Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Several of the pending motions are now ripe for rulings by the court in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit—

Docket Item 136/0 My motion for summary judgement against Tetyana Kimberlin as to Count XII.

Docket Item 144/0 The Kimberlins’ second motion for summary judgment against me.

Docket Item 151/0 My motion for summary judgment against Almighty Media, Breitbart Unmasked, and Bill Schmalfeldt as to Counts II, IV, V, VII, VIII, and X, and against Schmalfeldt only as to Count III.

Docket Item 152/0 My motion for discovery sanctions against Bill Schmalfeldt.

When I got home Monday evening, I found this in my mailbox—

Normally, I wouldn’t comment on this filing until after the Cabin Boy’s™ show cause hearing, but I’m going to point out one apparent factual error. Schmalfeldt says that the court hasn’t docketed his answer to my request for a show cause order.

I downloaded this from the online docket yesterday evening—

That docket entry refers to this—

Meanwhile, the countdown is now at T-minus 13 days and counting.

122 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. So he is now claiming his Parkinson’s requires a caregiver to travel. LOL. How easy is that to challenge with his recent license acquisition; his driving all over the country several times; etc etc etc.

    That signature below the part about perjury means the hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper.

  2. My favorite part is that DUMBFUCK seems to be under the impression that HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!11!! order the show cause hearing, as opposed to the Court.

    • Yes, let me see if I have this straight.

      Hoge asked for a show cause hearing, and this was granted.

      Blob is now responding to the request. For some reason he things this is a) a thing and b) something he can do multiple times until the 14th.

      • Here’s what’s happening, Shithead and his toothless trollop saw us point out last week that if Ash, Grady and BPO were called as trial witnesses in Westminster, their expenses would have to be paid by the party calling them.

        Of course, because Schmaleldt’s drunk and retahded (as they say in Boston), he thinks that applies to his being called by the Court to show that he’s not in contempt.

        Everyone should have a lulcow like mine. It’s self-milking!

        • What’s even better is than “he thinks that applies to his being called by the Court” is his thinking that the person who has to pay his expenses is the plaintiff. Who last I checked is not the Court.

          • To be fair, the Court may provide some accommodations for him. Not sure he’ll be able to bring Lady DUMBFUCK though.

        • Ok. I didn’t quite get that connection since I’m not a complete moron and can tell the difference between being a witness and being pulled up on contempt of court.

          Good grief.

        • Cargo Cult Lawfare. If HOOOOOOOGE or another of Team Free Speech tries something, especially something that works, then Scat In The Hat will try it, too.

          And then be totally mystified when it doesn’t work.

  3. The Cabin Boy™ keeps digging himself deeper and deeper. I like his demand that Our Gracious Host reimburse him on the spot. Wow talk about ignorance.

    The judge stated he wants him in the courtroom for this contempt hearing. So, of course, The Cabin Boy™ begs to not have to appear in person. It’s inconvenient for him you see.

    Gimme a break. Better yet DON’T give The Cabin Boy™ anymore breaks. Hit him with the letter of the law and let him experience why, exactly, he has a fool for a client by acting as his own attorney.


      • For a hearing to determine if he was in contempt the last time he Skyped in? Not good.

        They’re worse when you consider that he replied to the order twice, and he’s answer was basically “Fuck you, Judge” each time.

        • I would certainly hope the judge says “No $#*^ing way!” to Biwwy ever Skyping in again for anything.

          But I wouldn’t be at all surprised, even if he is found in comtempt at the end of the month, if he then tries to submit a request to be allowed to appear remotely for the trial itself in August.

          (And yes, I know, that supposedly isn’t a thing in Maryland. But since when has that ever stopped Biwwy before?)

          • Who knows, the judge might see his living conditions and decide that he should serve his time via skype 😀

  4. It’s actually interesting that he shows his thinking on how he “won” the last hearing. He thinks that Hoge was trying to get him sent down for contempt of court, and failed.

    It’s funny that he has such a simple concept of how legal battles are handled.

  5. I say again “Did the SOB even read what he typed?”. His paragraph # 5 and #6.

    I refrained from reading them to the dog, did not want to take the chance he might injure himself.

  6. He will file another motion tomorrow noting the second response as evidence he forgot he filed a response already … PARKINSON’s.

    I wonder how with all these lapses of memory Bill thinks a jury could ever find him and his memory reliable? I’m not sure “I remember what I want to remember” will fly with a jury, but then again he’s the great legal mind and not me.

  7. I like the part where he quotes the rule that literally begins with “Except with the express permission of the presiding judge…” and not two sentences later is completely mystified as to why our gracious host didn’t take exception to THE COURT using Skype. The Judge, and BS; one of these two has implicit “express permission” and one does not. Not rocket science.

