Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Mr. Atsign.


DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) I have some more information for you. Meet me at the usual place and time.

SOUND: (Called Party’s POV) Line hung up. Dial tone.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Pyrrhic Victory Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @DeepVote You aren’t Hal Holbrook, are you?

JOHNNY: At 12:15 am, precisely, the next morning, I drove into the designated parking garage, parked on the second level, and took the stairs up to the fourth level. I began walking to the far end.

SOUND: Footsteps with echo.

JOHNNY: As usual, the voice came from behind me.

DEEP VOTE: Good morning, Mr. Atsign.

SOUND: Footsteps stop.

JOHNNY: I turned around, and he was standing in the shadows like always.

DEEP VOTE: The Bomber had a busy week last week.

JOHNNY: Yes, with mixed results. His PR flack is acting as if he got off scot-free.

DEEP VOTE: You don’t think he did, do you?

JOHNNY: Oh, he’s beaten the wrap, but it’s probably cost him more that his win was worth.

DEEP VOTE: Just so. Being found to be a liar can’t help him, but he’s also wound up with a great number of facts placed in the trial record. That’s good for you.

JOHNNY: Oh, yes. Leads. There are some excellent leads to follow up for my other clients.

DEEP VOTE: Uh, huh. For example, [redacted].

JOHNNY: There’s that, and also how it interacts with the counts against the other defendants in that case.

DEEP VOTE: I believe you’re headed in the correct direction. Goodbye, Mr. Atsign.

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JOHNNY: It was well past 1 am by the time I got back to my place. Normally, I’d get some sleep after being out so late, but there were some things that needed to be verified immediately.


JOHNNY TWEETS: @Zombie Thanks for the heads up.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? The ram has touched the wall. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

10 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

  1. Just so I’m clear, Schmalfeldt can ask any question he likes and it’s “reporting” (despite him being fired from every reporting job he’s ever held) but if someone, for example a person currently working as a real paid reporter, asks him a legitimate question, it’s because the questioner is gay? WTF?

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