Legal LULZ Du Jour

Ooooo! The Cabin Boy™ is now aiming his empty threats at a Team Kimberlin sock puppet.I have more than a hunch that no such subpoena is being served. No subpoenas have been issued recently in any of the Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s federal LOLsuits or in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit. Even if Schmalfeldt is trying to get such a subpoena issued in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact, the court won’t bother until after his case passes review by the magistrate judge and is allowed to go forward.

55 thoughts on “Legal LULZ Du Jour

  1. The first sign of a massive fat fail is when he starts blustering about something he understands very little about.

    Better start limbering those lulz muscles.

  2. It’s nice to see he’s upholding his proud tradition of getting drunk before noon.

  3. But they have been working this brilliant plan for weeks. @0zxBunny is most certainly Krendler and @cabinboy is hot on his trail. Yea right!! #moarfail
    Ha ha ha

  4. I don’t believe the Federal Court in SC follows the Maryland precedent of substituting a forged summons for a proper one.

  5. Looks like the JWR/captive nurse syndrome has set in for the duration of his defendant status.If, you love him, Mx Balloon, don’t make it easy for him to sit around and weaken.

  6. That tweet tells me–as if bill told me in plain English–that he did not read or understand the rules for subpoenas.

  7. ” Good morning, thank you for calling the pro se hotline, how can we help you this morning?”

    “Buuurp, %##%$#%#%##$&Hoge#%##%###%Kreneler!”

    “Sir, slow down, state calmly and clearly what your issue is”

    “Subpoena! Hoggy, Krendler, 100,000 a comment! I want it all Doug!”

    “Mister, in order to help I need you to do something”

    “Umm, okay”

    “Mister, to best serve you, can I ask where are you calling from”

    “A hotel, More like an expanded stay”

    ….awkward silence

    …clearing throat, immistakable sounds of hand smacking forehead…

    ” mister, I have your solution, please get up and go to the door”

    ” a indescribable squishy sound, following by the crisp whoosh as the recently installed seals are released from the door frame”

    “Are you in the hallway yet?”

    Sullen noise sounded in what could generously be amen from a guttural affirmation”

    “Okay sir, repeat after me”

    “Does anyone”

    “Hic!, dussh annyesone”

    “Know how to”

    “Whasts was that oh yeah, iii got its, Knows how toos”



    “A fucking manual”

    “A, hey waits a minute”


    • Nobody has to tell you shit you Fat F&@k! If you are stupid enough to use a Team Kimberlin sock in your legal fantasy, you will get exactly what you deserve. Massive PLM ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      Do ya hear that Mr Twitter Attorney at Law?? It’s the sound of people laughing AT you!!!

    • Sorry, but I am confused. Is he saying that a sock puppet can be defamed? You cannot defame a fictional character.

      Or is he saying that a real person has been defamed by being labeled as fictional? (I really do not see how anyone real can be damaged in his or her reputation by having his or her existence questioned. “Oh yes I used to think my next door neighbor Sally was a wonderful person, but I think far less highly of her now that I know she is a figment of someone’s imagination.”

      Furthermore, can anyone be defamed if his or her identity is not specified?

      And, if Mr. X or Mrs Y has been defamed by being called a sock puppet, why does Willie care or have standing to protest on X’s or Y’s behalf (unless Willie IS X).

      And almost no one is obliged to provide proof of almost anything to Willie.

    • Bill doesn’t understand that his “wants” are irrelevant. Nobody has to do a damn thing he demands. He can FOAD. In a fire. Preferably.

    • I want you to pirouette, DUMBFUCK. Also, I want that finding a winning lottery ticket thing to happen.

  8. Doc No./Seq No.: 166/0
    File Date: 06/07/2017Entered Date:06/07/2017Decision:
    Document Name: Show Cause Order of Court (Serve Immediately, No Answer Required, Hearing on 7/14/17). Copies to Montgomery County Sheriffs Office for service, copies to Hoge, B. Kimberlin, Osborne, Schmalfeldt, Breitbart Unmasked, and Almighty Media.

    Doc No./Seq No.: 167/0
    File Date: 06/07/2017Entered Date:06/07/2017Decision:
    Party Type: DefendantParty No.:2
    Document Name: Writ of Summons to Appear Issued

    Oh My.

  9. He is bluffing. And he’s terrible at it. In order to bluff properly, you have to be able to represent a better hand than you are holding.

    Dumbfuck is playing no-limit hold ‘me while holding a deuce, a seven, an UNO card, a broken JWR bottle, and six knitting needles. And we all know, because he tells us so. But don’t let that stop you, Dumbfuck. Go ahead and go all in!

    • Hey, back it off a little, dude. That UNO card is a WILD DRAW FOUR card, and that’s a winning card!

      And he’s going to call YELLOW, because he has a yellow REVERSE card in his pocket that will REVERSE all those court decisions against him!

      (It wasn’t originally YELLOW, but… well, I think you can fill in the blanks…)

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