Bill Schmalfeldt loses again.

More later.

UPDATE—The order above dismisses the case on the basis of lack of personal jurisdiction. The case also failed in part for failure to state a claim with respect to misappropriation of likeness.

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt keeps his perfect batting average of .000 intact.

103 thoughts on “Qapla’

      • Is there another document coming? The analysis document says that since personal jurisdiction didn’t exist the other claims for dismissal would not be addressed.

        • The judge says that he failed to state a claim for “false light invasion of privacy.” Mainly because it isn’t a tort in Wisconsin. Which we told him. Many times. Maybe now he’ll believe it?

          He also failed to state a claim because he was relying on his pleadings to convey jurisdiction over myself and Eric for libel and misappropriation of likeness. So, within his failure to assert jurisdiction over us, he failed to state a claim upon which relief could be granted. Priceless!

  1. Come on now, he won on twitter

    I want to thank Aaron for all his hard work and all he had to put up with wrestling with that mayo slathered baby huey…

  2. In a bunker somewhere in the wild (Maryland), the Pedophile orders Dumbfuck to file an appeal after his loss. Dumbfuck says to the Pedophile “We’re going to be rich, right boss?” “Shut up and do your job”, the Pedophile barks back.

  3. Nothing like a walk-off homer.

    I think this will adversely affect his earned run average of infinity. Still in the first inning… still hasn’t recorded an out.

  4. It’s clear that the judge had no interest in bothering to deal with the madness of this stupid case and wanted it off his desk and who could blame him

  5. Well I can see that Willie the Slime Worm’s letter to the Judge worked. He got the quick decision he requested, just not the ruling he was wanting.

    Damn I wish I own a liquor store in St Francis, I would make a killing tonight and the rest of the weekend.

  6. Poor Bill. He’s had his ass kicked in court by a toddler, and now by the World’s Worst Lawyer. LMAO. Bill is such a fuck up.

  7. What is it with Acme Law’s inability to number paragraphs sequentially? See footnotes. Also, remember BS calling everyone, including Aaron, a Yale-educated lawyer, idiots when they told him that Wisconsin law does not recognize false light invasion of privacy? So, is the judge an idiot, too?

        • What about the widower exception? Or did the fat freak lose that by leaving her to die all alone while it described her ‘death rattle’ to the internet, tried to score points against those the malignant monster hates, and otherwise played on the internet, ignoring her?

      • I like Footnote 1 in ECF 47. Even the freakin’ judge has to clarify “This citation refers to the second Paragraph 29.”

        • Oh, and two and three. I guess you are talking about the Judge’s document, not one of Bill’s.

          • Still freakin’ hillarious, seeing the _judge_ comment about “I refer to the second Paragraph N in this instance.”

            Almost as good as his latest droppings which went from 1-10 (with 2 repeated) in an 11 paragraph document. Team Kimberlin: Attention to Detail is something that other people do.

  8. Pingback: We have a Winnah!!! | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

  9. Very few progressives in the world can say they got bitch slapped by an Obama appointed judge with a yucky vagina. I think what Bill will hate the most is this ruling came from a woman judge. He so hates Sarah with such a passion because she’s a woman and now another woman bitch slaps him.

  10. Even making crap up, forgetting what he was doing at the time didn’t get me haled into a Wisconsin court. I love the fact that she signaled she would have ruled in favor of dismissing it on the other counts so being an undecorated, un war vet, partially regretful widower, mostly undiasabled, didn’t get this to court which if you think about it – it is a win for him because – it wouldn’t have one well for him.

    I so wanted the midnight special boogie chain, with one gram of electroplated gold.

  11. Brett Kimberlin was also found to not be credible in this case as well

    Imagine that a two-fer

  12. Pingback: A Friday Night Rerun: Why Bother? | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

  13. Congrats, Ash, and BPO! Well done, Aaron!

    Now just who is it who is “stupid”? Getting smacked down by, “the worst lawyer”? Oh, yeah, same as always: demented, diversely dependent, defendant DUMBF5CK!

  14. I hope there’s a BIG fees award, including for having to read and reply to the latest lunatic whining. bwahahahaha

  15. I see that Judge Joseph has most likely just joined the Dim Girls Club.

    Twitter is being very quiet right now. I wonder if he managed to have an aneurysm on reading this. I don’t really care, and I’m sure not many others do either, so long as he just shuts up and leaves the world alone (after paying Aaron his fees, though I suppose a claim could be put against an estate, no matter how minimal.)

    • I assume you mean the estate, not the claim, is minimal. Since the estate will probably fit in the back of an old pickup, and have less value than the pickup.

