ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Skype rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, where are you?
JOHNNY: I’m in my office.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Come on over to Studio A. You’re late.
JOHNNY: I’ll be right there!
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
SOUND: Footsteps in hall.
JOHNNY DMS: (SYNTH VOICE) @Rule5Girl It was Friday, December 16th. It was 6:01 pm when I entered Studio A. The LBS Christmas Party.
SOUND: Door opens. Christmas music up in background. Muted conversations in background. Footsteps out.
CHIEF WRITER: Merry Christmas, Johnny!
JOHNNY: Merry Christmas! I see you gave me Joe’s lines again this year.
FRIDAY: It’s not even our week. BLOGSMOKE was supposed to run today.
CHIEF WRITER: Yeah, the schedule’s pretty jumbled for the rest of the month.
SMITH: Can I get you something, Johnny?
JOHNNY: The usual. It looks like the whole crowd made it this year.
SHERIFF: That’s about the size of it.
FRIDAY: Isn’t that one of my lines?
JOHNNY: Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year!
SHERIFF: Yeah, I hope 2017 will be better than 2016.
FRIDAY: Uh, huh. There were a couple of setbacks, but 2016 hasn’t been a complete loss.
SHERIFF: I suppose. We won the second RICO case and the both the RICO Retread cases. And I’m a Cubs fan.
SMITH: Here’s your drink, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Mmmm. Thanks.
SMITH: So how’s everyone doing on getting ready for Christmas?
BRAIN: I’ve still got most of my shopping to do. I’m not sure how I’ll get everything delivered around the country on time. Anyone got any ideas?
PINKY: I think so, Brain … Free two-day shipping available from Amazon if you’ve got Amazon Prime.
ANNOUNCER: That’s right, Pinky. And if someone doesn’t have Amazon Prime, they can sign up for a free 30-day trial. All they have to do is click on the Amazon link on the Home page, type “Amazon Prime Free Trial” in the search box at Amazon, and follow the instructions. Stocking stuffers are still available at The Hogewash Store, and we also appreciate support via the Tip Jar.
RULE 5 GIRL: Merry Christmas, Johnny!
JOHNNY: Merry Christmas! I’m glad you could make it again this year.
RULE 5 GIRL: Me too. It’s good to see the crew again. And you.
SMITH: And it’s good to have an episode for all of us to just kick back and unwind.
JOHNNY: Merry Christmas, everybody!
SOUND: Background out except for Christmas music.
MUSIC: Christmas music up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next time? One year ends, another begins, and it’s back to work. Join us, won’t you?
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell Christmas music and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.
Normal programming will continue next week, but the LBS Team will be taking the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve off, but we’ll be back on the first Monday of the New Year with another episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign. Blogsmoke and Blognet will return on alternate Fridays beginning later that week. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.