I’m Not Making This Up, You Know

I found this in my email inbox late this morning.

I find it interesting that the Cabin Boy™ has the personal knowledge to be able to deny some of the things he has denied.

As for his fourth motion to dismiss, any substantive public comment that I intend to make prior the court’s ruling on the motion will be contained in the opposition I will file.

54 thoughts on “I’m Not Making This Up, You Know


    • Yeah, how he could even imagine that something the court ruled on was not complete or not valid just boggles the mind.

      Boggle, boggle, boggle.


      • He assumes that getting out of a court case under a mutually agreed upon position is not something of value. In settling a case, both parties give up total victory, in return for being spared total loss, and agree to settle their differences without dragging this in front of 12 people who couldn’t get out of jury duty.

        Yeah, I have no idea where Hoge gets the idea that that constitutes a “consideration.”

        Do I need to add the /sarc tag?


        • Are you going to argue with someone who has successfully prosecuted seven lawsuits in three states, Doc?

          Yeah, i know. I slay me, too.


  1. #73 is pretty hysterical.

    I recall that Unca Biwwy is now claiming that dropping a lawsuit against someone in return for another intangible benefit can’t possibly count as consideration. I can imagine what my business law prof would say about that; I’m sure it would involve a lot of snickering. UB’s interpretation of what constitutes valid consideration is wrong, and he’s going to find that out the hard way.


    • He knows he’s right just like he was right about forum non conveniens. Everyone knows general law dictionaries are better than actual court cases and precedents.


    • Schmalfeldt again demonstrates why no one should ever settle on one of his lulzsuits, assuming that he could file one that doesn’t get dumped on its ass, which he can’t.

      There’s no “consideration” involved, so it ain’t legal!

      What a DUMBFUCK.


      • If any judge ever suggests a settlement, I’m sure this part of his argument will be used against him in whatever court has the misfortune to have to deal with his whining. Really, to come flat out and say that a settlement for ending a lawsuit is always invalid since there is no consideration involved….

        I suppose one could pay him $5 too. Since consideration only has to be a peppercorn, and one can get a whole lot of peppercorns for that amount, it should more than meet BS’s insane test for consideration. And can you imagine the face of the next judge who’d have to deal with BS claiming no consideration? Though Bill would probably refuse the money for precisely that reason.


  2. There wasn’t a snide message to go along with it? I love their cry baby messages that usually accompany their motions.


  3. I love how he acts like this filing only goes to WJJH and he can be as juvenile as he wants in some sort of childlike tagback and no one else in the world will ever look at it.
    Whaddadouche.


  4. It appears that the Diminished Capacity Kid cooked himself in at least two ways in his mess of an answer.

    At this point, the best he can hope for is that the trial isn’t scheduled for winter.

    BRRRRRRRRRRR!


    • Came here to point out crap like this is exactly why we call him the Diminished Capacity Kid. See, if he made these filings the crux of his comedy routine, he could make a mint. Like the “Letters from a Nut,” just the legal version. But he’s serious about these, ergo Diminished Capacity Kid.


  5. Although yesterday, I gave a summary of what I saw and heard at Tuesday’s hearing, I am going to expand on some of what I said yesterday.

    I did not mention T. Kimberlin yesterday. Primarily that is because she said very little. One or two things she said may come back to haunt her (no I will not educate anyone). She did not look happy. She did say that she wants this over. Ah well, as you sow, so shall you reap.

    The three men were waving and smiling at each other at the beginning. Willie was visibly glum once it was clear he was not being dismissed.

    As I did say yesterday, Ferguson did well: he had a simple argument and stated it simply and concisely without any pretense of being a lawyer.

    Expanding a little on Schmalfeldt. He had nothing of any legal import to say in support of either of his motions. That is not surprising because they were ridiculous on their face. He did bring up that he was pro se as though a judge would ignore substantive law because a party is pro se; the “leeway” Witless asked for was to decide that a Maryland statute about a “circuit court” meant a circuit court in some other state. But 90% was simply a plea to be excused because he has Parkinson’s, the National Parkinson’s Foundation “advises” patients not to travel “alone,” and the federal government gave him a disability pension so he must be in extremis. He did not mention any medical evidence about the severity of his condition. In other words, he did nothing to flesh out his medical sob story. He literally phoned it in.

    Willie and Kimberlin had opposing positions on what was a convenient forum. Kimberlin wanted Montgomery County. Willie wanted Milwaukee County because it was convenient for him and was “centrally located,” which even he recognized was nonsensical because Ferguson had already been dismissed.

    So we came to the signature blocks. Kimberlin whined a bit about how mean John and Aaron were to him and his family (a topic he reverted to over and over again) and mentioned “leeway” for a poor, pitiful, pro se. He added that the improper signature blocks were de minimis because John knew where he lives, The judge said something like writing down your address, etc. was hardly burdensome and rules are still rules even for pro se. And then he added “this is not your first time on the merry-go-round.” I do not think Kimberlin is going to get much slack from this judge about claimed ignorance of the rules (which is only fair because I did not see the judge give John any slack on the rules). There may have been a slight subtlety in how the judge granted the fifteen days to resubmit, but perhaps my imagination was working overtime.

