Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Now that LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact is out in the wild, I’m going to make some general comments over the next few days about how mind-bogglingly stupid the Cabin Boy’s™ Complaint is.

It’s clear that he didn’t bother to do much research while he slapped his suit together. For example, Count II is based on the South Carolina criminal defamation statute S.C. Code Ann. § 16-7-150. The U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina has ruled that law unconstitutional. Fitts v. Kolb, 779 F.Supp. 1502 (D.S.C. 1991).

The Cabin Boy™ is suing my codefendants and me in the U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

110 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. “It’s clear that he didn’t bother to do much research” <– Winner of the Understatement of the Year Award, 2017.

  2. 1991? It was found unconstitutional in 1991???

    Every time I think a lulcow can’t top himself, he does. Fueled only by alcohol, Bill Schmalfeldt leaps tall mountains of stupid in a single bound.

  3. I am going to take advantage of this rare opportunity to “Fisk” Mr WJJ Hoge III.

    Now that LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact is out in the wild, I’m going to make some general comments over the next few days about how mind-bogglingly stupid the Cabin Boy’s™ Complaint is. [There are no words, but I’m an expert, I’ll soldier on. As a quantum mechanic I am used to mind-baffling issues and uncertainty. – not WJJH]

    It’s clear that he didn’t bother to do much research [DUH! – not WJJH] while he slapped his suit together [out of the corpses of other suits. Krendler, are you freelancing as an attourney? – not WJJH]. For example, Count II is based on the South Carolina criminal defamation statute S.C. Code Ann. § 16-7-150. The U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina has ruled that law unconstitutional. Fitts v. Kolb, 779 F.Supp. 1502 (1991). [Ooopsie poopsie. – probably not WJJH]

    The Cabin Boy™ is suing my codefendants and me in the U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina. [For felonious butthurt and biggus meanius. I expect him to go overboard and find the judge has a very good friend named Biggus Meanius. – likely not WJJH]

    Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. [I foresaw that Bill would step on his crank; my vision did not extend to how tightly the golf cleats were laced up, and I knew only that the cleats would be sharp enough. – quite possibly WJJH]

  4. How many violations of restraining orders via frivolous lolsuits does it take before someone is extradited to a state that issued such restraining orders?

    And B) If someone is incarcerated in state B while the frivolous lolsuit is ongoing in state A, can state C extradite him for violating said restraining orders?

  5. That silly complaint is subject to a motion to dismiss that anyone here could do in their sleep. Don’t forget to set up the motion for sanctions under Rule 11. He is on notice that his lolsuits are frivolous.

  6. Such a sorry boy and always ignoring me. Seriously, after celebrating and blogging and printing your latest lawsuit on the 16th can you tell me where to buy that t-shirt with an eagle in the center you were wearing? I like it you jerk. How many times must ask? Help a bro out.

    • I don’t think it’s an eagle – it’s a cat (death threat eleventy!!!!!1!!!) with Trump hair.

  7. Is it possible that the partially unnamed defendant “Walker” named several times and his complaint is actually Johnny Walker?

  8. Normally I would just lurk on the website and not comment but the latest lol suit is one for the record books. First as respect to defendants [redacted] and [redacted] they both have a motion to dismiss based on [redacted] and a sanctions motion over the same conduct.

    All defendants have a motion to dismiss again with sanctions because [redacted]

    [redactions] added to not educate the DF

    As well I want to get in on the pool on when this suit crashes and burn. My guess is 94 days

    • You don’t need to worry about educating him, as far as anyone can tell. He still doesn’t get diversity, even though he accidentally managed to clear that incredibly low hurdle.

      He literally can’t understand any of it. He’s that stupid. I haven’t checked the local rules for a page limit on MTD’s, yet, but that might be the hardest part of getting this turd flushed: getting all the blatantly obvious grounds for dismissal into one MTD. Good thing there’s so many defendants!

  9. He says this every time he sues the exact same people. No one is afraid. They are laughing at him.

      • BS admitted that HE is Krendler.

        • Are we caught in some sort of time loop? I feel light-headed, almost as if I keep reliving the same stupidity again and again.

        • Indeed, he has said the exact same things at the beginning of EACH lolsuit he has filed and LOST.

