Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Gentle Reader who has been following the twists and turns of the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit may remember that defendants were not especially cooperative with my discovery requests and that they failed to seek any discovery from me before discovery closed. A few days ago, I received a belated request for production of documents and a deposition notice from the Kimberlins. I sent them this reply.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

T-minus 8 days and counting.

113 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. I am having trouble counting the various failures the defendants have indulged themselves in. Perhaps someone needs to take continuing education classes.

    No documents or depositions to review does have this advantage: it does not take long to prepare for trial.

  2. Mr. H, this is most untoward. Do you think you’ve left the Kimberlins enough time to cancel the stenographer and videographer they must have arr-

    Oh.

    OHH!!

    Very well played, sir.

    My compliments.

  3. The gall of the sawed-off, domestic terrorist Brett “The Speedway Bomber” Kimberlin knows no bounds. So, what’s next? Does he shoot off a whiny, stompy-foot letter to the judge?

    Where’s Neal? We might need a good, ol “Dear Mommy Judge” letter written for poor, widdle Bwett.

    This self-important, vexatious, dwarf felon is such a pompous ass. *spit*

    • “The facts that plaintiff
      a) has a calendar, and
      b) knows how to use it
      clearly prejudice this case, and it must therefore be dismissed.”

      • 😂 Purdy much!

        I’ll tell ya… I could not love our Gentle Host’s response more:

        Dear Brett,

        Pound sand.

        Very truly yours,

        W. J. J. Hoge

        The most polite and professional “pound sand” ever. lol!

        • The only thing I wish our host had included was a Ken White patented invitation to “Snort my taint.”

          But yes, Brett will indeed file a motion for sanctions and ask for all sorts of money and a dismissal. Even I can foresee that one.

          • I like the idea in principle, but when the other side is saying things like “beats the hell out of me, poop flake!” class and decorum count for a lot.

    • So, what’s next? Does he shoot off a whiny, stompy-foot letter to the judge?

      That’s what I’m guessing… asking the suit be dismissed and maybe sanctions because of no response.

      • I’d have to check, but I seem to recall him refusing further discovery to Hoge, or even putting his heap of papers in order and numbering them, and then basically saying when Hoge complained, “Discovery’s closed, suck it.”

        Which means he knew the discovery deadlines, a couple months ago… and documented that fact to the court.

  4. *sad trombone*

    I remember him getting so indignant when I didn’t give discovery I had no obligation to provide…

    • Lol I’m guessing that’s the case. I guess he will be…. Surprised…. When he finds it isn’t so.

      Speaking of that, I’m still awaiting my summons to compel me to testify at said trial. Guess Bill better get on that, eh?

      • Really, your honor, this is all your fault. Ive been operating under the assumption that this case would go to trial in the autumn, despite your saying no already I’m still waiting for you to reset the date so that I can be there.

  5. B-17G “My Gal Hil’ skids to a stop inside the United Nations Star Ship Che Guevara landing bay after sliding a additional 18 inches. Inertial dampers strained to the max-

    Shot up. Leaking fuel and hydraulics. Smoke everywhere. Number 3 engine is windmilling like crazy-

    Captain Schmalfeldt instantly recognizes his predicament; and this is a FIRST.

    Shut down the remaining engine. “Gas off. Mags off. Batteries off.” Bill looks to his co-pilot, Bunny Boy, to complete the checklist but sees his comrade is pinned through the chest with a light saber. Which is still glowing.

    “MEDIC!”

    The plane captain unstraps. “Macintosh. REPORT! How did we get transported here? The White House was SO close!”

    Macintosh responds, “I ordered the transport. Captain, if you look at your windscreen you’ll see multiple .45 caliber holes traversing right to left. The next one, in the sequence, would have centered your forehead perfectly. I myself issued the order for transport because your calendar shows a appointment 8 days from now.”

    “Mac, are you telling me Trump himself was shooting at me? And accurately? Surely that was the Secret Service!”

    “Yes Captain. It was Trump himself. The Secret Service was busy with off-the-record meetings at the New York Times. Man’s gotta’ do what a man’s gotta do. Apparently. Is it possible you’ve misjudged this guy?”

