Yours Truly,Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny, Paul Candler. Have you seen anything about The Grouch’s whereabout for the last week or two?

JOHNNY: No. Come to think of it, I haven’t. Hasn’t he trying to get some sort of long distance romance started.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. It looks that way. I’m wondering if he’ll use it as an excuse to move again, trying to stay one step ahead of the process servers.

JOHNNY: That would fit his M. O. I think I’ll nose around a bit.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during the Red-Headed Leak Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @Zombie Redheads turned out to be a good clue for Holmes.

JOHNNY: The first clues were not too hard to find. A quick scan of Twitter, and [redacted]

ANNOUNCER: A Team Lickspittle Messenger Bag is a great way to keep your paperwork organized while you’re on the go. It’s just one of the useful trinkets with the Team Lickspittle, Res Judicata, Johnny Atsign, and The Grand Hog logos you’ll find at The Hogewash Store. Why not go by today and spend a bit of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle? All those goodies are available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar or by doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

[redacted]

NERD: Yeah. All you should have to do is sit back and monitor it.

JOHNNY: Why can’t they all be this easy?

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Curb your tongue, not your tires.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? Pylons? What additional pylons? Join us, won’t you.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for episodes of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

14 thoughts on “Yours Truly,Johnny Atsign

  1. Con Man 101, Lesson 3: once the mark tells you the lie he is desperate to hear, repeat it.

  2. Wow, the Grouch must be pretty stupid to go running everytime he’s about to be served. Are there really people out there that stupid? Wait, I seem to recall reading about a man so stupid that he got a dude to dye his hair pink and pretend to be his girlfriend all while doing a bad imitation of a woman’s voice on a podcast. That’s almost as stupid as moving to avoid service. Good thing this is fiction or the Grouch may be having an uncomfortable conversation with a judge.

    • He’s even stupider. He’s already been served. He has acknowledged that, and replied to the court with mind-numbingly stupid motions, like Hoge has no case because a Maryland Court cannot enforce a settlement agreement negotiated with a Maryland Court. OK, don’t like that one? The Maryland case, brought under Maryland State law, should be transferred to Milwaukee, where the judge might be drunk enough to buy some of The Grouch’s finest Slovenian horse product.

      The Grouch has a positive duty to keep the Court (and Hoge) appraised of his whereabouts. Johnny’s client mails things to the address on file with the Court, and The Grouch has been properly served with the documents. Didn’t get them because you moved and didn’t tell the Court? Too bad, so sad.

      As you say, good thing this is fiction because nobody would believe such a stupid person could tie his own shoes in real life.

  3. Good grief, BS is posting photos on his sock account. It is clear that this dude is NOT the same person as in some other photos. Yet another hair color, different face. Sorry, BS is trollling us, and no doubt having a good time doing it. I wonder who the guys are, however. Neighbors? Escorts?

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