105 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Want to bet the judge asks her why she wasn’t there and she says, “What hearing? Brett, you didn’t tell me about a hearing.”

    • Having thought about it for a little while, I have a suggestion for Bill, as it’s obvious he needs to do something with his fingers and twitter is the only outlet.

      Get a fidget spinner, Bill. You’ll thank me.

      • You know, I remember back when we were imploring him to give up his madness. I was seriously thinking about trying to get him into online gaming.

        I mean, good grief, it’d be more productive than being the Pedobomber’s butt-boy. And probably more fun. There are many cheap (if not free) -good- games out there, and many digital-download retailers run regular sales (yeah, I’m a Steam addict… bite me).

  2. Any bets on whether or not the Pint-sized Pedophile will draft a letter for his estranged wife with some cockamamie reason why she couldn’t make it? At some point, some judge needs to be told the Diminutive Detonator is acting as her lawyer. She does have rights.

  3. If she left Brett for another man, or some crazy HYPOTHETICAL like that because I don’t know why she failed to appear … she could always plea bargain this away I imagine.

  4. BS less than 2 months ago:
    “Grady left fingerprints! He confessed to the cops that he “slashed” my tires!”

    I admit that I am coming around to the possibility that the “fiancé” is a real person, and not some sock of BS’s. I’m not there yet, but I am considering it. Of course, that raises a host of questions in light of the gofundme:

    1. If their sole source of income is BS’s pension, how did she survive prior to that? Are they on food stamps? Other welfare.
    2. She received an insurance settlement. What happened to the money?
    3. Should someone who has bragged about owning a $1,500 cat, and received an insurance payment within the last 5 months, be begging for $1,500 on gofundme?

    • I still have my doubts on that regard. The first is the amazing facial similarities between the “fiancé” and Bill Schmalfeldt. Perhaps, a sister visited, and he has misused the photos. Nor, can we dismiss the possibility that he has gone full Norman Bates. The second is the twitter boast, “I have two bald pussies.” Real women are usually much more discreet about their grooming habits.

      Even if there is a real person, Bill Schmalfeldt could be impersonating her on twitter. I seem to recall Bill Schmalfeldt asking someone if, “They liked bald pussy?” snarkingly implying pedophilia. Some call it “bald pussy.” Some call it “bare.” Some call it “Brazilian,” Some call it shaved. Some called it all-off waxed. Anthony Weiner called them “smooth genitals.” I’m sure I’ve missed a few. Anyway, it may be a coincidence that they use the same term, or, it may not be.

      Finally, it occurred to be that the “fiancé” in question may not in fact wax. If she has a hairless cat, and, if she has Bill Schmalfeldt as her partner, does that not account for two “bald pussies” right there?

    • Wanna see an epic Feldtdown? Take the selling the $1500 cat angle and start the “peddling pussy to pay for a new Scooty Puff” jokes…

      • Would that make Bill a pimp? Asking for a friend who needs a new jingle for his “Pussy Palace”

    • I think there’s a real woman by the name, but the recent pictures look nothing like the facebook picture, and the stubble? And the teeth? That’s Rauhauser in a wig. I guess neither of them is ready to fully come out, yet, so we get this ridiculous identity theft charade.

    • Bill tells the exact same stupid lie over and over again. No one has ever rolled – except on the floor, laughing his ass off – and he wrote that letter. His scenarios are insanely over-elaborate, and drearily predictable.

      Stop it.

      Phone, diner.

      • What I love is his simultaneous insistence that he did NOT write that letter, and that he should be excused for ignoring his responsibilities in discovery because he forgot. If Parkinson’s Conveniens can make you forget one, why not both?

    • I already addressed this. All you have to do is type “Parkinson South Carolina” in the GoFundMe search box and you found the GFM page. Not that damn hard!

      • Of course. The real evidence shows he wrote the letter. He’s tried this tactic before to think people will talk. No one is afraid of him because he doesn’t win at anything.

