Found in My Inbox


By now, the Gentle Reader should know that I don’t plan to make any substantive public comment on the Cabin Boy’s motion other than what is contained in any opposition I file until after the court has ruled.

Meanwhile, I’ll leave comments open on this post for the purpose of PLM, but I ask that commenters avoid educating the Cabin Boy™ on the deficiencies in his motion.

Oh, one more thing … because Exhibit D consists of confidential material under seal in the Kimberlin v. Frey case and because I am subject to the protective order issued by Judge Hazel, I have redacted that exhibit.

95 thoughts on “Found in My Inbox

  1. DiCK (Diminished Capacity Kid) strikes again. I don’t want to educate the DiCK, but needless to say a little bit of knowledge is sometimes worse than none at all when making a case.

  2. Wow, just wow. You have to wonder if he is setting up a pleading of diminished capacity.

    • I know, right? Who in their right mind objects to only 367 contacts after getting a no-contact order?

      And making most, if not all, of those go away by signing a copyright settlement agreement obviously has no value. What were they going to do, send a cop to give him a stern talking to and making him piss his pants again?

      At this point, that’s not even embarrassing anymore.

    • Now, now. Those South Seas islanders tried things they’d seen work. Bill just keeps trying things that have never worked.

  3. I can image Bwilly, sitting on his Scooter-Puff in his Man-MuMu, pee running out of his Depends and down his leg, laughing like a maniac saying: “I gots Hooooooge now! No way can he beat my latest filing! Roooaaaar!!1!1!!”


  4. I’m going to ask this again. Did the judge try to educate BS on the filing of serial Motions to Dismiss or did he just deny them without comment?

    I love how the Cabin Boy “strenuously” objects to the judge’s ruling against BK’s vexatious litigant motion *and* doing so by going back to the “almost 400” lie the judge has already disposed of. If it were anywhere but Maryland, that might get him sanctioned.

  5. Will the Court even accept this latest “motion to dismiss” from the Cabin Boy aka Adjudicated Stalker/Harasser? Or will they mail it back to him stating it’s improper, like other times in the past? And don’t get me started about Exhibit E. [REDACTED]

    • Yep. I’m sure he’s on solid ground there, or at least, it’s clearly an unusual case that’s quite different to anything that has come before any court before. Plenty of room to argue that, tons and tons.

    • The best part is that most of the time, you only see a train wreck by the rarest of chances, being in the wrong place at the wrong time; but we have the great good luck of knowing a DUMBFUCK who announces his intent to crash and burn in a specific place and time so we can gather to engage in much PLM and popcorn.

  6. I love how he keeps going back to the Paul Krendler is Patrick Grady, again.

    At this point, someone could show up at his door with a state issued ID, a passport and three years of tax returns that all say that he’s Paul Krendler and he would still file another lawsuit that says that it’s Patrick Grady.

  7. Is “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son” considered educating the monkey?

    • The problem is even if you’re trying to educate the monkey, he doesn’t see it as an education.

    • Awwwwww…. don’t be all butthurt, Blob. Just because the average number of posters on a Pinky and the Brain post exceeds the cumulative total of responses to all the crap you have spewed on the internet your entire damn worthless life….

      Yeah…. on second thought, be butthurt. More lulz that way, ya frikken toad.

    • Well reading what John Hoge writes is like walking through the woods by a crystal clear stream. Reading BS on the other hand is more like trudging through a fetid swamp.

      • You forgot “…downstream from a North Korean nuclear plant and upwind from a rendering plant.”

    • Read the comments, Dumbf5ck.

      Most of them are mocking you. They are not even mentioning Hoge, just talking about how stupid and evil you are. You seem not to get this because you are stupid and evil, and you cannot comprehend that we aren’t showing loyalty to Hoge like you do to Kimberlin, or quaking in fear like you do any time someone posts kitten gifs.

  8. Well, that was refreshing. Just when I thought BS had reached his nadir, he demonstrates his ability to sink further, and humiliate himself even worse.

    Stalker, harasser, and inadvertent comedy turn.

    Train. Phone.

  9. Dear

    I have this friend who’s involved in some legal entanglements with some really, really bad people. He’s just filed a motion, and some people who I totally don’t trust say he made a couple of oopsy-poopsies in it. He’s totally in the right here, but I just want to make sure.

    1) Sealed court documents are only sealed for the people involved in the lawsuit, right? If some third party was to get his hands on those sealed documents and file them in a totally unrelated suit, that’s just fine, right?

