Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Cell phone rings twice.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny, it’s Aaron. Can you meet me for lunch?

JOHNNY: Not unless you like Texas barbecue.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) I do, but what does that have to do with lunch today?

JOHNNY: I’m in San Antonio following up on leads, and I’m headed up to Austin after lunch.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) OK, lunch in Virginia isn’t gonna work. When will you be back?

JOHNNY: If things go well, I hope I can get a flight back in the morning.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of The Frequent Filer Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @BunnyBoy The eyes of Texas are upon you.

SOUND: Quiet office background.

CLERK: Good afternoon. How can I help you?

JOHNNY: Hi, I’ve been doing some online research on business registrations, and I’m having trouble locating some records.

CLERK: All of our current information is online.

JOHNNY: Yes, but this particular record isn’t exactly current. It deals with a business filing that was originally filed over the Internet, but was withdrawn before it was recorded.

CLERK: That’s unusual.

JOHNNY: It is, but the company’s pretty unusual. It there any chance that there would be a record of the transactions that wouldn’t show up online but could still be accessed.

CLERK: You’ve stumped me with that one. Let me check with our IT folks.

SOUND: Telephone receiver picked up. Dial buttons pushed.

CLERK: Fred, this is Anita at the front counter. I’ve got someone here wanting to know if we can recover the information on a transaction that was filed online but withdrawn before we recorded the company filing … Uh, huh … Yeah … OK …

He wants to know about when this could have happened.

JOHNNY: Around the 14th and 15th of March, 2015.

CLERK: March, 2015. The 14th and 15th … Yeah … About how long? …

He says that it could take a couple of hours. Can you wait?

JOHNNY: Sure. Or you could email the results to me. Whatever works?

CLERK: He says he can wait … What information do you need? … Just that, nothing special? … OK … Thanks, Fred.

SOUND: Telephone receiver hung up.

CLERK: He says that he can run a search of the backup files for those dates. All he needs is the company name. Just take one of these forms and fill in the top part. I’ll get the request into the system for you.

JOHNNY: Thanks

SOUND: Quiet office background out.

ANNOUNCER: Here in Westminster, we’re having those pleasant summer evenings when it’s nice to sit on the porch and sip a cold drink while listening to crickets and watching the lightning bugs. I’ve been sipping mine from a Res Judicata travel mug. It’s just one of the goodies exclusively available for you to spend your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, and spend some cash to support Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.

SOUND: Road noise. Car interior POV.

JOHNNY: The search took less time that expected, and I had the information within a few minutes. I’ll be able to catch a flight back this evening. I love it when a plan comes together.

SOUND: Road noise out.

JOHNNY TWEETS: @BunnyBoy SOS can stand for Secretary of State or the traditional meaning.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? Tick, tock. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

12 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

  1. I’d like to give a big “Hello!” to those members of The Cavanaugh Law Group who lost the coin toss. No worries, just have a look around and all will soon be clear.

    • If the members of the Cavanaugh Law Group are poking around might I suggest a search of XMFAN.com for The Jovial One. His posts to underage boys about boning them in the butt are not to be missed. And then there are his posts at Daily KOS. Oh the laughs they had before they banned him for his vile anal rape “parodies” Banned him not once, not twice, but three times because you see, Billy is somewhat of a rule breaker and can’t take no for an answer…especially coming from a Cub Scout. Oh, did I forget to mention his multiple recordings of Cub Scouts being anally raped and urinated on while the Scout Masters looked on? Yes, this is the William “Stolen Valor” Schmalfeldt you have been saddled with. Oh yeah, about that Stolen Valor thing, it’s real, he did it. There is plenty of proof. Hope none of you ever served honorably, because Bil sure didn’t. Good luck and have fun with him. He’s a laugh riot. Oh, and if you happen to tell him anything he doesn’t like, you might want to shield your family from his website. He LOVES to bring families into things and Photoshop them in the most disgusting ways when he doesn’t get his way.

    • I don’t think that the Cavanaugh Law Group took any notice at all of being assigned a case. It will be quite the eye-opener when they find out which case was assigned to them!

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