Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Cabin Boy™ has filed a motion to amend his response to my motion for summary judgment. However, the online docket shows that he hasn’t properly filed a response to my motion for summary judgment, so it appears that he’s trying to amend something that doesn’t exist. He also hasn’t properly served me (per Rule 1-321) with a copy of his motion to amend.

I’m also informed that the Cabin Boy™ was personally served with the latest show cause order by a deputy sheriff on 24 May.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

T-minus 2 days and counting.

73 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. “(S)o it appears that he’s trying to amend something that doesn’t exist.”

    That sounds about right.

    In other news, I’m thinking of creating an animated series called “Billy the Lulcow Lawyer.” Everybody loves cartoons.

  2. I’m also informed that the Cabin Boy™ was personally served with the latest …

    I think Bill “Fakinson” Schmalfeldt has been served more times than some lawyers. And that is not something to be proud of….

    • It’s not that often that an attorney agrees to accept or waive personal service of a summons on behalf of the client. Too often plaintiffs botch it in one way or another and you don’t want to give that defense up. But if other considerations weigh in, one might.

  3. I’m just glad his opposition to John’s motion for sanctions is on the record.

    That’s the one where Schmaleldt invited Judge Hecker to jail him for JOURNALMALISM!!11!!, right?

    That one’s my favorite.

  4. “…so it appears that he’s trying to amend something that doesn’t exist.” Wasn’t that the same error that made Windows ME the wonderful piece of Schmalfeldt that it turned out to be?

  5. There are brief but apparently lucid moments when I feel sad that anyone could humiliate himself so abjectly. Then sanity returns.

  6. Let’s do the math, boys and girls-

    Fed Income Tax is 10% on the first $9,275. Keep it simple and figure $900.

    And then 15% on everything over $9,275 which is just over $5,000 on the remainder of what I assume is his $36K yearly. That brings you to about $30,000 on his reportedly $36K annual income.

    South Carolina income tax is $1,600 near as I can tell so let’s just knock off $1,000 and that brings us to $29,000.

    Therefore figure $29,000 divided by 12 months equals about $2,400 per month. That’s $600 per week. Did I just read $27 per night for the motel? That’s going to eat in to $600 weekly income right quick as we say down South. “Ah. Another annotation for the stickey marked ‘w’-“.

    All of this is predicated on $3,000 (gross; Bill, that means ‘total taxable’ not ‘ickey’) income per month which I think I recall reading in another comment.

    And- I think the $3K number is way too low. GS-13 range is $74.5K to just about $97K and then you got to figure High-3 and multiply by number of years and then multiply by 1%. So figure Fakinsons caused him to walk away from $80K per year and… $3K per month doesn’t sound right. It’s too late tonight for me to bother running down a GS-13 pension which I’m not sure he has given he left Gov’t on some kind of disability.

    What started me thinking about all this was the IFP thing. I’d be surprised if he qualifies. Cost of living in South Carolina is less than Maryland and that’s going to show. And be taken in to account.

    IF he married Lady Di Preston figure his income almost doubles as I assume she’s on disability of some sort too. That’s problematic. $50K ain’t bad in South Carolina. IF he didn’t marry her, and Ms. Preston (she may be real but I bet the name is not) has any sense of self-preservation she needs to run some numbers herself. Before she gets pulled under. Too.

    All of which is to say a coupla’ things:

    1. I hope like heck I never put myself in a position to be crowd-sourced by The Internets.

    2. I acknowledge Bretts’ evil genius in being as low profile as he is EXCEPT all the lawfare has raised his vis considerably. He had a beautiful scam going in the non-profits and he was ideally positioned to rake in even bigger bucks now that the Progressive community has been dialed up to 11. I myself would have put my bank account ahead of betting on my brass knuckle jailhouse-lawyer Pro Se skills. But that’s just me. My guess is that Brett’s already set up non-profits outside of VR and JTMP which do NOT have his name tied explicitly to them.

    That would make for a very good discovery question.

    Phone. Bar.
    Hat tip to Dave because that’s really clever.

    • His ego wouldn’t let him just quietly amass that fortune. That’s why he’s Brett and not Soros.

    • Need to figure out if the “hotel” has off season rates and in-season rates. It is now in-season at Myrtle Beach. Might cut into that income a bit more. Figuring federal retirement is really tough with the new FERS system, it is composed of the normal pension of 1% per year (or 1.1% if over 62 when you retire) plus social security, plus thrift savings plan, plus extra years if the person pays in their former military service. If you retire early then there are penalties, except disability changes a lot of that.

    • “I’d be surprised if he qualifies.”

      Before you did the math you made an erroneous assumption.

      Do you really think it didn’t lie on it’s IFP? William Schmalfeldt lies about everything it does.

    • Remember that there’s a chunk of SS that doesn’t get taxed for most people. And then of course he has his personal exemption and standard deduction, so his taxable income is probably rather less than half of what he’s brining in.

  7. Poor Bill, he tried to get in on the #covfefe silliness last nite, and couldn’t get ONE REPLY.

    How much of a loser do you have to be to not get a single reply on twitter, of all places?

