SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICHOCHET
MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2
ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)
JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.
MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3
JOHN: I’m stepping out of character for this episode to share this bit of testimony from the Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. trial. This exchange occurred on Wednesday afternoon …
MR. KIMBERLIN: Do you, on your blog, do you have a character [unintelligible] and Internet sheriff, Blogsmoke?
MR. HOGE: Ah, yes, um. A, um, website that I believe is associated with you called, ah, Breitbart Unmasked, ah, did a satirical piece about me, ah, trying to paint me as someone who’s the, ah, Internet sheriff and used the term Blogsmoke, and so I, ah, in return started a a feature that is a take off on the Gunsmoke radio program that was on in the ’50s. And, yes.
MR. KIMBERLIN: So you see yourself as the Internet sheriff?
MR. HOGE: No, I don’t. I consider it a way of poking fun at the people at Breitbart Unmasked by taking their idea and running with it and having a running gag that’s lasted for about two-and-a-half years now.
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4
ANNOUNCER: Autumn is here, and cool weather is settling in. Soon it will be time to sit by the fire with a hot drink. Are you a proud member of Team Lickspittle and a fan of Johnny Atsign? Why not sip that drink from a Johnny Atsign coffee mug? Johnny Atsign, Team Lickspittle, The Grand Hog, Murum Aries Attigit, and Res Judicata merchandise is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5
JOHN: That’s it for this week. I hope everyone at Breitbart Unmasked enjoyed being mentioned.
MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Even with a good imagination, we can’t come up with stories as strange as The Bomber and his buddies provide for episodes of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT
ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign,” and join us again every Friday at 6 pm for alternating episodes “BLOGSMOKE” and “Blognet.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.