Go Ahead. Make My Day.

I have noted that the Cabin Boy™ now seems to be able to do things he claimed he could not a few years ago, but I don’t recall every publicly expressing a belief concerning what maladies he actually suffers from. I do recall relying on his statement to Judge Grimm that he has Parkinson’s disease and is experiencing the onset of dementia.
The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt seems to be confusing the comments of others with things I have actually written and said. While he does no longer appear to be wheelchair bound, it may be that his mental faculties are in further decline.

If he persists in his current course, I believe that things will not go well for him.

99 thoughts on “Go Ahead. Make My Day.

  1. Hey! Is this the book where he says he had to give up driving permanently because of his PD? I have to double check.
    It was so thouhtful of him to post photos of his car and confirm that he is driving. Again.

    Question: does that SUV come with a human caregiver and life alert?

  2. Oooh, Chief Justice Schmalfeldt returns!

    Lock up your $5/hour lawyers AVVO, LOLSuit VIII is on the march!

  3. He still operates under the delusion that his latest butthurt will be salved at the next hearing, so the dementia is believable. Or perhaps he just a special kind of stupid.

  4. Well, he admits he libeled Hoge, that he has a car, that he broadcasts his personal information and then accuses others of illegal acts, and that he thinks Johnny Atsign is real. Tsk tsk. Any more admissions?

    • So all those times he told our host to “ask him” about his new address, he wasn’t actually going to hand it over?

      I’m shocked. This is my shocked face.

    • If I recall correctly, the one individual who may be in possession of Schmalfeldt’s SSN got it on a military document which was not fully redacted. As folks questioned the military record of Mr. Schmalfeldt, a form was delivered to someone with the number. Why did they investigate? Because Schmalfeldt bragged about incidents which others questioned, and seemed to be wearing unearned military ribbons.
      Schmalfeldt is not the only one using easily obtained public documents.

  5. Mr. Hoge is correct. I have watched this blog, and read others where Hoge comments. He has NOT accused Schmalfeldt of faking Parkinson’s. The people who HAVE done so have noticed Schmalfeldt’s renewed vigor, driving ability and increased ability to hold down a job. Going from enfeebled to employed usually requires being cured.

    Of course, if this becomes a factor in some future legal dispute, someone might need to examine medical records. Maybe this is a sleeping dog which should just be left to lie.

    • Remember when he wasn’t even capable of taking a phone call from the attorney of someone he was suing because his voice wasn’t strong enough? And now he’s a professional broadcaster? LOLOL!

    • Exactly. I was one who believed he had PD, and I stated so publicly. As he knows full well, having authored books and blogs on PD, having given public presentations on PD, it soes not go into remission.

      • And, I was in the camp that Bill Schmalfeldt was among the 20%, or so, of people of alleged PD sufferers who are misdiagnosed. Given his apparent “recovery,” the conditional probability he is one of those 20% is now quite high.

        • Fat Boy probably spent his time at NIH researching debilitating diseases with no objective diagnosis so no tests to fake and PD is still diagnosed by observation only per WebMD, Mayo Clinic, and the Parkinson Foundation.

          100% chance IMO Teh Blob self-diagnosed and claimed it as a disability as long as it was convenient.

  6. BS is setting up his victim routine. He was making noises about moving long before he posted photos of his own car on his own blog, TMZ. He previously admitted that he is Paul Krendler, & that he sent himself the Slovenian horse poop.

    • You know, he could (inadvertently) start a hobby collecting horse poop from different places. I’m pretty sure I can arrange donations from a few countries from here. I bet we can get all 50 states, plus at least as many countries if we really tried.

  7. He does know the next hearing is tomorrow at 10 AM, Right? Oh that’s right he doesn’t get any mail forwarded any more….. Hahahahah

  8. He has been publicly posting the most intimate details of his life for years, including photos of his partially-dressed wife and of himself on the toilet. He tweeted a photo of the house he planned to rent in Iowa. BS loves being in the public eye.

  9. I should have posted this comment here instead of on the Prevarication Du Jour post so I hope our Gracious Host doesn’t mind me duplicating it and wasting some pixels…..

    Let’s see if we can suss out why anyone would think Broadway Bill Schmalfeldt of KMCN 94.7 MAC in Clinton Iowa would fake Parkinson’s Disease. He claimed to be in Stage 4 and often claimed that the stress of suing people for his butthurt was actively making him die sooner.

    “There is no cure for Parkinson’s or any way to halt it’s progression. Stage four: This stage of the disease is accompanied by severe symptoms of Parkinson’s. Walking may still occur, but it is often limited, and rigidity and bradykinesia — a slowing of movement — are often visible. During this stage, most patients are unable to complete day-to-day tasks, and usually cannot live on their own. The tremors or shakiness of the earlier stages of the disease, however, may lessen or become non-existent for unknown reasons during this time.”

