I’m Not Making This Up, You Know

Well, it seems that The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is so frightened of Aaron Walker that he’s trying to get him disqualified rather than having to face him. This has shown up on Scribd, but it isn’t on PACER yet.

It will be interesting to see Exhibits 1 through 6 and get a look at what evidence the Cabin Boy™ thinks he has to support his motion.

148 thoughts on “I’m Not Making This Up, You Know

    • If he mentioned John’s name, John might be able to find a way to join in and contest the suit. And BS is TERRIFIED of John .

      And apparently BS is pissing himself again with the thought he has to go against the person he calls “the worlds’s worst lawyer”. Shows how utterly panic-stricken BS is of the thought of Aaron, if he wants to have the “worst” lawyer removed as his opponent.

      To quote BS “What a coward”

  1. If he’d wanted to paint himself a querulous kookjob he could not have put in a more effective motion.

    • I’m gonna get so confused.

      We’re going to need a dictionary for all the nicknames, ad a scale of effectiveness.

      Is “querulous kookjob” above “tremulous turdburglar” and below “certified whackadoodle?”

      Is it the other way around?

      How does “deranged cyberstalker” fit in?

      What about “DUMBFUCK?”

      “Mr. BIGS?”

      Wait, did I just make up another new one?

      Crap. I’m no help at all!

  2. It would appear that Mr. Schmalfeldt’s writing skills have begun to mirror a well-known pro-se plaintiff in his former residential state of Maryland.

    • Yes, this was written by Brett. No doubt.

      Go ahead and file it, though, Bill, as long a you realize you OWN it, as soon as you do so.

      Consider carefully. Brett is not you friend.

      • I hope it wasn’t written by Kimberlin. That would mean he’s practicing law without a clue. Or a license.

          • But “Schmalfeldt” is spelled correctly, so we’re back to Brett.

            But then again, at no time is anyone identified as a “Planitiff” so…

            It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a twinkie.

    • This is why I had to check the calendar and make sure it wasn’t April Fools Day because this isn’t Bill’s writing style. I’m still not convinced this isn’t a joke. My God, the dumbfuckery!

  3. How is any of that even slightly relevant? I am mystified.

    Oh, and at Lawrence Station, about 35 miles from my place of employment. Therefore, clearly not in the habitrail with the giant hamster wheel.

    • I think this falls under the phrase, “stepping on one’s crank.” Good thing I warmed up the LULZ muscles before I read this….whatever you want to call it.

    • Technically, his motion is completely frivolous. The things he talks about is completely irrelevant to the case.

      However, by doing this, he seriously exposed himself. I won’t explain it, but let’s just say that the consequences he will bring on himself will hurt him. All this for being a gamma and wanting to please Brett Kimberlin.

    • I don’t remember ever feeling the slightest trace of panic at anything he’s filed or done. Hysterical amusement is not easily mistaken for fright, at least not by the intelligent, calm, orderly and sober.

      • Didn’t Bill piss himself and immediately dismiss you once he found out who represented you? Yeah, I thought so. Panic? Bwhahahahaha. The only one panicking is Bill “Stolen Valor” Schmalfeldt as witnessed by this….abomination…of a motion.

        • Why, yes, he dismissed me, and my employer, and LG with prejudice, and has been pretending that he did so of his own free will.

          When he can bring himself to mention me at all, or LG, it’s always by his cute little euphemisms. *Shrug* Whatever.

        • What was even more mysterious is that he dropped me without my having done a single thing, nor had anyone do anything in my name, or for me.

          Unca Biwwy has got to be one of the world’s most cowardly plaintiffs.

        • If there’s a chance (by which I mean certainty) that you have filed a frivolous lawsuit that includes a claim that is not a valid tort under the state laws you are suing under, and if losing that claim, or having it dismissed requires that you SHALL be required to pay the other party’s legal fees, what might be the first thing you try to do?

          If you’re a DUMBFUCK like Bill Schmalfeldt, you get a convicted perjurer to file a declaration as an exhibit in a motion to disqualify opposing counsel.

          Which said counsel will oppose, racking up large numbers of billable hours for lawyers and paralegals which, even if said attorney is disqualified, WILL STILL NEED TO BE PAID BY THE PLAINTIFF IDIOT.

          Oh dis gun be so gooooooood.

        • You know this brings up an interesting question…

          In the impossible situation that Aaron Walker is disqualified and then joined as a defendant, WHO EVER IN THE WORLD WOULD STEP UP TO DEFEND HIM?

          Dianna, any thoughts?

          • If you restrict yourself _just_ to posters at Popehat, there’s Ken, and this new guy Marc. Strange guy, keeps muttering about walls in Latin. As far as I know, Clark is not a lawyer, but he understands cause and effect better than Bill. Heck, even Via Angus spins a more coherent and compelling tale than Bill does, and he’s a cow.

    • I wonder who’s comments look the best tonight? What parties to this suit will have their exact words shown to the judge? Those are the ONLY comments that have any chance to be seen by the Federal judge in this case.


      I thought I felt something that time he fell over while trying to pet his dog. Remember how he then provably LIED to the cops about the incident?

      He should work in a theater. The projection never stops.

