Legal LULZ Du Jour


SRUs201604151839ZIs either The Worst Attorney Teabagger® or TWAT® a registered trademark? If so, does either one belong to the Cabin Boy™?

17 U.S.C. § 1326 PENALTY FOR FALSE MARKING
(a) In General.—Whoever, for the purpose of deceiving the public, marks upon, applies to, or uses in advertising in connection with an article made, used, distributed, or sold, a design which is not protected under this chapter, a design notice specified in section 1306, or any other words or symbols importing that the design is protected under this chapter, knowing that the design is not so protected, shall pay a civil fine of not more than $500 for each such offense.

(b) Suit by Private Persons.—Any person may sue for the penalty established by subsection (a), in which event one-half of the penalty shall be awarded to the person suing and the remainder shall be awarded to the United States.

There’s a big difference in the meaning of ® compared to ™.

30 thoughts on “Legal LULZ Du Jour

  1. Drunkenstein doesn’t care about the meanings the rest of society agrees to apply to words and symbols, only how it can (mis)use them to try to dig its loathsome way out of its latest self-humiliation.

    • “So, after reading this ream of lies, I wrote a Rule 11 Motion for Sanctions against TWAT®. The law requires that I serve him a copy 21 days in advance before sending it to the court. That is supposed to give the affected attorney the ability and time to correct the problems, or withdraw the motion.”

      LOL, just LOL.
      “Bill Schmalfeldt: sociopathically thinking the rules don’t apply to him since 1955″(tm)

  2. “Whoever, for the purpose of deceiving the public”

    Well, he might have an out: No one expects Bill to telling the truth, so it is unlikely that his use could deceive anyone.

    • Just because he is incapable of deceiving anyone over age 5, that does not mean that deceit is not his purpose.

      Sort of like his humor – his purpose may be to make people laugh, but he fails utterly at every attempt.

  3. I have heard that one should never get in a twitter fight with the attorney of someone whom one is currently suing. But your mileage may vary.

  4. And I doubt that Bill Schmalfeldt understands that, having served the proposed motion on Aaron Walker, if he changes a single word of it he will have to re-serve it and the 21 day clock will start running again from day 1. So he’d better have it exactly right, because if you shoot at the king, you’d better kill the king.

    • How dare you call Aaron a king! He’s nothing but a jester. And quit claiming I’m trying to shoot him! That’s defamation! Just because I took a picture of me holding my gun at my desk… and holding a rifle with my finger on the trigger and not looking where the rifle was aiming, doesn’t mean I aim to shoot anyone! Because I can’t aim to save my life. You had better watch out or I’ll sue you again! I’ll be rich!

      — signed,
      You don’t know who I am, but I’m not who you think I am, because I’m too smart to put my name on the page. Besides, my signature changes all the time, so if you put one of my signatures on here, everyone will know it’s a forgery.

  5. See, this is what I get for being employed: Late to the tweets, late to the fun, late to the Johnnie Walker Red Baron thinking he’s barnstorming while all he’s doing is crashing into the barn.

  6. He’s angry, because this is basically what Aaron’s about to do to him in court:

    Yes, I’m a terrible person.

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