Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


When I got home yesterday evening from a nice social gathering with friends, I found an envelope with Brett Kimberlin’s return address on it in my mailbox. The mail appeared to be addressed in his handwriting. These two documents were inside.

Speaking of Brett Kimberlin, his appeal of the Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al. (II) RICO Retread LOLsuit is scheduled to go before the Maryland Court of Special Appeals on 23 June. The court has dispensed with oral arguments and will consider the case based on the record and written briefs. The court usually issues its decision about 6 to 8 weeks after the case is heard.

Meanwhile in the Hoge v. Kimberlin,et al. lawsuit, it’s T-minus 20 days and counting.

UPDATE—After I wrote this post, I found this comment in moderation—

242 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Well, well. That certificate of service sure looks …. well, either forged or perjurous. Hmmm, who has convictions for both?

    • YO KRENDLER!!!

      All caps means, like, ‘It’s eleventy and so you should NOTICE!’

      Ummm… Does this mean your forgery clock needs a re-set? Asking for a friend.

      Annnnnd… Did I not suggest some time back you should provide a sub count function to show accumulated re-sets? This is, what, the third or fourth incident? Not over all, just since you put up your clock…

  2. How does a document dated June 5th arrive in Hoge’s mailbox by June 7th in what appears to possibly be Brett Kimberlin’s handwriting on the envelope? So Bill signed and dated these docs and sent them to Brett Kimberlin who then mailed them to Hoge? Wow! Mail is really, really fast these days!

    I think there will need to be some explaining to do. Is that your handwriting on the envelope, Bill, and are you already in Maryland?

    • Tatiayna is not in any way a Matushka doll. The term Matushka is Russian for “mother” and in everyday use is the title given to the wifw of married priests. My wife Barbara wears the title “Matushka” with dignity and a bulldoggeness that goes with the title and position.

  3. The American’s with Disabilities Act states demands “reasonable accomodations” be made. Here is a “reasonable accommodation:” if you are mentally incapable of defending yourself hire a lawyer!

  4. For what is the soul of a court,
    That such demons reside therein
    To conspire upon a poor defendant
    To follow the fucking rules
    Or face the cost of his own folly?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  5. Heh. I’m sure the judge is going to be impressed with his legal interpretation of things.

    Apparently, becoming familiar with Maryland Rules of Civil Procedure is really hard.

    In response to his comment, it’s your blog and you can decide which comments will be allowed and which aren’t. You’ve already told him his won’t be allowed, but apparently, he thinks he has some kind to right respond directly.

    If he wants this to all go away, he sure seems to keep coming back to get more offended about people talking about his past cub scout porn work.

    • Bill ALWAYS believes that he should have the right of reply. The problem is that he has abused it. Frequently. And so he is banned from commenting on several websites. He doesn’t like that. Too damn bad.

      And I was wondering about that. Is he now denying that he wrote those skits, and voiced them? Or is he just using that for a whole MUH FAKINSONS episode?

      • He does have the right of reply. He also has hundreds of failed blogs, podcasts and Twitter accounts where he could choose to exercise that right.

        The problem with that is no one will ever see it.

        The right that he so clearly WANTS but DOES NOT HAVE is to come on to anyone else’s blog and figuratively take a dump on the coffee table.

        • Which is why I don’t allow him to comment on my blog any more. I don’t go into his living room, why should he be allowed to do so in mine. Just because he WANTS it.

    • I am willing to believe you, especially when the loop on the signature for the affidavit statement on the second document, looks in no way similar to a certain other party from that side of the universe. Almost like someone was spelling a certain other signature he does frequently (but not his own) and got confused.

  6. You’d think someone so aware of his deficits would pause before a hasty accusations of perjury. And wasn’t he saying on May 15 Something cryptic about hogewash having the admissions.

    Sec230 Bill, quit your blubbery whining.

  7. The whiskey flowed hard today. Anyone talks bad about the blowup doll and she gets sued! Or maybe starts suing! You’re going to be sued by a blowup doll after this next drink..

    *hic*

  8. Bill Schmalfeldt has just asked a Court in Maryland to judge him incompetent to defend himself.

    Bill Schmalfeldt is currently asking another Court in South Carolina to find him competent to represent himself.

