This is what the U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina Information on Representing Yourself in a Civil Action says about subpoenas on page 16—
Notice to Other Parties Before Service. If the subpoena commands the production of documents, electronically stored information, or tangible things or the inspection of premises before trial, then before it is served on the person to whom it is directed, a notice and a copy of the subpoena must be served on each party.
—Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 45(a)(4)
So The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt won’t get any subpoenas issued until after the Court has granted a motion allowing them (a motion that would likely be opposed), and if he gets any subpoenas, he can’t serve them until he has served a copy on each defendant.
Nothing is likely to proceed as the Cabin Boy™ has hallucinated.