rent to a pauper who has declared himself immune to any court orders.” said no landlord ever.

    The chickens have come home to roost, Bill. Gail was the only reason you were able to keep a roof over your head. Your new victim is not in any better shape than you are and you’re probably going to end up dragging her down.

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