    Does Bill Schmalfeldt believe that the respective courts won’t be aware of both claims? Or, does he not notice the inconsistency? Or, does he simply not care?

      • Unauthorized practice by someone who may have a vested interest in the Maryland case that outweighs any interest in the South Carolina case succeeding. AKA, Bill Schmalfeldt was sold down the river.

        • Tubby was sold down the river LONG ago. A fact he refuses to acknowledge. Many people have pointed out that the things his “friends” get him to do are not in his best interests.

          • Kimberlin has used a strategy of undermining the credibility of his own associates to protect himself. I have to admit he’s has success in that endeavor.

    • BSB- Exactly. Implicit in BS’s motions is that he is incompetent to defend himself in Maryland. He should submit to a court ordered psych eval, or his response should be denied. As part of that process, he can explain why he is competent in South Carolina.

  9. This is my absolute favorite:


    So John said, “Schmalfeldt falsely states that Mr. Hoge had his answers to the Requests for Admissions on April 1, 2017.”

    And DUMBFUCK says that’s a lie; what I actually said was “the Plaintiff had Schmalfeldt’s answers to his request as of April 1, 2017,” which is totally different.

    • See… see… even you are pushing half-truths.

      Plaintiff said the defendant said “…1 April, 2017…” – that’s the lie as defendant claims it was “…April 1, 2017…”

      And semi-related, I like how the defendant is now indicating, to the court no less, that he moved the vehicle causing additional damage to the tires prior to taking the photographic evidence that he submitted to the court without indicating that originally.

      Since I always mix these up – is that irony or hypocrisy or perhaps the power of “and” applies?

      • Gosh. Such sloppy evidence gathering. Tsk Tsk. That’s what they call a fraud upon the court, I’m sure.

  10. Who ever wrote these motions did not do bill any flavors.
    1. Bil–or whoever wrote this motion–is bring serving by email into contention, I seem to remember that bill was informed by WJJH he was no longer accept service by email and the reason why.
    2. Parkinson, well it is not for WJJH to prove or disprove, bill it is up to you and that little note you included as an exhibit will not cut the cheese. If you can not keep track of things well there are these people called attorneys who will let you pay them to represent you.

    • I seem to remember BIll getting huffy and following up with “well then I don’t accept email service from you either!” with more bluster and name calling. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s in one of the exhibits.

      Oh, and the opening paragraphs of Hoge’s interrogatories clearly stated hard copy and CD-roms, not email, were required.

  11. It’s Shakey’s own fault that he lost the privilege of sending motions by email.

    Our esteemed host is under no legal requirement to accept email as acceptable service if he decides not to, and Shakey gave him good reason not to.

    Just like a certain somebody is about to find out, That’s what you get for dicking around.

    • If someone pulled a stunt using a deaddrop, no reply email address for service, I’d revoke permission immediately too. And never restore it. Psychopath clowns like Cabin Boy will constantly abuse any courtesy shown to them because they are psychopathic.

  12. Isn’t it AMAZING that his Parkinsons was so much better that he was able to drive himself round trip from Iowa to SC TWICE a little over a month-ish ago, and then move himself to SC just THREE WEEKS AGO!!

    OH but now it’s so bad he can’t possible make a trip to MD in a couple of weeks.

    Really totes serious you guys!!

      • and a few days ago he noted 3 sources of income and one of them being the VA, if I read and remember his comments correctly. I can’t imagine what service connected disability he could have. I could be wrong and please tell me so Bill if you read this, I don’t think Parkinson’s could be a military service connected disability.

        Did I miss a past explanation for his military service connected disability?

  13. Blood on the Mike‏ @bloodonthemike 1h1 hour ago
    But there are dozens of examples of @wjjhoge admitting to dropping off or mailing something for a friend in cases he has no part in. /5

    Come on, Bill, name one example Hoge ever received a SIGNED legal document from someone out of state dated two days prior (actually Brett would’ve received it June 6th within 24 hours) and Hoge re-mailed it or dropped it off at a courthouse? How did Brett get your SIGNED document and put in a new envelope and send it to Hoge in such a short time frame?

