Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Cabin Boy™ continues to make a fool of himself.He keeps throwing stuff at the wall, and nothing sticks.

His $465 “vandalism” won’t result in a felony warrant. Criminal mischief causing less than $500 damage is a misdemeanor in Iowa.

Of course, I don’t believe the Cabin Boy™ filed a police report, but if he did, IA Code 718.6 raises some interesting possibilities.

UPDATE—I see from the Comment Section that the Cabin Boy™ has tweeted a selfie that includes a business card from a policeman, and that card appears to have a case number written on it. I suppose that means that the Cabin Boy™ is even more foolish than I thought, and he really did file a police report. (I really need to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt concerning intelligence or wisdom.)


If past is prologue, he’s probably all spun up about seeing the full weight of the law coming down on his enemies. We’ve seen this before.

So not everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. The Cabin Boy™ is exceeding my expectations for stupidity.

I need another cup of coffee.

86 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

    • Just wait until they vandalize Biwwy’s mobile home. You know, the cardboard box behind the 7-Eleven dumpster.

  1. It’s absolutely hilarious that he believe he’s collected a scalp.

    Sorry, faux-shakes, but I really do love watching you dance.

  2. I have it on good authority that the act of vandalism in question was undertaken by the local Cub Scout pack getting payback for one of their own who was on the receiving end of the tender ministrations of King Peeonkiddies.

  3. I often wonder if he buys a new set of police-greeting grey track pants every time he moves to a new state.

  4. Why is he cc’ing in Ferguson and Osborne? Haven’t they been steering clear of all this once there were possible repercussions for being on the Pirate crew?

    Sorry Billy, but you’re now on your own. For Team Kimberlin, the time has come for every midget for himself.

    • Wait — are you suggesting that he, in fact, is the SUBJECT of a police investigation and he’s trying to hide that? That’s as crazy as …as.. well sending a letter to someone and then claiming it’s forged because the signature is too much like your own!

  5. OK, so I’ve lost track. When’s the next court date for Shakes the Clown and his bestest buddy Brett Bomberman?

  6. Soooooo; you are prescient, Mr. Hoge; forwarding papers to the Clinton police anticipating that he would return to his usual habits and try to frame you and/or Grady in a police report. Impressive.

    Then again, copybook headers…

  7. I see that our host has posted a tweet of BS’s from 2013. He used that photo of himself wearing a toupe for a while, oh, about 150 twitter accounts ago.

  8. I guess when the NinjaNuns evict you, you get fired from a part time job, and you get caught lying to the courts again your only option is to lash out with flimsy transparent lies in hopes of distracting your opponent. Brett tries a similar tactic with his court filings. At least the tiny Pedo had the balls to actually respond to the court unlike the mewling cowardly Schmalfeldt that moved halfway across the country to try and hide.

  9. “If Hoge gets clamped into cuffs and thrown in jail for lying under oath, he’ll spin it into a win”

    Two observations:
    1) the tiny pedo, your hero, has shown time and time again that no one goes to jail for perjury in maryland.
    2) the level of projection you just demonstrated makes IMAX look like a 13″ black and white TV by comparison.

  10. “The Cabin Boy™ continues to make a fool of himself.” Okay then, credit given where credit is due. You have to admit he’s doing a helluva a job on this. Tops in the world perhaps.

  11. Assuming that the con artist/grifter was the object of some sort of criminal activity, an investigation is ongoing. Apparently, it hasn’t even been a week, yet Bill Schmalfeldt is on the internet ATTEMPTING TO EXTORT MONEY from a man who had a restraining order against him, and whom he has accused of being Paul Krendler when it suits his purposes.

    • Indeed, Bill continues to claim that Grady is Krendler, even though Bill filed copyright on a book in which He proclaimed HIMSELF to be Krendler.

      we gotta stop saying he can’t be that stupid, he seems to be taking it as a challenge.

  12. Biwwy really thinks that a Lickspittle thinks Biwwy is worth the gas money to drive from IL to Clinton, IA, only to do less than $500 worth of damage in vandalism? The Fail Whale ain’t worth it. I wouldn’t even cross the street to piss on him when his cigarette lights his JWR on fire and starts burning his face off.