    • That was good, but my favorite was basically saying ‘I didn’t record anyone in the courtroom and besides, you can barely hear them’.

  8. I cannot possibly be the only one who wonders if, just before he starts typing one of these screeds, he shouts “Hey Neal, come here and hold my beer!”

    • Beer is too hoi polloi for him. He’s drinking Valu-Rite Vodka made from the freshest hobo tears and thickest gutter water available for that Premium Quality Kick.

      • Hey now, I sometimes drink cheap Vodka. I’ve never been able to distinguish differences in Vodka. Let’s go with Valu-Rite Scotch whiskey.

        • That would be what? Cutty Sark? I’d wish him perpetual Laphroaig since I think that tastes like dead bodies and seaweed.

          But then I’m for Talisker, or Lagavulin, depending on the mood.

          • Don’t be hating on Laphroaig in my presence, now. It’s supposed to taste like dead bodies, seaweed, and cat box, with just a wee hint o’ the burnt, worn out truck tire.

            Ya drink it for that reason, dammit, laddie!

            Then, the next day, when you break out the Oban 18 Special Reserve, to drink with those less manly, you can appreciate the whole spectrum of whisky-osity…

          • I have a bit of a mixed loyalty problem here. I’m a native Tennessean and greatly appreciate of my native state’s whisky. OTOH, I have cousins who are distillers in Scotland.

            I’ll have to take another sip of this Blue Mountain coffee and ponder the matter.

      • Ten High,

        “There is only one reason you should know what Ten High tastes like.. and that’s if for some reason you find yourself at the liquor store with less than $10 in your pocket, and discover you left your wallet at home. My house is a far enough journey that buying whatever I could find for under ten bucks seemed like a better option than going to retrieve my wallet and returning for a decent bottle. Turns out it is possible to spend $8.95 and feel like you were completely ripped off. My taste buds will never be the same”

        …or Kentucky Gentlemen?

        “Okay, now we’re really getting into the shit. We are waist-deep in the Big Muddy and the old fool is tellin’ us to push on. The Gentleman is anything but and is more of the prick that yells at you for being on his lawn. This stuff would peel the paint off a Chrysler and eat through the hull of the Nostromo from Ridley Scott’s “Alien.” This is more of an endurance test than a bourbon. (I still won.)”


  9. I missed this the first time around but enjoyed this quote in his first response:

    “This defendant replied that he would gladly walk away from the Plaintiff and never hear his name again …”

    Bill-Preston Schmalfeldt, you could’ve done this ages ago and you wouldn’t be in this pickle. Are you insinuating if Hoge dropped you from this lawsuit you would never visit Hogewash (or other certain websites) and never hear or concern yourself with Plaintiff Hoge again? You would never write an article or comment under your name or under an anonymous pseudonym about Hoge on BU or at other websites ever again? Never mention him on twitter?

    Didn’t you have such an opportunity before?

    • Many, many times has he had such a chance.

      A few years back everyone stopped posting anything anywhere about him. We talked about other politics, and astronomy, and recipes, and family pets.

      Biwwy managed to ignore us ignoring him for less than a week before he started making snide comments, and @-ing people on Twitter, and generally behaving even worse than usual, because the only thing Biwwy wants more than to be left alone is to NOT be left alone.

      • And that is a sad, sad thing indeed. I really enjoyed this winter when Bill was so preoccupied with politics. It was great not having to quote his sorry ass.

        • But we missed your commentary.

          No, no. I understand that you can’t comment on what doesn’t exist. Not blaming you.

    • Yea, that’s particularly dumb, since this entire case says he breached the “walk away” agreement that he previously freely signed. You’re not here because Hoge wants to punish you, you’re here because Hoge wants to be *rid* of you and you can’t stand that.

  10. I want to see how he will make a blowup doll look like a caretaker. Tape it to the wheelchair?

    • “It’s bad enough we elected stupid, I’d rather not deal with it in my personal life too.”

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You say this but you’re the one who has agreed, allegedly, to marry Bill Schmalfeldt! You signed up for a lifetime of “stupid”!

    • DAMN, he/she/it nailed it. Say what you want about he/she/it, you can’t say they aren’t fully aware of what’s really going on here.

      “That all of this litigation is soon going to be seen for what it is. The efforts of a small, weak man (Schmalfeldt) to soothe his wounded ego because he got caught doing something illegal. And how long will it take his master (Kimberlin), the man who is pulling his string to realize that thi is not going to go anywhere. He too, is doing this because he got caught doing something he shouldn’t have and his ego is wounded.”