    Next up was the motion to declare John a vexatious litigant. Now we got a long emotional rant (so well delivered that Kimberlin should have taken up drama rather than music) about how this was a political plot, an attack on his friends and family because he was a liberal Democrat, attacks threatening his wife’s mental health, causing his minor children to be bullied, abusing an old derelict (OK I added that bit) with Parkinson’s, and hounding that old derelict’s wife on her deathbed. I wish I could remember the exact context, but the judge definitely used the word “purports” with respect to this list of grievances. The “almost 400 lawsuits” nonsense came up, and the judge observed that John had been a defendant more often than a plaintiff and that Brett’s exhibit was incomprehensible. Throughout, Kimberlin expected his assertions to be assumed truthful and complete: he really does not know how to defend. I’d recommend that anyone sued by this crew counter-sue immediately: they do NOT like being sued.

    I think John has already given most of the meat about the SLAPP motion. But the need to protect mothers worried about their young came up again and just as dramatically. And as I said yesterday, I thought a high point in John’s oral presentation was his pointing out that the remedy called for was a prompt hearing, which was what was occurring.

    On Brett’s scandalous and impertinent name calling, the judge granted John’s motion to redact and scolded Kimberlin.

    John lost on the possible violation of the confidentiality order from the federal court. In my opinion, it is an irrelevancy, and as of now the email in question is not authenticated in any case.

    Kimberlin lost his litigation privilege argument because he does not understand (or pretended not to understand) what the privilege consists of. Communicating with Twitter is not subject to litigation privilege. AGAIN we got the previously thrice told tale of how he and his family had been abused, etc. And this time he got himself so carried away in his role that he cried and said that his daughter has cried (and perhaps his wife and even the cat have shed tears).

    Now we come to the last motion for which I was present during argument. Kimberlin gave a list of reasons (including yet again the terrible things done to him and his family) for why the case against him and his wife (he threw Willie completely under the bus) should be transferred to Montgomery County. His strongest argument logically was the judicial economy one. Kimberlin said that the same issues of fact and law applied to both Walker’s complaint and John’s complaint. He said it was unfair that he and his wife should be defending the same case twice. The judge asked whether Hoge was a party to the case in Montgomery County, which of course he is not.

    Perhaps,John had a tactical or strategic reason for why he did not directly jump up and down on the judicial economy argument. He did not say that it was an unsupported assertion that the facts and the law were the same. He did not ask whether Kimberlin wanted John’s case consolidated with Aaron’s in front of Judge Mason (can you imagine the conniptions from Kimberlin at that result). If not consolidated, the judicial economy argument simply disappears. (John may have implied that point, but way too indirectly for my taste.) John’s oral argument here did not show him at peak form.

    The judge took a LONG time to rule on this one, and I was frankly worried. Yet clearly the combination of John’s oral and written arguments prevailed because the judge did rule in John’s favor. Then I bailed because I was already certain to be late to my meeting in DC. .


    • Neither Boom Boom Kimberlin or the Golden Showers Schmalfeldt is a simple “a poor, pitiful, pro se.” By my reckoning, they’ve filed at least 110 lulzsuits in a minimum of five states between them. In the Dynamite Kid’s case, his most frequent adversary appears to have been the United States government.

      Granted, neither of them has set the world ablaze with their legal competence, but that’s a different matter.


      • Perhaps I should reconsider one part of my last comment. By all appearances, Kimberlin and Schmalfeldt meet almost anyone’s definition of “simple.”


      • Actually Neal, Witless Willie is terrible as a pro se because he does not do any work. It is true that he has filed many suits, but he does not seem to have learned anything as a result. In the last suit but one, he could not even effect service properly.

        I can see why judges give him some slack because he is patently unfit to represent himself.


        • I’m not aware that Oliver Wendell Jones EVER properly effected service.

          In some of the cases, some of the defendants just said “Fuck it, let’s party” and a DUMBFUCK thought he was a genius …. until his lulzsuit was either thrown out or he ran away.

          He might be the only human being alive to have been through the legal system system so many times and not learned a goddamned thing. He just sees what John Hoge does and tries to copy it, whether its inapplicable or not.


          • I said, “Let’s dance,” and, considering who I had as my escort, was promptly dismissed with pre, and took some other, unserved, parties with me.

            It was a pleasure.

            Phone, train.


          • If I’m not mistaken, at various times, John, David Edgren and Patrick Grady also immediately responded to the lulzsuits with devastating Motions to Dismiss.

            It was fun to watch. Watching him run away from you was the most fun of all, Dianna. That gave me a giant happy head.


      • There is a contrary argument to be made, but the fact that undermines it is that being simple, and poor, and pitiful, and a pro se does not equal being a simple, poor, pitiful pro se.


    • I thought it was cute when the Judge tried to educate the midget on the tort of malicious prosecution, but did he try to educate the monkey on the utility filing serial Motions to Dismiss?

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