Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Cabin Boy™ filed a motion to amend his response to my motion for summary judgment, but the response t my motion that he filed was defective, and the Clerk of the Court did not accept it. Schmalfedt has also filed a motion to amend his unfiled filing.

I’ve moved to strike the Cabin Boy’s™ motion to amend.

Also, I’ve filed an opposition to his motion to amend in case the judge doesn’t strike it.

Of course, the Cabin Boy™ takes my insistence that he play by the Rules as my being afraid of fair play.

The Cabin Boy™ has already filed two motions for summary judgment, and both were denied. Motions for summary judgment are dispositive motions, and Judge Hecker’s scheduling order required that no more dispositive motions (explicitly including motions for summary judgment) would be filed within 100 days of the scheduled start of the trial. That window closed on 15 May.

Oh, one more thing … I didn’t have a copy to the version of the motion The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt filed with the court until after I filed my motion to strike. Now that I have a copy, I see that Schmalfeldt failed to sign the paper he sent to the court. That’s yet another reason to deny his motion.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

97 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. He meant to sign it, but he couldn’t remember how to spell his name.

    Still, he’s breaking new legal ground; Randaza introduced the legal world to Murm Ares Attigit, and Bill’s probably the first person stupid enough to put “poop flake” in a legal document as one of his answers.

    • I spit up some lasagna when I read “Beats the hell out of me, poop flake” and realized DUMBF5CK ACTUALLY FILED THAT WITH THE COURT!!!

      For the record, I wasn’t even eating lasagna.

      • Yeah, nothing like actually submitting that to the court to show who you really and truly are. Damn.

  2. So he’s playing his, “But Parkinsons, mommy!” defense now. If only someone had predicted this would…

    OH WAIT.

    Literally everyone saw that one coming.

    I wonder how he’ll explain his repeatedly forgetting something that he was reminded of, and even given a countdown by Mr. Hoge on repeated blog posts, which Biwwy subsequently tweeted about, so he can’t deny knowledge of their existence.

    More to the point, if Parkinsons is so crippling Biwwy Schmallballz in the manner he’s claiming, shouldn’t he be involuntarily committed to a nursing home, for his (and the public’s) safety by now? If he’s this forgetful, he might not turn off his meth stove and could blow up more than just his doll.

    • Its brilliant.
      He has admitted:
      A) having a well-known progressive neurological condition
      B) he could no longer work in 2011 and had to retire
      C) having (and driving) a car in 2017

      …all in one single motion.

      This has the potential to be absolutely hilarious.

      • It’s almost as if he’s walked into a courtroom and f*cked himself over! Who would have thought!

        The return on LULZ is through the roof for this stuff, I’m telling ya!

  3. Did the SOB even read what he typed? Read paragraphs #3 and #4–the dog fell out of his chair when I read them to him.

  4. So Bill’s defense is “he forgot” that he received Hoge’s paperwork, and posted a response on the internet. Hmm, I wonder what could be causing such forgetfulness.

    He says his tires were slashed. What tires? The ones he used to drive from Wisconsin to Iowa, without giving the court his new address. He has submitted pics of the “slashed” tires, and a bill which would indicate the other two were just as bad. He has since used that vehicle to move to South (maybe North?) Carolina, from where he gave the court a false address as his new mailing address.

    I wonder if Billy “forgot” that he got his driver’s license and bought that rustbucket 3 weeks after he told the court he was unable to drive and had to attend by Skype? In the unlikely event that the court has forgotten, I’m sure someone will be helpful enough to remind them.

    • Biwwy has “forgotten” many things. Like Boris and Jake, a couple of wives, how to spell his name, how much JWR he just drank, that he didn’t actually invade Lebanon…the list is pretty damn near endless.

    • I’m no lawyer, but my expectation is that any written statement to the court is supposed to be carefully checked. Saying “I forgot” doesn’t strike me as an sort of valid excuse here, since he was claiming that another party had committed perjury, under perjury himself.

      I’m impressed he has applied so little thought to this.

      • If he’s aware of his deficits (that seemlngly only pop up to suit his immediate exigencies) is he not himself responsible for taking measures to counteract their impact on his responsibilities? As in, he might daily check court filings, make sure to provide the court with enough information to reach him, seek any filings that are filed with the court but not in his possession, and most usefully, make a sweet annotated feldchart of filings he receives and reviews, listing the date any response is due – this is for his sake, because of deficits he is perfectly aware of (ostensibly, by his own claim.)
        If he can take the time to write several page long responses to the air (as he did in the blog post) he might take the trouble to note in a daily planner of some kind that his formal response is due by x-date.