  14. Email is not self-authenticating — the mail may pass through multiple machines, and may be modified (inadvertently or “advertently”) along the way.

    So, Bill where’s your PGP signature block? And why wasn’t the email signed with your private key?

    The asonishing rate of malware and spam that comes in through the email inbox (well, at least my mailbox, and I have anecdotal evidence that I’m not alone…) is a big hint that not everything that flies around on the Internet is trustworthry, and so refusing email service can reasonably be seen as good habits and/or practice, not a sign of malice.

    Sadly, too many people and/or institutions (especially in the electonic-voting camp) are jumping into this Wired Wild West World without (metaphorically) having seen the film Westworld, so are unable to see how benign-looking things can turn out to have negative consequences.

    I also love this YouTube video, that I first became aware of via Bruce Schneier’s blog:

    “Amazing mindreader reveals hit ‘gift'”:

  15. If the only defence Team DEFAMATION ELEVENTY!1!1!1!1! has is to claim you are a poor pro we, why forget to mention that (italicised of course) in a filing.

    Someone who is legally allowed to practice law wouldn’t have forgotten to put that in on Mr. Fakinsons behalf.

    Oh and keeping things “for evidence” works both ways.

    That’s not bus, that’s a soft pillow.

  16. No. There’s no such thing as “allowing libel” DUMBF*CK. 47 U.S.C. § 230

    You already know this, but apparently, you’re so deeply demented that you forgot, so this is your reminder.

      • The best part, I think is where the post that upsets him refers only to a “questionable aging author of cub scout fantasies” without naming any names, and Schmalaleldt immediately sticks his hand up and shrieks “THAT’S ME! THAT’S ME!!!”

    • Notwithstanding your reference to US code, there’s no libel in that comment. Unless Bill is denying writing those skits, and now believes that they are so profane that being identified as the author is defamatory.
      Hasn’t he been re-publishing them from SC?

  17. The Scat in the Hat knows all about cleaning pink hair dye rings from bathtubs. He just has to call Thing 1 and Thing 2.

  18. What defamatory comment? The comment does not mention a name, and poses a hypothetical. “Judge, every comment is about meeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

    • I do believe that question has already been settled, multiple times in court, already.
      the answer always being NO he isn’t, regardless of what Shakey chooses to believe.

    • I suggest everyone go and read the fine print. It is amazing what answers can be found.

  19. Unless ol’ Schmalleldt has acquired a law degree, plus a bachelors, in the last couple of weeks, he can’t add any plaintiffs. Some might view it as practicing law without a license. Courts and bar associations look very unkindly on this.

    • I’ll take his challenge, I invoke the name of INFLATABLE JOHN DENVER!
      BTW Bill, take it easy on that doll’s neck. Looks like an air bubble is about to burst. I’d have a patch kit ready.

      • I usually don’t ever look at thing’s twitter feed, but today it’s even more bizarre than usual, if that’s possible. He’s got pictures and a complaint of how it’s all our hosts fault for BS injuring himself somehow during some bizarre nightmare he had.

        I think that a straitjacket is the simple and obvious solution. For his own health and well being, of course.

        • As part of the clinically unique case of “PD” that he has, he abandoned his absolutely necessary $3,000 bed in Maryland when he ran away in fear from David Edgren whooping his ass in court. He had no trouble sleeping, no falling out of bed, for almost two years without it.

          Now that he has to appear in court, and it is convenient for his amorphous symptoms to make an appearance, he’s posting half nude shots of himself, with scratches, on the internet. He’s done this before. Remember when he leaned down to pet the dog and hit his head, and posted a photo of the bruise? Mere hours later he was saying that he fell out of shock when he opened the box of Slovenian horse poop that he later admitted sending to himself. In other words, he has a history of taking advantage of unrelated bumps and bruises to push an agenda.

          • Thank God he cropped out the man-boobs…that would have been just…urlgh

            Too late.

          • My working theory is that Inflatable John Denver gave him a working over for trying to shtup it in the blow up hole IYKWIMAITYD.

          • A history of self-harm may be enough to get him permanent supervision.