    1. Claimed the progression of his disease prevented him from taking care of himself. He also claimed he could no longer walk and was permanently confined to a wheelchair. Hence his wife did the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, she ran to the post office to mail his myriad of failed lawsuits, cleaned up his piss, his diapers, etc. all while he knew she was dying of her own progressive disease.
    1A. After the death of his wife, Bill discovers the joys of living on his own, going for long walks alone, doing his own cooking and cleaning, and was surprised to find that his piss didn’t mop itself up.

    2. Claimed the progression of his disease prevented him from working. As a matter of fact, he wrote extensively about how the NIH was FORCED to give him a bad review so they could retire him on medical disability. His disease was so bad that he was forced to retire from a work at home job.
    2A. Since he was too ill to maintain a job as a writer at the NIH, Bill took a series of jobs as a writer for various websites. He was fired or asked to stop contributing from most of them mainly due to his extremely poor interpersonal skill in interacting with anyone who disagreed with him. His favorite tactic was to use personal insults instead of facts and logic to defend his position. Nevertheless, he proved through the years that he was capable of working as a writer but instead chose to live off the taxpayer.

    3. Claimed he had to give up his drivers license because he was too dangerous behind the wheel due to his advanced Parkinson’s Disease.
    3A. Obtained a new drivers license and bought a car.

    4. Claimed to the court that it would be extremely detrimental to his health and dangerous to force him to leave the nunnery to travel to MD for his court hearings. He claimed to have a magic button that summed medical assistance and without it in range of the nunnery he would be exposed to huge medical risks.
    4A. Took the train to Chicago to meet with his welfare lawyer. Moved to Clinton Iowa. All without his magic button and he is, apparently, not dead yet.

    This is by no means and exhaustive list of all the things Bill has said about having Parkinson’s that somehow no longer apply to him. Parkinson’s is a progressive disease. It NEVER gets better. Bill has banged that drum loud and long. But somehow, just for him, it HAS gotten better. The things that prevented him from working are now gone. The things that prevented him from driving are now gone. The things that required him to have a full time caregiver and now gone. And that folks, is why some people doubt the veracity of the claims made by Bill “I want to pee on your children” Schmalfeldt of Clinton Iowa.

  10. Dumbass is too stupid to remember when he tried to curse me when I stated my belief that he’s faking PD. Me and others, not WJJH.
    And the Schmalrus is desperate to link his PD fiasco to the WJJH period and away from the “let’s get SS disability” period.

    • And it doesn’t matter anyway, because
      A) the time for filing counterclaims has long since tolled;
      B) if he ever wants to file another FEDRUHL CRAHMS!! LOLsuit he’s going to have to travel to do it (and he knows it); and
      C) he will lose anyway (naturally he woulda kicked ass and took names, houses, cars, wives & whatnot except HYPERTECHNICALITIES!).

      So, no worries. He’ll just live out his days under the porch, shivering and soaked in fear pee, waiting for the phantom stalkers who will never come.

    • Maybe the next one will be live on the air heard by all five or six listeners.

      A pro tip for his unfortunate colleagues at the station: if you see any strawberries in the fridge, don’t touch them!

  11. I don’t see how it makes any sense to claim that one can improve upon perfection. Since Bill Schmalfeldt is perfectly demented, I don’t see how anyone can claim that he is becoming more perfectly demented each day.

    Nor, does Bill Schmalfeldt have much of a case in any circumstance. A number of times he has faked the extent of his underlying physical illness [Freud who have to double-shift him for decades to figure out why he gets his jollies terrorizing random women who happen to have the initials PEM and were born in 1954, etc.] In fact, he has even claimed that mere writing down of how much of an asshole he is has so exacerbated his underlying illness, whatever it is, that he going to die even more prematurely as a result. A lawyer might even suggest that was a false accusation of manslaughter, which could be grounds for a defamation per se claim.

    • Ah, remember the good old days when he couldn’t speak because of PD, yet he was able to use a voice to text translator because he wasn’t able to type because of PD?

        • Isn’t it nice to know that since he’s all self-reliant and shit now in the Hawkeye State, that whole episode was self-inflicted for the sake of making himself look…”sympathetic” isn’t the right word…maybe just “pathetic?”

          • Sympathetic may be the right word if it is spelled “sim-pathetic” because what he was really trying to do was simulate patheticness and thereby elicit sim-pathy for poor helpless little him who were being oppressed by all the evil nasty brutish people of the intertubes.

  12. He never really did show pictures of his dead or dying mother. He taunted that he would. I use that weird description because what he did was a kind of reverse threat. He demand/requested as to whether I and others wanted a picture of his dead mother in an effort to make it look like anyone other than himself was being ghoulish. All he ever had was a picture of his mother from her obituary.
    My belief was that he never even went to her bedside or her funeral just said he did because he was due for a court hearing he was sure to lose and wanted an excuse to dodge it. She was dying and was therefore a convenient excuse to throw about. Most mention or interaction with the concept of mother we ever saw out of him.

