28 thoughts on “Legal LULZ Du Jour

  1. If he avoids this, he will most likely get subpoenaed.

    Bill needs exercise, going on the run, may be the perfect chance to do so.

    Of course it would be on the waddle for the first 300 pounds.

    • Yup. Incarceration. Looka that.

      Is that common language in every such order? I should know that, I know, but I’ve never had to protect myself from contempt findings before.

      Maybe Oliver Wendell Jones can tell us.

  2. OK. This is fine. Bill still has to be served, and has done NOTHINK* to indicate that he is avoiding service(1) or hiding assets(2).

    * see Schultz, Sgt! No Think! is an acceptable alternative.

    (1) “First I have to be served.” – William Schmalfeldt.

    (2) “The truck has gone to Jesus.” Kinda like the old car went to his sister while he was being sued before.

    So: The hiding ass may be hiding assets.

    • As I remember it, the car went just before he fraudulently filed for IFP in Wisconsin.

      It didn’t end well for him. It never does for a DUMBFUCK.

      • Hate to contradict, but he “donated” the car to his sister when in MD, as that case _started_ to turn south. He didn’t flee until Edgren got involved, and listed that as a question on his list of challenges to IFP in MD. At which point he fled as if the hounds of Hell, but not Raven and Shiloh, were upon him.

        By the time he reached sanctuary with the Ninja-nuns, he was unable to drive, feebly mocked Aaron’s “flatbed and forklift” comments, and had settled in with his decreptitude.

        Amazing how he recovered; merely three weeks after he told the judge he couldn’t drive, he bought a car. Drove to Chicago, and back. Moved to Iowa.

        Had his tires totally slashed, because HATERS!!! totally, and not curb-riding.

        Drove from Iowa to South Carolina in a rental. Took a photo at the beach. Drove back to Iowa. Loaded up the Failuremobile and moved in with, near as I can tell, a bad incident in the Crayola aisle back in South Carolina.

        Hoge points most of this out to the judge. Bill, wisely, sends the judge pics of his car, that he’s previously sworn to the judge he can’t drive.

        Yeah, this story will end well. Just not for Bill.

          • To be fair, he’s fraudulently filed for IFP so many times, it’s hard to keep track.

  3. I’m pretty sure (and if this educates the monkey it’ll be a friggin’ miracle, but Mr. Hoge can redact if need be) that if the chunky wunky blubber slab somehow evades service, he has more than sufficiently dug his own grave on providing adequate alternative service.

      • This is quite possibly the best metaphor I have heard describing what Bill does. Brava!

        And no, it’s not a good idea. But, Schmalfeldt. And, Maryland. Hopefully one will prove that it has a backbone.

  4. I’d just like to point out that Bill Schmalfeldt was never invited to this party. We were interested in the antics of Brett Kimberlin when this “clown” showed up. We didn’t know about his various crash and burns on the Internet. But we know now.

    He has driven himself into our attention on his own. He could have diverted to another cause, but he remained here. Pooping on the furniture, recklessly throwing lawsuits around and being a general jerk.

    The attention he has craved will soon come to fruition.

    • For reasons that delight me, the word “jerk” makes me think of Norm Macdonald, who would be the King of Canada were there any justice in the world.

  5. I have seen some stupid things for Bill Schmalfeldt. The two are practically synonymous. But, I didn’t think Bill was stupid enough to insist that a judge jump through another hoop. If he were acting to have John Hoge jump through yet another hoop that would make
    a certain amount of lawfare sense, but, to do the same to judge would only inconvenience the judge. Does Bill Schmalfeldt really think the judge will look more favorably upon him after inconveniencing him? Besides, isn’t the judge’s inconvenience going to be having to order the production of, and signing of, a bench warrant?

    Bill Schmalfeldt can try to hide the fact that has been summoned, but, couldn’t John Hoge just mention that Bill Schmalfeldt was summoned in a filing [with said summons as an exhibit]? Then, either Bill Schmalfeldt will have to let the motion go unanswered, or, admitted he is aware that he has been ordered to appear in the Court.

    Hasn’t he just made that admission on twitter?

  6. Appear in person
    8:45 AM
    including incarceration

    No more appearing by internet and illegally recording things.
    Possibly no more ability to flee.

    And if he blows this off, don’t get pulled over for a broken taillight. Seems someone else was wrongly warned about that.

  7. I’m figuring our host will be able to use the sites visitors log to show Billy Blob should be aware of his requested presence. I’m almost betting that our host can use Bill’s own twitter post about acknowledging his address error, but has not contacted the court to fix that pesky problem.

    • Isn’t there usually an extra charge for taking rentals out of state? I think Bill is too poor to afford that. After he wasted his blood money he wound up homeless.

  8. Pingback: It’s Almost Like Everything is Proceeding as Forseen | BILLY SEZ – The words of W.M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Serial Litigant, Woman Hater, Jackwagon

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