Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of the ways that the Cabin Boy™ routinely torpedoes his own schemes is by going off half-cocked. Sometimes, he doesn’t even bother to pull the hammer back that far, and in his truly epic failures he forgets to put a round in the chamber.

For example, consider his current flapdoodle about the letter he sent me in January, 2015. Does he have it? Does he know where it is? Does he know if it still exists? Could he produce it for inspection? Under the rules of evidence, he has no case at all unless he can produce it.

I haven’t seen it since I handed it to Judge Stansfield, and I don’t know that it still exists. Typically, exhibits for a civil matter are kept for six months and then disposed of if not claimed. Because I didn’t have any further use for the letter, I never bothered to ask for it. Did the Cabin Boy™?


UPDATE—So the Cabin Boy™ claims to have the letter—MT201608030424ZThat’s excellent for a couple of reasons.

First, if the Cabin Boy™ still has it, it is very unlikely that he’s been telling the truth about meeting with law enforcement or, if he has, that they’ve taken him seriously. If any investigation were going forward, the letter would be in the cops’ hands not the Cabin Boy’s™.

Second, if he does have it, it has now become discoverable in Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al., and any failure to produce it (and proper chain of custody documentation for authentication) or the receipt for it he was given by a law enforcement agency could result in my seeking sanctions against him.

However, I doubt the Cabin Boy’s™ claim. If he has the original, why does he continue to use the scan of the letter and envelope from Exhibit A in my opposition to his motion to dismiss my petition for contempt that I served on him in January, 2015?

UPDATE 2—I should correct something in the first UPDATE. The Cabin Boy™ isn’t using a scan of the letter and envelope from my opposition as served on him. He’s using the redacted version that be be downloaded here:

Either he is very lazy or he doesn’t even have the court papers from the January, 2015, show cause hearing. Or both.

UPDATE 3—The Cabin Boy’s™ reading comprehension isn’t very good.MT201608031507Z

Not only am I not worried about that letter, but I also really do intend to demand that he produce the original in discovery if he has it. I’d like to be able to use it to help make my case.

51 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

        • John,
          I applaud you for trying to reduce Bwilly’s incompetence into a math equation, but you got it wrong.

          Full Cocked = 1.00 (or 100% Cocked)
          Half cocked = .5 (or 50%)
          Therefore 1/2 of Half Cocked = .25 (or 25%)

          And besides, I don’t think that Bwilly has the muscle strength to even budge the hammer back, let alone pull it back into a 1/2 Cocked position.

          And in the in end it doesn’t matter, because he would only shoot blanks anyway, as we have all seen from his past endeavors.

  1. When your opponent has the attention span of a gnat, you let him make all the unforced errors you can. Bill Schmalfeldt is in a box of his own making, and its sides close further in on him every day. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.

    • It is terribly impressive how much effort he goes into making sure his schemes backfire without any input from anyone else.

      I believe he’s really setting a new standard for fail in that regard.

  2. Periodic attacks of desperation motivate Schmalfeldt to destroy his own blogs and twitter accounts (rebranding!). Then any subsequent need for information forces him to search through other peoples blogs. Now THAT’S funny!

    • He may have mastered his malice aforethought but he sure can’t figure out planning aforethought.

      I bet in chess, every move he makes is King’s pawn to King’s pawn 4. Never any other move because either he starts over, not planning beyond the first move, or he forgot he already made that move.

      • If you’re referring to BS, I think you meant to say “malice with forethought,” an expression made famous by Oliver Wendell Jones.

        • No, Bill’s version was “malice and forethought.” You know, close enough that you knew what he meant, but far enough away that you went “that boy ain’t right.”

          • Note. AR#1, Bill still has _no idea_ what we’re talking about. He still thinks that’s plain English, and he still tries to pull of threats in legalese/Latin/pig Latin.

    • For a few days, perhaps. In his drunken mania, Golden Showers Schmalfeldt seems to have forgotten that this is at least the third time he’s taken this particular fantasy to law enforcement. It’s hilarious that he expects a different result this time, but he’s earned the sobriquet of the Diminished Capacity Kid.

      in another week, he’ll pretend that it never happened. Just as he does with all of his fantasies of people getting raped in prison.

  3. Just because the letter in question has been long ago shredded doesn’t mean that Team Kimberlin won’t at some point submit the “true and authentic original” letter in some filing. Fish gotta swim. Birds gotta fly. Forgers gotta forge.

      • Look at the paper, compare the ptinting to the signature. Laser print doesn’t involve friction or pressure.

        • And golly, I have to wonder…if the FBI CRAHMLAB does a forensic analysis of the microprinting on the forgery DUMBFUCK submitted, what will they find?

          Whose printer printed that?

  4. Re update one: Bill Schmalfeldt has stated that he has a copy of EVERYTHING he’s ever written, an admission that should be useful during discovery.
    Munko munko munko munko munko!

    • OMG! I always assume he can do something even more stupid than he has previously done, but this is just getting bizarre. He really needs to get some sort of serious care, and soon.

  5. The letter was written by either Schmalfeldt or Vizzini from Princess Bride:
    You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this:
    Never pick a fight with a man who buys pixels by the terabyte.

  6. Pingback: The Inconcievable Vizzini Schmalfeldt Forgery | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

    • PS – his tweet also means that he didn’t provide the alleged LEOs with any original documentation, just his copies. Hopefully, he wrote arrows all over those, too. Munko.

  7. As usual I am behind.

    Willie claims to have THE letter. The court released it to him? Why would they when, according to his story, it was not his property in the first place? If he didn’t write it and didn’t send it, why give him this property that he did not have title to? Anyway, let’s assume that the court did put it in his hands. That means it has fingerprints on it. Wow, how will he show that he had nothing to do with it if his own greasy fingerprints are all over it? He had better be able to show that Hoge’s fingerprints are on said letter as well. Otherwise, that will be evidence that it is not the letter that Hoge submitted. But assume he does have the letter and envelope that Hoge submitted. How does that help him show that Hoge forged it or that Hoge had knowledge that it was forged (if it even was forged)?

    Possibly all of this has been explained somewhere, and I am just not seeing the full picture. Will anybody help me out here?

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