    • And, of course, he repeated the act saying that he would HAPPILY send pictures of his dead wife to make sure we believed him.

      I mean, really. Who does that? A ghoul does. Ew.

    • Feh.

      The Fatman bomb dropped​ by the Enola Gay was total weaksauce as nukes go.

      I think Mr. Hoge is prepping the B-83 (known in some circles as the “Crowdpleaser”).

      Makes the Fatman look like a firecracker.

      • Oh no not our gracious host. I was referring to an audio clip on YouTube of Mr. Fakinsons talking tough before packing more sand in and hiding under the porch.

  13. Mac 94.7 is sponsoring his content on. the internet? good to know, they have some deeper pockets for my potential lawsuit

  14. Looks like Schmalrus is a little testy about his wife and Mom, or he’s trying to draw attention away from his own lousy self.
    Interesting that he claims he never posted pictures of his dead or dying mother. Its like he’s still trying to twist the claim like he originally did. I explicitly said he never did. I did state that he demanded that I wanted to have some pictures which I never did. Wonder why he’s still so much spun up about this. Couldn’t be that the claim of not going to her bedside was too accurate could it? His tale of that journey was always a little too pat and inconsistent and serves as yet another demonstration of just how variable that darn PD is. Just after being so infirm with his “PD StageXXXIV” and wetting his porch for the deputies he jaunts out to Wisconsin in record time, arrives just in time for Mom to pass on photogenically (I guess, he’s the one talking about pictures), neat little burial, lunch with Sis and then nip on back to Maryland. Funny note, he flew out there and took the train back, first class too. Most people I know kinda go the same way they came and first class seems pricey, and taking the train seems awfully slow for how neat an quick he got back, just in time to miss the hearing too. how queer.

  15. BS is rehearsing the song and dance routine he’s going to try to sell to the judge. He publishes it, waits for us to shoot his latest fable full of holes, and adjusts accordingly. Don’t help him out, folks.

    I will take one moment to point out that the private detective I referred to is named Johnny Atsign. Check out his investigation at this link, which is where I get all my FICTIONAL information from:

    • I have to wonder why even the thought of a fictional private investigator has sent him into such a tizzy. Yes, very curious.

    • I honestly can’t wait for Bill to pound the table and demand the judge make WJJH tell him the private investigator details. And all John will be able to say is, “Well, you see I write a fictionalized dramatization in the style of old film noir mysteries of the crazy things that happen with this crew and Bill, here, takes anonymous website poster comments referencing those dramatizations as truth.”

      It’ll be spectacular to see!

      • I also heard that the PI works out of Chicago. His real name is Harry Dresden. One of his code names is The Winter Knight.

      • I would guess that the character in question is a composite of a number of people who are doing things like google searches, viewing public records, and archiving web postings. I would assume that one of the real world people that is part of that composite is Bill Schmalfeldt himself. He have given the folks here more hints, references and even links to incriminating documents than the most competent private investigator could possibly find. Bill Schmalfeldt is a walking admission against interest.

        • It’s an homage to “Your’s Truly, Johnny Dollar”, a radio series about an insurance adjuster/PI. The frame was the re-telling was Johnny making out his expense account to the company that hired him.

          Good stuff, ranging from light comedy to high drama. If you can catch one of the five-part stories starring Bob Bailey, you won’t regret it.

          • Which fits in with the other old time radio parodies our esteemed host does, like ‘Gunsmoke’ and ‘Dragnet.’

            Do yourselves a favor and check out the ‘YTJD’ and ‘Dragnet’ at the internet archive and other OTR sites. They’re a terrific listen.

  16. I have to say that he “gave” the world his last address when he sued about a dozen people – what was it, three times? – and published the complaint on the internet. Did he forget that? How about publishing his Elkridge address and asking people to come and get him, but to avoid his wife?

    His safety is not at risk and it never has been because…. well, I won’t educate the serial fabulist.

    • Of course he forgets that. He put his address in a publically accessible federal database. MULTIPLE TIMES!

      If anyone is guilty of publishing his own address, it’s Bill Schmalfeldt.

      • And guess what? NOTHING HAPPENED, other than he sent himself horse poop and publicly blamed others for that until he finally fessed up. Nobody bothered him. He, on the other hand, has had at least 9 restraining orders issued against him. As one of his victims, you are well aware of that.

  17. Just because he managed to convince a doctor doesn’t mean he has the disease. For all we know, he looked up some symptoms in a book, discovered it matched Parkinson’s, shopped around for a doctor to agree, and managed to get into an experimental program.

    All we have are stories he has written. We know he is a willful liar and has been caught repeatedly. We know he forged documents. We know he has intimidated and threatened innocent people and denied the same. We know he has tried to publish work not his own. We

    I’ll say it again: Bill is a liar. Bill DOES NOT have Parkinson’s Disease.

  18. Pingback: Bill Schmalfeldt is Afraid of John Hoge Knowing His New Address | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

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