Hypertechnicality Du Jour


The core of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s problem is not that he is trying to use an unconstitutional statute and whether the federal court would enforce it. He has an even more basic procedural issue. He is trying to use a criminal statute as the basis of a civil claim. When a pro se litigant tries that (lawyers never seem to make the mistake), the court throws out the complaint without having to get into the issue of the law’s constitutionality. Here’s what the court said the last time a pro se litigant tried to use § 16-7-150 as the basis for a civil claim—

In short, he cannot bring a civil action for alleged violations of criminal statutes, see S.C. Code Ann. § 17-1-10[.]

Sanders v. Lowe’s Home Centers, LLC, et al., Case No. 15-CV-2313-JMC-PJG, Order and Opinion, ECF No. 103, (D.S.C. Sep. 27, 2016) at 6. (I suppose the reason the Cabin Boy™ missed this one is that it was issued the same day as the hearing in which Judge Hecker denied all of TDPS’s motions to dismiss in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.)

As I said in today’s TKPOTD, I don’t expect to need my motion to dismiss after the Magistrate Judge reviews Schmalfeldt’s complaint.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—The Gentle Reader may wish to note that the last time the U. S. District had to rule on a case in which a pro se litigant was stupid enough to try to use the South Carolina’s criminal defamation statute as the basis for a civil claim was for a case filed in 2015. (The first two digits of the case number correspond to the year the case was filed.) So it’s been almost two years since a pro se litigant has filed such an inept defamation case in that court.

75 thoughts on “Hypertechnicality Du Jour

  1. Lol this must be an epidemic amount The LOLawsuit crowd Mix seems to think I’m going to be convicted of staking even though he sued me civillyA for defamation.

    • I’ll bet folding money on this: DUMBFUCK will have abandoned his new blog before he gets 22 comments from his sock puppets…not on one post – on the ENTIRE BLOG.

  2. Does anyone know how similar South Carolina’s Long Arm Statute is to Wisconsin’s?

    Does anyone know if DUMBFUCK even TRIED to make any more of a prima facie case for personal jurisdiction in South Carolina than he did in Wisconsin?

    Does anyone remember the reason Judge Joseph dismissed LOLSUIT VI in Wisconsin?

    Hint: a good lawyer never asks a question that he doesn’t already know the answer to.

    • Does anyone know how moving to South Carolina makes its law apply to all the butthurt you’ve ever experienced elsewhere? When you were twisting his Wisconsin based nipples or putting a boot in his Iowa domiciled ass, did you know you were committing the tort of violating a SC criminal law? Does SC know this?

    • I linked a pdf of SC’s long-arm in an earlier thread. It’s completely ordinary, nearly indistinguishable from most other states’.

      I assume you know what that means, regarding Blobbert’s ability to successfully sue across state lines.

    • As AJFH says, SC’s long arm statute is quite ordinary and similar to Wisconsin’s. Of course, certain people did not understand the Wisconsin statute, and a certain case never even made it to the stage where that statute would have been relevant.

  3. My personal speculation is that Wailing Willie missed the significance of Sanders v. Lowe’s because he (1) does not grasp the difference between the plaintiff in a criminal case and the plaintiff in a civil case, or (2) never knew about the cited case until John mentioned it, or (3) is unable to read the case with any scintilla of comprehension, or (4) more than one of the preceding.

  4. I wish John wouldn’t educate the monkey.

    ‘sanctions for venue shopping 4th circuit’

    IANL. Billy himself educated me that I COULD be a Paralegal.

  5. I suppose the reason the Cabin Boy™ missed this one is that it was issued the same day as the hearing in which Judge Hecker denied all of TDPS’s motions to dismiss in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.

    It was also over six months and two states ago. South Carolina hadn’t yet crossed his goldfish-sized mind.

  6. This post, and the TKPOTD, have been up for over an hour without a rapid response from the DUMBFUCK RAPID RESPONSE TEAM of Vomitory and Vomit_Partner.

    Perhaps something happened that was not foreseen by DUMBFUCK CENTRAL COMMAND.

  7. For a guy who usually posts immediately after these go up, he’s awfully quiet.
    Hey! Remember the days when he would go to bed at 9:00 because if his “PD” pills?

    • The pills weren’t for Parkinson’s. One was a mood stabilizer because DUMBFUCK is nuts on top of being an idiot. The other was a benzodiazepine.

      Very, very bad things happen if you go off of either without medical supervision. And several months passed after the bald pussy moved from Maryland to Wisconsin before he mentioned having a doctor, and no one back home would prescribe either drug – but particularly benzos because of the potential for both abuse and resale – in sufficient quantity to carry him for that long.

      Sudden withdrawal would have made the Diminished Capacity Kid both brutally sick and possibly suicidal in Wisconsin, conditions that there was absolutely no evidence of his having suffered. Indeed, he was actually filing lulzsuits.

      Furthermore, whenever you challenge a DUMBFUCK about virtually anything, he rushes to provide proof, however ridiculous, that you’re wrong, lying, or both.

      It was almost two years ago that I posited in public that he was lying about what medicines he was taking, an assertion that has been met … with crickets.

      • For example, Chris Cornell’s family has publicly stated that they believe that Ativan, the brand name of Lorazepam, the drug Schmaleldt said was he was on, was responsible for his Thursday night suicide.