          • I’m worried. When Tyler Durden got too strong as a fake personality, he injured the primary. Next step is pissing in soup followed by blowing up buildings.

          • A slight pedantic correction: The Parkinsons is not “fake”, but rather you are faking Parkinsons.
            PS: a GS14 clue – you don’t need air quotes if something is real like you’re faking Parkinsons.

          • Damn, but that chair has some damn sharp edges. Looks more like fingernails or cat claws, particularly the inflammation around the broken skin.

          • Those scratches do not look like injuries one would sustain from hitting the arm of a chair. For one thing, the two parallel lines don’t work in that scenario, and second, how’d he miss the nighstand? I mean, logic. I can’t make his story fit his displayed minor injuries.

            Laptop, home.

          • Son of a… Y’all if you keep this up, the internet is going to run out of kittehz eye bleach. Hell, you’ve done put this one off his kibble.

  20. Do I have this right?

    Willie is arguing that personal delivery = email?

    Willie is arguing that his opponent must publish court filings on his blog in time for Willie to remember that it is advisable to respond?

    Willie wants to argue a case pro se in federal court?

  21. I’m not going to embed it because holy crap, people might be eating breakfast right now, but did you see Biwwy’s sob picture of how he fell out of bed and somehow managed to scrape himself? You know, cuz that’s what happens when you fall out of bed. You get an impact bruise.

    Oh wait. That’s not right. Apparently you get a scratch that looks like the sidewall of the tire off a drunk’s Ford Explorer.

    Yeah, that’s exactly what normal people have happen when they fall on a carpeted floor. Those damn carpet fibers might as well be steak knives.

  22. IANAL, but Billy’s Boo Boo picture is a tort of some sort.

    Now…….to find the eye beach.

    (And Willy, you ain’t fooling anybody)

  23. some Scat in the Hat, was out at the beach possibly since the photos show a recent sunburned face and neck, despite new claims of disability and looks like he got scratched by a cat

  24. Parkinsons Conveniens is back on the chart!

    The only disease that comes and goes when you need it to!

    A neurological defect that is improved by muscular conditioning, when convenient!

    The bestest disease ever!

  25. Mr Fakinsons can try to build up “evidence” (HUGE quotes there) of his fake disease, but it will NOT get him out of showing up on the 28th.

    Unless of course he wants to start collecting warrants I stead of restraining orders.

  26. So this Di Kelley broad – is she realor what? Even if she is she still looks like an 9inflatable to me. Wasn’t she in last year’s MAcys parade?

    Iguess if she really wants to buy Billdo a new scooty scooty she should sell that uglky cat if it’s so damn important.

    Buyt like KRendler suggests, it’s obviously a scam to get something for nothing. Much like Billdo’s efforts to fund a road trip and by the look of it just as wildly successful.

    A job…look into it.

    • The Scat in the Hat can never keep a job because his motto seems to be “You’re not the Boss of ME!” Back in Iowa Blobbo was probably told to tone down the political commentary on the air but he had to be Right and got the boot.

      Same problem every time, every order triggers massive effort to try and wriggle out of doing what he is told. He has to create some illusory loophole that justifies him doing the exact opposite.

      If he is jailed for Contempt of Court (I know, it’s Maryland, Jake.) having to completely follow non-negotiable instructions will probably make his head explode.

    • IF Dumbf5ck needs a scooty puff so bad, maybe he should’ve kept the one he had in WI.

      OH yeah, his never gets better Parkingsons got better so he didnt need it anymore.

      OH but with a summons to appear for a contempt hearing in MD at the end of the month, its gotten worse again.

      convenient disease he has isnt it?

  27. Reading something freely available on the internet is not stalking.

    And trying to do something secretly while POSTING IT ON THE INTERNET, is really stupid.

  28. THAR SHE BLOWS LADS! Bwhahahahahahahahahaha. Fucking grifters always trying to get something for nothing.

    Say John Denver, why don’t you asked yourself….I mean Bill….why he needs a fat cart? Didn’t he have a spanking new one? Why yes he did! But his Parky got all better and he ditched it for a car. Then drove thousands of miles by himself. But he has a hearing coming up right? And he swore to the court he was too disabled to show up in person. He LIED to the court. So now he needs another sympathy prop to try and hide his lies from the court. Bill, this is almost the most pathetic thing you have pulled this year.