          • He’s under the impression that the fact he never actually got far enough to have a judge sanction him for wasting the court’s time means he hasn’t lost ON THE MERITS!!!! Not realizing that never getting that far means his complaints have never had any merit.

          • This is virtually identical to the claims that his welfare lawyer refused to litigate. Think about it: if you had a free lawyer appointed by the court, and his billing rate is conservatively around $350/hr at a MINIMUM, and the guy tells you to dismiss the case, you likely don’t have one.

            As for a lot of other stuff, I will just say res judicata, collateral estoppel, and with prejudice.

        • “Cash me in South Carolina, how bow dah?”

          Three days of residency does not make SC law applicable to your interstate butthurt parade.

          • “I’ve never once lost on the merits. I lost because I’m an abject moron.”

          • “Three days of residency does not make SC law applicable to your interstate butthurt parade.”

            But it *DOES* make [redacted]. I can’t wait to see the Twitter feltdown when he finds that out.

          • If he has three years of material he CAN produce what Hoge’s demanding in DISCOVERY!

            Admission against interest, much?

          • Three years of material? But isn’t most of that barred from being introduced?

  10. “Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.”

    Well of course it is. You wrote the script.

    This is like breaking down the third/fourth wall.

    Still, I did love that fourth-wall scene in the Muppet Movie….

  11. One of the things that I find interesting is BS’s inability to view anything in more than one direction. For example, one of his favorite arguments is that if he has not been convicted of something, it is defamatory and libel per se to accuse him of it.
    –Hoge has not been convicted of “forging” a “fake letter,” perjury, harassment, incitement, etc.
    –Stranahan and his wife have never been convicted of prostitution, pimping, or abusing their kids.
    –Grady has not been convicted of forging a fake letter, harassment, stalking, incitement, etc.
    Neither have Eric, Ash, or anyone else who irritates him.

    Yet, BS’s posts are filled with factual assertions that these people have done these things, yet there are no convictions. In other words, by his own metric, he has defamed them.

    • You are wise to rebut Wailing Willie simply by using his own so-called logic even when it is utterly wrong because doing so is quite funny.

      Otherwise, the temptation to point out the real flaws in LOLSuit VIII might be overwhelming because they are even funnier. I have restrained myself several times from pointing out idiocies in this latest suit, but the categories of idiocy go on and on: venue, res judicata, collateral estoppel, truth, satire, fair use, hyperbole, public figure, Section 230, Brandenburg, door opening, and admissions against interest do not exhaust them. I believe there is at least one example under each of those rubrics in LOLSuit VIII. It is only right, however, to let the defendants have the fun of pointing them out in excruciating detail each idiocy.

  12. At the end of the day, Oliver Wendell Jones is going to keep going from state to state until he finds one where the law is as dumb as he is. And it isn’t going to matter because of the Fourteenth Amendment.

    Republican types loathe it, but it often proves useful.

  13. “One can only picture them, puddled together in the Motel 8 bed, fat mingling, jiggling with excitement as they entertain each other with 2nd grade level humor.”

  14. Bill you need to go and take an remedial reading course ASAP.

    Your need to read the order dismissing your last Federal Law suite, then read the FRCP , if you do not understand them then talk to an attorney, because with this filing you Bill have totally ignored them.

    I do not know what Grady will do, but I know what I would have my lawyer do–especially since he would be paid by you–you would not like it.

      • Maybe so, but extracting money from his bank account can’t be on the list. Speaking of, given that this is the eighth time the same nonsense has been filed against the same people, isn’t it about time that stupidity should be financially painful? Don’t just get the suit dismissed and laugh at him for being an idiot, make it hurt enough that he stops doing this.

  15. Everybody should remind themselves that logic, reason and consistency do not enter into his world. Like an alien species on Star Trek, the Schmalefedtians respond to emotions, with emotions. Think of the Ferengi, but attention is his ladinem.

    This is about repeating the charges against Grady, Hoge, Sara and sometimes Aaron — essentially kicking sand on their beach towels as he preens. Winning? He’s never heard of it! Losing? He doesn’t even remember the details of the last several losses in court. He wouldn’t remember the discovery hearing without an audio recording. So he made one.