        The only thing worse than being on those drugs long-term is suddenly going off of them.

        • A bald pussy is approriate as a mascot for the Dread Pirate Kimberlin’s crew.

          1.Led by an adjudicated pedophile who started having sex with his wife at 14 (he was in 40’s); and who allegedly hit on her 12 year old cousin
          2. A failed musican, but crack cannery employee, who tweeted he would have sex with an underage female
          3. A person with an actual conviction for child pornography
          4. A man who stated that pornography wasn’t that bad, so you can assume he viewed it.
          5. And a man who drifted through life with a serious of jobs he could not hold and no real accomplishments except for boy scout audio stories that have pornographic tendencies

        • He’s bald and he’s a pussy. It isn’t complicated.

          But there is a significant difference between Schmaleldt and the overpriced cat. The cat has four working legs and, depending on whether you believe his retarded court filings over the retarded Twitter feed, Bill has none. So the cat is clearly more useful for reasons other than it can probably spell “cat.”

  8. His basic problem is that he is trying to use a there when there is no there there.

    His other basic problem is that his conspiracy theories have no they’re there.

    • Those are just symptoms. Kind of like how he misspells his name in court documents. That doesn’t mean he will lose, but it does indicate the careful, thorough, detailed efforts we have come to expect from the LOLcow.

      His basic problem? I leave as an excercise for the reader.

      • His basic problem – being himself.

        There’s no escaping that fact either. Wherever you go, there you are.

      • My theory is that he intentionally misspells his name in the title of the lawsuit.
        This way if someone does a search based on “Schmalfeldt” in court records, his name won’t come up. Once is an honest mistake, twice is brain fart, multiple times has to be intentional.

        • Nice idea, Al, but Bill isn’t that smart. Or clever.

          I believe he has always spelled it correctly in the title/caption. In the main text? He gets too wrapped up in failing to make a point, to worry about spelling his own name correctly.

          • I think it’s a sign that he’s literally cutting and pasting the previous complaints he’s filed, and he’s too lazy to do any proofreading.

            When I’ve seen repeated misspellings in other contexts, cut and paste is most often the culprit.

    • Oh, it is not that bad. He (or she) probably has a law clerk cross out anything impertinent, irrelevant, or inconsistent with state or federal law. There will be very little left for the magistrate to glance at. The law clerk, however ….

  9. OK, someone used the term “retarded” yesterday referring to Bill. Now, I normally hate seeing that term used, but really, after seeing this, you have to believe Bill has serious mental handicap. Otherwise how could a person actually put this claim into a suit:

    When he, himself has produced this?

    Bill, get help. FFS

    Oh, and to the blow up doll; you think this is normal?

    • When I note that Blobbert is deranged, demented, or a dipshit, I am not offering a medical diagnosis. When I opine that he is a cyberstalker, a fraud, or a valor thief, I am not speaking to the content of his criminal record. I advertise myself as neither a medical nor legal professional. I am just some dude on the internet, commenting on a weird and stupid person’s weird and stupid behavior. It is the very essence of protected speech. Blobbert has no case, even if he could figure out proper jurisdiction, venue, civil vs. criminal law, and how to properly allege facts to support a claim for damages. Everything I’ve ever seen written about him is either repetition of what he himself wrote, true reporting of actions he took, hyperbole or satire based on either or both of the former, mete insult, or just jokes. He will never succeed in a defamation suit, because he hasn’t been defamed.

    • 1) S/he writes fiction about video game characters.
      2) S/he lives with Bill Schmaleldt in a motel room.
      3) S/he dyes her hair the color of Twizzlers.

      Where do you get the idea that s/he and ‘normal’ have ever had even a passing acquaintance with one another?

      • Well, #1 isn’t nominally cause for alarm; I have personally met a bestselling author who got her start writing Transformers fanfics. You gotta start somewhere, after all.

        #3 is worrisome; as RS McCain notes, bright colors in nature typically denote ‘toxic! do not eat!’. However, I’m well aware of the old saw about ‘not judging a book by its cover’, either.

        #2 is the tiebreaker right there. Anyone who willingly cohabitates with the Cabin Boy has either ulterior motives or serious issues.

  10. Awwww, isn’t that just adorable? After blustering for 48 hours, Schmaleldt finally admits he’s a FUCKING MORON and has to amend his compliant because he sued for imaginary stuff and was completely WRONG on the law (as our Gracious Host and all the other Lickspittles had already pointed out). AND the icing on the cake is that he is adding his imaginary boyfriend to the suit. Holy Shit! I can’t wait to see Bill stroll into court and blow him up at the plaintiff’s table. Someone please tell me that SC televised their trials?

  11. Bill just figured out how he screwed himself and how much trouble he’s in. The lawsuit, as useless as it is, is his idea of gaining hand, some hoped for leverage. It’s possible it’s just a psychological defense against realities that are oppressive to him, but I think he understands at least on some level how he’s painted himself into a corner, and that he can make things turn out better forhimself or at least assuage his feelings of humiliation and (well-grounded) fear by giving as much trouble as he can.

    Meanwhile his efforts compound some of his troubles, and he’s in real trouble.
    I am pretty certain he’s adding his purported companion in order to manage the risky move of easily contradicted IFP claims his by means shifting the accounting to include a “houselhold” with an actual destitute person; it won’t help that but I think it’s probably the motive.

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