83 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. It’s amazing that on March 20, BS was attributing his weight loss and miraculous ability to drive again to diet and exercise on his part. Predictably, as a new court date loomed, he claimed that his weight loss was mysterious and could be a sign of A Dreaded Disease. All this in less than a week!

  2. I hope you warned the Sherrif’s Department about the fear pee.

    I’d like to think there’s some poor deputy right now using Sharpies to draw a “uniform” onto a set of Tyvek coveralls.

    • They are HIS people. They will all have a good laugh at the vexatious litigant in Maryland. Then they will all retire to the parlor to watch Cub Scout Porn and discusses the “sister fucking Trump voters” with Bill. They are HIS people after all. I’m sure all the good people of Clinton Iowa, especially the ones living next to Bill all share his various insanities.

  3. I’m a whole lot more pleased by this than I should be. It’s kind of nice to see that karma really does exist.

  4. From his gofundme: “I’ve decided I would like to create a video tribute to the country I love, the nation I served in the military and as a civil servant.”

    “The country I love.” This is how much he “loves” it:

  5. Pingback: Go Fund My Efforts to Evade Service | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

  6. Ah, the memories. Remember when BS had that kickstarter to raise funds so that he could hire a lawyer and “restore his good name”? What was that one for, $15k or $25?

    You know what’s funny? That BS got a lawyer for free, by creating a fiction about his assets for the court, and the lawyer still kicked him and his case to the curb. Keep in mind that BS got the lawyer only about 8-9 months after he received his $15,000 insurance check, yet he told the court he was a pauper. That’s not counting any money he may have received for his house and trailer.

    • Yeah, I was kinda disappointed that it got dropped so quickly. The plans for eviscerating his IFP were in full bloom and were going to be EPIC. *sigh* Such is life though.

    • It seems like it was only last week when our lulcow explained that his losing weight cured his Parkinson’s. Of course, now that weight loss is being attributed to cancer. Y’know, because irony.

    • When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, the very first thing she did was say, “Honey, let’s make money off this! I’m going to start a gofundme to remodel the kitchen. I’m going to ask for money to install a new flat screen TV in there, plus a Mac Book Pro and a new video camera so that I can record myself cooking the food I love in the country that I love. I won’t be around to use any of it for long, but there’s a sucker born every minute!”

      No, not really, she didn’t say any of that. She told me she loved me and let’s spend as much time together as we could. But my mom wasn’t an obese, malignant narcissist running scams with 9 restraining orders, either.

      • Agreed. When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer it was damned scary. But we caught it early and she beat it with all our support. She’s still cancer free, and we’ve still got her 🙂

  7. “But to suggest that complete strangers but gas, hotels and fast food so that Bill Schmalfeldt can create a diary of the country he loves…
    While evading service in a civil suit…
    Keeping his address secret even from the court…
    Wow.” – Dave Alexander https://ukuleledave.wordpress.com/2017/03/31/go-fund-my-efforts-to-evade-service/

    Kyle also makes the point that BS’s proposed jaunt through the lower 48 is so fast that it doesn’t leave for anything at all. Yet BS is claiming he’s going to try to arrange interviews with “state officials.” I don’t think that the janitor at the state rest stop should count as an official. At any rate, this inability to plan road trips calls into question his claim that he was ever a trucker. On the other hand, it could explain why he couldn’t hold down that job for long, either.

    • You have to admit that a video showing authentic travels through our great nation would only be enhanced by officials from each and every state very seriously and earnestly addressing the camera, “I only have two things to say to you. 1, how the hell did you get in here and 2 if you aren’t clear of the border by sunset I will order the highway patrol to shoot you on sight”.
      I know I’d buy a copy.

    • The main reason he couldn’t be a trucker [at least according to the many truckers I’ve known] is “That boy ain’t quite right in the head.” If you can sit at the trucker tables in a gas stop cafe [and I could, way back in the day], that pronouncement indicated a very short haul as a trucker.

    • He’s got a two day leg taking him over 1300 miles from Olympia, WA to Bismarck, ND.

      1350 miles in two days. Alone. With Fakinson’s. And cancer. But traveling to Maryland for a hearing will kiiiiiiiiiiilllllll meeeeeeeeeeeee!

      • I pity anyone else on the road with him. I can only assume that he’s planning on spending some of that $200 a day for food and lodging on Red Bull or Monster.

        Last spring I drove my kid 300 and a bit miles to visit my sister. It took me two days to recover enough to drive home. Now I admit to being older with some ortho issues, but still. Back in the day I used to drive 500 miles each way to visit the fiancé, leaving on Friday, returning on Sunday, and it wasn’t something I could do even then more than twice a month.

        When I was a kid we used to drive the 600 miles from Ann Arbor to Teaneck in one day, which involved getting on the road as soon after 6am as possible, stopping as little as possible (my father would haved loved being able to put us kids in stasis so we wouldn’t have wanted food or restrooms) and even with two drivers in their 30s we often didn’t get to our destination until near midnight.

        I’m a few years younger than Blob, with no degenerative diseases (discs, yes, diseases, no) and there is no way I’d be able to keep to the schedule he’s got planned for himself, probably not even if I had another driver with me.

          • I could always ask my husband’s nephew, the professional trucker, if it’s possible (never mind legal) to keep up that sort of pace as a solo driver.

            I’m not going to place or take any bets on what his answer would be. 🙂

          • When I was about 40 I drove straight thru from near Quad Cities IL/IA to Monck’s Corner, SC, about 900 miles, about 3/4 of it Interstate, in just over 18 hours total. That’s counting pit stops, getting gas, food, etc. I wouldn’t want to attempt that today. I do drive about 4.5 hours and 215 miles to my cabin, but I then stay a few days.

            Averaging 50 mph over very long distances as a single driver is harder than most realize.

  8. As is usual in this sort of case, I’d hope any and all who might be suckered into sending him money would Google his name first.

  9. I noticed a tweet of his last night that said, to the effect, that he knows half the people at the local Sheriffs office and they were going to sit around laughing about the vexatious redneck from MD.

    Does freindship mean they don’t have to serve him? I’m confused how that’s supposed to help him.

    • He says he “knows” them, not that they’re friends.
      HIC! I’ll bet he knows them!
      And the term was “hillbilly.” More proof of the deep love for his country beating in his cold heart.

      • Bill does realize that he–that is Bill Schmalfeldt–is who will be paying those $$$$ when it is all said and done.

      • I guess he figures stating on Twitter that he knows about the hearing somehow absolves him of HIS responsibility to notify the court of his change of address.

        I dont think the judge will see it that way but IANAL.

      • I do hope that Mr. Hoge was able to print out a copy of that tweet and include it in the envelope before sending.

    • Yeah he’s a loser to bother formally serving a quarter ton idiot who leap at the chance to wail “I wasn’t served!!!” in order to try and get out of a hearing.

  10. Good grief, he’s going on about “weenie juice” again. The man is absolutely obsessed with male genitalia, male sex acts, and all things poop.

    • I learned early in life that the way to get people to talk to me was to (1) call them names, (2) make veiled homophobic comments, (3) demean them publicly, (4) write Cub Scout rape “parodies” and then refer to people who had to get a restraining order against me as “little boys.”

      Nah, fooled you again! My mama didn’t raise a moron and a pervert!

      • apparently Bill thinks the best way to get someone to talk to him is to yell, impotently, at a completely different person than the one he claims he’s trying to contact….

  11. I know what I’d do if I had terminal cancer. Unlimber the old grudges database and clean some accounts.
    I might even raise funds on GoFundMe and make a video out of it.

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