    Schmalfeldt seethes. Grabs the bag Kimberlin left him- Can’t let that go.

    “Take us out of orbit.”

    To be continued.

    Or maybe not. Depends on how high this thing goes.

  6. INT. Brett Kimbo’s Basement – Morning

    Brett Kimbo, an elderly near-midget in his sixties, WAKES up to a beeping alarm clock. He turns it off and rolls over to look at a woman besides him in chains. Somehow she continues to sleep, a tear falls from her eye.

    BRETT KIMBO:
    See if you ever leave me for another man, bitch.

    INT. Brett Kimbo’s Office – Moments later

    Brett Kimbo turns on a computer monitor and sits down. The website is Hobewash.com and he presses a worn down F5 button.

    Brett Kimbo (screaming):
    Hoooobbbeeeee! You son of a bitch, how dare you outlawyer a prison lawyer
    like me.

    GRABS his cell phone and frantically pushes a saved phone number.

    Brett Kimbo (crying):
    Willy, oh my Willy, that jerk won’t attend my deposition. He says discovery is over.

    Brett Kimbo listens briefly and begins to smile.

    Brett Kimbo:
    I can’t wait either. June 28th is so close and I miss you so. Remember to bring the
    girl scout uniform. You look so good in that.

    please note this screenplay is a work of fiction and not actual events as far as I know.

  7. Wait…..Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November; all the rest have thirty-one, except for February alone. So of the trial is on August 21st….carry the one….ought from ought…….Nope, sorry Brett, you are screwed.

  8. I have to say, this is going to end up being one of my favorite tweets to keep throwing back at Bill evah!

    • Question: fair use for parody and comment extends to audio, right? So I could take a sample from a podcast and, um, build a parody around it, right?

      Anyone familiar with the works of Dickie Goodman?

    • Listen to the podcast. Where he was drunk/altered off his not-so-small derriere. Where he REVELED IN THE PAIN OF SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILDREN. Because he thinks that MJ is this guy. Because of Sonora and the year 1980. That’s it.

      Riiiiight! Kind of like how Bill spent the better portion of a month saying he was going to add this completely innocent person to his lawsuit that he claimed that I was. Right.

      • “Listen to the podcast.”

        Why do you hate us so? lol!

        In all seriousness, the first half of the podcast is horrific. From the comment I posted last evening on the “Logins” post:

        “The blatant lack of compassion for the victims of these crimes, the disgusting commentary and “jokes” and creepy chortling, and the sick-and-twisted, evil perversion the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt and his slimy sidekick displayed while retelling such a horrendous story with the utmost of disturbing details regarding children, is all the proof I need (without question!) that neither one of these depraved individuals are fit for polite society.

        They quite apparently deserve each other… and, have no reason whatsoever to be in the company of children and/or grandchildren… ever!”

        It is so NSFW, and is some of the most vile and disturbing nonsense that has ever been vomited onto the intertoobz. *smfh*

        But, the last half? Hilarious! The Blob’s slurring, and his slimy sow’s attempts at contributing… well… ANYthing of substance is mind blowing. The fact these two incompetent, mentally-challenged asshats take themselves seriously at all is hysterical!

        And, the trolling! OMG! The trolling! Even with hours of pre-podcast limbering of my LULZ muscles… I’m still feeling the strain and pain today. 😂

    • He promised on his podcast he would apologize if he was wrong. Well, I gave him conditions for accepting his apology. We’ll see if he is man enough to admit he was wrong when he ultimately fails here.

  9. Who will Bill blame when he figures out he has “discovered” the wrong person? A person who Bill says left a huge trail of breadcrums for him to follow?

    ps FAILDOX FAILDOX FAILDOX FAILDOX FAILDOX

    • Duh. It’s MJ’s fault for not contacting Bill, providing a phone number, physical address, copies of his birth certificate and driver’s license, and a deposit of $1000. MJ FORCED Bill to do this.

      • Once your FELDTCHART answers that question, you move on to “why were the breadcrumbs left to lead to THAT person?”

        One hopes enlightenment is reached BEFORE the brass knuckles are applied.

        Or not depending on how you like your LULZ…

      • There were no breadcrumbs. Nobody could have forseen a faildox on this information.

