32 thoughts on “National Poetry Day


  1. webelos

    urine

    tiny pedo worship

    fat face selfies

    failed book sales

    serial adjudicated

    demoted customer service

    i parkinsons


  2. There are a few similar sets of signs as I drive from the Detroit area to central Illinois. None of them BurmaShave, but similar in nature. I miss them. We used to eagerly look for them when I was a kid and welcome each new poem.


  3. Carnation Milk is the best in the land.
    Here I sit, a can in my hand.
    No tits to pull, no hay to pitch.
    You just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.

    This poem is brought to you by The American Advanced Placement Studies Book for English, ca. 1988. I kid you not. THIS is the type of stuff they set us to studying for our AP Exams. And if this was is in 1988, then I shudder to think of what it is today….


    • Roses are red,
      Violets are purple.
      Sugar is sweet,
      And so’s maple surple.

      Roses are red, my love,
      Violets are blue-ue-ue
      Sugar is sweet, my love
      But not.. as sweet.. as you-ou-ou-ou.

      Roses are red,
      Violets are blue,
      Some poems rhyme,
      But this one doesn’t.


  4. There once was a man from Japan,
    Who was asked why his rhymes didn’t scan.
    When someone asked why,
    he said in reply,
    It’s usually because I always try to squeeze far too much into the last line.


  5. Please show that you’re not an ass
    STAY IN THE RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS!

    (some commonwealth nations and Japan exempt)


    • Into the cistern Little Willie
      pushed his little sister Lily.
      Mother couldn’t find our daughter.
      Now we sterilize our water.


      • “Irish Ballad” by Tom Lehrer

        About a maid I’ll sing a song,
        Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
        About a maid I’ll sing a song
        Who didn’t have her family long.
        Not only did she do them wrong,
        She did ev’ryone of them in, them in,
        She did ev’ryone of them in.

        One morning in a fit of pique,
        Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
        One morning in a fit of pique,
        She drowned her father in the creek.
        The water tasted bad for a week,
        And we had to make do with gin, with gin,
        We had to make do with gin.

        Her mother she could never stand,
        Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
        Her mother she could never stand,
        And so a cyanide soup she planned.
        The mother died with a spoon in her hand,
        And her face in a hideous grin, a grin,
        Her face in a hideous grin.

        She set her sister’s hair on fire,
        Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
        She set her sister’s hair on fire,
        And as the smoke and flame rose high’are,
        Danced around the funeral pyre,
        Playin’ a violin, -olin,
        Playin’ a violin.

        She weighted her brother down with stones,
        Rickety-tickety-tin,
        She weighted her brother down with stones,
        And sent him off to Davy Jones.
        All they ever found were some bones,
        And occasional pieces of skin, of skin,
        Occasional pieces of skin.

        One day when she had nothing to do,
        Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
        One day when she had nothing to do,
        She cut her baby brother in two,
        And served him up as an irish stew,
        And invited the neighbors in, -bors in,
        Invited the neighbors in.

        And when at last the police came by,
        Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
        And when at last the police came by,
        Her little pranks she did not deny,
        To do so she would have had to lie,
        And lying, she knew, was a sin, a sin,
        Lying, she knew, was a sin.

        My tragic tale, I won’t prolong,
        Rickety-tickety-tin,
        My tragic tale I won’t prolong,
        And if you do not enjoy the song,
        You’ve yourselves to blame if it’s too long,
        You should never have let me begin, begin,
        You should never have let me begin.


  6. BUTT-HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    THAT’S DEFAMATION PER SE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    LOLSUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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