84 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Glad he got those new tires and the oil change. He’s going to be driving his crapwagon up to Maryland.

    Lucky for him he is homeless, so a possible change of address mandated by the state won’t be such a big thing.

    Oopsie poopsie!!

  2. Shakey can’t say he wasn’t warned….

    Well he can say it, but, as usual, it would be just another lie.

  3. I used to think Schmalfeldt used a spinning pointer on a decision board.

    Then I had to downgrade that thought to Schmalfeldt using a magic 8-ball.

    Now, I have no idea what Schmalfeldt could possibly be using to make decisions. It’s certainly not coming from an accumulated knowledge base or from historical perspective.

    Maybe there is some external element outside of Schmalfeldt’s brain, something which Schmalfeldt himself has no control over, which somehow forces Schmalfeldt to choose, from all possible options, the most stupid, self-damaging, incomprehensible path to follow. Every freaking time. I wonder what, or who, it could be?

    But more importantly, where’d I put that popcorn…

    • I think he uses a pool table and a billiard ball. If the ball stops rolling, that’s a sign he should absolutely implement whatever cockamamie scheme he’s come up with this time.

    • Now, I have no idea what Schmalfeldt could possibly be using to make decisions

      D&D dice. Problem is the penalty to the roll from low Wisdom.

    • I think he thinks he’s playing some sort of video side-scrolling fight game. He has completely confused which energy/life bar is his and his opponent’s, and he thinks he’s doing well. He also doesn’t realize that losing the game could have Real Life consequences.

  4. Murum Aries Attigit…

    Couldn’t have happened to a douchier fatbag than Biwwy Schmallz.

    I was wondering which would be better: jail time or a fine.


    May the judge do so as well.

    • Seriously, how much of a DUMBFUCK do you have to be to engage in contempt of court DURING a hearing to determine if you’re in contempt of court.

      My lulcow would be like O.J Simpson … if Juice beheaded Marcia Clark during his murder trial.

    • None. David lives there and Bill is absolutely TERRIFIED of crossing David again.

      • This was the most incredible display of anything ever!

        EDGREN: “If you continue this silly lulzsuit, I will file this motion, followed by this one and this one.”

        LULCOW: “EXTORTION!!!! OMG, OMG! I’M BEING EXTORTED, EVERYBODY!!!! Okay, I give up. Please don’t hurt me.”

      • I’d quite forgotten this Glorious Schmalfeldt Victory. It’s so easy to lose one amongst all the others.

  5. “shirt” = his pajamas.

  6. Let’s see. Bill done messed up. Bill has also told the court he can’t drive, then proved that to be a lie. Bill abused the liberty of appearing by Skype to violate the court rules.

    Yeah, I think the court will look favorably on Hoge’s request that Bill appear in person.

  7. He should be sanctioned by the Court just like his sidekick Batman Brett should be. But Billy Boy may be mentally deranged

    • Both Brett and Bill have been sanctioned by the court and ordered to pay money. So far neither of them has. Deadbeat losers gotta be deadbeat losers. One lives in Mommies basement, the other moved into a cheap motel with his Lady Boi.

      Say, what was Bill’s new man doing living in a cheap motel in the first place? Hmmmm

      • Wait – are you saying he’s with a man whore? I suspected he was paying someone, but I did not know it was a pro.

        • Shakey isnt a man whore, he doesnt have the equipment from what I’ve heard, however I do believe whatever fugly guy he’s got pretending to be his girlfriend would fit the definition.

    • Wait…you’re telling me he made the announcement of his engagement as merely a postscript to an attack on Krendler???


      At least she knows where she stands in relative importance in his life. Girl, that’s a wake up call!

      Bill S SO reminds me of a creep I once knew- near toothless at 30, a grifter, a con-man, but always had a lady at his side, some seriously damaged lass who needed attention. It never ended well. The women were no great shakes but had done nothing to deserve the eventual humiliation of realizing they were being used.

      Hopefully she will wake up in time, like wife#1, before she ends up like wife#2.

        • Damn! This would be his 4th wife??? And he, a two time dumpee has the gall to laugh at someone who gets div…oh, wait. Shmalfeldt. Of course he does.

          • Not only did 2 wives toss his loser ass out, none of his kids will speak to him either.

            Oh, and he abandons pets. Cause he is a giant shit heel who only cares about himself.

    • Bollocks.

      The one thing Krendler can never forgive is Shakes becoming a law abiding citizen. He’s been doing things to make himself happy for years – you don’t get restraining orders because you’re doing something you hate. Because that would be…

      hm… ok, I forgot who we were talking about here.

    • So, his mode of celebrating his union with yet another soulmate is “Take that, Krendler!!!”

      Love sure has changed since my wooing days.

    • I can see the wedding now:

      Pastor: “Do you take this….thing…to be your lawful wedded…person?”

      Biwwy: Paul Krendler will never be as awesome as I am!

      Pastor: I need a yes or a no.

      Biwwy: Doesn’t this just burn Krendler like the way my herpes burns me? He’s not at the altar with Ronald McDonald like I am!

      Pastor: Any time today would be nice.

      BIwwy: Who wants some Johnny Walker Red? I know I do!

      Pastor: Close enough.

    • There will be no consummation if any of this turns out to be real. BS cannot have sex, and has no interest in it.

        • Oh, no, he claims that he still has PD. Sex is an autonomic function that doesn’t improve with light housekeeping.

          Given his recent near death experience with indigestion, which he claimed was cancer, and now claims to be a result of his deteriorating autonomic health as a result of fake-PD, he is getting worse. Of course, if he is having sex, that just means that he lied to his late wife for years to get out of having to have intimate contact with her. In fact, his PD was so bad that he had to sleep in an entirely separate $3,000 bed. The bed he desperately needed in Maryland before he abandoned it and the dogs.

          • Let’s be fair, now Getting that bed on a train to Wisconsin would have tested the patience of even the nicest of young men.

  8. OK, THIS time I’m staking out a position. There is NO WAY IN HELL Our Gracious Host could have foreseen THIS.

    • Point of order.

      This comes under subsection 49, paragraph 4. Title “Team Kimberlin may occasionally exceed expectations for stupidity”.

      It has happened before, albeit not often.

      • Damned loophole… foiled again!

        And THAT is why I fought so hard against accepting that amendment. I saw it as a way for Our Gracious Host to maintain his perfect procognitive record without actually foreseeing each detail, and I thought that was unfair.

        I blame my loss on Russian hackers.

        • Yea, sorry. Under Special Appendix XXI only Democrats under multiple FBI investigation can claim Russian hackers as grounds for any loss.

          You should go to more meetings. You’d know this stuff.

  9. Mr. Schmalfeldt’s image over at his SoundCloud account looks like he has a touch of diaper rash.

  10. What the Dread Pedo and Cabin Boy should be thinking about is: Bannon is working on picking the successor to FBI Director right now.

  11. Well, for what it’s worth this is my prediction.

    He’ll file a motion essentially saying “my understanding of the rule is correct and I was allowed to do this” but of course put in lots of bluster and noise and lies about Hoge and the judge will issue a warning that if he repeats the action he’ll be slapped with a slightly damp bus ticket.

    Cos, Maryland.

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