    On the other hand, I think this shows that Biwwy *IS* the kind of person who’d spend thousands of dollars to do $400 worth of damage to his “enemies” (i.e., people who have toddlers and are on Twitter) and think that was a worthy investment. Because he’s a dumbf5ck, and that’s what dumbf5cks think.

  13. Did BS damage his own property to set this ploy up? What motion is he planning to file on Monday or Tuesday?

    • It seems a fair chance he broke something through his own stupidity and decided to repurpose the situation as he has done before.

  14. Good lord, I actually read his Twitter feed. I feel like I need a good, old fashioned Silkwood shower now.

    It looks like BS is in his sweaty-palmed happy place because he’s found evidence that Patrick Grady is getting a divorce. Of course, BS is delighted because he must be the cause. After all, if there is one thing that BS is good at, it’s destroying marriages!.

  15. want to report a man poesessing, selling child sex stories and living on a street with small children. …

    Police Chief Chief Kevin Gyrion 563-243-1455
    Special Operation Commander Capt. William Greenwalt 563-243-1455
    Investigations Commander Capt. Thomas Bohle 563-243-1457
    Patrol Operations Commander Capt. Steven Kopp 563-243-1455

  16. Gotta wonder if Shakes bothered to inform the police when he made his “report” that the person he thinks “vandalized” whatever is the same person HE claimed he was.

    I would think that would be pertinent information the cops should have but then I’m not a GS13 investigative journomolist with upteen years of professional reporting experience, IYKWIMAITYD

  17. This is one of those “pictures or it didn’t happen” things. That card with a report number could be anything; Biwwy making a noise complaint, neighbors filing one against him, Biwwy was a witness, anything. If it’s house or car damage, why isn’t he gleefully showing us the glossies with the arrows and the circles?

    • Naw, since even this dimwit knows that police reports are public record that will be available soon, I think he actually made a police report about SOMETHING. I also don’t have any doubt that he implicated both Krendler and Hoge in it. Doesn’t mean that the police are actually taking this seriously in any shape or form.

      • Dumbf5ck can attempt to “implicate” whoever he wants in whatever feeble attempt he’s trying to make to terrorize/extort whomever, the fact of the matter is it isn’t what he may think he KNOWS its what he can actually PROVE.

  18. Let’s consider a few things…..

    1. Our Gracious Host needed to know where to locate Bill so he could serve his with legal papers. Bill, being the mewling pussy that he has been his whole life, decided to make that as difficult as possible. And by difficult I mean he had a cunning plan. First, following his eviction from the Nunnery, he ran to Clinton Iowa. (Side note, you may remember that he ran from Maryland to Nunnery when he was about to be exposed as a perjurer to the court in regards to his pauper filing. Filled with lies it was. The lawyer he sued was about to drop the hammers of hell when Bill hiked p his skirts and ran streaming fear pee. Or maybe he ran because he was also suing his Cousin Roy who accused him of Rape and Bill didn’t want the proof of THAT coming out. Embrace the power of AND. In short, Bill has a habit of running when things get dicey for him in court.) Then he posts a picture of his house on the internet. Then he tells the internet and what few paltry listeners he had at his part time radio job that he lived on 4th street. Our Gracious Host, being an extremely intelligent Quantum Mechanic, did a simple Google street view search and found that exact house one street over from where clever little Biwwy claimed it was. This, in the view of Bill is stalking. Most people consider finding out where a man lives so he can be properly served with legal papers a good thing. Rule of law and all that. Bill? Not a fan of rules apparently.
    2. Bill digs up bankruptcy and divorce records from a year ago on a man who got a restraining order on him and threatens to splash them all over twitter because….because the man hasn’t contacted Bill? Because the man told Bill not to contact him? Because the man has had no internet footprint that I could find for almost a year? Because Bill is full of hate? Because the man is one of the few people that Bill knows real life data for? Because Bill is a giant fucking loon who creates massive problems for himself then always blames this poor guy? Who knows, but once again, Bill is going after a man who has done NOTHING to him. But it’s not stalking. Or harassment. Or anything like that because that fat shithead says so. Oh, and those records? From LAST YEAR! It took Super Genius Schmalfeldt a year to find publicly accessible information. What an intellect!
    3. Bill demands someone pay him for “felony vandalism”. Now, if someone damaged the house or yard, the landlord would be demanding the payment. Since it’s scared little Biwwy it must be something he owns. No breaking and entering charge by Tuff Guy Bill so it had to be outside. What could be easily accessible from outside the house? Did he leave his anatomically correct blow up Cub Scout doll out in the yard as a decoy again? Probably not. Ahah! His car! Did Bill get drunk and hit a tree and is trying to recoup the damages? Did he hit a curb and ruin a tie rod? Did enough of the rust fall off that it’s splitting in half? Did some neighborhood kid write “Fat drunk and stupid are now way to go through life” down the sid? Who knows, but what we do know is that whatever Bill says happened didn’t. Because he lies like most people breath.

