83 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Now I’m sure he mailed you copies as required, they’re just lost in the mail. Hopefully, the court saved the envelopes so they know where to send any replies.

  2. If he filed a motion with 100+ pages wouldn’t he need to get leave from the court to do so? What is the page limit in this trial?

      • 3 days after a life insurance policy is taken out against….

        Sorry, against my better judgement I will engage in gender-neutral pronouns.

        The correct term is h’e or sh’e or ‘it, or contracted, “horshit.”

        So, three days after a life insurance policy is taken out against “horshit.”

        So, near as I can tell, Bill has to insure his “girlfriend” against any and all forms of horseshit. Including Slovenian… For three whole days, with no Great Red Spot from the Falling to Pet his Dogs incident… I hope he/she/or it isn’t an animal lover because the Wayback machine’s a bitch!

  3. ALL the visual proof provided by Bill indicates poor driving and worn-out tires as the cause of the damage. By the way, days after Bill doxxed me, by using his mad investigative journalist skills (my real name was on my blog) my tomato plants were vandalized by aphids, and the dry rot on my radiator hose finally caused a leak. Oh, and a tree limb fell on my Subaru. Right after he showed everyone a picture of my house. I mean, where can I sue?

    • I, for one, am glad he realizes he should not be rewarded.

      Wait, you mean he’s still not self-aware?

      Good Lord, Google is more sentient than Biwwy is.

      • Rest assured, Skynet and Bill are still running neck and… um… lack of neck?

        So Skynet is ahead of Bill by a neck? Still reassuring but not what I was hoping for…

        “Sleep, baby sleep, in peace may you slumber.
        No danger lurks, your peace to encumber.
        We’ve got the missiles, peace to determine,
        And one of the fingers on The Button will be German…”

        Yeah, kinda like that.

        Oh, and at 89, he’s still alive. Not dead yet, despite spreading the rumour around as widely as he could…

  4. He does not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I will leave personalities out of it, and just look at facts which either he has promulgated, or are supported by court documents:

    1. He is a pauper, and has told a court that he is, under oath, three separate times.
    2. He has had 9 restraining orders issued against him, including several to protect women and one to protect a toddler.
    3. He is incapable of having sex.
    4. His SIX ADULT children won’t interact with him, with one very limited exception, and he has not even met his grandchildren, with one limited exception.
    5. He has admitted many times, and told the court, that he has dementia.
    6. He has admitted that he cannot handle finances
    7. He has admitted that he wears adult diapers and has pooped his pants, the chair, and the shower

    Now, no man in his right mind would shack up with this much baggage, let alone a woman, especially someone younger with better options.

  5. I’m sure our Gracious Host is waiting anxiously for a copy to be properly served on him. He’ll wait a very long time. Then Bill will complain about how he shouldn’t have to follow the rules.

    Hey, anyone else notice this only got filed AFTER Bill claims to have found Captive Nurse 4.0? IF, and that’s a big if, she (I’m still betting based on the podcast voice that Bill is faking her or she is a he) is real I’ll bet he already has her running his postal errands. Word of advice to the maybe real dude dating Bill, if he takes out a life insurance policy on you RUN. We know what happened to the last one that was no longer useful to him.

  6. So, Bill Schmalfeldt’s misdeeds against John Hoge should be forgiven because Bill claims someone other than John Hoge slashed his tires? I assume the paperwork has some indication that John Hoge FINALLY learned of Schmalfeldt’s address around the time of the so-called vandalism.
    Please let me remind the court of public opinion that Bill Schmalfeldt published a picture of his home prior to moving in. Anybody upset enough to care could have zeroed in on the address long before the tires deflated from curb rash, gravity and misery.
    John Hoge has never advocated, encouraged or suggested vandalism.

  7. Now he’s claiming that light housework had such remarkable rehabilitative properties that he can drive once again. A month ago, it was just “exercise” that made it and a 16 pound weight loss possible, but that was before he changed his story to claim that the weight loss was mysterious and could be due to cancer.

    He’s lying. He exercised and had PT while he was with his late wife, he just exploited her willingness to put up with the con. Here is BS “not exercising”:

    He has written in his books and blogs at length about his exercising. Cleaning the toilet once a month does not reverse PD, a progressive neurological disorder.

  8. We’re all on pins and needles waiting to hear how you recovered from it, DUMBF*CK. Oh, and Michael J. Fox is waiting with bated breath too.