    Remember the last time you were really, totally in rage? Your comprehension, good sense and memory totally shut down. That is Bill Schmalefeldt, 24/7.

    • Latinum.

      Incidentally, it was skidding to see the transition of the ferengi from seeing gold as a precious metal in The Last Outpost, to their calling it worthless in deep space nine.

  16. I couldn’t finish reading Bill’s complaint. Boring. Fraught with innuendo and unprovable statements. The same old shinola we are used to seeing. Yawn.

    • It’s like those tv shows that throw together scenes from previous episodes, toss in a little new filler and pretend it’s a new episode. ‘Clip show’.

      Except you’re supposed to use good scenes that worked the first time around.

    • Oh sweet Lord, he understands NOTHING about the law does he? Well, he’ll find out when his 8th lawsuit gets tossed due to his incompetence.

      • The first question is whether he’s going to pony up the filing fee or save his money for vinyl patch kits.

        • You didn’t hear? He’s POOR and pretty much homeless ever since he ditched his car right before filing. Good thing his blow up boyfriend folds down small into that hobo pack he’ll be toting around.

    • Guess I never should worry that anyone could educate the dumbf5ck after all.

      You go with that, Biwwy.

    • I did read and compare. amended? HA!!!!

      Of course bil’s problem is with the FRCP.

    • Hey DUMBFUCK, you can only use the stuff that gave you diaper rash before you filed. Of course, this will be laughed out of court long before you ever get a chance to have a judge explain that to you.

    • The Truthatory?

      Is that *another* BS Twitter account?

      Isn’t there some sort of limit–short of infinity?

      • Yes he has butthurt today because of RE-BRANDING. That steer has to run out of unmarked hide sometime.

        • Twitter should change their business model.

          Charge $5 to open a account. $10. $25.

          X$ per year; like a subscription. Recurring revenue and all that.

          Frankly, if I had double-digit (triple? why yes, I think so-) accounts I’d be embarrassed. I’d re-evaluate my life.

  17. Man who has messed up seven lawsuits, who repeatedly misspells his own name and German phrases, starts using his favorite catchphrase, anew!

  18. Such a small scared little boy … Bill when you took that photo was it after you finished writing your lawsuit? You look happy, why so happy? You’ve got Sarah hiding according to you and this photo could be a memorial to when you destroyed her. Do tell.

  19. Its going to be so delicious when Mr. Hoge beats the sh*t out of him (in court). I hope its so brutal he finally takes the cure once he finally realises how much his pedo hero’s advice has screwed him over.

  20. I’ve figured out Schmallballz’s Fool-Proof Strategy(TM). Everyone remember when Biwwy thought he’d win everyone’s house and wife in one of the early lolsuits–perhaps even his first–back in the day? Biwwy got rid of both his wife and his house. In his universe, he literally cannot lose now.

    This Fool-Proof Strategy(TM) is probably brought on by some 180 proof liquids, but that’s nothing a few years in a cell with Bubba won’t detox out of him.

  21. He’s going to amend the complaint? Because, OF COURSE he knows that the date you file is the CUT OFF for the cause of action, right?

    • Because after asking Bill in comment sections at least three times and Bill ignoring my questions, he according to his logic admitted he became a SC resident (CNN debate in the background) and within a couple hours wrote his 57 page complaint.

      Hey, Billy Boy consult the cite (not applicable) in your complaint. You’re screwed. Do explain when you began to write.

      4 or 36 hours is trivial stuff. Show your ID punk.

  22. Have any of his many previous lawsuits ever made it past procedural grounds and been dismissed on actual law? Maybe a judge writing “NO, this isn’t what harassment means” will finally dent his skull.

    Not that I’m recommending that…

    • He did take about ten pounds worth of paperwork to his welfare lawyer in Chicago. That lawyer had the case for a short amount of time, and pointed out to Bill that he had absolutely no case. That same fact has been pointed out to Bill by at least six other judges. But Bill being the World’s Stupidest Man™ never learns.

      • He’s isn’t quite as dumb as Thomas A Mix the #VeroBeahCrybully who has dropped a wad of money for a dog of a lawsuit….

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