    TL/DR: Bill is being Bill and lying about pretty much everything again. Pull up a chair and point and laugh with us won’t you?

    • Fantastic summary but you left out an option: did he hit another car and attempt to cover up a hit and run by concocting this fantasy?

        • OMG – did his driving have something to do with his reported eviction, too? I think someone should look into this to confirm. Maybe Johnny Atsign could do that.
          Or maybe he already has.
          I love ❤️ JA.

      • Fair chance, even high chance, it’s a cover tale. He might want to explain “loss” of equipment that could implicate him.

        • Good point. His gofundme asks for money to buy a new computer. What happened to the new one he bought after he fled Maryland?

          • “My guess would be that it takes about a year of porn site visits for Bill to load up a Mac with enough trojans and whatnot to make it unusable.” <– the kind of stuff he writes would fill up his computer with malware in about 17 seconds.

    • What cracks me up is that Bill thinks others, not demented like he, will do things he might do or fantasize doing. Not a chance. Haha, can you image Mr. Hoge getting the “brilliant” idea to vandalize Bill’s little shack? Who even thinks like that? Oh, right, I forgot about whom we’re talking. This is some funny stuff.

      • I took their facebook site down. I’m a hero
        Facebook sucks, it’s back up
        I took their facebook site down. I’m a hero
        Facebook sucks, it’s back up
        I took their facebook site down. I’m a hero
        Facebook sucks, it’s back up
        I took their facebook site down. I’m a hero
        Facebook sucks, it’s back up
        I took their facebook site down. I’m a hero
        Facebook sucks, it’s back up

        Lather, rinse, repeat

  19. Would a chap receive one of those nice cards if he was registering as a sex-offender with the local constabulary?

    Asking for a friend in Iowa.

  20. Also, I hear that felons who commit insurance fraud often obtain a police report under false pretence in order to bolster a claim.

    I’m sure that doesn’t apply to anyone we know in Clinton, Iowa until recently though.

    • Oh, c’mon, it takes a special kind of idiot to commit insurance fraud — the insurance companies are *way* more interested in preventing it than the government is at preventing disabilities fraud.

  21. 3h
    Fatman Podcast‏ @FatmanPodcast
    WONDERFUL IDEA, Pee Wee! GREAT idea! Make sure every crazy motherfucking ONE of you calls those numbers. THANK you!

    So, officer Guiliani didnt call today, or yesterday, or the…

    Hows the fundraiser going…

  22. Why hasn’t he shown us the “damage”? He couldn’t post pics of his skinned forehead (the one which happened when he went to pet a dog because someone (apparently himself) sent him horse poop the next day) or pics of his house, or any other pic which would involve gross oversharing, soon enough, but the pic “proving!” that someone damaged his property is completely unavailable? Riiiiiggght.

  23. Now Remember Kids!!
    According to Bill-logic, when someone make a public comment about things Bill has tweeted/blogged about publicly, its STALKING!!!11!!
    But when Bill hunts up someone else’s personal information that they have not made public, but is available in a public document, and he then publishes it after a half ass attempt at extortion its NOT STALKING!!!11!!

    William Schmalfeldt, the best example of “Its OK when I do it!!!” outside of Washington D.C.

    • Speaking of D.C.- how about our new Associate Supreme Court Justice? What a great development. With a return to the Framers’ intent for advise and consent, I can’t wait until one of the liberal justices goes nipples north. Seven is a good solid number.

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