  9. OK, checking the sheet. The pool has a couple Bennies in it so I’ll post the winner who got as close to April 28, 10:17 am ET that Schmalfeldt has Parkinson’s again.

  10. “I suppose I should go by the Clerk’s Office and pick up copies.”

    How much do you wanna bet it doesn’t match what was improperly e-mailed to HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!111!111!!!!!!eleventy!!1! by Biwwy?

    So, question for legal peoples. What are the legal ramifications of:

    1) Improperly e-mailing something you’re claiming to file so you can get feedback on it.
    2) Filing an amended version of it with the court, but still not properly serving the person you’re supposed to?

    And most importantly of all:

    3) In Maryland.

    Yeah, that one ruins everything. Damn you, Maryland!

  11. Before I forget, the new online pool is active on when Cousin Bill posts a picture of he and the skank’s hairless cat in a “Dr. Evil” pose. Sounds like fun! Credit to BPO for the idea.

    Five bucks per entry, usual rules.

    Don’t forget the other active pools:

    – picture of new domicile posted
    – next rant on “Hoge/Krendler/Grady is stallllkiiing me!”
    – next phase of the Schmalcycle
    – next Twitter handle expiration (congrats to gb420 on the latest win – that was a HUGE pot!)
    – next faildox
    – next monkey dance
    – next pet abandonment
    – next call to or visit from the police
    – next characterization of anyone as a homosexual

    The next “butt stuff” reference pool has proven too unwieldy, so I’m canceling that as a recurring pool. Anyone who had outstanding lines on that one gets a credit or credits to apply to an active pool.

    [cross posted at TMZ]

  12. Seven years ago:

    “This is a questionnaire with 23 questions where each question has a value of 0 to 3 points (0=never, 3=often). It’s broken into six areas of autonomic function — gastrointestinal, urinary, cardiovascular, thermoregulation, pupilomotor dysfunction, and sexual dysfunction.
    My total score was 31, which places me in the “severe” group.

    Gastrointestinal – 8 – severe
    Urinary dysfunction – 11 — severe
    Cardiovascular dysfunction — 0 — PRISTINE!!! 🙂
    Thermoregulatory dysfunction — 4 — severe
    Pupillomotor dysfunction — 1 — severe (my eyes take forever to adjust to bright light)
    Sexual dysfunction — 6 — severe
    Bottom line — My PD has progressed to the point where I have severe autonomic difficulties. Big news.”

    Remember when he peed himself and it was PD? And pooped his pants? And could no longer have sex?


    • For those who don’t know what “autonomic” means, it refers to bodily activities that occur without you thinking about it or making it happen ( like walking) like digestion, or sweating, or how your sex organs respond when aroused. You CANNOT exercise to make those things better. They don’t get better with PD, they get worse.

  13. But it works in Iowa, and on two road trips in two weeks that totalled over 4,000 miles! “I can’t travel, yadda yadda…PD! The lotto ticket that keeps on giving!”

  14. I do hope Dumbf5ck has more than just his say so to back up his allegations.

    and I’m pretty sure having your imaginary girlfriend “email” a statement to the court that it’s the truth doesnt count…even in Maryland.

  15. Ah, look at brave Sir Robin!
    1. Tweet repeated insults at the man you currently imagine to be Krendler
    2. Tag in your sockpuppet “girlfriend” account
    3. Have the sock join in and insult PK
    4. When PK responds to the sock with a question, jump in, beat your chest and pretend to be victims.
    This from the man who calls women c*nts, tw*ts, and mail order brides. The man who 4 women had to get retraining orders against.

    • I think that Johnny Atsign’s PI report and interviews with the two wives who kicked a hypothetical stalker to the curb, the ones who wouldn’t put up with certain proclivities any more, would make a fascinating episode of Johnny Atsign. All fiction, of course.

    • Wow! Responding to someone who tweets DIRECTLY TO YOU is now stalking according to dumb5ck…. he’s even more ridiculous than usual.
      I guess that is what happens when you try to pretend to be your own girlfriend.

    • OK, so RedHeadTurkey. Not Reno.

      Coastal South Carolina. Not coastal Reno NV.

      This makes (slightly) more sense, but why would ANY DumbF5ck go to all this trouble _after_ annoying the court by responding to proper service with the world’s dumbest motions?

  16. Oh, good grief. He’s changed his avatar and clearly photoshopped someone into the photo. Pathetic. And he’s ranting and raving at Krendler, who isn’t even tweeting at him. This is the guy who claims he’s being stalked and has to invent a boyfriend because he can’t get a date.

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