    • William “Fakinsons” Shmalfeldt has a history of attempting to insert himself in conversations FAR above his political weight class and failing absolutely miserably at getting anyone to give a crap about what he says. I imagine this latest forray was alot like Steve Urkel challenging George Foreman to a fight.

      • I remember once years ago someone sent a tweet to our Gracious Host and never mentioned Schmaleldt by his Twitter handle OR by name. He butted into that conversation unbidden and in the process violated a restraining order. He wrote the most ass kissing and begging letter to the judge pleading for leniency and, of course, lied and said he was “tricked” into doing it. The fact he lied so badly to a judge annoys me because I search out the truth, wherever it may be, and I’ve certainly not found it in any of his blathering.

    • Odd that a proclaimed former editor who repeatedly can’t spell his own name in legal filings tries to mock a Twitter typo, but there’s our Dumbf5ck for ya!

    • I just want to know why he had to publicly state that his imaginary boyfriend wouldn’t go “face down on the bathroom rug with his unwiped ass in the air”. What a disgusting man. I wonder if the inflatable boyfriend is aware of how Bill thinks of it?

      And since Bill has the reading comprehension of a toddler, that’s how you described what covfefe meant and in the very next tweet admitted your imaginary partner wouldn’t covfefe themselves.

        • But he mocks the strangest things. According to Mr. DeLong’s son, the injuries suffered by his father included “ripping off his right leg just above the knee, shattering his right hand, stripping all of the skin and much of the muscle from his left leg, and inflicting carbon burns and shrapnel wounds covering the entire right side of his body. ATF agentswere able to rebuild the bomb from parts removed from my Dad’s body, including timer parts, battery parts, pieces of asphalt, etc.” Because 9+ painful surgeries later he wasn’t even going to keep his remaining leg. He thought it mockworthy and his own fault that injuries caused by Kimberlin and resulting pain and depression could lead to suicide.

          His wife, critically injured in the blast when a piece of shrapnel
          severed the main artery and nerve of her right leg and who according to
          her son had to live with “the permanent visual image of her husband of 20
          years being completely engulfed in a red fireball, thrown 15 feet into the
          air and then slammed head first into the pavement,” (Brain damage? HA! Bill’s lived with far worse brain damage and hasn’t sought any cure) totally deserved being sued by the midget terrorist for taking away his snack fund.

    • ROTFLMAO!!! To “prove” I’m lying about him not getting ONE REPLY to all of his two dozen tweets, Bill shows he got only ONE REPLY!!!

      It’s just too easy. DANCE MONKEY!!!!!!1

      • Check out that account. It’s not a normal account – it’s possibly one of his own socks, definitely of the ilk of his bestest buds, but it’s definitely a sock account, with curiously repetitive tweeting – posts the same lame images over and over and over and over.

      • Oh they did have a bedbug problem according to a reviewer. Value Place aka Woodspring Suites (rebranding!) has this on their Google reviews.

        • I read lots of reviews, bed bugs and roaches and fleas and (though not mentioned) probably Chagas disease all ’round. Plus, per more than on review, rowdy kids in the halls and smoking semi-schizophrenic types hand out where the front doors are, if your room faces out that way the air handlers drag it into your room.

  8. Doc No./Seq No.: 159/0
    File Date: 05/31/2017Entered Date:05/31/2017Decision:
    Document Name: Order of Court that Defendant William Schmalfeldt may attend the Pretrial Conference via telephone.
    Copies to Schmalfeldt, Hoge, B. Kimberlin, T. Kimberlin, Osborne, Breitbart Unmasked, and Almighty Media.

    Doc No./Seq No.: 160/0
    File Date: 05/31/2017Entered Date:05/31/2017Decision:
    Document Name: Order of Court Denying Defendants Brett and Tetyana Kimberlins Motion regarding the 6/2/17 Pretrial Hearing – Defendants Brett and Tetyana Kimberlin shall attend the Pretrial Conference in person.
    Copies to B. Kimberlin, T. Kimberlin, Hoge, Osborne, Schmalfeldt, Breitbart Unmasked, and Almighty Media.

    What you wanna bet that the judge has old bill swear under oath that his cell phone is off.

    • Google play has over 9000 apps that let you record phone conversations.

      Good job judge! Keep on living up to “because Maryland”

        • There are only two things that I am sure of in life:

          1) the paternity of s guest on Maury
          2) that William “I stole valor and faked Parkinson’s” Shmalfeldt will break any and all court rules he likes it he thinks he’ll get away with it.

          Thanks to “because Maryland” that’s quite a lot

          • Of course, if the judge has already decided on consequences and they don’t involve jail time of any sort, then he doesn’t need to be there. Hoge noted a few days ago that he didn’t expect BS to be taken into custody. The judge can layer on all kinds of sanctions that don’t require BS’s presence.

    • You know it really does piss me off that a Judge who knows that he has been lied to, allows this slimball to get away with it again.

      I want to see JUSTICE, Real Old West Justice!

      I say we all band together, go down to Myrtle Beach SC, find his fat ass in that flea bag hotel, board up all the windows and the door, and throw in about a dozen Cute Death Kittehs!

      Now that is some JUSTICE!!

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