    • Panic? Wow, Bill really does inhabit a fascinating world, doesn’t he?

      Bill. Nobody here is panicking. A number of us are trying to comprehend your logic, which is a task slightly harder than reading Cthulhu Mythos tomes and remaining sane.

  4. I just don’t get it what is going through his mind… what does it matter who the attorney is? To use a chess analogy, a litigation is not lost by the person who makes the next to the last “gotcha”. Litigation is lost when your argument as a whole is inferior to your opposition. He needs to be more worried about the valid arguments presented to dismiss his shitpile of a lolsuit than getting another lawyer involved (and more fees he risks paying). IANAL so what do I know, but hopefully Justice Ed Lolington swoops in to pass judgement soon!

    • Deb Frisch used to try this all the time. When a criminal prosecutor was handing her ass to her, she’d file a LOLSUIT against them, then try to claim that the LOLSUIT disqualified the prosecutor on “conflict of interest” grounds.
      Result? Deb Frisch spent half of last year behind bars.

  5. In June 1981 Kimberlin was convicted of receipt of explosives by a convicted felon and sentenced to five years in federal prison and, in December 1981, of possession of an unregistered destructive device, unlawful manufacturing of a destructive device, malicious damage by means of explosives, and malicious damage by means of explosives involving personal injury.

    Kimberlin was never charged, nor convicted, for the specific charge of “terrorism” a charge for which the FBI has a clear definition.

    Appear(s) intended (i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population; (ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or (iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination. or kidnapping;

    Sounds like a text book case of “terrorism” using the reasonable person standard.

  6. So, I’m just a “cultist” and not some fancy law-talking guy. But please tell me, do judges’ BS detectors (that’s Bullshit detectors, not Bill S. detectors, I understand the confusion) go off when unsubstantiated comments are made in a complaint about “right wing nutjobs” and blatantly conflating “free speech activits” with “right wing Christians”?

    Or will the exhibits make it all clear? Because if the exhibits are taken out of context, well, I have it on the highest authority (well, nearly highest, he just fell off a cliff and there’s this anvil above him…) that if you take things out of context people can sue you for that.

    Because Bill is all about context.

  7. Is there seriously a judge that is going to go to a website or three as directed by a plaintiff to look at anything? Isn’t that a serious violation of judicial ethics?

  8. I can’t speak for Aaron but in his place, I’d hope Cabin Boy does file that motion.

    It’s best evidence that Cabin Boy needs to be committed.

  9. I’ve been meaning to ask, are we putting up the statue in Elkridge, or St.Francis? Or are we getting them a statue each?

  10. Why do I get the funny feeling Brett Kimberlin is laughing right now. Bill Schmalfeldt is Brett’s muse (not literally because Brett’s muses are generally underage and imported but metaphorically speaking) because Bill for Brett’s purposes is used to decrease Brett’s own Streisand effect.

    • By filing this motion Brett( & Fat Willie) has entered his name and actions into another case file. His quest to improve his “reputation” by lawsuit has backfired to the nth degree. Here is another court, in another state getting caught up with all of his past crimes in explicit detail. Congrats Brett!!!

  11. I’m starting to think that this will NEVER be filed with the court. I’m thinking he posted it to get some reactions. There is no way his legal team at AVVO, Just Answer and Acme would allow him to file something so damaging to his case.

  12. I’ll admit that one aspect of this that had crossed my mind when it was revealed that AW was the attorney. It seemed likely that suddenly he was going to be called as a witness or added to the suit somehow. You all know that BK and BS would consider it a feather in their cap (that would be endlessly referred to in future filings) if they could get him disqualified. That would apply even if they lost the overall case.

    I imagine that such a move was anticipated by the appropriate parties.

    • So what if he is? You’ll notice there’s no case law presented for his theory that potentially being a witness.defendant means he can’t work the case.

  13. As the various assertions were made in previous cases Kimberlyman lost, they should pretty much be considered facts, from the legal standpoint. At the least, if there was a viable claim there, it should have been made 3 years ago.

  14. The chances of William “Stolen Valor” Schmalfeldt actually filing this are slim and none. Now that both Bill and Brett can see how ridiculous it is it will never see the courtroom. Come one, even Bill isn’t that stupid right?

  15. All you cultists need to take this seriously because he is a respected journalist of thirty years experience who is capable of FOCUS and abstract thought and occasional Nietzsche quotes so give him the respect he is due!

    Oh man I think I broke something holding it together for that. I gotta go rustle up some ponies for these statues.

  16. Yes, let’s remove “the most incompetent lawyer in the world” and replace him with someone *more* difficult to defeat.

    Well, it’s a strategy.

  17. Gee, how many MORE of the Restraining Orders against Billy could be introduced as germane, in light of Billy’s lulzy desperate attempt to avoid getting pwned by a real attorney?

  18. Pingback: How Dare You? Kimberlin and Schmalfeldt | Dave Alexander & Company with Ukuleledave and David Edgren — This is the original Artisan Craft Blog

  19. Pingback: ‘None of His Business’ | BILLY SEZ – The Bill Schmalfeldt Feldtdown Observer

Leave a Reply