    • What’s really impressive is that he’ll mention that he can’t make it to court in the same case as him complaining that someone knifed his tyres. In fact, didn’t he even do it in the same filing?

      • Oh, it’s even better.

        He couldn’t go to court because, no car, no license, Parkinson’s. Can’t leave the security of the Ninjanuns, and without his magic bracelet of finite radius, HE WILL DIE!!!

        3 weeks later, gets a license, buys a hoopty rustbucket.

        Takes a train to Chicago (no Ninjanuns, no Magic Bracelet.)

        Drives to Chicago. Drives back.

        Loads up all his worldly belongings into Hoopty, moves to Iowa.

        Rents a car, drives to South Carolina and back.

        Tells Judge, “That meanie Hoge had this third party dude who has a restraining order against me drive 3 hours each way and stabbed two of my tires. No, he didn’t touch the other two, or the brakes, or the paint… STOP LAUGHING!!!”

        Tries to extort the guy with the restraining order, pay for FOUR tires and an oil change, and I won’t tell the cops you slashed two very old, very curb-ridden tires.

        Loads up his worldly belongings and moves to South Carolina to be with his “soul mate. v 4.0”

        Oh, did I mention fails to keep the Judge informed of his address, and provides a false address to the Court when asked point blank?

        Oh, and then tapes the court proceedings, and posts it on YouTube.

        Kimberlin was lucky at first, rotating judges, by the time you informed Judge B what Judge A had actually ruled, the case was before Judge C, who thought he had two honest parties before him. Bill has done all of the above, WITH THE SAME FREAKING JUDGE!!!! Who is not a moron, and has more short term memory than Bill currently lays claim to.

        This will end well. Just not for Bill.

    • Dave,
      All things considered, I’m not sure Bill took your advice to “…read the motion…”. It’s quite possible, not that I’m in a position to prove it but I could see how, these documents came to Mr. Hoge without Bill having ever touched them.

      Hey! Bill’s all about fingerprinting documents to establish their veracity.

  29. I wonder what, exactly, BS means here. Parody has to be dealt with? Public commentary on public posts on a public website have to be dealt with? Why is he tweeting himself like this?

      • What “we” will be taking which “them” to court? And how?

        Is SC going to allow two IFP suits against the same sets of people just with an extra plaintiff in one of them?

        • funny, I thought Shakey’s sock just wanted to be left alone??

          and yet there he is claiming “when we take them to court”….
          really?

          I think Shakey may want to look for a new state to move to, there is less than a snowball’s chance in Hell of anything he files in SC every making it past judicial review.

          • If the sockpuppet wanted to be left alone, it shouldn’t have allied itself with an incompetent clown like Cabin Boy who was guaranteed to drag it into his every self-initiated internet fight. Not least his fight to help The Dread Pedo try to punish people who dare the ultimate crime of reminding the world of TDP’s many heinous violent crimes and scams.

          • “If the sockpuppet wanted to be left alone, it shouldn’t have allied itself with an incompetent clown like Cabin Boy…”

            #Truth

            aka… BOZO.

    • He still thinks he can sue for being ridiculed. He is the World’s Stupidest Psychopath(tm), now with sockpuppet sidekick.

      • And now Bill tells us that a google search on a name, which he does on every person who has ever said a word against him, is stalking.

        Good to know Bill. Remember this?

          • G-d, if you are listening, I have a humble request…

            See post above.

            Thanks.

            Amen

  30. November 5, 2015

    “My sweaty finger was poised over the “Enter” button. For the life of me, I could not think of a reason not to buy this thing, this wonderful thing which would increase my mobility. I don’t need it for getting around the apartment. But it would be wonderful to just go out and take a ride down the trail along the lake…
    The lake. Right across the street.
    Lake effect snow.
    This scooter would do fine in the snow.
    But I don’t have a parking spot. Or a garage.
    I had been thinking of just rolling into the apartment.
    Bad idea. Snow on the wheels and chassis. Road salt.
    Rugs. In the hallway. In my apartment. Driving a snow-encrusted, salt-covered scooter into the hallways and then into my apartment.
    Management would LOVE that.
    So, no go on the scooter.
    Thanks, Gail! I will love you forever.”

