SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICOCHET
MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2
ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)
JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.
MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3
SOUND: Quiet restaurant background with juke box playing oldies.
SMITH: Yeah. I enjoy these Friday get-togethers too, but I never have been able to stay for supper. There’s always some sort of family thing happening.
PINKY: All the rest of us are single, Liz.
SMITH: Tonight, our youngest’s Cub Scout Pack is having a picnic. I volunteered to help with the grill.
FRIDAY: All your kids are scouts, aren’t they?
SMITH: Uh, huh, and they all been in the same pack and troop there father was in. They’ve even had some of the same leaders.
SMITH: Yeah. There a couple of leaders in the troop who were members as boys back in the ’50s.
SOUND: Door from the street opens and closes.
BRAIN: Howdy, Sheriff.
SMITH: Come join us.
JOHN: Sure. Let me snag a chair for another table.
SMITH: No need. I’ve got to scoot for a picnic with my son’s cub scout pack.
JOHN: Isn’t he in the pack where you go to church?
SMITH: Uh, huh.
JOHN: That’s a fine old unit. I supported it when I was an a Unit Commissioner and the Assistant District Commissioner. If I remember correctly, your husband was in that pack.
SMITH: Yep. Bruce was. He had some good den leaders. One’s now a judge. But I’ve got to get going.
SOUND: Chair moves back.
SMITH: Here. Take my chair.
JOHN: Thanks, Liz.
SOUND: Restaurant background out.
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4
ANNOUNCER: Here in Westminster, I expecting one of those pleasant summer evenings when it’s nice to sit on the porch and sip a cold drink while listening to crickets and watching the lightning bugs. I’ll be sipping mine from a Murum Aries Attigit travel mug. It’s just one of the goodies exclusively available for you to spend your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, and spend some cash to support Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5
SOUND: Restaurant background back up.
WAITRESS: OK, what can I get you, Sheriff?
JOHN: My usual cup of coffee, and some sort of appetizer … um, no … a basket of rolls.
WAITRESS: Good choice. A batch just came out of the oven. Anyone else?
FRIDAY: I could use a refill.
WAITRESS: I’ll be right back.
PINKY: It’s been pretty quiet this week, hasn’t it?
JOHN: Mostly. I think I’m going to enjoy a weekend that I don’t have to spend getting paperwork together for the upcoming week.
BRAIN: So what are you going to do?
JOHN: Tomorrow, I’m going fishing with Johnny Atsign, and tonight, I going to do as little as possible.
MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Even with a good imagination, we can’t come up with stories as strange as The Bomber and his buddies provide for episodes of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT
ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign,” and join us again every Friday at 6 for alternating episodes “BLOGSMOKE” and “Blognet.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.