Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the reasons the Cabin Boy™ has lost every LOLsuit he’s filed and almost every motion he’s filed in any suits he’s been involved in is that he doesn’t follow directions. If a rule says to do A, he will do Q. If a judge tells him to do X, he will do X+Y or, maybe, Z. For example, the last paragraph of this order tells the Cabin Boy™ what Judge Hecker has ordered him to do, …

… and here’s what Schmalfeldt says he was planning to do.

As the Gentle Reader can see, that isn’t what the judge ordered.

T-minus 3 days and counting.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Oh, one more thing … It was warm in Myrtle Beach yesterday, and the Post Office is only about 0.8 mi from the Cabin Boy’s™ new lair. It would have been a nice day for a ride on Scooty-Puff. Does anyone know what happened to Scooty-Puff? Or Boris? Or Jake?

65 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

    • My first year of law school, we had a professor in civil procedure who told us, in order to get ready for the final exam, that he always used a combination of questions from his last 5 final exams, and that they were all on file at the law library. So I thought (as did many) “gee, that’s dumb, he just wants everyone to get 100.” And I studied his old exams and got a 98 or something, as did 60% of the class. It was a detailed, nitpicky test, but when you’ve been allowed to study all the possible questions, it wasn’t that challenging.

      Amazingly, about 40% of that first-year class struggled to get a C, and several failed outright!! And as I came to understand, that was this professor’s way of quickly weeding out all of those students who did not have the ability to follow clear and simple directions, plainly given. (plus those who just didn’t pay any attention at all) Really quite clever of the old goat.

  1. Wait a minute, bill said he mopped the floor with you at that hearing–yet he is the one who is ORDERED by the court to take actions.

  2. Has it been noted that Bill Schmalfeldt purchased a medical scooter to aid in his Fakinson’s related mobility issues? What happened with that scooter? Did medicade pay all or some of it? What would they think if they find out it was obtained under false pretenses? Bill should openly explain where that “medical” scooter is right now.

    p.s “Scooty Puff………….IT’S RED VROOM VROOM”

    • Proof that his mobility issues were greatly exaggerated is the fact that he had to pay out of pocket for it.

      • That’d funny. They paid in full for my $6k power chair years ago, and gait disturbance is the least serious of my PD symptoms.

        How odd.

        I also notice from the videos he posts that he displays-

        – zero tremor
        – no slowness of movement (bradykinesia)
        – no signs of rigidity or stiffness
        – no dyskinesia (a common side effect of the drug that is almost always used)
        – zero stooping posture
        – no facial masking or loss of expression
        – none of the voice problems commonly found in people with PD
        – a gait, that while appearing labored, displays NO Parkinsonian shuffle or festination
        – he readily sits in a recliner that I and every other PD sufferer I know would avoid like the plague, due to our inability get up from it! It would take two strong men to get me out of that thing.
        – his manual dexterity seems excellent and completely unaffected by PD, as shown in the vids as well as his habit of pumping out streams ot flawless tweets at a blinding pace. (I’d hate to mention how long I’ve been typing at this post.)

        And so on….

        Amazing, this symptom-free “stage IV Parkinson’s disease”. Where do i sign up for that kind?

        • Apparently if you just wash a few dishes and mop up your own pee for a week or so you can cure yourself like Bill did.

          • Interesting! I can wash dishes and mop up pee, in a fashion. One question: is killing your wife a required step in the Schmalfeldt-cure?

            Cause that’s a deal-breaker. My wife is a real keeper. ‘Rule-five’ and a total sweetheart, (BTW, Parkinson’s – the real kind – does NOT mean an end to a sex life! Just a less athletic one…)

            Nah, Bill,can keep his miracle cure, I’ll take my situation any day.

          • “There’s the way [PD] can uncomplicate even the most COMPLEX relationships! My wife and I have always been best friends, partners and soulmates since we met in 1988. I love her with all my heart. Only NOW we don’t have those pesky “sex” complications that can cause disagreements and discordance in even the most STABLE marriages. If she’s not in the mood, that’s fine—cuz neither am I!” – Bill Schmalfeldt

        • – a gait, that while appearing labored, displays NO Parkinsonian shuffle or festination

          Labored? Hey, it ain’t easy to get 30 stone rolling, IYKWIMAITYD.

  3. What happens to things when Schmallballz has no use for them any more? No one knows. It’s just one of those things that will always be mysterious. Like the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body. They just vanish.

  4. Well, last time he was a government employee, he brought credit to the NIH BY JUMPING MOSTLY NAKED ON A BED WEARING A GIMP MASK.

    • Remember when Shiloh ran away just before Christmas 2014? BS then: meh. we’ll check the pound. If she’s not there, she probably (ed. – against all statistics) found a home.

      He either opened the door and threw them out, or returned them to the pound.

