Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


On 31 March, the Cabin Boy™ emailed me a copy the official change of address form that submitted to the Circuit Court to advise the Clerk of his Clinton, Iowa, address. On 3 April, I served court papers on the Cabin Boy™ by mail using the address he provided on that form. According to the USPS tracking information for the package, it was put in the Cabin Boy’s™ mailbox on the 5th.

However, on 20 April, the Clinton, Iowa, Post Office processed it for return. I received it back on the 22nd, marked: RETURN TO SENDER. ATTEMPTED—NOT KNOWN. UNABLE TO FORWARD.

Maybe the postman should have looked under the porch.

64 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. I thought you disallowed emails from The Johnnie Walker Red Baron a bit ago, Mr. Hoge? And if not then, perhaps now is a good time to do so.

  2. What? Schmalfeldt afraid of some mail? Why would Bill Schmalfeldt, the Lyin’ of Lebanon, the last guy standing in a bar fight, Mr. Internet Tough Guy want to ignore email from the one man he believes he can beat in life and in court?

    Huh. Remember when he called everyone a “pussy” for not accepting his mailed summons and how the courts were going to not look favorably on that? Wonder what happened to that Bill Schmalfeldt, American Gladiator and Internet Superhero?

    Oh yeah, it’s just fiction.

    • Yep. I was going to have to pay tons of money because I wouldn’t accept the initial package, the one with the waiver, which I did not legally have to sign. (At least he didn’t claim that I was going to be facing jail time for not accepting, as opposed to the great Slovahoovian Horse Poop caper, where I was going to do time in a federal prison for not telling him who sent it.)

      And then of course, he discovered that a dim girl knew how to hire really scary lawyers and had enough brains to figure out that if one dim girl could figure it out, the other might too.

      • It’s just so lovely seeing this side of Bill Schmalfeldt out in the open at last. His bluster has been all smoke and mirrors all along. He’s the most pathetic of creatures. A real bully. The kind who sweeps up his skirts and runs when things don’t go his way. SMH

      • I still laugh when I think of his whining about “are you never open?!” during the week between Christmas and New Year.

        I don’t know who signed for those pieces of crap, either. It’s not important, I was going to accept them anyway, but we close over Christmas, so that was a really stupid time to mail anything to the office.

        So, who’s dim?

        Phone, diner.

        • God, yes, that! He really didn’t seem to be able to comprehend that there are some businesses that really do close for a week and that their employees don’t live in the office.

          Besides the squick factor of having something he’d written in the house, I have to admit I rather suspected that the damn thing would be dropped before it ever came time to properly serve me. And I was proven right. Even if your lawyer hadn’t put the fear of God into him, he would probably would have had second thoughts as soon as he found he had to pay up front for service; he seemed to think that it was COD, rather than it being a cost which, if he won, he could claim at the end.

  3. Hummmmm……..I’m wondering if I’ve seen the “Not at this address” writing style prior to this package? If the Cabin Boy is the person who wrote it, he will be in big trouble!! I’m sure Mr Lardass Noimpulsecontrol had nothing to do with the package being returned to John. I mean who is stupid enough to move across the country to live intimately with someone they just met a few days ago!? Is he dumb enough to notify the Court in Maryland of his new address in Iowa, then a few days later move 1,000+ miles to the Carolinia’s?

    Of course he is, we don’t call him Dumbfu#% for nothing.

  4. Let me see if I have this right….

    It was delivered on the 5th. It then sat unopened… somewhere… until the 19th or 20th, when it was marked up for return.

    When was it that CBBS hiked up his skirts and fled “his town?”

  5. All I can say is…

    Oopsie poopsie.

    Schmallballz will find out why eventually. And I will laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

  6. Pingback: Team Kimberlin Strategies | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

  7. Bill, refusing mail again right after to told the court that’s your address?

    World’s Stupidest Man™

    • He has openly planned to default:

      “So, Hoge gets a default judgment. What does it mean to the bottom line?
      Not a fucking red cent…. I honestly don’t know whether or not I care to indulge this sad, empty, heartless, senile old man any further. This lawsuit is the only thing keeping him alive. If I continue to participate in it, I am giving this aging monster reason to live.” – Bill Schmalfeldt