        The fact is Bill was running and running from service of documents related to the case, dodging and weaving. His own responses in his ‘air filing” are a very good example of not only his tactics of obstruction and non-compliance, and general contempt for his filing obligations to all parties involved in the lawsuit, including the judge.
        He made outrageously, a claim of perjury against someone who had told the truth, and provably relying on the possibility that the mail had been misdirected to get away with the accusation, and hoping that his vehemence would be taken as a form of evidence.

        Let me just remind of an analogous situation where he insisted he had not mailed a vaguely threatening letter (consider your job,,etc) to Mr. Hoge while a restraining order was in force, and his insistence it must be a forgery.

        We have proof that his vehemence is not a reliable predictor of truth, (except to cast doubt on his assertions) and that by his own claim he is incapable of remembering actions which he had labored over and even published for a crowd to see, so certain something that has taken place has not that he is willing to declare a crime – perjury – has taken place and that he is victim.

        He must now concede that he very well have mailed that threatening letter to Hoge and cannot rely on his own memory or belief to be any reliable indicator of what took place, and concede that he is willing to assert that conspiratorial crimes have taken place when he is absolutely in the wrong.

        • This!

          Essentially, Biwwy’s only hope is to plead insanity and get himself committed.

          Honestly, I think that’s what he needs to do regardless of this case.

  5. Commenting and laughing at Bill isn’t dancing. Who exactly is dancing again, Bill? Those [redacted] type comments originated at Hogewash (I think?) and Krendler is responsible for the monkey dancing meme. So, who’s the monkey copying who? You hate Hogewash readers yet you copy them.

    As for your motion, your paragraph 4 in your motion is crazy. I wouldn’t even call that dancing though Hoge always has you dancing – that’s flailing on hot coals of stupidity. I don’t know if I should say this and educate you but since I think you’re beyond educating … NEVER EXPLAIN TO A COURT THEIR OWN RULES.

  6. Blood on the Mike‏ @bloodonthemike 8:48 PM – 1 Jun 2017

    When I tell the fuckers to dance, they DANCE! I’m more in control over @wjjhoge’s blog than HE is! @truth_partner

    More in control over Mr. Hoge’s blog than he is? Of course. That’s why William Schmalfeldt:

    – stops commenters from calling it a rapist / child pornographer / TODDLERSTALKER
    – stops commenters from calling it a Parkinsons faker, an alcoholic and STOLEN VALOR SCHMALFELDT
    – has every commenter’s IP address, name, street address and phone number
    – owns our spouses and our houses and everything we own (so it can burn them to the ground)

    And that’s why “a perfectly innocent blog post about your doubts re: climate change turn into a hate screed against me?”

    The Blob lies all the time, but I search out the truth wherever it may be.

  7. LMAO @ paragraph 2.
    It’s daddy’s fault he didn’t do his homework, not because daddy didn’t remind him to do his homework, but because daddy DID possess proof that he had ALREADY been reminded to do his homework. Wait, what?

  8. Bill’s Delusions of Adequacy, Competence and Freedom are about to hit the Wall of Reality.

    The suspense is killing me. I hope it lasts.

    • In the reality distortion field that exists around William “I stole valor and fake extreme Parkinson symptoms to avoid a swath of fear pee in a courtroom” Shmalfeldt, our PLM translates to supposedly “dancing”.

      Again, another example of IMAX-level projection.

  9. LOL!! Just read this drivel from William “here comes me and my poor Parkinson’s” Shmalfeldt. Amazing!

    This is more than just “flip”. He was told already to use some decorum in filings. Oh man is this gonna be good.

    I can’t take any more bets on whether or not Stolen Valor Shmalfeldt is going to bring some props to court to fake (the extremity of) his ” Parkinson’s ” as the probability is within an epsilon of 1 at this point its gonna happen.

  10. O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead Bill and us from prejudice to truth: deliver him and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

    Almighty God, who sittest in the throne judging right: We humbly beseech thee to bless the courts of justice and the magistrates in all this land; and give unto them the spirit of wisdom and understanding, that they may discern the truth, and impartially administer the law in the fear of thee alone; through him who shall come to be our Judge, thy Son our Savior Jesus Christ.

    O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ
    our Lord.
    Amen.

  11. It really is tragic that the judge cannot both strike and deny Willie’s motion to amend. That would be the appropriate response to the inanity on display, but it is logically inconsistent and so might be construed as judicial overreach.

    Am I misreading, or did he really imply that his blog posts constitute legal filings?.

    • As monumentally ignorant as that is, he really did say that. AND he blamed Hoge for not reminding him that he had actually received his interrogatories and failed to respond. Looks like little Biwwy needs his Daddy to remind him to do his homework. What a pathetic little weasel of a man.