      What a perfect summation.

  11. Why what’s this Mr. Fakinsons? Starting off a court document without pointing out you are “pro se” in italics???

    You wasted a chance to show what a poor, poor PRO SE victim you are.

    (No I couldn’t type that with a straight face)

  12. He doesn’t require a caregiver. Since last August, h acquired a car, and he has travelled:
    1. At least once by train RT fron Milwaukee to Chicago.
    2. Drove himself at least twice RT to Chicago
    3. Drove himself and moved from Wisconsin to Iowa, where he lived alone
    4. Drove himself to a job, restaurants and parks in Iowa
    5. RENTED A CAR and drove himself, RT,over 2,000 miles from Iowa to SC
    6. Less than two weeks after #5 moved by himself and drove by himself from Iowa to SC.
    7. Moved himself and his alleged fiancee from her old place to a motel, with him driving.
    8. Moved them both again, from Motel #1 to Motel #2, with him driving.
    9. Started a godundme page for his planned cross-country jaunt where he would be driving 15,000 miles, alone.

    He does not need a caregiver. He can rent a car like he did before. Someone should point this out to the court. It may not be pleased at being lied to.

  13. Sorry for non-Star Trek folks…this is the Pakleds defense. They were a race of goof-balls who appear to be so dim-witted that they inspire sympathy. They’re really malevolent, but by consistently saying and doing things which are simple, they convince others that they shouldn’t be punished.
    Bill Schmalfeldt and Brett Kimberlin know exactly what they’re doing. Since a rolled up newspaper really isn’t an option, the court will have to discipline them.

  14. Two points that Scat In The Hat did NOT address:

    1) If the hotel room wasn’t, for the purposes of the hearing, an extension of the Courtroom, then he didn’t really appear for that hearing, did he?

    2) Just what purpose was served by posting that video on YouTube (which is STILL UP)?

    • Regarding number 2…

      It was so he could take the video and use it and the vocal track to attack John with.

      If the vocals we’re almost “unintelligible” how did John’s voice on them find its way to a couple of Fatboy’s unfunny bits on SoundCloud?

      Do you even try to think out these lies as you put them in your legal writings, Scat in the Hat?

  15. Check me on this, but the summons to appear has already been issued, and per WJJH, was served by local deputies last month.

    I know I kept saying Bill should be working on his opposition to the motion to appear, but that was a joke. Bill has to show up, and these papers just keep digging the hole deeper.


  16. Listen here Judge, I only recorded myself. OK, you can almost hear everyone else in the courtroom but until someone invents some magic device to allow the volume of the recording to be raised it’s a moot point. What do you mean “volume knob”? It does WHAT???? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE is an audio engineer by training, he tricked me!

  17. Here’s the thing, in explicit detail…

    In simple terms, Rule 16-502 says: All District Court proceedings before a judge shall be recorded on a device provided by the court, and recordings made under this rule shall be under the control of the District Court.

    Likewise, Rule 16-503 says: All Circuit Court proceedings before a judge shall be recorded on a device provided by the court.

    And Rule 16-504 outlines the means by which official recordings are controlled by the court, who may access them, and who may make copies of them.

    (Fun fact #1: a party to the case is not on that list. A party can buy transcripts, but even in this there is no exception for CHEAP-ASS PAUPER DUMBFUCK.)

    Rule 16-603: Except as otherwise prohibited by law and subject to the exceptions, limitations, and conditions set forth in the Rules in this Chapter, extended coverage of proceedings in the trial and appellate courts of Maryland is permitted to the media.

    (Fun fact #2: a party to the case who sometimes pretends he used to be a journalist, and tries to make the excuse that “Hey! NOW I’m a journalist!” creates an inherent and very dangerous conflict of interest and should STFU because it will not end well for him.)

    Finally, having shown that the rules above provide neither exception nor wiggle room for DUMBFUCKS…

    Rule 16-208(b)(2)(E)(i) states verbatim: “Except with the express permission of the presiding judge or as otherwise permitted by this Rule, Rules 16-502, 16-503, 16-504 or 16-603, all electronic devices inside a courtroom shall remain off AND no electronic device may be used to receive, transmit or record sound, visual images, data or other information.”


    Unless permission was explicitly granted by the presiding judge,
    a) all electronic devices inside the courtroom shall be turned off


    Oh, let me say that one more time:


    b) no electronic device (such as an iPhone, for example) may be used to receive ([redacted-wjjh]), transmit or record (double [redacted-wjjh]) sound (TRIPLE [redacted-wjjh]), visual images (QUADRUPLE [redacted-wjjh]!) or other information.

