SOUND: Phone rings twice. Caller’s POV.
JOHNNY: (Telephone Filter) Johnny Atsign.
PRODUCER: Johnny! Where are you? We’re due in the studio now.
JOHNNY: (Telephone Filter) I’m at the Marie Callender’s in Camarillo just off the Ventura Freeway having a late lunch.
PRODUCER: I suppose that means we’re not doing a new show this week.
JOHNNY: (Telephone Filter) No, we’re not. Didn’t they tell you? I’m running down leads in Southern California. I’ll be back later in the week.
SOUND: Skype phone rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Hello! How ya’ doin’?
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) I’m OK. Did you follow up on that copyright thing with The Grouch?
JOHNNY: Oh, yeah. Things got interesting.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of It This Thing On Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Maybe you should take the Fifth instead of drinking one.
JOHNNY: The Grouch was going crazy with threats of charges and prosecution because one of his books had been dropped by BigRiver because of copyright issues. When it turned out that it was claimed that the infringement was against a blog post by one my clients, I decided to get in touch with BigRiver to see how they viewed the matter. BigRiver agreed to stop selling the book and drop it from their print-to-order service CreativeSpaces. My client thought the matter was settled.
THE GROUCH TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JohnnyAtsign If you’re having trouble finding my book, look here [URL redacted]
JOHNNY: Sure enough, while the book wasn’t back for sale by BigRiver, it was relisted and available for sale by CreativeSpaces.
COPYRIGHT AGENT: (Telephone Filter) (Fading in) … he got in touch with us earlier today. He claimed that he had registered the copyright for the book.
JOHNNY: Yes, but that has nothing to do with whether or not he lifted material from an earlier work without permission.
COPYRIGHT AGENT: (Telephone Filter) I see. We can [redacted]
ANNOUNCER: I’m a bit old fashioned. I still like to read books printed on paper, and I like to have what I’m currently reading close at hand, so I use my Team Lickspittle Messenger Bag to carry my books. It’s just one on the many useful and useless items you’ll find exclusively at The HogeWash Store. Stop by today, spend some money, and support Team Lickspittle. And remember, folks, you can also support Team Lickspittle by hitting the Tip Jar.
JOHNNY: Since my client had filed for registration on the copyright on the blog post The Grouch infringed, certain evidence needed to be gathered. My first stop was the shop of a guy does a lot of lab work for me.
NERD: (Fading in) … can do it, but it’ll take a couple of days. I got a backlog. I’ll need you to send over [redacted]
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Thou shalt not steal applies to copyrights, too.
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next time? Three’s company. Join us, won’t you?
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.
Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.