Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Well, hello! We haven’t talked for a while.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) I’ve been busy.

JOHNNY: Yeah, me too. What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filer) The Grouch has got his old gig as an editor back.

JOHNNY: The same place?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh. You should probably check it out.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Second Time Around Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch I see that you’re still writing fiction.

JOHNNY: Bunny Boy had been the editor of the Goodguys Unmasked website since The Grouch had been fired in 2013. Bunny Boy had a three-year run, but was suddenly gone, and The Grouch had oozed back into his old job.

Back in 2012, The Grouch had published sealed documents from a lawsuit that had been leaked to him by The Bomber. It wasn’t long after he took over as Editor again that he had published something from lawsuit that had been fed to him by The Bomber. This time the document wasn’t sealed. Instead, it was a crude forgery of what was supposed to be a report from a foreign intelligence agency that defamed the wife of someone who was suing The Bomber.

Since the person suing The Bomber was one of my clients, I gave him a call.

SOUND: (Caller’s POV) Phone rings three times.

[REDACTED]: Hello.


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JOHNNY: Yes, and with that certification from the embassy, the case should be a slam dunk.

JOHNNY TWEETS: @TheGrouch You guys simply aren’t very good at forgery.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? Truth is stranger than fiction. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

14 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

  1. Here’s how I imagine that job interview going.

    BU: “So what special editing skills can you bring to us?”

    BS: “Well, I misspelled my own name in two separate federal lawsuits.”

    BU: “You, sir, are HIRED! How has the New York Times not snapped you up yet?”

    BS: “The restraining orders. There are nine of them.”

    BU: “Are you trying to get a raise already, Bill? Because it’s working!”

    • hahahaha

      I’m sure being too stupid, too dementia-addled, and much too corrupt to ever question anything fed to the fat freak by the previously convicted perjurer and forger, but much beloved (by the grotesque ghoul), tiny terrorist helped cinch the deal too.

  2. I bet The Grouch and The Bomber never thought someone would talk to the Philippine Embassy about such an obvious work of fiction. How could it be a fraud if it was so terribly faked? It had to be an attempt at fiction, yes? But no! It was fraudulently creating a document purporting to be from a high level government office (where have we seen that crime before?) in order to scandalously defame the wife of an accuser (where have we seen that intent before?).

    • Something I was speculating on. It’s possible Cabin Boy doesn’t grasp how technology has made the world smaller. Forty years ago it could take weeks to get in contact with appropriate persons in the Philippines, even through the embassy. Now? Email makes it a snap. I’ve got a friend in New Zealand I chat with, real-time, regularly.

      Cabin Boy is just so damned stupid…

      • The world is a smaller place. I’ve told a 30 year old storiy that happened 1500 miles away and had a guy ask, was that (insert name here, not inserting name because don’t give real bait to the blob)? And he was right.

    • And it was such a pathetic attempt at forgery. If he’d had a kindergartner write it in crayon it would have been slightly more believable, if only because it wouldn’t have Bill’s “handwriting” all over it.

  3. These dumb twits really think the answer to being caught on their criminal conduct is to double-down with more criminal acts.

  4. This might help fulfill the legal requirements Mr Hoge needs to prove conspiracy in Hoge v. Kimberlin. Or even better……an entirely new suit. I’m sure if we looked hard enough we could also find enough to pull FeFe back in. HA HA HA

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