        -The year 1980 as starting high school.
        -A Twitter account called “Sonoran Conservative” with the location listed as “Southwest”, and a picture of the SONORAN DESERT and a saguaro cactus, the defining plant of the aforementioned SONORAN DESERT. From there he obviously concludes………duh, Sonora, California.

        And the faildox is off and running.

        I’m in awe of his stupidity.

        • I think Roy is implying–that’s “imputing” for Biwwy–that Roy may know where those breadcrumbs came from….

          • Pfffft, Bill could find birdseed at a bird sanctuary and figure it was a trail leading him to someone. He really is that stupid. The confirmation bias is strong in the rotund one.

        • “There were no breadcrumbs.”

          I wouldn’t be so sure about that, bystander.

          I’m not familiar with how long you’ve been hanging around the Zombie Lickspittles, but a while back we all sat in awe as the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt tried (FAIL!), tried (FAIL!), and tried AGAIN to d0x our good friend agiledog.

          Do you happen to remember what finally led the Blob to agiledog? Yep. One simple click on AD’s username (It’s not as if agiledog was hiding from the impotent boob, because seriously… who actually fears BS? Besides NO ONE.)

          I’m actually more in the “What the hell took the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt so long to click on MJ’s username, and connect the Sonoran Conservative blog and Twitter account?” camp.

          Breadcrumbs? I’ll just leave it at… heh.

          • So true, Grace. While I found it funny, the two women that he faildoxed first did NOT find it funny. I think if he had pursued that second woman another day, he’d already be in the double digit restraining order count.

        • Maybe he really ought to take that tour of the US, then he would understand that the Sonoran Desert covers California, Arizona, Mexico and some in New Mexico.

          For a Interwebs Master, he sure is a DumbF#ck

          • “then he would understand that the Sonoran Desert covers California, Arizona, Mexico and some in New Mexico.”

            And the iconic Saguaro Cactus can only be found in ONE of those named US States, as well as northern Mexico. (I used to have one of those big wonderful things in my yard. Live in Texas now, the only cactus we see is prickly pear and not much of that)

  10. I find it very appropriate, and very funny that the newest tropical storm to form in the Caribbean (just off the South American coast) is named Bret. Even the National Hurricane Center wants in on tweaking Brett this year. 😀

  11. Here’s the thing- Shakey probably already knows he’s doxxed the wrong guy, but he’s proceeding under the retarded theory that the real MJ will step up to prevent an “innocent” person from being haled into court. But he picked a freaking child molester as his hostage!!!

    See the flaw in your plan, moron? You actually hope to force a convicted sex offender to travel from one end of the country to the other and stand in the same room with you, knowing full well that the reasons are bogus.

    You know, I hear sex offenders have to get pretty tough or die in the klink. Might want to brush up on those Kung Fat skills, dummy.

  12. NEWSFLASH – BREAKING!

    I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT MICHAEL JACKSON WAS ACTUALLY A BLACK MAN!

    And he and his 4 siblings had some kind of recording group. That child molestation stuff was never really proved, you know. Oh, but don’t get me started on Bubbles…..

  13. Ron Coleman, who has been involved in fighting the harassment and failed intimidation of Team Kimberlin, had a big win yesterday at the Supreme Court.

  14. Oh my god, why is my phone ringing the last couple days. Who is calling me from an 843 number?

  15. So Bill is saying that if he accuses someone of something that that something must be true unless the accused contacts Bill and turns over lots of personal information. That’s not the way it works. That’s not the way ANY of this works. If Bill weren’t just a jackwagon I might feel sorry for someone going through life that stupid.

        • Ok TOLF, how about this: Bill’s predilection for topics regarding the lower half of the alimentary canal and non consensual sex indicate latent or hidden homosexuality. He can deny it, but mere denials will not suffice. He needs to prove it.

          • “Latent” and “hidden” don’t apply to Bill, in this case.

            I fully expect to see him in a rainbow tie-dyed muu-muu before the year is out…

            Oh, hell, run with it:

            Pool is up in the breakroom!!!

    • I don’t.

      I hope karma comes curb stomping along to someone who deserves it beyond measure.

      But I am not a very forgiving sort.

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