  31. For the record: The only way people here know exactly what to laugh at is that certain folks make every idiotic, pathetic part of their lives public. Totally public. The BIGS in mom’s chair. The stained grey sweatpants. The offer of a photo. The sent photo of a nearly dearly departed. The DD214. Eight failsuits. The Japanese nightclub. Roll and sniff. And now the request for others to pay for Billmobile II.

    How can these folks stop the mockery? Perhaps adopt a slightly less public version of imbecility.

  32. Pondering the silliness of the past twenty-four hours, I am reminded of what it is said can be learn from the acoustic results of brick-bat lobbed into a crowded kennel at midnight.

  33. Uhh does Dumbfuck suggest that it should be impossible for any of us to find the GoFundMe account without her or him mentioning it in public?

    I can explain it in three simple steps:
    1. Go to GoFundMe.com and click the search box
    2. Type Parkinson South Carolina
    3. Scroll down and viola you found the Dumbfuck’s GFM page.

    It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. Well you have to not be a Dumbfuck. So good job for Patr… err I mean Paul Krendler.

      • What would Blobbosaurus’ patronus animal be?

        Is 800 lbs of Slovenian horseshit in a 5 lb bag technically an animal?

        I can see the Lard-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and his inflatable apprentice casting that spell…

        “Frubak Grooo, Krrundluuuuuur!!!1!1”

        -blank stares as a glowing bag of horsepoo dumps on both of them-

        The End

        • Actually, I suspect his spirit animal would be 80 lbs of shit in a cub scout’s uniform. But that’s just based on things he has publicly filed in court.

    • Yes, but his point is that you shouldn’t do that, because if you do, you are “stalking”. Of course, he never bothers to explain why plugging a name into a search engine is stalking, when searching through old posts and blogs and twitter TLs and Facebook pages to discover someone’s unposted name is fair game.

      • Incompetently. He has my name. He evidently still hasn’t the first clue about me except who I work for – and he didn’t look any further.

        Phone, back yard.

      • Except Brett really did terrorize a town with bombs, critically (and permanently) maim people and – probably- arranged the murder preceding. I wonder what, if any evidence remains from that first crime. I heard once the gun dug up in the yard was lost. I wish someone would take up the cold case and get a resolution.
        You know, once I took the trouble to track down the suspected gunman. It took some careful work, but wasn’t that hard. ( He happened to have a close friendship with a drug dealing professor famously busted and tried.) He still lives. as far as I know. Never know when a crisis of conscience might appear. I don’t think Brett sleeps peacefully at night, for all his meditations.

    • “… a story in today’s Indianapolis Star names 13 of the most infamous crimes in the history of Indianapolis. Guess who made the list!”

      Annnnnd, Brett “The Speedway Bomber” Kimberlin files a lawsuit against the Indianapolis Star in 3… 2… 1…

  34. I find it extremely interesting that the signatures on the two documents are identical between the two documents – EXACTLY the same. The signatures are not the same within a single document, but the first signature in document 1 is identical to the first signature in document 2. Same for signatures 2 and 3 of both documents. Same shape. Same distance over the signature line. Same starting spot with regard to the signature line. Identical. That can not happen when a person actually signs two different documents. One or both of those documents is a forgery.

    • This.

      And you would think the courts would want to protect their (not so) little self-perpetuating cartel by clobbering amateurs who can’t color inside the lines. Pour encourager les autres.

      But, Maryland.

      Why, one could make the argument nobody should spend 3 years in law school or sweat passing a Bar exam. Just wing it and get as many re-tries as you need because, after all, you’re just a poor Pro Se; inexperienced yet so very well meaning.

      Judges will provide you patient guidance so you can get it right the next time. Or the time after. If you blow it then, a admonishment. But then try again.

      Doesn’t matter that lack of consequences over multiple retries has a very real cost in time and money for the other side.

      The spice must flow. The Game must go on.

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