    Bring a toothbrush!

    • Dude… You are a total slacker. Eric got to QUINTUPLE [redacted].

      Up your game, brah. 😉

    • Therein lies the problem.

      None of those rules say he can’t record a skype session from a motel room in South Carolina.

      That’s what he was looking for.

      Because he’s a simpleton.

      • What’s that quote about making something idiot proof? They’ll just build a better idiot?
        The intent of the rule is obvious: There shall be no recording unless approved by the Judge. If we were talking about recording “Wheel of Fortune” during the hearing; then it would not be a question. Lord knows homeless people love them some “Wheel'”.

          • The MD courts haven’t enforced a lot of rules on Team Kimbergarten. They believe they will continue to get away with ignoring anything they wish. Unfortunately it appears they are right for once.

  18. I can’t wait to see how Willie argues that a South Carolina statute trumps the authority of a Maryland court to interpret Maryland’s rules. I suggest that, to increase the laugh potential, Willie present that argument in South Carolina state court and see whether it will set the precedent that Maryland statutory law prohibits the courts of South Carolina from enforcing South Carolina’s procedures in South Carolina’s own courtrooms. (Willie may have a federal constitutional problem with that argument as well, assuming it flies in the South Carolina court.)

    Hoge failed again, in this case he failed to prosecute under a South Carolina statute for a violation of Maryland’s rules. As has been pointed out now several times, if Willie wins his argument that he was not in court when using Skype, he is not going to be using Skype again.

  19. He doesn’t “skate”…and he should bring his checkbook. He was ordered to follow rules, and in the light most favorable to his actions, not only failed his obligation to resolve ambiguity in the rules (that he now claims) but showed his bad faith determination to flout the purpose and spirit of the rules. You don’t get to break the rules of a Maryland court appearance because you appear by skype, and any argument to the contrary shows a willful, intentional, spirit of defiance to the rules and the court’s instructions. If the effect of his violation was to embarrass himself, his intention, stated plainly, was to embarrass another party present in the courtroom, and to avoid paying the court fees for any sort of transcript.

    He can’t get around his plainly stated motive, and he can’t say he didn’t mean to publish courtroom proceedings including, and for the express purpose of publishing, audio of the judge himself.

        • This an affront to the court itself….the judge recorded illicitly, and broadcast. His bad fifth motive was stated, and in the light most favorable, taking a a lenient view of a Pro-se’s reasonable construction of the rules into account, he not only erred and he willfully erred, and continues to willfully err.

          • Correction: his bad fifth motive is stated daily as “BLAST IT, DENVER! GET YOUR ASS DOWN TO WALGREENS STAT! WE’RE OUT OF JWR AGAIN!”

        • Dave nailed his strategy, loosely restated as ” I’m so pitiful and thick-headed and that being me is punishment enough for anyone.” I’d say that almost always works, especially in Maryland, but here the glee in his stated “hairsplit” (his glee at getting around rules that others in thr room had to obey) and his self-stated motives show calculation enough to get him in trouble.

          • its that same calculation that lead him to have his sock puppet Blow UP Solemate 4.0 whinge how they just want to be left alone to live their lives, two weeks-ish AFTER he files his SEVENTH lulsuit.

        • Yea… I dunno.

          We had a case here in NZ where it was a slam dunk under NZ law. The crazy woman in question never even bothered to show up in court, filing a motion that was all about pretending to be the victim rather than addressing the question before the court. But because she deleted the posts in question, the judge bent over backwards and essentially said “don’t do it again” and dismissed the case.

          She took that as an unconditional “win” and a licence to do whatever she wanted and proceeded to put everything back and posted personal details online that she could only have obtained from the court. (Her expressed intention was harming some fundraising they were doing – long story)

          When it came up again, she got slapped down – hard. Turns out judges do NOT like it when crazy people spit in their face.

          • It doesn’t help him at all that his “defenses” include the disingenuous assertion that you can’t hear the other courtroom speakers well – as if the recording was published for any other primary purpose than to playback the voice of the judge in order to make some ridiculous distinction without a difference about him being ordered to get the rules and follow them (which he was.)
            This, after the judge bent over backwards to allow him an alternative means of attending court.

            I think judges are willing to tolerate a lot, but that particular type of dishonesty is particularly offensive and shows that Bill can’t be trusted to reform if given a warning.

  20. Interesting that Mr. I-Like-A-Clean-Hard-Drive dropped some four or five year old content in his latest pile of horse hockey at Cabin Boy Unread…might make an interesting bit of evidence to present to a judge when arguing the appropriateness of discovery sanctions.

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