  5. There is no girlfriend. Odds are better, but next to zero, that there’s a real boyfriend.

    The photos of the person BS is using vary greatly, almost like he’s donning different costumes, a BS trait. His tweets are vulgar, crude and uninformed, like BS’s. He uses a male name on the internet. He shaves as evidenced by razor stubble, and his teeth are terrible. In fact, they’re worse than BS’s teeth. He’s also overweight.

    Why does this matter? All of the above, plus a lot more, provide strong evidence that this is just another BS con, and there is no girlfriend:
    (1) BS hates bad teeth, with a passion. He HATES them. The internet is riddled with his nasty comments about the teeth of Lee, LG, Stacy, and the innocent and uninvolved family members of commenters, including their children.
    (2) He hates fat people, and was proud of his late wife’s weight loss, claiming that she did it “the old fashioned way,” which later turned out to be a lie, but that’s not relevant to this discussion.
    (3) He loves to change his appearance, wear costumes, and “rebrand” himself.
    (4) He loves to photoshop himself and others.
    (5) he has had over 200 Twitter accounts, has almost a dozen active ones, and often tweets and retweets himself
    (6) He often uses fake names
    (7) He has claimed to be others, e.g., Paul Krendler, then denied it
    (8) He cannot have sex
    (9) He’s a pauper and has blown through the $15,000 insurance payout
    (10) His late wife was his “soulmate” and the finest and “only decent” person he has ever known. I never saw a mean or vulgar comment from that woman.
    (11) He admitted that he is compulsive, and is so poor at handling money that his late wife took his credit cards away
    (12) He is morbidly obese
    (13) He has 9 restraining orders to his name

    Given the above, and that list is not exhaustive, who believes that a real woman would find attractive a crude, poor, compulsive, obese man who claims to have PD, with 9 restraining orders? Would a real live woman be satisfied knowing that she could never, ever measure up to wife #3, that she would always be compared to her and always fall short?

    Who believes that BS would really date, let alone marry, a fat woman with no money and bad teeth? I don’t. As for the reasons I think this is really a man, maybe a friend of BS’s or another “progressive” helping him troll all of us:
    (1) He keeps dramatically changing his appearance, like Ru Paul’s Drag Race
    (2) Lies about his age
    (3) Bizarre hair color
    (4) Shaves
    (5) Uses male names on the internet
    (6) Possibility that he’s homosexual
    (7) Vulgar and crude like BS
    (8) They appear to drink together during the day
    (9) Not feminine at all

    BS’s “boyfriend’s” teeth are so bad that, given his relatively young age, I believe that two likely possibilities exist for their condition: he is either a foreigner or using meth. Unlike BS, I don’t falsely accuse people of drug used based on their teeth alone. Because I have seen zero evidence of drug use, I am leaning toward him being a foreigner, possibly someone from the UK. I suspect a beach bum liberal who came for the surf and sun who BS picked up.

    • who believes that a real woman would find attractive a crude, poor, compulsive, obese man who claims to have PD, with 9 restraining orders?

      On the infinitesimal chance that Bill could attract a woman…quit laughing…..I would say the odds are high it would be due to his taxpayer funded health insurance and life insurance.

      Bill, if you do marry that fugly man, you’ll be in your own clock inside of two years.

      • He said that his life insurance is the same amount as his late wife’s, in the $10,000-$15,000 range. He also said that with “careful management” that amount would provide him with a comfortable living the rest of his life. He blew it all in less than a year. Anyone who would hook up with BS for such a paltry sum is beyond pathetic.

        • More thoughts on the “boyfriend’s” twitter account:
          (1) would a real person who does not know and has never met Hoge just jump in and starting tweeting offensive and crude insults at him and his son?
          (2) would a real person laugh and join in when BS makes fun of the appearance of others, and then get into a snit when people mention that he’s not the best looking guy, himself?
          (3) Bills would repeatedly try to weaponize his late wife by taking and posting unflattering photos of her, and revealing personal and embarrassing information. He tried to use her family after she passed away.

          Conclusion: just another Schmalfeldt sock account that he’s using to create a perception of stalking and harassment by first baiting and insulting others. When they respond, he whines and plays the victim.

  6. “Does anyone know what happened to Scooty-Puff? Or Boris? Or Jake?”

    I am guessing that the Great Red Scotty-Puff was rusted out from the deluge of Fear Pee that it was subjected to, and is now residing behind the dumpster at the NinjaNunnery in St Francis.

    As for Jake and Boris, wherever they are, they are better off that being tortured by Bwilly.

  7. And now he uses parts of his ill gotten botty as parts of his rancid attempt at musical styling. Seriously, it’s nauseating…

    What was that about not walking in a f*cking himself? I’m gonna call him da Crank Steppa!

  8. What a joke. One of the benefits of years of BS oversharing? Knowing the truth behind the “dental insurance” he claims to have, which he mysteriously didn’t use to fix his teeth or his late wife’s. If this character turns out to be real, boy, is he in for a surprise!

  9. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 05.12.17 : The Other McCain

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