ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!


ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.


MINISTER: (Fading up) … and grant that she whose body is buried here may dwell with Christ in paradise, and may come to your heavenly kingdom; through your Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

CROWD: Amen!

SOUND: Crowd dispersing into quiet rural background noise. Light wind in trees.

JOHN: Thank you.

MINISTER: You’re welcome. She was my friend. I’ll miss her, but not like you will.

JOHN: Yeah.

MINISTER: I’ve never been to your family cemetery before. Not many families have one these days.

JOHN: Well, the first one down here filled up a bit over a hundred years ago, so they opened up this one.

MINISTER: It’s certainly a nice spot. How many generations are here?

JOHN: Let’s see. There’re my parents and my father’s parents. Over there is my great grandfather. His mother and father are in the old cemetery, but one of his uncles in right over there. Of course, the really old family plot is up in the Shenandoah Valley. My great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather who came from Scotland in 1680 is buried in the cemetery of a church he gave the land for in the 1720s.

MINISTER: So how are you doing?

JOHN: Hmmm. Things were quick but not unexpected. Numb. Yeah, still a bit numb. And lonely.

MINISTER: Uh, huh.

JOHN: She was …

COUSIN 1: She was wonderful. We all miss her.

JOHN: Thanks.

COUSIN 1: A group of the cousins are going to get together for supper. Will you join us?

JOHN: Yeah. Sure. The usual place?

COUSIN 2: Yes. Do you want one of us to drive you over?

JOHN: No. Will drove his car. I’ll ride with him.

SOUND: Rural background out.


ANNOUNCER: Here in Westminster, we’re having those cool winter evenings when it’s nice to sit by the fire and sip some hot tea. I’ve been sipping mine from my Team Lickspittle tea tumbler. It keeps my tea hot this winter and will keep it cool next summer. It’s just one of the goodies exclusively available for you to spend your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, and spend some cash to support Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.


JOHN: Mrs. Hoge was a wonderful lady. I miss her, and I miss the support she gave me in everthing, including my blogging. Life has been lonely without her. It always seemed that The Grouch, and The Bomber, and their buddies sensed her support for me, and that caused them to engage in vile and insulting attacks against her, attacks that I have only rarely shared publicly. They have continued after her death.


COMMENT 2: Ever do her [redacted]? [redacted]

COMMENT 3: Join your wife, Hoggy. [redacted] Put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. [redacted] Be with her.

COMMENT 4: HAHAHAHA [redacted]’s a corpse. Happy zombie xmas, Hoggy!!! [redacted] roasting on a cremation fire…. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JOHN: Those are some of the least offensive comments sent to my blog since she died. I suppose they’re a reflection of the desperation the bad guys must be feeling as their lawfare fails.

I also suppose they think they’re hurting me with their repulsive comments. If that’s the case, they’re failing miserably. I firmly believe that because of her faith in Christ Mrs. Hoge’s eternal fate is both blessed and secure. There is nothing that those cyberthugs can do to harm her or affect the loving memories of her. I’ll let the fools rage and condemn themselves.


ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Even with a good imagination, we can’t come up with stories as strange as The Bomber and his buddies provide for episodes of “BLOGSMOKE”!


ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign,” and join us again every Friday at 6 for alternating episodes “BLOGSMOKE” and “Blognet.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

45 thoughts on “Blogsmoke

  1. It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation,
    always and everywhere to give you thanks,
    Lord, holy Father, almighty and eternal God,
    through Christ our Lord.

    In him the hope of blessed resurrection has dawned,
    that those saddened by the certainty of dying,
    might be consoled by the promise of immortality to come.

    Indeed for your faithful, Lord,
    life is changed not ended,
    and, when this earthly dwelling turns to dust,
    an eternal dwelling is made ready for them in heaven.

    (Preface I for the Dead, Roman Missal)

  2. JOHN: Those are some of the least offensive comments sent to my blog since she died. I suppose they’re a reflection of the desperation the bad guys must be feeling as their lawfare fails.

    I also suppose they think they’re hurting me with their repulsive comments. If that’s the case, they’re failing miserably. I firmly believe that because of her faith in Christ Mrs. Hoge’s eternal fate is both blessed and secure. There is nothing that those cyberthugs can do to harm her or affect the loving memories of her. I’ll let the fools rage and condemn themselves.

    They always attack their own weak spots, because they think their weak spots are everyone’s weak spots.

    They give away so much.

    • Bingo. While there’s a LOT that I disagree with Vox Day about, especially his focus on racialism (which is going to lead to Very Bad Things eventually), he nailed it in this one:

      The guy who attacked Vox saying “Stop acting like you’ve read more than ten books”? He’s insecure about how few books he’s actually read, and he’s projecting those insecurities onto Vox Day — who, even his worst enemies would admit (if they were honest), is extremely well-read.

  3. Their words and deeds reveal far more about themselves or the late Connie Hoge.

    There’s a Yamamoto quote that comes to mind.