    • Oh, we’ll have the whole dance to do again in a few months, once he decides he’s suffered enough butthurt.

      Just remember: Randazza Law.

      • Ever since your lawyer talked to him, he seems to be studiously avoiding saying anything which could possibly suggest he even knows we exist.

        I find this both amusing and pleasant. It does seem to suggest that in a very few, very specific circumstances he can learn to stop putting his finger back in the flame. Of course we don’t know how long that learning will hold….

        • Something the horde should note: For the cost of a telephone call from Randazza (if that much), you, too, can be on self-humiliating and self-described Happy My Wife Died woo hoo TheMerryWidower‘s No Lie List.

          • Randazza deserves very special appreciation. He’s da man!

          • He certainly did turn Blustering Bill into a sweet little bitch fast, didn’t he?

            I continue to hope that Dianna someday releases the emails of those “negotiations” because I truly believe that they are among the few things that would be even better than anything my formidable imagination can conjure.

            Of course, there’s nothing stopping the Archduke of Dementia from putting them out there himself, if’n he wants to demonstrate what a legal ninja he is. After all, he did it with Aaron’s presumably confidential correspondence.

            I’m willing to bet anything that Schmalfeldt was too scared and stupid to insist on a non-disclosure agreement, since he not only dismissed Dianna in a wave of fear-pee, but her employer, Nancy and the Diminished Capacity Kid’s personal Moby Dick, Pat Grady, all at once.

            I’m virtually certain that I could write The Great Canadian Novel around those emails. Call me Ishmael.

  16. Scribd is having errors. They are displaying the documents with “error images” that involve a guy digging a hole in a book, and a lady falling over with a huge stack of books going flying.

    This is hillarious and wholly appropriate.

  17. Never mind Bill. Johnnie still loves you. Sweet, sweet Johnnie. He never argues with you. He always tells you you’re right. That’s true love. Best order another crate of Johnnie to make sure the warm, loving embrace never ends.

    Or as a tribute to the dim girls who keep beating you like a rented, red-headed step-mule, you could switch brands.

    Or take Howard’s advice.


  19. That opinion in the update looks like it was written by a student clerk. I guess it is that time of year.

  20. Here’s what an effective litigant Oliver Wendell Jones is – I had honestly forgotten that I was a Doe defendant until I saw this post. I was too busy laughing hysterically.

    Thanks to Aaron for his hard work on our behalf.

    • Ah yes. Who can forget our names in the cross-hairs of noted jurist Chief Justice Schmalfeldt’s legal genius? Our doomed panic? The utter surety that our homes and wives would be sailing to the shores of St.Francis? Praise the powers, but for The Miracle of Milwaukee we’d all be in chains now, slaving away in the podcast fields for masser Bill.

      By Jove, what good company to find oneself in.

    • The wife and I have been looking for something to celebrate. Thanks, Dumbf*ck!

      And thanks to Aaron, of course.

    • I have it on the best authority (Bill’s poor, forgotten, neglected, sad SAC) that I am Grady.

    • I almost forgot I was a Doe. And to think I was out enjoying hand crafted bourbon and fine cigar tonight when the PACER alert popped up in my phone and gave me even MORE reason to celebrate this great holiday.

      • Today is Canada Day and all 33.5 million of us joined hands and celebrated what a DUMBFUCK Schmalfeldt is. The ruling made it even more appropriate.

        Strange things bring Canadians together.

    • I never did discover exactly what I’d done to outrage him enough to put my name in lights. I always like to know where the sweet spot is.

      Perhaps we should just do everything all over again.

    • Whereas I had not forgotten I was a Doe Defendant in LOLSuit VI (as I was in LOLSuit V, too) — this was fantastic news to wake up to this morning!

      And, I, too, would like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to Aaron for his dedication and hard work on our behalf.

      Way to go, Team Free Speech!

  21. Congratulations Ladies and Gentlemen! Have a great 4th!

    Hey Shaky, next time you get the itch to file a lawsuit, remember what the Judges keep saying

  22. Lulzsuit VI is dead! Long live Lulzsuit VII!

    Were I to guess, I suppose that the Diminished Capacity Kid will try filing against everyone again in a counterclaim to John’s suit, which will be awesome because it’s been done and a DUMBFUCK doesn’t learn from his mistakes.

    Or maybe he’d enjoy wasting another thousand dollars of the little missuses life insurance money. Can you think of a finer tribute to her memory? Sure, I can, but I’m not full of cheap scotch and stupid.

Leave a Reply