      Summary:
      1. In August/September 2016, BS perjured himself about his ability to travel
      2. Within 3 weeks of said perjury, he bought a car and started driving back and forth to Chicago, in addition to an unaccompanied train trip.
      3. Within approximately 3 months of lying to the court, he moved himself to another state, got a job, rented a 2- level single family home with stairs, a basement laundry room, and got a cat and a dog. He failed to notify the court of his change of address, while taunting Hoge to find him.
      4. He posted a photo of the house on Twitter.
      5. He disclosed the rough location of the house on the internet.
      6. After Hoge simply posted the photo that BS had posted, BS proceeded to tweet the photo of his house an additional 7 times, along with a video that panned the neighborhood and displayed the number of his house all the while claiming that he was afraid of stalkers.
      7. His car has shown increasing damage, suggesting that the-man-who-cannot-drive-because-of-Stage 5- PD has been, er, “bumping” into things, including the curb, which blew out the two tires on that side. He then waited a day to come up with an idea to benefit in some way, be it getting insurance to cover it, or to use the incident to falsely accuse and defame people who live thousands of miles away.
      8. He started a GoFundMe scam to finance a new computer and video camera, as well as a trip that looks like it was designed solely to finance a mini vacation to the beach on the East Coast.
      9. He rented a Ford Fusion and drove several thousand miles in less than a week, ostensibly to visit a new love interest, a young man who bears a striking resemblance to a late singer.
      10. He submitted a false change of address to the court. I’ll repeat that. HE SUBMITTED A FALSE CHANGE OF ADDRESS TO THE COURT.
      11. Rumor has it that he has abandoned another pair of animals, and has managed to move himself, yet again, over 1000 miles to another state.
      12. BS has been able to drive and get around by himself for years. He admitted to driving even after giving up his license. Nevertheless, while defending himself against his 9 restraining orders, he has repeatedly claimed that he was housebound and unable to travel. Those of you with restraining orders should keep that in mind, and tuck away this brief synopsis in case you need it to get another restraining order.

      • Bill claimed that he couldn’t help his late wife look after the dogs any more, and she got upset:

        “I’ve always been an easy cryer. The other night, I felt weepy when Gail wouldn’t get up to look at fireflies with me but I managed to keep the waterworks turned off for that event.
        But this got the tears flowing….
        I explained that it’s part of the disease process.
        She begged to differ, saying I’ve always been a cryer when we’d argue in the earlier days of our marriage. And that’s true. But now, like I said, there are time when I just want to cry and I have no idea why.”

        What a simpering baby. But he can look after dogs now, and do the laundry, and drive, and take thousand mile road trips, and get a job!

      • 7. His car has shown increasing damage, suggesting that the-man-who-cannot-drive-because-of-Stage 5- PD has been, er, “bumping” into things, including the curb, which blew out the two tires on that side. He then waited a day to come up with an idea to benefit in some way, be it getting insurance to cover it, or to use the incident to falsely accuse and defame people who live thousands of miles away.

        He then consulted with his fellow defendant for day to come up with an idea to blame it on innocent parties, be it getting insurance to cover it, or to use the incident to falsely accuse and defame people who live thousands of miles away.

        FIFY

        • I still want to know what happened to the absolutely 100% medically necessary SCOOTER (it’s Red Vroom Vroom) he conned Medicaid into purchasing for him???? Did it make the trip to Iowa, or did he just leave it at the NinjaNunnery? And what about his other 100% medically necessary “Help, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up” Button he told the Court he requires?

          • Medicaid didn’t buy it.

            The Diminished Capacity Kid made a big show of wanting the scooty-puff (It’s red! Vroom, VROOM!) and noted that it wasn’t going to be subsidized. Then he rambled on about snow, and declared that Gail would have been proud of him impulse control because he decided against spending the twenty-five hundred bucks.

            And then by the end of the week, he bought it, anyway.

            If I were to guess, the ninjanuns are taking turns doing wheelies on it now.

          • He did that with a special PD bed, too. He wasn’t going to buy it, then he spent $3,000 on it. He needed it for his fake PD, you see. He abandoned the bed, along with the dogs, when he fled Maryland.

          • Neal said, “If I were to guess, the ninjanuns are taking turns doing wheelies on it now.”

            If Biwwy sat on it even once I doubt it even functions any more. They probably had to spend extra to get it hauled to the dump. And they were thinking, “Money well spent” since it meant no more dumbf5ck lyin’ around.

  8. You might be able to outrun Hoge’s legal filings, Cabin Boy, but you can’t outrun the stink of your hypocrisy and failure.

    • Outrunning Hoge’s filings won’t help him any. He’s already been served, and acknowledged that fact by filing _extremely_ stupid motions in this case.

      All dodging Hoge now does, is it means Bill does not know what’s in Hoge’s filings or when to respond to them. So… no effect on the case whatsoever?

        • They might consider what happened to Judge Vaughey. After a certain point, the ‘but Maryland’ joke ceases to be funny and starts being an embarrassment to the judiciary.

          • You’d think. At this point I think we say it more in despair than anything else.

            Can we hope and pray that the messes TK are creating will get said judiciary into policing themselves to prevent repeats?

      • You all clearly missed my joke, which was the concept that Bill, having no knowledge of the points of law Hoge is argueing, and no concept of the deadlines imposed by the courts, would be at no disadvantage to a Bill Schmalfeldt who was fully informed of such matters, but was still responsible for writing his own legal briefs.

        TL:DR; DumbF5ck gonna DumbF5ck. Like a jackhammer.

    • “You think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday dont count. But yesterday is all that does count. What else is there? Your life is made out of the days it’s made out of. Nothin else. You might think you could run away and change your name and I dont know what all. Start over. And then one mornin you wake up and look at the ceilin and guess who’s layin there?”
      ― Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men

  9. Our Gentle Host said he mailed it to the address you provided the court. Given that you have a history of filing false documents, how do we know the address on your filing was correct? If it shows a match, now what, you disease faking scoundrel?

  10. Pingback: Rules for Thee but NEVER for Me! | BILLY SEZ – The William M. Schmalfeldt Feltdown Observer

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