  12. S: I’m late with my response, what’ll I do, boss?
    K: Cut & paste the blog post into a legal filing, and claim the blog post was the response.
    S: Will that work?
    K: Yeah. But be sure not to change a word, or the judge won’t buy it.
    S: Umm, ok.
    K: Not one word, remember.
    S: We’re gonna be ok, right boss?
    K: Oh yes. I will certainly be ok.

  13. So, in a court filing, defendant blames plaintiff for not showing defendant the defendant’s own written admission that defendant had already received a previous court filing. Yeah…. no.

        • No, no! The car (and its four brand new tires) “Went to Jesus”. I’m certain that means that it died completely and it was sent to a scrap yard. I’m sure the title was transferred legally to a scrap dealer somewhere!

          • I had no idea you could transfer title to the imaginary boyfriend living in your head

    • That will last as long as it takes for any of the defendants to point out Bill’s lies in it. What state will he flee to next?

    • Yes. He’s proud…but now the filing can be opposed. If I recall correctly, that didn’t go so well for him last time…or was that the time before last.

      Whatever. I search out the truth wherever it might be.

    • ROFL @ Mr. Fakinsons thinking that now all of a sudden people will need spend money on a lawyer to defeat a DUMBF5CK because he THINKS he got a free one now.

      This is gonna be good!!!

    • The “I’ll just leave this right here” counter to this that will eventually come from team Free Speech will be delicious!!

    • Drunkenstein has gotten lulzsuit welfare twice before. Neither resulted in a final victory. Indeed, the only time a defendant has even had the opportunity to challenge it, Oliver Wendell Jones fled halfway across the country.

      And, no. He isn’t getting a welfare lawyer. DUMBFUCK is proceeding pro se, which has worked out swimmingly the seven previous times. As we have this conversation, the Johnnie Walker Red Baron is humiliating himself in Maryland far more thoroughly than we ever could, which he’s doubling down on by declaring himself judgement-proof in public.

      The Diminished Capacity Kid has already been masterfully manipulated into burning his free amendment, and he did so in a way that made his own complaint even more disastrous.

      Schmaleldt is already finished, but he’s too drunk and dumb to know it.

      Educating him is going to be FUN!

  14. The first sentence of paragraph 5 is a riot.

    You COULD have had an attorney, but you CHOSE to spend your money on frivolous electronics to perpetuate your fraud.

    Even in Maryland a judge will see that.

    • I hope John brings up all the frivolous spending…. like whatever he payed for that Fisher-Price Speak-and-Spell Music Maker he tweeted so much about. The one he uses to create so called “music” for his unfunny “comedy” bits and the music stuff for his unlistened to blogcasts.

    • I believe he has very recently purchased a new computer and possibly a new phone, and very likely to destroy evidence. He was begging on go fund me for these things, and I always thought it was an excuse to trash evidence Rauhauser style. It would be interesting if his devices were recently swapped out.

  15. Rarely has there been this much pride expressed in such a situation. I had an uncle who celebrated getting back on disability, and I think he was pretty giddy about getting WIC for the kids. Foodstamps approval day was nearly a holiday, sure. Free dental treatments at the Civic Center if you had a Foodstamps ID. Legal Aid convinced the judge to order the ankle bracelet off. First anniversary with a new social worker. The day HUD funding was approved to build the new roof on the singlewide. See, these are big events in a man’s life.

    • Someone said that circuit doesn’t do welfare lawyers.

      I suspect this is partly about the fee, and partly about getting the US Marshalls to provide service, on the ground that those big poopy heads with restraining orders against him refuse to accept any mail from him!

      • But they aren’t going to provide service for the MD case. So Biwwy Schmaleldt is still going to have to pay to get all those witnesses he says he’s calling their notices. Not to mention paying their travel, lodgings, food per diems, and lost wages up front.

  16. If he’s in any way dissembled, exaggerated or cheated on his IFP application, the fact that he has already done so once will maker bad consequences for him more likely. Maybe he shouldn’t be pleased, because he’s claimed he does not give an accurate accounting of things a normal person would remember and apparently does not make memory-jog records to guard against these “lapses.”. So the failure to actually sell his car or remember his full pension could be taken in a very negative light with bad consequences.

  17. I bet a person could drag a few hundred dollars through the halls of that roach hotel in which he now claims to reside and come up with some interesting information about an annoying tenant.

  18. Pingback: Amending Into the Void | BILLY SEZ – The words of W.M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Serial Litigant, Woman Hater, Jackwagon

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