        • So, he didn’t talk yet, but some time in the future “he will have
          talked”…because Bill met him, and we all know what an excellent judge of character Bill really is. He will eventually admit to delivering a forged letter that mattered little at the time, and which matters less now.

          To Bill, that’s reason enough to declare GAME OVER!

          • Bill has failed (yet again) to acknowledge that the ONLY person involved in any way in this mess that has ever squealed is… BRETT KIMBERLIN !!!

            Yep, the midget dwarf.

            Remember that Brett informed police to investigate Louise Scyphers as to the killing of Grandma Scyphers.

            So Bill has to acknowledge either :
            1. Brett Kimberlin was involved in the crime of killing of the Grandma who was against Brett’s relationship with a 12 year old girl;or

            2. Brett Kimberlin is a FUCKING RAT .

            Which one will it be ?

  5. Whose turn is it to be Krendler?

    I still want to be Batman. Is that still available? Anyone mind if I’m Batman for a while?

  6. If @mrvogon chooses to stay stupid, he is risking his pretty house and I could be pooping in his pretty pink potty in 18 months.

    Bill, the entire hotel room you’re sharing with “Inflate-a-date” is no bigger than that bathroom!

    • Whose turn is it to flip next week? I looked for the schedule in the break room and over by the time clock and couldn’t find it. Oh, and who took my lemonade from the fridge?!

      • It was bad, I threw it out. Floaters of mold.

        Good time for a PSA:

        Remember folks, the breakroom fridge gets cleared out every Friday by the cleaning staff, generally around 8pm.

        They will throw your Tupperware out!

          • That was a piece of Pizza? It looked and tasted like a Belgian Waffle! Then what the heck was all that white stuff that I thought was whipping cream?

            On second thought, don’t answer that.

  7. I wonder if Johnny Assign is taking surveillance video anywhere today. Like at a BBQ, for example. Good thing it’s fiction!

  8. Слід сподіватися і молитися, що місіс Kimberlin буде говорити прямолінійно зі священиком в eithr найближчого українського православного або українського католицького приходу для guidence і адвоката (в обох значеннях цього слова).
    Written in Ukrainen for Mrs. Kimberlin’s benefit.

    • Следует надеяться и молиться, что миссис Kimberlin будет говорить прямолинейно со священником в eithr ближайшего украинского православного или украинского католического прихода для guidence и адвоката (в обоих смыслах этого слова).

  9. Is he really going on about that letter again? Who signed your June 5th motion then and how did those motions travel from South Carolina to Maryland and to Hoge’s mailbox with allegedly Kimberlin’s handwriting on the envelope inside of two days time?

    I think you’re concerned about the wrong letter/envelope. I wonder if that will come up in the July 14th hearing?

    • MLB baseball players all have what are called “walk up songs” when they come to the plate. They choose their own songs. If Bill had a walk up song it would be Britney Spears, “Oops, I did it again.”

      They’re both kinda cray cray.

      • Oh I don’t know about that. I think “Free Fallin'” by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers is a better choice, especially with 37 fresh stitches in his arm.


        • Oh, hell, no.

          I took twelve stitches on my shoulder from an unblocked bokka strike. He really did not need stitches. Those scratches are superficial.

          Laptop, home.

          • Wait, what? He wasted our tax dollars on stitches for his cat scratch just to keep up the charade of “ZOMG MY FAKE PARKINSONS!!1!1!!1”???

            Anyone have a screen shot of William “stolen valor Parkinson’s faker medical system abuser”Shmalfeldt?

    • The doom clock ended with the statute of limitations and dismissals with prejudice. God, this dude is hilariously stupid.

      • He must assume that if it still chaps his butt, statutes of limitations/dismissals with prejudice don’t count. Every single morning he gets up, remembers everything he’s ever disliked, and to him that counts as a new instance of the Tort of Butthurt(tm), not covered by those pesky previous failsuits.

        • I actually think he remembers a continuously shrinking percentage of things he’s ever disliked (currently about 53%, but it’s a different set every day – things fade in and out), but as for the rest I agree.

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