Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Cell phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good afternoon, Johnny. Whatcha doin’?

JOHNNY: Hi. I’m not doing anything.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Nothing?

JOHNNY: Well, I’m drinking a cup of coffee, but otherwise, I’m taking a day off.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) You may want to take a look at The Grouch’s Twitter feed.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during the Say Cheese Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch You’re awfully shy for someone who tries to be a public person.

JOHNNY: I finished my coffee, opened up my laptop, and took a look at Twitter. The Grouch was having one of his usual meltdowns, and this one include a reference to me.

THE GROUCH TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Mighty fine stalking there! I’m honored to be so important to you! Have my address yet? Want it? Just ask politely. #dimwit

JOHNNY: That tweet included a cartoon posted by La Cucaracha that showed a house The Grouch claimed he was renting.

THE GROUCH TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) I recall people staggering for the fainting couch when I posted pictures of peoples’ houses. OK if you do it, though. Right?

THE GROUCH TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Programming Announcement: Johnny is off taking another set of intriguing pictures today, so we won’t be presenting an episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign this evening. Pictures like this?

THE GROUCH TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Or these? (Notice the tiny battering ram in my alleged front yard…)

JOHNNY: The Grouch seemed to be concerned that folks might know where he lived.

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JOHNNY: I had a good laugh and then went back to my day off. But the next day, it was back to work.

SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

ZOMBIE: (TELEPHONE FILTER) Johnny, it’s Paul Candler. Were you able to get those pictures for me?

JOHNNY: Yep. And I took them on old fashioned film like you requested. I finished with them in the dark room this morning. It’s getting to be a pain finding the chemicals to process Ektachrome. I’ll be glad when Kodak reintroduces it later this year.

ZOMBIE: (TELEPHONE FILTER) Uh, huh. I know it was an odd request, but I have my reasons.

JOHNNY: And I’m not going to ask.

ZOMBIE: (TELEPHONE FILTER) Good. In any case, I hope you managed to enjoy the trip.

JOHNNY: I did. Say, did you see that meltdown on The Grouch’s Twitter feed? It looks like he thinks I was photographing him.

ZOMBIE: (TELEPHONE FILTER) Let him. It will distract everyone. When will you send the slides?

JOHNNY: Everything should be ready late today, so I’ll probably send them in tomorrow’s mail.

ZOMBIE: (TELEPHONE FILTER) Great! Make sure you keep digital copies of the slides.

JOHNNY: Will do? I’ll send you an email after I drop the package off at the Post Office.

ZOMBIE: (TELEPHONE FILTER) OK. Goodbye.

JOHNNY: Goodbye.

SOUND: Telephone receiver hung up.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Do you ever get tired of trolling yourself?

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? There’s trouble … right here in River City. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

22 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

    • You notice he’s actively pursuing individuals to target and harass our Gentle Host.

      This will not end well. Not a very smart move, Cabin Boy.

      • The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt is also engaging with individuals with their very own reputations for abusing folks online. Not to mention… the very same individuals (much like the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt) very much like to take their internet butthurt and garbage and use it to justify their threats, harassment, and abuse of folks in real life.

        Oh. And, they’re big fans of lawfare, too. #evil

        • Further… BS is interacting with folks who have a history of attacking any-and-every “Owain Penllyn” – believing that pseudonym is always the same individual.

          The person they relentlessly attribute to that “Owain” moniker is one of the Domestic Terrorist Brett “The Speedway Bomber” Kimberlin’s first victims – AND, is a victim of BS and his cyberstalking and cyberharassment.

          BS is one dumb, dumb, dancing monkey.

          Curious how both NastyBitch1 and NastyBitch1’s sidekick always tend to be in the Mix… for going on years now. 🤔

  1. The posting of photos, Twitter taunts, etc., are all part of BS latest plan to play the victim in court. He does all of this so that he can falsely claim “stalking,” yet again.

  2. Poor Grouch. So stupid he can’t even remember posting pictures of his own house. As opposed to him posting pictures of other people’s that they HAD NOT made public. What a maroon. I can’t wait to see how this season ends.

  3. Ektachrome, tried push processing a couple of rolls many years ago, the baths are so temperature sensitive I never did it again. But push processing Tri-X was a piece of cake if I wanted fast action or low light B&W photos. Was taught film and print developing in high school chemistry class. Maybe I should buy some new Ektachrome and dust off the the old SLR.

  4. You know, when I first learned of BS and came here, years ago, I thought he was faking the incredible stupidity. Now of course I know it’s real, but OMG the staggering completeness of it!!! He should be an exhibit somewhere.

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