    2) Settlement agreements aren’t legally enforceable contracts, right? I mean, there was nothing of real value exchanged, and I (I mean “he”) was kinda sorta coerced into it, so it’s not really binding, right?

    Thanks in advance,

    Someone who really, really, really isn’t Bill Schmalfeldt

  10. Pingback: It Really is True. You CAN’T Make This Up | BILLY SEZ – The Muckraking Jourminalist (Errorist?) Bill Schmalfeldt Feldtdown Observer

  11. I’m still amazed he can’t admit he violated the no-contact order hundreds of times. And that he considers someone asking for protection from *HIS* harassment is an attack on him.

    Mindless. Absolutely mindless. There are tardigrades with more common sense and better interpersonal skills.

  12. Dear Just Anne Sir,

    This may be a dumb thing to ask, but please give big large solve in small short words so I get it good. I may not be S-M-R-T but I can fake it, more or less. To be big dumb pest is crime in MD. To be one who stalks is too. And in MA. AZ too. And IL. So is in MA. A peace order (some states call it big word like “restraining” but I do not know that big long word) can be give to man who not stop call on phone or send mail when people I stalk ask me nice. When judge give me peace orders (nine so far), I have to stop mail, stop phone, stop follow, stop scare. I hate it. But it’s not like crime, is more like a smack on my nose with a sock full of dimes. I won’t go to jail if I don’t bug them. And if I do bug them, I still might not go to pound-me-in-the-ass jail. So I’m not a jail bird (yet). Is it fair for the folks I stalk to call me this big phrase I don’t know what it means: “A Jew Dick Ate Head Stall Cur?” Or is that false to say since I was not found to be guilt of a real crime? Can I sue this dumb bunch of poop heads and get the court to make them stop give me hurt in my butt, and give me big piles of cash for butt hurt cream and a big screen TV too?

    Harry Splitter


    Dear Bill,

    Did you know that here at Just Answer, there is a back room contributor’s forum where we can post the stupidest questions we receive and laugh at the people who submit them? It’s nationwide, so it doesn’t matter if you post from Maryland, Wisconsin, California or anywhere else, we always figure out it’s you. We even have monthly awards for the stupidest question. It’s only October 3rd and I already won the $200 pot. Thanks, man!

    You are the most popular topic in the forums, with the possible exception of some crazy lesbian who just relocated from Oregon to California. You guys run neck-and-neck, which is actually a poor figure of speech in this case, because I‘ve seen pictures of each of you and there’s barely one neck to split between you both.

    But we still do sort of have a responsibility to give these stupid goddamn questions some actual attention and thought, so…

    Do you have a case for butthurt? No, and you never will. First, it’s not a tort. That is an insurmountable obstacle. Second, people are always going to call you names. That’s partly because you are an idiot, but mostly because you are a grandiose narcissist with skin thinner than an Amish phone book. You ALWAYS react to it, even if it is just to come here trying to hatch another stupid and pointless plan to file a lawsuit. Until you learn not to react to people making fun of you (and as near as I can tell, EVERYONE makes fun of you whether you perceive it or not), you’re going to be a miserable fuck. You can still file a lawsuit, but you’ll lose before it ever gets inside a courtroom. I notice that this is a consistent outcome of all your past lawsuits. You might think it’s name-calling, even defamatory, to call you a pathetic loser, but it’s just a simple fact.

    I know this is supposed to be a site for LEGAL ADVICE, but let me step out from under my “almost an employable lawyer” hat and give you a bit of real advice.

    These people cannot bother you if you stop visiting their sites ten times a day (which is frankly very damn stalkerish). They can’t hurt your butt if you shut off your computer. You need to throw away all your electronics and get a library card. Given the quality of your writing, I suggest you start with Dr. Seuss, work your way up to Amelia Bedelia, then on to Henry Huggins and Encyclopedia Brown. If you work hard at it, you might be ready for the first Harry Potter book by Christmas of 2017.

    I grievously apologize for inserting voluminous quantities of multisyllabic vocabulary. You probably can’t understand but every seventh word or thereabouts, but the average American knows almost every word I’ve used, or they know how to use a dictionary. And if you don’t, well…the path to inner peace begins with four words: NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM.

    Good luck, DUMBFUCK.

  13. An even more fun question for Mr. Bill:

    “Mr. Schmalfeldt, could you please explain when, where, and how Exhibit D came into your possession?”

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