    You have my sympathy, and my respect.

    • No ones happy that Gail passed away. Connie and the Hoge family are in our hearts and prayers

      Enjoy your new basement

    • As Mr. Hoge said,

      I’ll let the fools rage and condemn themselves.

      He showed up right on cue, didn’t he?

      • Well, there is reason to believe it was done by a guy who later claimed copyright on all your works, so there’s that.

        As penance, I suggest a good Scotch to wash the taste out of your mouth. If I knew who you were, I’d be happy to provide it.

        By the way, I find I am drinking less coffee these days. I brew with a number 6 cone directly into a thermos, I have found that simply using less coffee, and less water, means I do not have to run out and purchase a smaller coffee making system. A useful tip, for any who may be drinking less coffee than they used to. Plus, the less-full cones are easier to remove later, without making a mess. Which my wife would have to clean up, for those of us who are drinking less coffee because we’re just drinking less coffee…

    • The torment — like Bill immediately jumping on Twitter and into comments to offer people pictures of her corpse?

    • What I’ll never forget is what a piece of shit Blob was during and after the passing of his captive nurse. She went to a far better place than the one she’d been in with, you know, the faux cripple malingering dirtbag.

  4. What bitter, empty lives they lead. As HZIC notes, they project their life’s failures on an hourly basis.

  5. At 7:53:56 pm ET this evening, a commenter logged in, and he began leaving these comment at 7:57 pm.

    His use of a proxy server did not prevent me from determining … oh, why educate him.

  6. I’ll remind the walking psych pathology known as BS of a few things:

    1. John never said anything about BS’s wife, ever, either before or after she passed away.
    2. When you have a restraining order against someone, you don’t contact them just to “make nice.”
    3. No one who is not anonymous ever said anything against BS’s wife after she died, and even then, those were only a few people.
    4. Some of us actually prayed for her. I had a mass said for the repose of her soul last July, and I will have one said for Connie. BS, alleged Catholic, couldn’t be bothered to do the same.

    BS is lying because he loves to play the victim and martyr to earn brownie points. He forgets that he left literally over 10 years worth of commentary on the internet, much of it saved, detailing how he made his wife do everything because he was “dying” or “wheelchair-bound”: taking out the dogs, feeding the dogs, cleaning up the dogs’ poop, running the errands, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring him all over town. He forgets that he has written and bragged about giving lectures on PD, and the fact that it is a PROGRESSIVE neurological disorder that doesn’t go into remission or get better. He forgets that the excuses he gave to go on disability – when he was working full time from home – were that he could not do his job due to PD dementia, fatigue, losing his voice, etc. He forgets that he publicly posted that they no longer had a sex life because of his PD.

    Some of us, like me, believed he had PD despite his constant stream of lies.

    Until Gail passed away.

    Suddenly, now that his maid, chauffeur, dog wrangler and caregiver was gone, he could travel 900 miles to Wisconsin. He could do his own laundry, and even clean the bathroom on occasion. He could cook. He bought a mobility scooter that he admitted he did not need. Then, he started dating, claiming that he had completed college, was 6′ tall, and had no children, all of which are lies. He was able to travel to meet with a welfare lawyer. Surprisingly, The Man Who Could No Longer Drive bought a car and got a driver’s license. He claims he has obtained employment, and moved to a new state.

    People who really have PD don’t have these miraculous reversals of their disease. It leaves one to ponder what kind of man snookers his spouse that way for 15 years. Certainly not John Hoge.

    • You seem interested in facts, and proportional response. I would remind you, this all started when Our Gentle Host referred to the Mound of the Hound of the Kimberlins as “Some Bozo.”

      Over time, his reputation has changed from “Some Bozo” to “That Bozo” to “DumbFuck” to “DumbF5ck” (thanks, whoever coined that one, the bandwidth saved in jackhammer GIFs could probably power a small town!) to, “He went full Schmalfeldt. You never go full Schmalfeldt.” (Sorry, Roy.)

      As I’ve asked Brett before, “How’s that brass knuckle reputation management working out for you?”

  7. Hey, has everybody noticed what happens when you click the link to from DUMBFUCK’S Twitter page?

    Don’t worry, it’s safe. It’s also the same thing you get if you go to

    Be sure and read the URL.

  8. Before gail was sick.

    Someone tormented a widow with 2vsmall children, then tormented a grieving mother. Further tornented a victim of a brutal rape. Oh and he tried to raise money off of all 3 with audio recordings

    Gail died becaue what, the magic rolodex of life didnt exist?

    • No, even if you dislike our President, at worst he is hailing a cad.

      I admit to being pleasantly surprised at our President’s actions so far. But even if that were not so, Well Done, Lee. Well Done.

  9. BS is raging with jealousy, once again.

    Mr. Hoge, you remain a class act and a great example to those who admire and respect you.

    God bless you! 🙏🏼

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